Pregnant By My Mother’s Rapist 2
-Written By-
Niki Jilvontae
Copyright © 2017 by True Glory Publications
Published by True Glory Publications
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This novel is a work of fiction. Any resemblances to actual events, real people, living or dead, organizations, establishments or locales are products of the author’s imagination. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are used fictitiously.
Cover Design: Tina Louise
Editor: Tamyra L. Griffin
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Table Of Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Epilogue
Prologue
People say that what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger; and for a very long time I believed that shit. I believed that all of the hell I’d been through served a purpose and in the end, I would come out better and stronger than I went in. I believed that shit up until that moment when my mother said the words that I will never forget. The words that are embedded in my mind and soul… “THAT’S THE NIGGA WHO RAPED ME. YOUR FATHER!”
Those words still haunt my dreams a year and a half later, and remind me of all I lost and all of the signs I ignored. During that time, I lost my dearest uncle and a piece of myself as I held on to a dream that would never come true. It’s just like my brother KJ once said, I couldn’t see the forest for the trees; and that led me to where I’m at now. If I would have just looked pass Anthony’s handsome exterior and listened to everything he said, I could have possibly saved my uncle’s life. However, I was so desperate for love; and my desire to find out who I was and where I came from was so strong that I went out searching for the love I always had, but just didn’t see. I went out into the world and like so many before me, I let a wolf in sheep’s clothing devour me. I let the devil inside of my house, my soul, and my body; and he took any and everything he could from me.
In the year and a half since I found out my father was a rapist and my baby daddy; I lost a piece of Na Na I can never get back. I lost a part of my sanity and the rest of my hope as I slipped down the same rabbit hole of depression my mother must have been in. I mean, now that I’m no longer on the outside looking in, I see how Spicy must have felt. Now that I am the one he stalks and tortures from afar, I understand why it’s easy to hate the one who reminds you of him the most. I understand; however, I will never condone nor participate in that shit no matter how much my heart hurts or how dark my life gets. No, I love my child far too much to let her go through the same hell I went through, struggling to find her identity. I plan to tell her how her life came about and ensure that she knows she isn’t my tragedy, but rather my blessing. I plan to tell her that, as soon as I get out of this cage and can hold her in my arms again. There’s so much I want to say to her and to you all for that matter, but it’s so hard to relive those dark times. It’s hard for me to think about all that happened after I got that dreadful news. It’s hard, but I know I have to do it. I know I have to do this for my child’s sake and for myself, because there is no way I can heal if I don’t.
So, let me go back. Let me swallow this lump in my throat so that I can take you all back to that dark time after my mother finally told me the truth and left me on that floor crying to chase down the demon who haunted her. In this book, I’ll show you how I ended up here; locked behind the walls of a mental hospital away from my family and the beautiful child I brought into this world. I’ll tell you all the whole ugly story; even though it hurts so much when I think about how it’s all my fault.
The pain of my past consumes me even as I sit here now and reflect on it, my scars are so deep. After all that I’ve done, all I ignored, and all I have been through, I still can’t help but to wonder if there are better days ahead. I still can’t help but to hold on to a little bit of hope that all of my suffering has not been in vain. I also hope that once you hear what happened, you will be able to help me find a way to change the patterns of my life and create a better future for my child. I hope so. I just want her life to be everything mine never was; and I hope that the demon who took so much from me will never get his hands on her. I plan to make sure that he doesn’t though, as soon as I can get out of here.
I plan to make him suffer far more than he can imagine. I plan to embed the same hurt and fear in his heart that he has given me. I plan to reverse the curse he put on my family and release myself from the chains his sick ass put me in. I plan to finally be free. So you see, my story is far from over, but rather has just begun; because once I’m released there will be no more peace on the streets of Memphis. So, let’s go back to where we left off. Let’s go back to that day my mother said the words that changed my life. My name is Kaniyah LaShay Wright and this is what happened after I found out I was PREGNANT BY MY MOTHER’S RAPIST…and that sick bastard was MY FATHER!
Chapter 1
“Kaniyah. KANIYAH, KANIYAHHHH. GET UP. COME ON BABY, WAKE UP!” I could hear my mother yell as I fought my way out of the darkness I was in.
I felt like I was sinking into the dark abyss with weights around my ankles as I struggled to open my eyes and lift my head.
“Wha… What Spicy? Where are you?” I asked as I finally got my swollen, tear-filled eyes to open and looked around the room.
When I did that I could see my mother as she crouched down by the garage door with her gun in hand and tears in her eyes. I squinted to focus on her face as my head began to throb and I began to pull my aching body up off of the floor. Blood splatter, anger, and an obvious fear was all over my mother’s face as she looked back at me.
“I’m right here Na, get up and go get yo stuff. I shot that bitch ass nigga. I know I did, but I’m not going to go look for him like some stupid white bitch in the movies. Just go get yo shit so we can get the fuck up out of here. I already checked back there and saw that he went out the bedroom window. I don’t know where the pussy went though, so that means we have to go.” My mama yelled as I stood on wobbly legs and just stared at her face.
I heard her talking and saw her lips move, but I couldn’t get anything to register. The only words I could still hear over everything else and actually comprehend were, “THAT’S THE NIGGA WHO RAPED ME…YOUR FATHER!” That shit had me shell shocked as I stood there and trembled while I wondered why God had been so cruel. I cried and growled as I tried to figure out what I had done to deserve such a horrible fate while my mother shook her head at me. The look she gave me let me know that was no time for me to space out on some psycho shit. Spicy made me see that shit clearer too and snap out of it when she yelled my name again.
“KANIYAHHHH, BABY. I know this hard and all; and we will deal with it later. I PROMISE! Right now though baby, I need yo
u to snap out of that shit and come the fuck on. You don’t know who we’re dealing with Na but I do, and I know this nigga insane. We gotta get back to our side of town baby, and we gotta do it fast. Come on Kaniyah!” My mama yelled as it finally registered in my mind that we were in real danger.
With that in mind I got myself together and before my mother could get out another word out of her mouth, my legs began to move on their own and I sprinted down the hall.
Halfway to the bedroom I looked down and spotted a faint blood trail that led right into the bedroom. That stopped me dead in my tracks and I could hear my heart beat in my ears as I stood there frozen. I couldn’t help but to imagine Anthony, Kenan, or whatever the fuck his name was, waiting on me as soon as I stepped into the door. That thought alone was enough to make me shiver all over as I peeked into the room. I guess my mother could feel the fear I felt at that moment, because she suddenly yelled and brought me out of his spell once again.
“NA NA, MOVE YO ASS BABY. YOU CAN DO IT NA!” Spicy yelled as I looked back and saw her standing in the middle of the hall.
My mother looked fearless as she stood there with her gun in hand ready to kill anything that moved. She looked just like a mother bear ready to die to protect her cub. Seeing her like that, all motherly and shit, gave me the strength I needed to let go of my pain for a second. I swallowed down that lump in my throat and got my legs to stop shaking as I nodded my head at her. After that I turned back around and commanded my body to move. To my surprise the voice in my head that said Anthony was my mother’s rapist and my father, grew quieter at that moment and I was able to move and focus.
I quickly ran into the bedroom as soon as my legs would move without shaking and packed up the shit I had there. As I did that, my mother walked the house with her gun and made sure Anthony hadn’t come back. I grabbed up all my clothes and had them by the door before I went over to Anthony’s stash. He thought I didn’t know he had money and drugs stashed in the wood frame of the bed, but I did and I took it all. I stuffed that shit into the backpack I got out of his closet before I ran over and gathered all of Berry’s stuff. When I was done, I grabbed her off the bed and put her in the bag before I called my mother to help.
“I’m ready Spicy. Come and help me so we can go.” I said as my mother ran down the hall in full stealth mode like fucking G.I. Jane.
I don’t know if it was my nerves or if I was going fucking crazy because seeing my mama like that suddenly caused me to burst out in laughter. I laughed so hard huge crocodile tears ran down my face as my mother ran in, grabbed some bags, and we headed to the door. My mother continued to act like she was on a Navy Seal’s mission as she led me out of the house and to her car. I continued to laugh as I walked behind her while Berry barked in her bag. All of that shit felt surreal at that moment, like I was watching it all unfold from afar. It was like I could hear myself laughing, but the laughter didn’t feel like it was coming from me. Spicy noticed the tone of my laughter and I guess the look on my face too as she helped me into the front seat and told me it would be okay.
“Okay, Na Na. It’s okay baby. I promise.” Spicy said as she slammed the door then ran around the car and got in.
I heard her words as I sat there and continued to laugh, but they didn’t mean shit to me. I couldn’t see how anything would be alright when I had opened the portal to hell. I was carrying around the child of the very man who had given me life. That’s why I couldn’t see how anything would ever be alright again as my mother cranked up the car and sped off while she continued to tell me it would be.
“Haaaa Alright Spicy? It’s gonna be alright? That’s something it will never be again.” I said as I continued to laugh while I rubbed my belly and my tears of laughter slowly turned into tears of sorrow.
I balled and cried so hard my sides began to ache as my mother reached over and rubbed my back while she tried to comfort me.
“I’m so sorry baby. Mama is so sorry. This is all my fault Na Na. I should have told you about Kenan no matter how bad it hurt me to do it. I should have opened up to you and maybe we could have avoided this shit.” My mother said as she stopped for a second, looked like she was in deep thought, then suddenly continued. “I doubt it though, because it seems this was that sick bastard’s mission all the time. He’s gonna pay though baby; I promise you that and YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY! Please just try to calm down.” My mama said as I continued to cry and an intense pressure started in the bottom of my stomach.
I ignored that dull pain as the sorrow in my heart dug deeper and I saw flashes of Anthony in my mind. Suddenly I could feel his hands all over me and smell his breath as his face flashed before my eyes. That caused me to cry harder and reach out for Spicy’s hand as she drove and cried while she cursed.
“Baby please, it’s okay. Mama got you.” Spicy said as I continued to cry and begged her to forgive me for being so fucking hard headed.
It was like I could see all of my fault in the situation as I rode with my mother and that shit pushed me deeper into my misery.
“I’m sorry mama. This my fault. I should have listened to y’all.” I cried as I leaned over and rested my head on my mama’s shoulder and her phone began to ring.
Spicy told me how it wasn’t my fault that I was deceived as I continued to see flashes of Anthony in my mind and she answered her phone for KJ. I caught bits and pieces of their conversation as I leaned back over in my seat and rested my head on the window. I stared out and watched as the world passed me by; and I felt hopeless. I guess my grief and the fatigue from everything that was happening knocked me out after that, because the next thing I knew Spicy’s loud voice yelling woke me up.
“You sick muthafucking bastard, why are you calling this phone? YOU DEAD BITCH. I PROMISE YOU THAT. NEXT TIME I WON’T MISS.” Spicy yelled as I sat up with my heart racing in my chest because I knew she was talking to Anthony.
I felt like I would throw up as she continued to yell and I could hear his voice on the other end of the phone.
“BITCH, AIN’T NO KILLING ME. I WILL GET WHAT IS MINE. I’M GONNA FINISH WHAT I STARTED YEARS AGO, WHETHER YOU WANT ME TO OR NOT. BOTH OF Y’ALL BELONG TO ME AND NOTHING WILL EVER GET IN THE WAY OF THAT. YOU MINE, SHE MINE AND THAT BABY SHE CARRYING IS MINE.” Anthony yelled as the hair on the back of my neck stood up. “Tell Kaniyah daddy loves her and I’ll see her really soon. That’s my word bitch!” Anthony said as my mama yelled over her dead body and he said so be it.
After that Spicy cursed for a few more minutes as I fell back into hysterical tears. I cried and asked God why me until my grief knocked me out again.
The next thing I knew, we were at home and Spicy was helping me out of the car while she begged me to stop crying.
“Come on Na, we home now baby. We safe and your brothers on the way. Come on inside Na Na. Please stop crying baby.” Spicy said as she helped me out of the car, up on to the porch, and into the house.
As she helped me in I heard her stop at the door before she yelled to the niggas outside that we were in beast mode.
“It’s a code black my niggas. Spread the word around the hood. Nobody in and nobody out unless we know who the fuck they are. When my boys get here they will have more info, a picture of the nigga and all that. For now though, y’all just keep yo eyes open because we gonna have to body a nigga.” My mama said and I heard all of the dudes who were shooting dice on the porch next to ours tell her that they had us covered.
I felt a little safer knowing that the goons were on deck, but my body hadn’t gotten that memo. I trembled, shook, and almost fell on my face as I tried to make it to the couch to sit down. It felt like it was a mile away as I walked on wobbly legs with tears still falling from my eyes. I held my belly and breathed a sigh of relief between my tears once I finally made it to the couch and plopped down. I wiped away my tears that were still falling as my mama bust in and began to search the house.
“You just stay right there Na baby and try to calm down. Let me secure
this bitch then we can talk.” My mama said as she rushed past me through the living room and down the hall.
I sat there and concentrated on my breathing while I tried to get my tears and shivers to stop as Spicy searched our house like she was MPD. After a few minutes, I heard my mother sigh and the flick of a lighter before she appeared in the living room door smoking a Newport. I looked up at her as she walked in and the look in her eyes told me that the worst was yet to come.
“Na, we in a fucked up situation for real. Kenan is fucking insane and the only way we will get rid of him is to kill him. I tried to do it once, well twice now, and you see how that turned out. We have to though baby, because that’s the only way we will be safe. He won’t give up Na Na. I’m living proof of that.” My mama said as my curiosity suddenly outweighed my pain.
Suddenly I wanted to know about this demon, the sick bastard who knowingly ruined my life.
“What do you mean mama? Tell me what I don’t know about this all.” I said as I continued to cry and wipe away my tears.
I watched Spicy as she walked over and sat down beside me while she puffed her Newport to a short.
“I mean that this nigga is a lunatic baby, and he always has been.” Spicy said as she hit her cigarette again then sat back on the couch.
I sat back with her and wrapped my hands around my stomach while my tears continued to fall. The shakes and nervousness in my body had subsided at that point, yet my tears continued to fall. I just let then run down my face as I stared at my mama then she turned to look at me.
“Look Na, Kenan was a troubled boy. Smart, smooth and fine but insane. When I first met him he was 15 and I was 11, but I instantly fell in love. He counted on that shit too. He was there for me when I felt like the outcast, he bought me shit, and raised my self-esteem higher than it had ever been. In my eyes back then, Kenan was everything and that’s what he counted on.” My mama said as I watched tears well up in her eyes and then slip down her cheek as she talked.
PREGNANT BY MY MOTHER’S RAPIST 2 Page 1
