“What does that mean?”
“Since you were, what — five? — within two seconds of seeing someone you would offer them tea. No tea! I’ve been here a lot longer than two seconds, and you haven’t even mentioned tea. This isn’t good, Cara. You aren’t your normal Cara self. It’s like the whole world is falling apart.”
“Yeah, well, evidently my normal Cara self is all delusional and martyrish and secretive and a liar.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about what Sinead said.”
“Oh, give it a rest. She’s going through a really hard time. Would you want to tell Mom and Dad that you’re pregnant when they’ve only just come back from their dream trip and they’ve only met your boyfriend twice? Think about that, Cara. I would run away and live on an ashram.”
“We aren’t Indian.”
“Which is why Mom and Dad would never look for me there.”
“Besides, I thought that an ashram was a spiritual event, not a place to hang out.”
“Shut up, you know what I meant.”
“True.”
“We don’t spend any time together anymore. We’re all out of sync, and I don’t like it.”
“Me either. It just seems like days are short and I’m unorganized and life isn’t flowing like it used to.”
“Cara, life has always been busy, and we always made sure to make time for each other no matter what.”
“Yeah, but you’re busy with Jessie, and I’m busy with A.J., and then we’ve got all the other stuff going on.”
“So, if I told you that I was going to die next year, would you make time for me now?”
“Now you sound like Mom.”
“Exactly. If you don’t make time for me now, you don’t get to complain later when I’m gone.”
“I felt that way just after Bernie died. Like I should have made more time for her.”
“You would feel a lot worse if it were me, ‘cause I’d come back and haunt your butt.”
“Promise?”
“Yep. The one of us who goes first haunts the one of us who stays behind.”
“Or we could just go at the same time.”
“Now you just sound creepy.”
Teagan followed me into the kitchen and watched me put on the kettle.
“So, are we talking about Sinead or not? Is she really okay? Has she been to the doctor? What does Howard say? I swear to God, Teagan, if he’s a jerk about it, I’m going to haunt him long before I’m dead.”
“We’re officially not talking, but we’re talking. Howard is a great guy. He’s really excited. He wasn’t planning on this, and he has his whole life pretty much planned out, so planning is important to him, but he’s embracing the baby. He loves Sinead. He wants to marry her.”
“Well, that’s good. Daddy won’t have to kill him.”
“It’s Sinead who doesn’t want to get married.”
“Really? Why not?”
“Well, I guess the more accurate way to phrase it would be that she doesn’t want to get married right now. She wants to give it some time. She wants the idea of it to sink in. She doesn’t want to get all carried away with herself and marry Howard because of the romance of it or because of fear or the social requirement or any one of a million other reasons we could all come up with and then regret it later.”
“She always has been the smart one of the group.”
“I think it’ll all be okay. I’m a little worried that she won’t do school the way she was planning, but Howard really values education, and Sinead is a smart person, so I’m hoping that outweighs the rest of it.”
“I’ve never been pregnant, thank you, God — not that I don’t want kids, I just don’t want them now — but I think it would be hard to go to school and keep a new relationship going and everything else, especially being so young. When I was Sinead’s age, which wasn’t all that long ago, I was trying so hard to prove that I could live on my own…”
Teagan snapped at me. “Well, she isn’t you, and you aren’t me. She’ll be fine.”
“I wasn’t saying she wouldn’t be. What’s going on? Are you mad at me about something?”
“No, not really.”
“Not really means kind of. What’s going on? What did I do?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to counseling?”
“I didn’t tell anybody.”
“You told Morgan, and, besides, I’m not anybody. I used to be your favorite sister.”
“Mom’s going to smack you all the way from Ireland. We don’t have favorites. We all love each other just the same. And you are misinformed. I didn’t tell Morgan. Morgan told me.”
“I’m lost.”
“Remember when I almost passed out after Seamus came running in to tell the family that his lovely bride is pregnant?”
“How could I forget? Valerie was all green, and you were sitting there with your head between your knees. It was a great way to start the day.”
“Morgan attacked me and told me she thought I was suffering from some kind of post-traumatic thing and that I should go to the counselor that she went to, I guess not too long ago because the counselor isn’t old enough to have been counseling when she got hurt as a teen.”
“She attacked you? Really?”
“Okay, she strongly suggested and I agreed because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She went to hell and back through that whole thing. What was I supposed to say? Sorry, Morgan, counseling is not something O’Flynns do. I’m stronger than you. I’ll just work through it like I’ve worked through everything else.”
“What everything else?”
“What?”
“What have you ever had to work through?”
“It’s just a figure of speech.”
“You sure? It didn’t sound like that.”
“What’s going on with us? We seem to be all over each other. Everything that comes out of my mouth is wrong. Everything is rubbing you the wrong way. We aren’t prickly people, Teagan. We don’t do this kind of stuff.”
“I know. Life has been weird for the last few months.”
“It seems to me we aren’t putting enough effort into not having a normal life. I was thinking about that a little while ago. Remember how Mom always pushed us to do something different? Not to be in a rut. When is the last time we did something different?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, just something.”
Teagan’s eyes got big. “They have a thing in Orlando I’ve been wanting to try. Skydiving…”
“Have you lost your mind? There is no way I’m going to skydive. Not in this lifetime. Not in the next. Probably falling from something really high is what happened to me in my last lifetime, and that’s why I’m afraid of heights now. Probably thrown off a castle or into a volcano or something.”
“Yeah, right. You are just a chicken. There’s no big secret. Anyway, what I was going to say is that it is virtual skydiving.”
“Do you go up in the air?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’m not doing it.”
“I’m not asking you to. All I’m saying is maybe we could take a day or two, and you could come with me. I could do the skydiving thing, and then you and I could go to the Cirque du Soleil show — you always like that — or maybe we could do a day at Disney. We could keep going to Saint Augustine and go to the old part of town with the fort and all the shops or an alligator farm or Blue Man Group or maybe they have a tour through the space center. Just something different than get up, go to work, come home, go to bed, get up.”
“Everything okay with Jessie?”
“Everything is fine. He’s been on the road a lot. That’s getting difficult to deal with. I know that back in the day there were traveling salesmen and all that kind of stuff and women just put up with it, but I’m not sure this is what I want to do. I love Jessie, but I don’t want to spend half my time alone. And he kind of expects me to spend that
time with his mom. That way he doesn’t have to feel guilty because he doesn’t spend any time with her. He figures we are spending time with her, and that’s good enough.”
“I’m sorry. Maybe it’s just a rough spot. All relationships have them.”
“Yeah, and I hate women who do that whole ‘if you really loved me’ thing. It’s crap. It’s like women who say that stupid thing: ‘If you can’t deal with me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.’ Who said that anyway?”
“Wasn’t that Marilyn Monroe?”
“Yeah, that’s a person you want to aspire to be. I don’t know all the details, I can’t tell you how many people have made comparisons between her and me because of the whole curves thing, and still I’ve never done any real research about her. It seems to me that people really romanticize her life. A lot. It seems to me she had a hard life, didn’t handle it all that well, and paid the ultimate price for it.”
“Yep. You aren’t like that at all.”
“I know. What I meant was that I don’t understand why women say that. There is a woman at work, completely changed her look since she got married. Stopped coloring her hair. Put on more than a few pounds. Like a hundred. Her clothes are…”
“Teagan, maybe she is overworked or stressed or maybe her husband likes her new look.”
“I wouldn’t have said a word, and you know that, but she is the one who has been complaining at work. She’s always saying that he doesn’t treat her the way he used to and on and on and on. One of the other women gently asked if maybe she’d like to — as she put it — pruce herself up a little because she used to love fashion and all the rest of it. She about ripped the woman’s face off. Said she was married now and didn’t have to do all that, that her husband was supposed to love her anyway and then that stupid quote.”
“What did you say?”
“I didn’t say anything. She isn’t my biggest fan to begin with. But another one of the women pointed out that guys are visual and that it isn’t about the looks anyway. It is about the person knowing that their partner cared enough to put in a little effort.”
“How did she respond to that?”
“I’m glad there were no punches.”
“And speaking of not saying anything, you didn’t even notice my hair. You. Teagan O’Flynn. Of all people in the whole universe.”
“I’ve seen you since you cut it, Cara.”
“Yes, but this color is really different. Instead of low lights it’s a whole new color. I was all nervous that it was too outrageous. Adeline loves me and all that, but you can overdo being unique, and people don’t really take you seriously anymore, and that could be a problem at work. Here I am trying not to have a nervous breakdown, and you didn’t even notice. There was a time that you would have noticed if I painted my toe nails a different color.”
“Yeah, but hairy toes with painted toe nails is just disturbing.”
“Shut up.”
“Like I said, things have been rough. My brain isn’t working.”
“Did the doctor call?”
“Doctor? You mean your counselor?”
“No, I mean your doctor.” She looked more confused than I felt, so I continued without making her comment. “It’s just that you had to go in for all those tests and things and you seem really out of it. I was afraid maybe they called and said there was a problem.”
“Cancel! There is no problem with my health. I’m perfectly healthy for a woman who gets no sleep. Ever.”
“Why no sleep?”
“It’s just the whole thing with Jessie. I just get used to sleeping beside him, and then he’s gone. I just get used to sleeping alone, and he’s back. I turn over and expect him to be there, and he’s not. Or I turn over expecting to have the bed to myself, and there he is snoring and taking all the covers.”
“Snoring? Really? He doesn’t seem the snoring type.”
“I know. I was shocked too.”
“Well, it’s a good thing he snores.”
“Why’s that?”
“He’s only entitled to one flaw. You can live with that one.”
“Only entitled to one flaw? Why?”
“Because you only have one, and you have to keep the whole thing in balance.”
“Go ahead. I know there’s a punch line. What’s my one flaw?”
“Teagan, I can’t tell you what that one flaw is. What would keep you awake at night?”
She didn’t punch me. We are growing up.
“Is A.J. going to be home anytime soon?”
“Nope. He’s got a shoot, a meeting, and basketball with Robert.”
“How’s Maria feeling?”
“She’s good. Her pregnancy is great. The baby is doing really well. I guess the new doctors have started Grace on some new course of medications, and they’re taking a very whole-life kind of approach. They focus on everything from meds to nutrition to her environment and even massage and aromatherapy stuff. Massage for a short person. I find that one interesting. You also have to wonder how they do the aromatherapy when she isn’t really communicating well enough to tell you what she likes. I guess Maria just reads her body language and assumes she knows what Grace is thinking and feeling. What more can they do?”
“I’m sure Maria knows exactly what Grace is thinking. She’s been inside that baby’s head since the day she was born.”
“True. Maria and Robert are one hundred percent into it and have more hope than they have ever had. I’ll bet that alone is helping Grace too. The more I see in life, the more I’m certain that Mom was right and we draw to ourselves what we project. Oh, and I forgot to tell you, Maria and Troya have become big email buddies.”
“How did that happen?”
“I was talking to Troya about all the stuff that Maria and Robert are doing and learning. He’s in school and working with some medical people. I’d be surprised if he doesn’t end up becoming a physician’s assistant. I don’t think he is interested in being a doctor. Anyway, Troya was really interested in the approach for her little one. Now they are exchanging information via email. I don’t think they’ve gotten the girls together yet, but who knows? I think it is a great support system for the two of them.”
“Yay, you.”
“I really didn’t have anything to do with it, but I’m glad they are in contact.”
“So, back to what we were talking about.”
“You?”
“Not me, dingleberry, Sinead and Howard.”
“Right. I thought we’d pretty much covered that.”
“What do you think Mom and Dad are going to say?”
“That they love her dearly, a baby is always good news, and they are excited to become grandparents again.” I shrugged. “But I’m not completely stupid. There’s going to be a reaction. Sinead is the first of us who is having a baby without the benefit of marriage.”
“Cara, you sound like Grandma.” Teagan took a deep breath. “You know, if this had happened a year ago, I’d have freaked the hell out on Sinead. I’d have been convinced that things would be, well, let’s just say dramatic.”
I cut her off. “We are not going to say anything negative about a baby. That’s bringing all kinds of bad luck, never mind that it would make us sound like complete jerks. A baby is always a good thing. Still, I think if any of us have changed, it is Mom who has changed in the last year or so, not you.”
“I don’t think Mom has changed at all.”
“Yeah. You know what she always said when we were in high school. That thing about how smart your parents get while you are away at college. Maybe it’s us and not Mom. Maybe we are the ones who are changing. But Mom seems to have changed too. She just seems lighter, somehow. She’s always been fun and funny and all that, but she just seems to be enjoying life more. I never, ever thought Mom would get her hair colored and be running around in those cute little outfits. She’s gotten all Teagan-a-fied.”
The look on Teagan’s face was priceless. She wasn’t sure if s
he was supposed to be complimented or insulted.
“Okay, maybe not Teagan-a-fied. Maybe Teagan-ish. No, Mom’s gone Teagan lite.”
I could see the wheels turning. She decided to ignore me, an approach she has been using for as long as I can remember.
“Cara, I would never say anything to Sinead, but I’m a little worried about all this. I really don’t think Sinead’s going to get the response she expects from Mom and Dad. She’s like you. She just figures that anything and everything an O’Flynn does — well, short of murder — Mom and Dad are going to accept. I’m not so sure.”
“You know how Mom and Daddy are. They’re going to be concerned for Sinead. They’ll worry that she’s young and her relationship with Howard is a new one. People change a lot from college days to retirement, but Mom and Daddy have been together since dinosaurs roamed the Earth, and they’re still happy, so we know it can be done.”
“I think they’ll be happy for a new grandchild. I think they’ll be supportive of Howard no matter how things work out. Mom always says, ‘You must have thought enough of him to be in a relationship with him at some point,’ when people bitch about past relationships or people they have slept with or whatever. Except for that one guy you dated who was bordering on abusive, I don’t remember Mom and Dad ever saying anything negative about any of the people any of their kids have been involved with.”
I might have snapped a little. “What did she say about him? She never said anything to me.”
“She really didn’t say much. She was worried about you. Asked me to keep an eye on things. She said that she had faith that God would protect you until you were smart enough to protect yourself, because it hadn’t gotten too bad. She said if it got any worse, that she and Dad would get involved, and nobody wanted that.”
“When was this?”
“I don’t know. About a week before you sent him packing.”
“Must have been right before we had the talk.”
“You had a talk?”
“Basically Mom told me that I needed to respect myself enough to demand the best for myself.”
“Good advice, as always.”
“So, if you are having such a hard time with Jessie, maybe it is time for you to take that advice.”
The Tea Series Page 6
