by Olivia Kerr
“It doesn’t matter to me,” he said, quietly. “It doesn’t make an ounce of difference to me if you are a demigoddess or not.”
“Of course it doesn’t make a difference what I say,” she replied. “You don’t believe in my beliefs.”
“Isla, it doesn’t make an ounce of difference to me because I can see beyond that. Your entire purpose in life is not just to ride into battle on a silver horse and scare men. There are things that you are passionate about; things that you believe in, and causes that you want to fight for beyond those which men determine.”
She felt tears well up in her eyes. No one had ever asked her what she wanted. No one had ever really cared what she wanted. All that people had asked her was what she was going to wear, or whether or not she was ready. And in the end, none of her answers mattered.
“What will David do to you if you disobey him?” Cameron asked, softly.
“Probably not give me the syrup,” she replied.
“What does it do?” Cameron asked.
“It gives me dreams,” Isla said. “Dreams of the future.”
“But you said that you have not had any dreams about this, and that you haven’t even had so much as a message.”
“I told you that my visions are not as precise as David’s,” she replied. “My visions come at random and take much interpretation to be made clear.”
“Aye,” Cameron said, “but don’t you find it odd that you’ve received nothing about this matter?”
“I’ve dreamed about you,” she blurted out and he met her eyes.
“Have you now?” he asked softly.
“I have,” she said. “I don't know if it’s proper to say.”
“Perhaps not under any other circumstances,” he replied. “But I would very much like to hear what you have to say.”
All she could hear was the crashing waves around her and the beating of her own heart. She didn’t normally get nervous, but currently, her mouth was dry and her palms were sweaty.
“I dreamed about you and me,” she said. “Under the altar of a cathedral. Our hands were grasped and we were looking at each other as if we didn’t have a care in the world.”
“What were we doing there?” he asked her.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “But from the fact that we were at the front, and the firestone archway was behind us...I can hazard a guess.”
“As can I,” he said and took a tiny step forward. “Isla, I do not pretend to have such dreams. I have never had visions that come true, and I do not pretend that the world is anything more than what it says in the Bible. But I admit to you, here and now, that I have had very similar dreams.”
“You have?” she asked him. Her breath felt as if it were caught in her throat.
“I have,” he replied. “And in those dreams, we were wed.”
Her hands were shaking.
“David would never allow such a thing,” she said.
“David would have no power over you if you were my wife,” he answered.
“How can I be your wife?” she asked. “What church would accept me?”
“Isla, there are many women who come to the church seeking to hear the truth of the Lord,” he replied. “They are accepted and welcomed into the arms of Jesus Christ. You would not be the first to convert to the religion from paganism, and you would not be the last.”
“But what if…what if I do not want to convert?”
“This is not a conversation for now,” he replied. “This is a conversation to have when we are away from here.”
“Cameron, there is nowhere to go!” she cried. “There is nowhere for us to run. The gates of our future are locked. We have this battle…”
“After the battle then,” he said to her. “After the battle, we have no more obligations.”
“Of course we have obligations,” she said. “I have—”
“What obligations do we have?” he asked. “I am not sworn for a life sentence. I am not in the military for a life debt.”
“Wouldn’t your father be upset with you?”
“Maybe,” he replied. “But he will understand.”
“Your father does not seem like the type that is understanding.”
“No,” he said. “But he will not risk losing his only son and heir. At least...I don’t think he will.”
“What if he does?” she asked, and he shrugged.
“Then I will have you,” he said. “Won’t I?”
She felt like she was quivering.
“Yes,” she said. “But David will kill me before that ever happens.”
“He will not lay a finger on you because I will protect you.”
“Do you promise?”
“Yes,” he replied. “Even if we do not end up married. I will never force you to do such a thing. Even if we do not end up as husband and wife, you will be under my protection.”
“I think that is a wonderful gesture,” she said. “But I could not ask for you to give up everything.”
“You are not asking me to give up anything,” he said. “I have free will and I can do as I please. And this is what I please.”
“When will we go?” she asked.
“After the battle,” he said. “If you are certain that David has no reason to lead us astray, especially after you told me everything else, then I am confident we will win.”
She nodded. “Alright,” she said. “Yes.”
“Yes?” he asked her, with light in his eyes. “Really?”
“Yes,” she replied. “Really.”
“Wonderful! Then we need to make a plan.”
“In the chaos of the celebration after the battle, no one will notice if we slip away,” she said. “I think that is the best time.”
“Alright, I agree,” he said. “Your bags will be packed?”
“Yes,” she said. “Although I really do not have much.”
“Neither do I,” he said. “I always liked the fact that I could travel from camp to camp with much less than the others. There is something that is refreshing about only needing a few things.”
“Does it make you feel closer to...your god?” she asked.
“It does,” he said. “It gives me less to think about.”
She smiled at him as the sun began to set on the beach.
“Are we really doing this?” she asked, and he nodded with a smile.
“We are,” he replied. “We are really doing this.”
“I don’t know what kind of future we are going to have,” she replied.
“It doesn’t matter,” he replied. “The future will be us together. If that is what you wish.”
“I...wish that,” she said, breathlessly. Perhaps this was what the hope was that she was feeling this morning. Perhaps whatever god was above them had granted them hope. She knew that she would have to face David’s wrath, but she had a feeling with Cameron’s strength, she’d be able to handle anything. “I should go back before David knows I’m missing.”
She hadn’t told him the fact that David had asked her to keep Cameron’s attention. She assumed it was just because David wanted her to distract Cameron from any argument he might make. David did not know Cameron like she did. She was certain that he would never do such a thing. He valued his father’s authority, and she knew he would go through with even the most ridiculous of plans. She just was not sure what that plan was after they ran away. She trusted Cameron more than she trusted herself, and she relied on that trust as she walked back to camp. She had to find a way to keep David in the dark until the moment the battle was over. Cameron would not let any harm come to her.
For the first time, in a very long time, Isla felt truly happy.
12
Cameron spent the next day and night coming up with a plan that he was sure was foolproof. He knew that he should be contraindicating on the upcoming battle, or perhaps even concentrating on listening to his father, who he didn’t see often. However, he could not tear his eyes away from Isla and the beauty that
surrounded her. The more he thought about their life together, the more he realized that she was perfect.
He didn’t know what to do about the fact that her religion was different from his. Why would God give him the woman he was supposed to be with and make her a pagan?
He knew that he loved her. He knew that he wanted to run off with her.
The rest was uncertain to him.
Is she telling the truth? Does she truly feel the same way about me as I do for her? Will she turn up after the battle? Will there even be a moment after the battle?
Cameron knew that even the greatest plans were dashed by the fact that battles did not go as they were predicted. Even if they won, he could be killed in battle, and then Isla would have nowhere to go. He hoped that God would not take his life so early, without at least attempting to keep him safe.
When he found her, early the next morning, she looked like she was praying.
He recognized it because it was often how he prayed. When there was no church to attend and no other worshippers to share in his beliefs, he simply sat out under the open sky and spoke to God in his mind. In some ways, it was the way he felt closest to God, under his creations.
Isla looked so peaceful that he almost did not want to disturb her. However, she heard his footsteps and turned around before he had the chance to speak.
“Hello,” she said to him, with a smile.
“Hello,” he replied. “I am sorry to bother you. But it is probably the only moment that we will have alone.”
“Aye,” she said. “It is a perfect moment, for there is no one else awake.”
“How do you know?” he asked with a smile as he crouched in the grass beside her.
“I know because I have excellent hearing.”
“I suppose that is true,” he replied. “You heard me coming and I am known for being exceptionally quiet.”
“What can I do for you?”
“What were you praying for?” he asked. He wondered if the pagans prayed for different things than Christians.
“Peace,” she replied. “I was praying for peace so that we would not have to deal with the horrors the battle will bring.”
“I thought we were going to win the battle?” he asked.
“We will,” she said. “But that does not mean lives will not be lost.”
"I was thinking of that very thing this morning and hoping that I would come away unscarred, only so I would have a chance to run away with you.”
“So you have made a plan then?” she asked, and he nodded. He was already speaking quietly, but he lowered his voice even more so that no one would hear. Isla had to lean in to hear him and he caught a scent of lavender wafting across the air. He wasn’t sure whether it was coming from her or the flowers, but either way, it brought him peace.
“After the battle,” he said, “we will take our bags and walk to the beach. There will be a boat waiting for us. No one will expect that we are escaping from the beach. They would expect us to walk into town if we wanted to escape. They will see the beach as a dead end.”
“And where will this boat come from?”
“The priest will arrange it,” Cameron said.
Her eyes widened. “Really? Why would he do that?”
“Because I have paid him to do it,” Cameron said. “And because I have formed quite a close relationship with him since I have been here, and he wishes for me to be happy.”
“Yes, I understand that,” Isla replied. “No one could want you to not be happy. But do you think he would still do the same if he knew who I was?”
“Yes,” Cameron said.
“How can you be certain?” Isla said. “All our plans could be set adrift—pardon my choice of words—if he finds out that you wish to run off with a pagan girl and disobey your father.”
“I was hoping that he would actually support my choices,” Cameron said. “As the priest has. He knows you are a pagan, but he also knows that you are David's prisoner.”
“I am afraid.” Isla looked down at the ground. “I am afraid that I have not quite told you the whole truth.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Yes, I am David’s prisoner,” she said, “but David is bought and sold. And the current buyer is your father.”
“I thought it was a donation,” he said and Isla laughed out loud.
“No,” she said. “He owns me. I was lucky he has not tried to...display that ownership in a more public...or private matter.”
Cameron looked horrid as the truth formed in his brain.
“Is that what David does to you?”
“In part,” she said. “Sometimes it really is just a wave of my hand or some other magic. But sometimes...it is like this.”
“My father would never do such a thing,” he said and Isla tried to smile.
“That is wonderful that you think so highly of your father,” she answered. “However, I am afraid that he, like many men, would do such a thing without even thinking. Not all men are like you, Cameron.”
“I…” Cameron wrestled with all the thoughts that were slamming into his head. “Isla, are you telling me the whole truth?”
“I am,” she said. “I would never lie to you.”
“You have lied to me in the past,” he replied, and she shook her head.
“Those were minor lies, under pain of death from David’s threats,” she replied. “Or a fate worse than death, which I am sure that he would have no trouble dreaming up. You have to believe me, Cameron.”
He looked deep into her eyes. The day was perfect, aside from the crushing feeling in his chest. The sun was shining and the birds were chirping. There was a peaceful breeze blowing through the air, seemingly unaware of the tense moment in the middle of the field.
“These past few days,” she said, “I have experienced hope and pure happiness. I have never before experienced those emotions at such a level. I cannot, in fact, remember the last time I felt hopeful or happy.”
“I do not want to believe that,” he said, “because it is too sad to believe.”
“It may be too sad to believe,” she said, with a sigh, “but it is true. I had accepted that darkness was my fate, and I would never find my way out of it. I admit, when I first came to this camp, I did not know who you were or what you would do to me. But now, Cameron...imagining such a life, such a chance at happiness, has my entire soul involved. If you do not believe me, then I suggest you take my life now, for I do not want to live under these shackles any longer.”
He had not expected her to make such a bold statement.
“I can do no such thing,” he replied.
“Then believe me,” she begged. “You must believe me.”
“I…” He took a deep breath and noticed that their faces were inches apart.
The Bible stated that he should never look at a woman with lust and he should never consider kissing her before marriage. But at this moment, under the pure blue sky, he could not resist.
He leaned in and kissed Isla very gently.
Her lips were soft and they tasted sweet, as if she had honey on them.
He wanted the kiss to last forever. He wanted the kiss to be more than a kiss. He knew neither of those things could be the case, though, and he drew back before he could not trust himself anymore.
“Oh my,” she said, and reached up a hand to touch her lips. “Oh my.”
“Oh my indeed,” he responded, with a soft smile. “I am sorry, I should have asked you before doing such a thing.”
“No,” she said. “If you asked me, I would not have known what to say. I would have been overcome with emotions, and then I would have never experienced such a wonderful thing.”
“Well, then I am glad I did not ask you,” he replied. “I hope that one day we will have the opportunity to do that again.”
“I hope so too,” she said, with a smile.
“I should get back,” Cameron replied at last. “Hold tightly to our secret, Isla, for it will not be much
longer.”
“I trust you,” she breathed. “I trust you as I have never trusted anyone else.”
“I trust you as well,” he answered. “And I know that all will be well. God would not allow it to be any other way.”
He headed back to the camp, with his heart beating loudly in his chest. For the rest of the week, he was going to have to find a way to act as if he hadn’t fallen for the pagan goddess. He was going to have to find a way to act as if all would be normal.
He still didn’t know how they would overcome their differences, or if they would truly find happiness together. He knew that their road to freedom would be far from easy. What he did know, however, was that finding the path, and at least trying to walk it, was the correct thing to do. He could never be away from her again. With his dying breath, he would pledge allegiance to her, and he would remain faithful to her until the very end.
Even if she wasn’t his wife, she would be by his side and that was enough for him at this moment.
“What are you smiling about?” Lewis asked when he saw him.
“Nothing,” Cameron replied.
“Nothing?” he asked. “You’ve been walking around with a smile for the past hour. When I first came out of my tent, I saw you smiling. That is not like you.”
“I cannot be happy?” Cameron asked.
“Well...not usually,” Lewis said and Cameron laughed.
“I just feel as if God has finally blessed me,” Cameron said.
“Well, that’s good,” Lewis said. “I am happy to hear that. Is there good news you would like to share with me?”
“Perhaps later. Although I am sure it will become obvious very soon.”
Lewis gave him an odd look.
“Are you up to something, Cameron?”
“No,” Cameron replied. “Not yet.”
Lewis shook his head and laughed. “Well, just know, my friend, that as long as you are happy, I am happy for you.”
“Wonderful,” Cameron said. “That is important to hear.”
“Aye,” Lewis said. “I thought you already knew that.”
“I did,” Cameron said. “But I just needed to hear it from you once more.”
