I stood, my knees felt like they kept knocking together as I stumbled down stairs. I made it to the side of the house where bushes and greenery grew in abundance. I emptied my stomach and, physically unsteadied, fell back onto adjoining wall. The hot and sweaty back of my neck cooled against the stone.
“I certainly hope you are done with the theatrics now,” Aradia said above me. I kept my eyes shut as I thought about that.
“I certainly hope you are done with the surprises now.”
I mocked her tone. She sounded displeased, but I doubt her reaction would be graceful if her entire world was turned upside down. My mother had been a distant memory to me. She had only been a womb to hold me until the caring arms of my father embraced me. But I didn’t really remember my real father either. I had memories of deranged rouge instead.
“I don’t appreciate your tone young lady. We have so much more to talk about.”
“You had sex with my father, ruined his life, so you could have me,” I said.
I was indirectly a part of that. But it was because of me a man’s life had been ruined. All because of her “great” plans to “bridge our worlds.” It made no sense.
“Why did you do this?”
I leaned against the wall and opened my eyes to look at her. I wiped the back of my hand across my lips. The moonlight silvered the endless lawn and gravel driveway. Aradia stood looking down at me.
“Because I am willing to do whatever it takes to see my plans come true. And I have very big plans.”
“Plans that include me.”
I wasn’t really asking. Her smile was enough of an answer for me. Calculated and determined. She was false.
“But of course.”
****
Things took a change from bad to worse after that night. Now I was moved out of my small little room to a larger, more extravagate room. The larger room made being here feel more real. It was no longer a temporary stay. The doors didn’t disappear, but they remained locked. I knew what she was doing. She was trying to make more comfortable, but still remind me I wasn’t here of my own free will. It had been only a day since she told me that I was her daughter. I was still trying to get my head around it.
At least in this new room I had a window. It was large like Hunter’s had been, though this room was a lot lighter in color. The furniture was all white with gold lining. It seemed too delicate to me. The bed was a canopy with a white comforter and white duster. I thought it was pretentious. I went over everything Aradia had said the night before at least hundred times. Things weren’t adding up to me.
It seemed like she thought that wolves were below her, yet she was married to one? She didn’t seem to undermine or disrespect Jackson when he was in the same room. But she acknowledged Jackson only passing though. When I first met them, it seemed like she shared something with him, but now it seemed like he was her muscle. I didn’t think she saw me as gift, but an obligation. Her words kept repeating in my head, I had to make sacrifices.
There were too many unknowns and I was still too fresh in the game to know what her so called plans are. I knew deep down that I had to be very careful. The stakes were high, and Aradia felt like a snake to me. If she bit, she would strike hard and fast. And the poison was sure to work fast. I had no doubts about that. She wasn’t here to play my adoring mother. She had lost her pawn and now she had it back.
I was scared of the lengths she would be willing to keep me here.
I still had no idea if they had Hunter. And if they had him –my stomach hollowed out and my knees went weak at the thought. I was grateful that I was sitting already. I had to find out about Hunter. If they didn’t have him, my plans for escape could begin. I suppose they could lie, my nose and other senses were good, but I wasn’t sure I’d be able to detect a lie.
I sat quietly in my room. The day was slowly passing, yet I was left alone. I wasn’t sure if I was happy about that or annoyed. Was I so easily forgotten? I certainly couldn’t forget she had told me I was her daughter. That she was my mother.
I had a mother?
I mean I always knew I physically had a mother. I looked down at my hands wondering what other traits I got from her other than her magic. It felt all so unnatural to think that I came from her. That she had carried me for nine months. But that was it, she had only carried me for nine months.
None of these things made me feel better. I knew what I had to do. I would have to play along with their game. If I asked about Hunter, about whether they had him or not, they could lie to me. And I didn’t trust my senses enough to know if they were lying or not. They would tell me. If they said nothing even if I acted up then I knew he was safe. If they tried to use him against me, then I would do everything I could to save him.
As if my decision to play along summoned Aradia, she opened the double doors to the room. I wanted to roll my eyes at the grand entrance. I remained seated and watched her. Aradia’s eyes skimmed over my body and I watched her purse her lips.
“You need to change your clothes. It’s time to move on.”
I had been clinging to these clothes because they smelled like home. They smelled like Hunter. Unfortunately they were becoming pretty rank on me. I tried my best to wash them earlier in my new room, but I was failed miserably. I knew for a fact I would never be able to survive in a century without a washer and drier.
“Change your clothes, then knock at the door. I will be waiting.” She turned on her heel and walked back out the doors. She commanded attention easily, and while I was use to Alphas doing this, she rubbed me the wrong way. I wanted to rebel against her orders and knock on the door still wearing the clothes I had on. Instead I swallowed the urge. I had to think about Hunter. I took in a deep breath. I searched for my wolf hoping to find strength in her, but she had been so distant lately. It was just like when I lived with the Lupen pack. She wasn’t really there.
I stood and repeated my mantra: I will play along. It was all I could do. I looked over at the wardrobe in the room dread pooled in my gut. Inside revealed summer looking dresses, shorter skirts. I tried to find the least offensive dress, that wasn’t patterned with a loud design. It took a bit of time, but I knew this is what I had to do.
Play along.
Aradia opened the door and looked me up and down. I could tell the dress I picked wasn’t one she favored, but she had gotten what she wanted.
“Come with me. We’ll begin your training.”
Aradia strutted off and I followed after. I didn’t like the idea of training, but I would do as she asked until I could get some trust built. That was what this all about, trust.
She took me down the stairs to the living room which I had only seen from afar. We didn’t stay long inside the room she moved forward. We headed into a hallway with more rooms that were blocked from view by closed doors. Aradia stopped at what seemed like a random one. She whispered something under her breath. The door opened.
Aradia motioned me in and I headed through the door. I swallowed hard. I didn’t trust her, and my fear had me on high alert. I didn’t know if this was some cruel and elaborate plan where she would push me into the basement and leave me. When I didn’t feel her hand between my shoulder blades, I continued down. The old wood creaked as we descended. I could hear her right behind me.
At the bottom of the stairs I looked around the room. It was dark down here, old gym mats were placed randomly. There were different stations. It wasn’t much like a gym though. Other than the mats, there was no other equipment. There was a table with supplies stacked atop it, but it was too far for me to make out those items.
There were a couple other people down here. I looked over at one of the groups. My heart stopped in my chest. Anger I didn’t know existed in me boiled. She was standing a ways off, but even in side profile, I could never forget her. I moved on instincts and strode towards her. I didn’t even realize a growl was rumbling deep in my throat. She turned to look at me her eyes growing wide.
“What did y
ou do to me?”
I shoved her backwards. She regained her footing and stood with her head held high.
“What my Leader asked of me,” she sneered back. I looked at the grandchild of the witch who was supposed to bind my powers all those months ago. Fear iced my veins. She knew all this time. She had her spies on the search for me and she found me almost months ago…until I disappeared again into the Lowe pack.
“Patricia, right?” I jeered. Her baby pink lips spread to a smile. She was proud of herself.
I moved forward, my instincts overtaking reason. My only thought was how she ruined everything. She recognized me for what I was. I jumped at her. She moved away with a screech. I met her step for step. She’d step back, I’d step forward. The others in the room watched us but made no move to help.
Patricia’s brown eyes widened as fear reflected in her stance and face. She was all over the place, her body wasn’t ready to run nor was it ready to fight. My wolf was so close to the surface, her instincts were becoming mine. She knew prey. This was a perfect, an easy target, though even through my rage I realized I should stop. She wasn’t the one who had sealed my fate.
“Calm down you crazy bitch! I wish I hadn’t stopped Luce from binding your powers so Aradia could find you.”
She kept glancing over at Aradia as if waiting for her to stop me, but Aradia was on the other side of the room watching the exchange with mild interest.
Shock won over the rage for all of ten seconds before I saw red bleed from the edges of my visions. So Aradia could still find you. Did that mean? It couldn’t possibly mean she knew where I was all this time. Could it? My anger was directed at someone else this time. I felt my wolf there. She was growing braver in this new world as it all came together for me.
Patricia had stopped the binding. And Aradia had lied to me! She had told me that she couldn’t find her child before now. Patricia made it sound like Aradia could always track me because of my powers. If I understood Patricia correctly, Aradia could find me because of my powers being active. So she had to have known where I was. Why did she wait so long? I wanted answers. I wanted to know what craziness I was in the middle of.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to take my anger out on Aradia. I wasn’t stupid and I was starting to understand the static feeling. My power. But it was difficult yet to understand whose power were whose. Aradia was the leader of this Coven, so she had to be strong. I would wait. Until then I, needed an outlet.
I looked at Patricia again. My wolf demanded blood. I could practically see her front paws spread apart and her head down low between them. Growls and snarls slipped through bared teeth. The thought jarred me. The want for Patricia’s blood sickened me, and I had to calm down.
I breathed in, reminding myself that even if I was angry, I had figured out a small piece of this puzzle. Aradia had lied. She could have found me anytime she wanted to. I needed to get more information, and the only way to do that was to figure out why she wanted me. If I could figure that out then maybe I could find a way for her to trust me. I knew that she would never trust me as I was now. Especially not since I showed my true colors and almost ripped this girl apart because she had indirectly had brought me here.
I straightened my back, which had arched aggressively, and I tried to rein in my wolf. It was the strongest she had ever been on our own without Hunter being around. I breathed in and I could taste Patricia’s terror. It was sweet against my tongue and I wanted to savor it. I turned away from her, the others that had moved away all took another step back.
I looked up at them, not understanding, but my eyes collided with a malevolent smile on Aradia’s face. She looked pleased. Her hands were on her hips. She looked me over like a prize. I felt like I had just dug myself deeper into this trap.
I shook off the bleed through of feeling from my wolf. When my eyes shifted back, I realized how far I had gone. It was a slight flickering. The room darkened back to its original state, and I felt my wolf retreat.
“Shall we begin?” Aradia’s voice was soft. She sounded entranced by what she had just witnessed but I felt dread pull my gut down. But I straightened my spine, I needed to learn.
I nodded.
Aradia explained to the other few that were downstairs that she was going to be teaching me the basics today and that they needed to keep to their side with their more advance practices. Immediately I felt the sting of the isolation. Patricia skirted around us as we moved closer. She kept her eyes on me. I didn’t react. I had already revealed too much.
Aradia came in front of me and again and sized me up. My wolf had been present, but now it felt like something was pushing it back, the space becoming crowded and uncomfortable. Something else was moving itself forward as if answering her glares. I saw a small smile spread across Aradia’s face.
“Equal parts I see. Well if we can bring out the wolf, surely we can bring out the witch,” Aradia said. She acted instantly, not even give me a moment to understand what she meant.
Aradia attacked by flinging a ball of energy at me. She didn’t blink or warn. I tried to jump out of the way, but it hit me squarely in the shoulder and I went spinning to the ground. I landed on my stomach, the wind knocked out of me. All my air rushed from lungs too quickly, causing me to cough and my vision to blur for a second.
One thought ran through my head.
Attack.
I stood up and faced my mother. She looked at me, bored as ever. I wasn’t sure what prompted me to do it, but I bared my teeth at her and, instead of running forward, I felt that energy surge outward. Nothing happened, so far as I could see, but I felt it there right at the edges.
It was going to pull me apart at the seams. Aradia’s smile spread revealing her pearly whites. There was nothing good about that smile. My anger started to fade with my disgust. This is what she was trying to do. Push me to the point so that I would fight back.
I had to learn to control my powers, and I had to learn how to restrain myself. I tried to pull it back, to contain it, but it was unstable. It felt slippery in my mind almost. Too big to hold in my metaphorical hands. A new type of fear started to take over. The fear of complete and utter loss of control.
Aradia whispered a few words and I was pushed back against the wall. An invisible force was pressing on my body. It was steady and didn’t let up. It kept pushing and pushing. The air was rushing from my lungs, I was deflating, and then I was suffocating under the pressure. The foreign energy inside of me was there, pushing against my skin trying to escape. My wolf was howling, but she was trapped deep down. There was nothing I could do. My vision started to blacken around the edges.
The force disappeared instantly. I fell to my knees. I gasped. I looked up at Aradia she was standing with her legs apart. She seemed to be enjoying this way too much.
I stood and waited for her to attack me again.
This was how the rest of the day went with her practically beating me to a pulp until she finally stopped. She took me back to my room and told me I did well.
It didn’t feel that way at all.
Chapter 25 — It’s Expected of You
Almost three weeks of this hell. She would take me to the basement, train me and leave me more bruised then when I went down. But I was learning. I was getting better. The power was somehow being held back, and she was the one doing it. But I practiced the words and motions I saw Aradia make. I would test the results of my actions in the privacy of my room. It was strange though, while the power felt like it came from inside of me, it seemed to have limits. I wondered how Aradia and stretched their power to last so long.
Aradia didn’t tell me much about much of anything. She would attack and I had progressed enough to break through her hold. Once, I almost managed to deflect one of her spells. I tirelessly in my room and allowed my powers to come out more often. It was strange to start feeling reliant on something I had always hated. I wanted to suppress this part of me as much as I could since I had found out about it. Now I had to embrac
ing it. I was learning about it.
At first my wolf felt oppressed by my witch side. I thought about it one night, allowing both sides to speak up. My witch side didn’t have a physical form, though. Unlike my wolf. So, I tried to fix that. Most nights, I sat and thought of them. Tried to understand them. To coordinate them. Then one night I got curious. Maybe if I didn’t keep them separate there wouldn’t be a problem.
I let the wall in my head between them crumble. My wolf ran into the magic and reveled in it. I could see it in my head. The magic and it wrapped around her, fused into her fur. I felt it run through my body.
It felt like peace.
That was almost a week ago and I found that my magic was easier to control with my wolf helping me. She moved it around like a playmate, and it responded to her. It was a strange sensation, but for the first time I held something back when sparring with Aradia. She told me all the time how she wanted to prove witches and wolves could work together, yet I had only seen wolves witches segregated here. They were always separate. The only time I saw the two races fraternizing was at dinner with Jackson and Aradia.
Dinners with them were uncomfortable at best. Aradia tried to ask me about my past and I avoided her questions, staring instead at my food. I had made the mistake of asking her about my father. She immediately attacked me and told me that he was an ungrateful bastard who had been the one to ruin everything. Dinner was over after that.
I was restless I wanted out of this room. I wanted out of this house. My urge to feel the outside again was overpowering. I ended up sleeping next to the window in my room, but it wasn’t enough. I was starved for the earth beneath my feet, the wind in my hair. Almost as much as I was starved for the touch of a certain wolf.
Every night I dreamt of him. He was always there either in wolf form or his human form. Sometimes when he was in his human form he would ask me where I was. I didn’t ever answer him just gave him a sad smile and tried to enjoy the dream. Even here I wanted to protect him.
Every time I woke up though I remembered that he probably knew about me now. But it was painfully obvious to me now they didn’t have Hunter. When I didn’t comply, and there were a few incidents, Aradia had Jackson make me submit. And when that didn’t work one time, Aradia placed a binding spell on me that sucked out any will I had. The spell was incomparably more powerful than the spell that the two warlocks had used on me. She had had said she wanted me to go down to the training room. I had refused. But no matter what, every day I trained and every day the training got worse.
Hexed Hearts Page 29
