“It’s hard to keep the faith when you don’t check in. I understand you haven’t moved on from Maine. Something you need to tell me?”
“Yeah, but it’s nothing you’re going to like.”
“What’s going on?”
I licked my dry lips. I had to make him believe me, otherwise Rosa and I would have to run and keep running. I made her a promise that I was going to keep. One way or another, she would be safe for the rest of her life. Collins was ruthless, but he was predictable. If I could keep him placated and make him think he was still in control, then nothing had to change for Rosa and me. It also meant that I needed to let go of the past too. I needed to let go of Shannon, as much as it hurt. She was gone, and there was nothing I could do about it.
“I’ve covered most of the eastern states, Collins. I can’t find her. If she’s even still alive, then she’s damn good at being a ghost. I’m hanging it up.”
“Hanging it up? Have you forgotten about our agreement?”
“No,” I said dryly. “But it’s been three years. I think I need to let go of Shannon and my revenge. She wouldn’t want me to spend my life dwelling in the past.”
“Oh? And what about the town you are in now? You’ve been there for almost three months, yet you cleared every other town in three weeks.”
“I like it here,” I muttered. “I guess that’s part of the reason I’m done. I think that Shannon would want me to settle here.”
“From what I hear, you are plenty fond of more than just the town.”
For the second time in a day, I felt the blood drain from my face. “You have people watching me?”
“Well, you know how it goes. After the first year without results, I had to start outsourcing, you might say.”
“That isn’t an answer, Collins. Have you been following me?”
“Not so much you, Peyton, but I have other men looking for that fiery bitch too. I didn’t want you to think I didn’t have faith in you, though, so I thought it best not to tell you. When you stopped answering my calls, I thought I should send a couple of others down to see if you were in distress.”
“Yeah, well now you know I’m fine, so you can get your men to clear out. I’ll keep out of your way if you keep out of mine.”
“Just like that, huh? You think you can just walk away from the family and your duty? What about your sister?”
“My sister wouldn’t want this life for me. I’m done,” I said with finality.
“If only it were that simple.”
My patience was starting to wear thin. If he already had men out here, then I needed to stop wasting my time with Collins and get back to Rosa. I glanced around the deserted road that I’d parked on to make sure that he wasn’t just stalling for time to get his henchmen to me. The road was deserted except for my black motorcycle. Before I’d met Rosa, it was the thing I loved most in the world since I’d accepted my sister’s death.
“What’s your game, Collins? You’ve got no authority over me.”
“You are right, I don’t. However, some of us keep our word. I found her for you, Peyton.”
“What?” I whispered in shock.
“Shannon, and she’s alive.”
She’s Alive
Peyton
I held the phone pressed to my ear, the gravel beneath my feet crunching as I stumbled backward against my bike. Did I just hear him right? There was no way. My heart pounded in my chest as the quickening rhythm reached my ears. I thought I would surely collapse onto the ground. I waited for Collins to tell me more but no response greeted me. Finally, I regained enough composure to clear my throat.
“What are you talking about?” I finally asked.
“I know that you heard me, Peyton. Don’t play dumb. If you want to find Shannon, you bring me Brandi’s head.”
“Are you insane?” I asked as the rage started to build inside me. “If you knew that Shannon was alive, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Peyton, I’m just about done with this conversation. I don’t answer to you or anyone else, got it? Now, what do you plan on doing?”
“If you already have men out looking for her, then why do I matter? Why does Shannon?”
“Because I think you’ve already found Brandi. I think you’re trying to protect her for some reason. So, what’s is going to be? Your sister or that bitch?”
I was no longer stunned into silence or submission. Collins had known my sister was still alive but he hid the information from me. What was his endgame? Why was Brandi and his sick revenge so important to him? I had more questions than answers but I knew that Collins wasn’t the one who was going to give them to me. There was only one thing that I could do to save my sister. If he was telling the truth and Shannon really was alive, then I would stop at nothing to get her back.
“You are one sick fuck,” I hissed.
He laughed on the other end. “You act like that hurts my feelings, but you are nothing to me but a bug stuck to the bottom of my boot. I can end you just as quickly as I can end Shannon. Is that what you want?”
“No, I will find Brandi and take care of it,” I said quietly. “Give me a week.”
“And give you a head start? You have three days. Don’t forget, I’ve got others down there too. If you don’t do it, someone else will. There is always someone else to take your place. Keep that in mind the next time you decide to branch out on your own.”
“One of these days, Collins—” I started to say.
The line went dead and I glared down at my phone. I had half a mind to tell him to take his job and shove it up his Irish ass, but that would get Shannon killed for sure . . . if she were even still alive. I needed help, someone on the inside. Right away, I thought of Danny and dialed his number. When I heard the monotone female voice alerting me that the line had been disconnected, my blood ran cold. He hadn’t made Collins’s final cut, after all.
Danny was a good kid, and knowing that he’d been put down was almost more than I could handle on top of the whirlwind news of Shannon. Collins was a snake for his part in her disappearance. I’d foolishly though that we’d bonded in prison and his loyalty to me was as ironclad as mine to him. I needed a plan. There was one other man who might know what was going on even though he’d faded into the mafia’s background. Kane was two years younger than me at twenty-six but sharp as a tack.
After Collins had been arrested, the story I heard was that Kane went dark within the organization. Unable to take the brutality, he’d become a distant connection within the group. I was a new member when I first met him and we quickly hit things off. He was sweet, too sweet for the harsh life of a mafia member. Dialing his number, I waited with bated breath as it started to ring. Even after all these years, I knew that he would help.
“Peyton?” he said groggily. “Do you have any idea what time it is? Is everything okay?”
I laughed softly. “Its almost nine in the morning. What are you doing still sleeping, princess?”
“Ugh, I’ve been running a crew on the north side for Collins. Nothing but a bunch of idiot kids. They are keeping me young.”
“You aren’t that old. I thought you were keeping your hands clean right now?”
“I am. This was as a favor to Mad Dog. Just sent them over to him last night, hence the need for sleep.”
“Boy,” I said nostalgically, “I haven’t heard that name in a long time. How is old Mad Dog?”
“Still a leader who keeps it low-key. Can’t seem to keep a crew or woman around him.”
“Yeah, that sounds about right. He always did push them hard, but he was a good man, unlike that brat, Collins.”
“Uh oh. I don’t like the sound of that. What’s going on? I haven’t seen you in what, three years now?”
“That’s about right, ever since Collins sent me on this damn Brandi trail.”
“Oh wow, he’s still tied up on that one, is he? I don’t go through his neck of the woods very much. A bit too much drama for me. I like to stick to the
elders. They’ve got a code.”
“So, you are working for the big dogs now?”
“Here and there to fill the time.”
I nodded my head in approval, even though he couldn’t see me. Working for the elders offered security if you were good at your job. They kept you safe from the lower trash like Collins and paid you well. It helped that Kane really did have a heart of gold. It was one of the reasons I’d called him. Once he knew what I knew, he would jump to help me. I just had to make sure nothing about him had changed. I couldn’t risk Collins knowing about Rosa.
“I wish this were a social call, mate, but I have a problem and I could use your help.”
“Anything. You have saved my ass more times than I can count. I think I owe you one.”
“One? Try half a dozen!”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. What kind of jam are you in?”
“A big one, and if I’m going to get myself out of it, I’ll need some help . . . but I don’t want to talk about it over the phone. It’s too dangerous. Are you up for a drive?”
“Sure, but if you’ve got issues, why not call Collins? Wouldn’t he be better suited to help you?”
“Not this time, friend. This time, Collins is part of the problem. I’ll send you the address for my safe house here.”
“So, you pissed off Collins? I knew it was just a matter of time. He’s a crazy person, not the type that should be in charge.”
“Why aren’t you telling that to the elders then?”
“You don’t think I’ve thought about that? My word, as good as it is, is just the word of one man against a second-tier crime boss. They don’t like it when people stir the pot, so unless you’ve got something damn good, we may need to take care of this quietly.”
The conversation paused for a minute as I sent him my address and he looked it over. I knew he wanted more details about what I was doing so far from home, but they would have to wait. Collins was a hothead but he was a smart one. He would be looking out to see who came to my aid.
“Kane, coming down here is dangerous. You should know that Collins won’t be happy about it.”
“You think I give two shits about what that sadistic fuck thinks? Try again. Whatever is going on between you two, I know whose side I’m on.”
“Thanks, I really appreciate that. And Kane? Hurry.”
“Sure thing,” he said, concern in his voice. “Peyton, is this about Brandi? Did you find her?”
“I don’t want to talk about it on the phone, but she is part of it. The rest . . . well, I don’t think you would believe me if I told you. It’s risky to talk about on the phone, but I’ve got some news about Shannon.”
“Shannon?” he whispered.
“Yeah, turns out Collins said she’s still alive and he knew where to find her. Like I said, too dangerous to talk about on the phone. Can I count on you, Kane?”
He was quiet for a few minutes. For a second, I though the line had gone dead when I heard him clear his throat. Kane had always had an affection for women like Shannon, but my sister was as wild and free as they came.
“Count me in. See you soon.”
Distant
Rosa
I struggled through the day as I thought about Peyton. I still questioned whether I’d told him about my past too soon. He normally stopped in before going to work each morning, but it was well after two now. I knew he wasn’t coming. Something about him seemed to change after we talked, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Was it possible that he just needed more time?
“Do some grand romantic gesture for him,” muttered Mary. “Men always appreciate that kind of crap.”
I rolled my eyes as another customer left happily with their food. “What are you talking about? Men like sex, beer, and football, and Peyton is no exception.”
“That’s not entirely true. I mean, I’m sure he likes all of that, but food is the way to a man’s heart. Cook him a big romantic dinner and force-feed him until he tells you what’s on his mind.”
“I think I moved too fast with him. Do you really think making him dinner will fix all of that?”
She shrugged. “I couldn’t tell you, but at least you’ll be well-fed and get one last romp in the sheets. Then, even if it is over, you are still a fat, happy cat.”
“Oh, my lord,” I muttered. “That doesn’t really inspire confidence.”
“Confidence isn’t my game. You want to talk about sex and night life, I’m your girl. I think that a nice hot meal is just what the two of you need. Why don’t you text him?”
I frowned. “I don’t know. I don’t want to bother him at work.”
“Bother him, honey. Find out if he can make it to your place tonight and see where it takes you.”
I sighed, knowing she was right. I had nothing to lose at this point. If he was done with me and my crazy past, I could know without a doubt. It was the waiting in limbo that was killing me. I needed to know what he was thinking. I’d already given him my heart without knowing it. Somehow, in just a few short weeks, I’d fallen in love with Peyton, but then like a fool, I’d gone and risked it all.
“Go,” Mary said as she stepped behind the counter. “I can watch the shop and close up.”
I looked at my friend. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve done it before—shouldn’t be a problem. You need to go get started on your big romantic gesture, okay?”
“What if he doesn’t even want to come over?”
“Then you have your answer and you aren’t moping around here wondering what to do next. Either way, you need to know what the next step is going to be.”
“Thanks, Mary, you’re a great friend.”
She winked. “I know. You never did tell me what you said to him that has you so worried.”
I shrugged. “We can talk about that later. I have a big date to plan, remember?”
“Avoidance, but I’ll let it go this time. Go get him, tiger.”
My heart had settled down a little bit after Peyton texted back and said he’d love to come over for dinner. Though he seemed a little surprised since dinner together was nothing new. I let him know it was something special and dashed to the store, ready to make him an amazing feast. After four hours in the kitchen and another two making everything in the house perfect, I lit the final candle and waited for him to get there.
He was right on time, as always. I had bought a new sundress for him, since they seemed to be his favorite, and let my hair down over my shoulders just like he liked. His eyes lit up as soon as he walked through the door, and once again, my heart started to race. He leaned down and kissed me briefly on the lips before going to the table and looking around at the meal.
“This is fancy. What’s the special occasion?” he asked.
I shrugged. “No occasion. I just thought after the bombshell that I dropped on you, it would be nice to relax and see that I’m not all crazy.”
Sitting down, he grinned at me. “But your craziness is one of my favorite things about you.”
“You know what I mean. I just wanted to do something special for you. Isn’t that allowed?”
“Oh, definitely,” he said as he dug into the mashed potatoes.
I watched him for a few minutes before starting on my own plate. He seemed genuinely happy with the meal and at peace. My fears started to fade into the background. Maybe it had all been in my head and he wasn’t being distant at all. The more we sat in the silence, though, the more I realized that he seemed a little distracted. Like he was waiting for someone or something to happen.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
He nodded. “It’s great.”
I frowned, and he took notice. Moving his chair back and coming over to me, he took my hand. “I told you, Rosa, that everything is wonderful between us. I just have some drama going on at work that I need to sort through. It has nothing to do with you, Rosa.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, feeling needy.
Peyton nodded and went back to his chair.
“Everything is going to be fine. Everything is fine with us. I just need you to trust me for a bit. Can you do that?”
I nodded, doing my best to have faith in him. As we finished up the meal and I started to clear away the dishes, he took my hand to stop me.
“Let them wait until morning. I’ve had a long day, and all I want to do is be in bed with you.”
Biting my lip, I nodded my head and followed him up the steps. He was back to his old self if he wanted sex. To my surprise, he didn’t pin me against the wall as soon as we walked into the bedroom though. It was part of our routine. He took control in the bedroom and I loved every part of it. Instead, he went to the bed and stripped down to his boxers before climbing in and smiling at me, patting the bed next to him.
It was the first time we were in bed without being naked since we’d started dating. My mind raced. Maybe he wanted to try something new? I stripped down, taking my time and hoping to catch his eye, but he was already looking down at the phone in his hand and scrunching up his face. There was definitely something distracting him and it wasn’t me.
With a deep sigh, I climbed into bed next to him and turned off the light. It was an early night to go to sleep, but I was tired. I’d been nothing but tired, it seemed, all week. I let my mind drift away, and before I knew it, the alarm was telling me it was time to wake up. Feeling well-rested and alive, I rolled over to see if Peyton wanted to make up for the night before with a little morning sex.
My heart sank as I felt the bed next to me in the darkness. There was nothing there. Peyton had snuck out sometime in the night without telling me, and now he was gone. It felt like a tire had been set on my chest as I struggled to control my breathing. After everything he’d said and after everything we’d gone through together, he had left. I quickly picked up my phone, ready to rip him a new one, when a message flashed across the screen.
Early morning meeting—didn’t want to wake you. See you later.
The words were there, but there was no heart in them. I’d done everything that I could to save the relationship with him, but it was all pointless if only one person wanted it. Refusing to let myself wallow in self-pity, I slammed my phone down and jumped out of bed. If he wanted to end things that way, then it was his problem. I wasn’t a docile wallflower anymore. I was an independent woman.
Dangerous Indulgence Page 5
