“They’re not stupid.”
“Exactly my point. Think of Jessie as a beautiful pair of bright red five inch heels.”
“More words, Cara.”
“You love him. You love the way he looks. You love the way he feels. It’s all good.”
“Okay.”
“One day you’re wearing them, and there’s a little rock on the sidewalk — a rock named Joy — and you roll your ankle.”
“Not a great analogy, but continue.”
“Your ankle hurts. You aren’t sure if it’s sprained or broken. It’s blowin’ up. You aren’t sure if you can walk on it. If you should walk on it. Don’t you think that you should test the ankle a bit before you slap your five inch heels on and go parading around? Don’t you think you should check to see if your ankle is broken? If you need a doctor? If you can wear five inch heels again? Are you sure you want to go rushing right back to them, or maybe you should wait a little while to make sure your ankle is strong enough to bear the weight. The weight of an ex-girlfriend that might or might not be crazy. A baby. A life that’s completely different than any life you have ever even thought about.”
“I hate you.”
“Because you think I’m right?”
“No, dingleberry, because you are right. When did this happen? When did you become the smarter, more reasonable sister? That doesn’t fit us at all, Cara. I’m the smart sister. You know that. You are the one that does stupid stuff, like believe that you’re gonna win the lottery.”
“I am going to win the lottery.”
“And write eulogies for a living.”
“You can make fun of that all you want, but taking that time off to reset my brain is what I needed at the time. I never thought that I was going to be a eulogy entrepreneur. I thought I could pay a few bills until I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. If I hadn’t slowed down to do that, I never would have met Adeline, and I wouldn’t have the job I have now, which I love. It all worked out. It always does.”
“Maybe for you.”
“Just because things don’t work the way you want them to, doesn’t mean that they don’t work the way that they’re supposed to, Teagan.”
“I know. So maybe Jessie and I just aren’t meant to be.”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“I know.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to go home. I’m going to take a shower and wash my hair. I’m going to do my nails. I’m going to do my eyebrows. I may even add in a few lash extensions. I’ve cried so much in the last few days my eyelashes look terrible. I’m gonna pamper myself like I haven’t done in weeks and weeks. Then I’m gonna take a sleep aid, and I’m going to sleep until I wake up. No alarm clock. I’m gonna turn my phone off and everything.”
“Let Mom know.”
“I will. I know she’s worried. She keeps calling me to ask me things that she already knows the answer to, just so she can judge from my voice if I’m okay.”
“She loves you. I do too, you know.”
“I know.”
“You can stay here. Pamper yourself with all the gunk you’ve given me over the years that just kind of sits there.”
“You let it just sit there? What about the cream? That last one? Please tell me you’re actually using it.”
“I checked online. They said to put it in the fridge. I’ll either use it, or A.J. will eat it.”
“It’s way too expensive for A.J. to eat.”
“You want it?”
“I have my own. I’m going home. Thanks, Cara.”
“You’re welcome. Actually, thank you. If you hadn’t come over here, I wouldn’t have gotten any sleep at all. I was worried. You don’t normally hang up on me and everything. I feel better now.”
“Me, too.”
Suzi enjoyed her coffee date with Todd. They weren’t gone long, but she was all smiles when she came to pick up Evelyn.
A.J. texted that he was going to be at the bar for a while. He ran into somebody that he knew.
I took a long bath. Lots of smelly good stuff. Deep conditioned my hair, then washed it so that it wouldn’t be flat to my head.
Took a page out of Teagan’s book and did the whole pampering thing. My version anyway. My version is a little more fast track than Teagan’s, but it leaves me with polish in the right places and everything important shaved or waxed or buffed.
When A.J. came walking in the door, I was wearing evening wear: a long, sheer gown in baby pink with a matching robe that’s actually more like a big scarf with two holes for your arms. It’s gorgeous.
I had tightlined my eyes, my new obsession, and put on a little BB cream and lip balm and, of course, his favorite perfume.
His smile was infectious.
“I gotta shower. I’ll be back in four minutes. Don’t go anywhere.”
“What would I do looking like this?”
“I’ve got a couple of new ideas.”
While I tried to figure out exactly what that meant and just how much A.J. had had to drink, he took a quick shower and came back smelling wonderful with a smile on his face and a towel hanging low on his hips.
What’s with me and my heightened sense of smell lately? It’s like I notice when I didn’t really pay attention before.
Things were definitely looking better than they had just a few hours ago.
SEVEN
“OKAY, DINGLEBERRY. I did what you said.”
“Good morning to you, too. Nice of you to call before the sun even came up. What’s going on, and what do you think I said as opposed to what I probably actually did say?”
“You said I need to be true to myself, and I need to make a decision that’s best for me. That the rest will work out the way it’s supposed to.”
“I said that? I’m really smart.”
“Well, I had to interject the smart part. Mostly you tried really hard not to say anything, but I knew what you meant when you didn’t say what you wanted to say but couldn’t say because you were trying so hard not to be you.”
“Well, as long as we’re clear.”
“Exactly.”
“So did you decide?”
“Yes.”
“Teagan, don’t be a jerk. What did you decide?”
“I decided that I’m going to walk slowly down this path and see where it leads.”
“That sounds like something I said.”
“See? You just didn’t say it in a way that any normal human being would catch that that’s what you meant. That’s why I had to infuse the smart part.”
“I thought you injected.”
“Inject enough and you end up with infused, dingleberry. Besides, it was interject. What do you think?”
“I think that it’s a good decision. Do you have a plan, or are you just going to put one foot in front of the other, slowly, and see where you end up?”
“I talked to Jessie. Pretty much all night. Again.”
“That’s why you’re so discombobulated. No sleep.”
“Actually, I think I’m making more sense than I have made since all this started.”
“It’s subjective. Continue.”
“I talked to Jessie. We decided that what we’re going to do is try really hard to be supportive of Joy and the baby. We’re not going to create an adversarial situation. We’re going to do what’s best for the baby, and because the baby is so young, we can pretty much assume that right now what’s best for the baby is doing what’s best for Joy.”
“That sounds good. Mature. Positive.”
“Yep.”
“And Jessie thinks this is going to be okay for him?”
“Yep.”
“I assume you guys haven’t talked to Joy yet.”
“We’re going to meet with her today.”
“We? Does she know that?”
“She will when Jessie talks to her.”
“She might not jump on this bandwagon immediately, you know.”
&
nbsp; “I know. Jump on this bandwagon? Really, dingleberry?”
“I talked to Mom yesterday. More and more of the stuff she says comes out of my mouth these days.”
“That’s not good, Cara. You already sound like you’re eighty.”
“After all the help I have given you, this is how you talk to me?”
“Yeah, pretty much. So, the basic reason I called was to thank you for smacking me around.”
“I didn’t smack you around. I barely said anything.”
“You just want to be able to pull that card if everything goes sideways. If it does, but I don’t think it will, I fully understand that this is a decision I made and you are not responsible or liable, dingleberry.”
“Yeah, that’s what you said about your hair when we did highlights ourselves when you were in high school.”
“You put a big ol’ glop of bleach in one spot on the back, and I ended up with a bright orange stripe down the back of my head!”
“Yes, true, but you’re the glamorous one. You said you knew how to do it, and you said that it was all on you. You said that you were going to give me such good instruction that I couldn’t possibly screw it up.”
“It was all on me! All over me. I looked like a calico cat with mange by the time we were done.”
“Funny. True, but funny. Teagan, I’m glad you made a decision to move a little more slowly, and I am really praying that everything works out the way you want it to.”
“It will.”
“I hope so.”
“What’s up with you? You’re this pathologically, pathetically, perversely, and sometimes prophetically positive person. Optimistic to a fault. A big fault. Like a nine point six fault. And all of the sudden, you don’t sound very excited about the fact that the man I love, my soul mate and I, are gonna work this out.”
“You’ve just done a bit of flip-flopping, and I’m worried. I think that’s normal under the circumstances, don’t you?”
“Probably.”
“Teagan, I’ve known you your whole life, and when you decide to do something, God Himself wouldn’t stand in your way.”
“Exactly, so what’s your problem?”
“I just feel like I should remind you that you aren’t the only one involved in this. You can give it one hundred percent, but if Jessie and Joy don’t cooperate, your one hundred percent can’t do it all.”
“You’re right, but I think we’re okay.”
“I’m glad. Is there anything I can do?”
“No. I think we’ve got it. Thanks for everything.”
“See you Sunday, if not sooner.”
“Oh, that’s right. Dinner at the house. Mom said they’re celebrating several things. You have any ideas?”
“I know that Troya has an announcement to make about the baby.”
“Are they making it official? Adopting?”
“Unfortunately, no. They are telling everybody that they have found her a forever family, but it’s not them. Bring Kleenex. We’re gonna need it.”
“I can’t imagine how hard that will be on her.”
“Sinead thinks Mom is going to make the official announcement about her being pregnant.”
“A little late for that. Everybody knows.”
“Yeah, well Sinead is having a heart attack because she thinks that Seamus is going to go all Seamus and demand that we stop paying for Sinead’s extra expenses since she was spending her time in extracurricular activities he didn’t outline for her.”
“How is it any of Seamus’s business if Sinead has sex with her boyfriend?”
“We’re talking Seamus.”
“Right. Sorry. Lost my mind there for a minute. I forgot that he runs the universe and everything in it.”
“Or at least he thinks he does. Can you imagine being his teenaged daughter?”
“Don’t go there, Cara. I’m stressed enough.”
“Sorry.”
“Anything else that we’re going to be celebrating?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Okay. Talk to you later. And, Cara?”
“Hmm?”
“All kidding aside. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
I got a little work done. More than a little, actually. I also got some scrubbing done. Got the oven looking like new. I went through my closet and picked out some clothes that I once thought were really cute — but now know better — and donated them. It’s not that they wouldn’t be cute on someone else; it’s that my style has changed. Updated. Seems weird that someone my age would have to update their wardrobe. Not that I’ve ever really had a wardrobe. Not like Teagan, anyway. I always thought of my wardrobe more like my clothes hanging in a closet. If it was clean and didn’t look totally stupid, I was good.
I met A.J. in Old Town, and we went across the street for food at the diner. The server that hated me — especially when I kind of intimated that I had my girly bits pierced — was actually very nice to me.
A.J. told me when we were walking back across the street that her change in attitude was twofold. He’d made it quite clear that with or without a ring, he and I were pretty much married. She was also now involved with a guy, and they were talking about having a baby.
That was quick.
Or maybe I’m just slow.
On my way home from Old Town, I stopped at Mom and Daddy’s house. We had a nice cup of tea. Mom wouldn’t tell me anything about Sunday, so I didn’t tell her anything about Teagan and Jessie or Sinead. I know that sounds very fifth grade, but it was actually kind of fun, and we laughed hysterically trying to get the other one to spill.
I helped Daddy put a net over the fig tree. He says that the birds are getting more fruit than he is. If he can’t get them under control, he’s just going to take the tree out.
I’ve never had a fig.
I don’t see a fig feast in my future.
Daddy has put a lot of effort into that tree. He explained it all to me once, something about figs liking dry climates and Florida’s humidity not being the best environment for them. It would be a shame for him to lose the tree now.
When I got back home, Teagan was sitting on the steps talking to my neighbor.
She didn’t look as bad as the last few times I’d seen her, but she didn’t look like a happy camper either.
She excused herself from the conversation, didn’t even give me a chance to say hello to my neighbor, and all but pushed me into the apartment.
“This isn’t going to work.”
“What isn’t going to work? By the way, hello, Teagan.”
“I tried to be nice to that crazy woman, and Jessie’s right. She’s crazy.”
“What happened?”
“I just told you.”
“Okay, not to be a jerk, but you’re the one that’s being crazy now. What happened, Teagan?”
“Jessie and I called and asked her if we could sit down and have a meeting. We told her that the only thing we wanted was what was best for the baby. She hung up.”
“What did you expect?”
“What? Why are you always taking her side?”
“Again, I’m not taking sides, but you need to stop and think about what you’re doing and saying. If you were a single mother that had a really rough start in life and someone that you were told is all but perfect started calling you and said all she wanted was to make your child’s life better, wouldn’t you assume that what she was saying was that she wanted to take your kid?”
“I don’t want to take the baby.”
“How does she know that?”
“Okay, that’s a pretty good point.”
“Just my opinion, but you need to back out of it and let Jessie handle the negotiations, at least at first.”
“That’s not going to work for me.”
“Why?”
“We don’t want to give her the impression that she has a chance with him.”
“Then all he has to do is say that she doesn’t have a chance.”
“You know what I mean.”
“This is where that whole trust thing comes in. Either you trust him, or you don’t. He’s a grown man, Teagan. He should be able to deal with this woman on his own, without you there to make sure he does it the right way.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“Sure it is.”
“Okay, maybe there’s a little bit of that, but I think that it’s normal considering the situation.”
“I’m sure it’s normal. Or justifiable. Or understandable. But is it useful?”
“Here we go, back to mature Cara. What do you mean?”
“I mean that you’re going to be involved with this woman for the rest of your life. Do you really want the first messages that you send her to be that you don’t trust Jessie to be able to keep his hands off of her?”
“You know that isn’t what this is about. I trust Jessie. I don’t trust her.”
“If you really trust Jessie, you don’t have to trust her.”
“I know you’re right, but it isn’t that easy.”
“None of this is going to be easy, Teagan. It will get easier as time goes on, but it’s never going to be easy.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Okay, look at it this way. Both extremes. If things suck like they do now for the next twenty years, what’s that going to do to you and Jessie? And what if they go perfectly? You have nice weekly visits. Everything runs smoothly. She’s like a daughter to you. How many moments in her life is she going to go to her mother when you would have wanted her to come to you? How are you going to feel when she gets married? Jessie and her mother are in a family picture at her wedding, and after all the work you’ve put into it, the comments are going to be that Jessie and this woman raised a lovely daughter. You’re going to be standing there with the same look on your face that you have right now.”
“I can’t worry about what’s going to happen twenty years down the road, Cara. For all we know, I’ll be dead by then.”
“That’s your solution? To be dead? I’ve never lived through this stuff, but I think that if it were me, the conversation I’d be having in my head would be all about how I have to make peace with all of this now, before I move any further down the road. If I can’t make peace with it now, my whole life would be one resentment or battle or misunderstanding after the next. It would be moments of pleasure in a sea of distrust and minor offenses and major hurts.”
The Tea Series Page 69
