by Bonnie Lamer
I turn around to the people I have spent the last few days with. Some I care for, some I may learn to do so. It’s time now for my concession.
Chapter 18
After another bath to remove the sand from uncomfortable places, I am sitting in front of the dressing table. Tabitha is doing my hair and the dress she made for me is lying on the bed. I don’t want to put it on yet. I’m not having second thoughts; I’m just scared that Kallen and I will not be able to abide by the rules.
Finally, it’s time to put on the dress and go downstairs. The dress is white silk and lace that hugs my curves from the sleeveless bodice down to the bottom of the knee length skirt. Tabitha has gone on ahead. I’m taking a moment to determine if I’m doing the right thing or not. I think I am.
I open the door to my room and Kallen is standing there waiting for me. His eyes move up and down my body and come back slowly to meet mine. “You are beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
Putting his hands on my cheeks, he searches my eyes for doubt. “I meant what I said last night. You do not have to do this.”
I smile. “It’s not like we’re actually getting married.”
“No, but the magic involved in this ritual is powerful and binding. If we do not follow the guidelines, we will be hand-fasted.”
I shrug. “We’re in the same situation as before.” I know because I asked a lot of questions before agreeing to this. It’s the same deal. If we have sex, by Fairy law we’ll be married. Except now we’ll have more freedom to be together.
A ritual rarely used by Fairies allows a couple to act married without really being married, or hand-fasted, as they say. This is my concession to Isla and Dagda both, because the way Kallen and I behave with each other could seriously affect both of their credibility as authority figures. This way, Kallen and I can do things like sleep in the same bed without having to sneak around. The catch is, if we have sex, we are married right then and there. There’s no saying no. There’s no choice any more. We’ll be bound by magic, forever connected in the Fairy realm. The spell lasts for two years. At that point, if we have not consummated the relationship (I blushed when Isla said that), we will need to make a choice. Either we go our separate ways or we are hand-fasted. I figure that gives us plenty of time to figure things out. Mom and Dad might not like it, but it’s not like they really need to know, right?
With a smile, I take Kallen’s hand and we make our way to the beach. Isla and Tabitha are beaming as they turn to us. Tabitha has a tissue in her hand because tears keep making their way from her eyes down her cheeks. I think I see a tear or two in Isla’s eye, but she tries to ignore them. Alita and Kegan stand to the side. Alita looks thrilled for us, Kegan maybe not as much.
Under an arched trellis covered with pink lilies and roses, Dagda is waiting for us. He will officiate over the service; as the King must perform this particular type. I probably would have let him do it anyway. He did travel a long ways today on the road to building a relationship with me. I’m far, far away from calling him Dad, though.
When we stop in front of him, he begins to speak. “In all of our lives, we can look back at our pasts with the clarity of hindsight and see the times we acted foolishly. I do not regret, Xandra, leading your mother astray, though I do hope she can someday forgive me. Together, she and I created a life so full of promise, a daughter as beautiful as she is intelligent and kind. I take no responsibility for shaping you into the person you have become, that is your mother’s doing, but I hope that I may be a part of your future. I have committed atrocities against you, but in time, I hope that my actions will someday help us put that behind us. Not forgotten, but hopefully, forgiven.
“Kallen, you have always been like a son to me. Your opinions have widely differed from mine, and your strength in standing by your beliefs is a trait I have belatedly come to admire. There is no other I would trust to stand by Xandra’s side.
“Today, we come together to join Xandra and Kallen in a left handed fasting, a trial of love, a commitment of time.” He pauses to wrap our left hands together with white lace. “Love and youth, a powerful combination, can lead us astray, cloud our desires, and make our judgments poor. For this reason, this fasting will help bring clarity and offer the gift of time. A chance to make the right choice, a step towards permanency and eternal happiness. Two years from this day, Kallen and Xandra will return to this spot, and make their decision to either separate, or to be right hand-fasted forever more. If in these two years, the union is consummated, that act will constitute a decision made. A life together begun. Kallen, are you willing to pledge your life that the terms of this left hand-fasting will be abided?”
Kallen has the widest grin I have ever seen on his face. “Yes.”
“Xandra, are you willing to pledge your life that the terms of this left hand-fasting will be abided?”
Pledge my life? Oh, what did I get myself into? “Yes.”
“Then be together until the time comes to make your permanent choice.”
Clapping and crying ensue. Maybe even a little bit of crying on my part. Even though it wasn’t a real marriage ceremony, I can’t help a stab of guilt that Mom and Dad weren’t here for this. I try to push that aside as I’m hugged by Isla, Tabitha and Alita. Kallen and Kegan shake hands, and Dagda gives Kallen a bear hug. I think there might be a tear lurking in Dagda’s eye, but he’s as good at hiding it as Isla is.
It’s not long afterwards that Dagda leaves to go put his palace back to rights. He needs to figure out who the traitors were and deal with them. I didn’t ask what that meant.
Kallen is all smiles throughout the day. Kegan still looks a bit unhappy, but I notice him spending time with Alita in private conversations. Maybe there’s hope for them yet.
Later that night, Kallen and I are lying in bed trying to be good, just a few lingering kisses as we try to remember that we’re not actually married. “I love you,” he murmurs against my lips.
“I love you, too,” I sigh as his hands find their way to the places that make my body sing. Kallen made my nightgown again, so there’s very little fabric to keep his hands at bay. We’re not married, I say to myself for the hundredth time but my body and hands are having a hard time hearing me. His hand dips into my panties, making my body rise to greet him, for just a moment before he removes it and rolls to his back.
“Kallen?”
“I am sorry; I am trying to remember the reasons why we should not be doing that.”
I laugh. “Me, too.”
Rolling back towards me, he lays his hand on my cheek. “I think it best I keep my hands to myself the rest of the night, for I find I am losing control of them.”
I know disappointment flashes through my eyes, but he’s right. I nod, not trusting the right words will come out of my mouth if I speak. I cuddle close to him and lay my head on his chest, knowing it will be a long time before sleep finds me. When it does, it brings relief to my soul that is yearning for his touch.
I can’t have been asleep for more than ten minutes when an ear piercing noise wakes me up. It feels as if my head is a tea kettle and the water is boiling. I sit bolt upright in bed, Kallen following soon after. I have my hands pressed tightly to my ears trying to block out the sound. I know he keeps asking me what’s wrong, but I don’t think it’s possible to talk through the pain.
As quickly as it began, it stops. I am so relieved I feel like crying. “What is it?” Kallen asks.
But I don’t answer him. I’m staring straight ahead in the darkness. Right at the place where my Aunt Barb is floating. “Xandra!” she yells. “I need your help.”
“Aunt Barb, are you a…”
“Aunt Barb? Xandra, are you alright?” Kallen asks. The expression on his face tells me that he thinks I’m crazy, or imagining things.
“No, I’m not a ghost. The astral projecting, I did it, but it’s wrong. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.”
“What do you mean?”
“I
’m not in the right plane of existence. I’m trapped here. I can’t find my body, and I’m not the only one looking for it. There are creatures here, shadows, that are chasing me. They want to escape through my body.”
“Aren’t Mom and Dad able to help you?”
She shakes her head. “I’m not in their plane of existence, either. I can’t see them, and I believe you are the only one who can see me. There’s more. Zac was with me. He’s disappeared, and I can’t find him. I believe one of the shadows grabbed him as soon as we arrived in this plane. Help us, Xandra. Please!” And then she’s gone.
“Xandra, what is it?” Kallen asks again. “What is happening?”
“My Aunt has astral projected herself to some plane of existence that has her trapped. I have to help her.” I get out of bed.
“Where are you going?”
“To see what Isla knows about other planes. And to see if she can tell me how to get to them.” One more thing to add to the list of things I don’t know, but need to find out.
Kallen scrambles out of bed after me, clothing us both in more appropriate attire as we begin our next adventure.
