The black and white marble floors were intricately carved into a maze of vines, flowers and trees. It must have taken stone cutters a year just to carve the floor for that one hallway. The castle we lived in had 38 hallways just like this one, some longer, some shorter, but all just as grand.
Mazol was in one of them, looking for us. Chances are he was pretty close. He had a way of finding us when we were in trouble. Call it a supernatural sense.
I was only fifteen—just one year older than Henri—and as much as I liked to think of myself as some great hero, there really wasn't much I could do to protect anyone. Not with Mazol's hired men keeping me in line.
I usually resulted to distraction to make the fallings feel better when they couldn't take it anymore, but the best way I knew how to do that was to do a few stupid magic tricks. I'd learned them from Marcus, a tiny man with thick bushy side burns who delivered shale to the castle every Saturday morning.
My usual routine, snapping a wildflower out of the air or pulling a bit of stale bread from Henri's empty pocket, didn't seem like it would help at the moment. Not after what happened to Little Sae.
"Please Evan," she begged, tugging at my hands as if trying to make them work magic. "We could do it. We could run away together."
I didn't know what to tell her; I was bad for her, or at least I would be soon enough. I was a ticking time bomb. Pike never got the chance to tell me what the book said that made him so afraid that night we fell, but I figured it out eventually.
The book told me my future; my destiny was to hurt people. To become the most evil and powerful sapient the world had ever known.
A monster.
Henri didn't know. I hid the book from her, I never wrote that story for her. I never did a lot of things I was going to do. So much changed the night Pike died.
I hugged Henri tight to my side and imagined having real magic. Sapience. That's what it's called—at least that's what the book calls it. In my mind, it was easy. Just wave my hand in the air and we were both gone.
With sapience, even the jungle wouldn't stop us. I could make a new world just by thinking it. My imagination would become reality.
But having sapience would prove the book was right about me. I shuddered and pushed the thought from my mind.
Henri started crying louder—tears soaked my shirt where she lay against my chest. Through her sobbing, her body shivered like a cornered mouse. I breathed deep and wrapped my arms around her tighter, trying to think of a way to convince my uncle to punish me instead of her.
Henri had been in far worse trouble before, but this time was different. I couldn't blame her for crying. Not on a day like this. But I still hoped we could hide long enough that it would all blow over.
"Shhh," I whispered. "They'll hear you."
Didn't Mazol care at all about Little Sae? Didn't he care that we might all be scared after what happened to her? The floor vibrated from the sound of voices and the pounding of feet in the hall. She ran out of air and filled her lungs with a gasp.
"I couldn't help eating it," she blurted out.
"Shhh. I know."
"I'm so hungry." She twisted the black anklet on her right leg nervously. She had come to Daemanhur with one, just like all the other fallings. It was impossible to remove, but somehow, it grew larger as the fallings got older.
"I'm hungry too. We're all hungry."
"But it hurts. It hurts so bad."
There was nothing to say to that. The hunger did hurt. Sometimes we ate grass or tree bark just to make the pain go away for a little while, even though we knew it only made it worse later.
It was my fault. I gave her the food. I was trying to distract her from Little Sae. Henri was the one who found her body. I hoped Mazol would understand. I would tell him Henri didn't know the food was stolen.
"Just keep telling yourself the hunger's only in your head, remember?" I said.
"I don't know if I can."
Someone in the hall flung open a nearby door; it crashed into the wall. Dust floated down from the ceiling into my eyes and made them sting.
"They're almost here," Henri whispered, her voice breaking. "They're going to find us."
I looked at her blankly, at a loss for how to help.
"Please, Evan. I know you can do it. Make us disappear."
Why did she keep saying that? Did she think there was some trick I'd never shown her?—like those traveling magician's acts we used to watch before Pike died, before everything went wrong? Or did she know about the real thing?
sapience.
Real sapience.
For a moment my heart beat faster—sapience would have given me the power to keep Little Sae from dying. I could have saved Pike the night we fell from the tower.
I shook my head.
That wasn't how it would go. I would use the power to hurt people. If I discovered I really was a sapient, it would mean the book was right about me. It would mean I had finally turned into the monster.
"Take us where it's safe," she whispered.
"Nowhere is safe," I snapped and immediately felt guilty about losing my temper. Henri didn't know about the book. I couldn't blame her for not knowing the truth about me.
"Far away," she insisted. "There must be somewhere far away from here."
"We'd have to cross the jungles."
"Not if you made us disappear."
"You're not making any sense." I turned away from her, hoping she would drop the subject.
"I believe in you Evan. I always have."
"Believe in me?" I turned back to her.
"You can save us."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"sapience."
She said it so quietly her voice was almost drown out by the thudding inside my head.
"What did you say?"
"sapience," she repeated, so quietly it came out as barely more than a hiss. "I know about it."
I had to stop myself from asking her to say it again; I'd never heard her say the word before. I'd never ever said the word out loud myself. I dared not saying it, hoping if I didn't use the word it might not be true.
I felt a war going on inside me. The monster wanted sapience to be real, then it could break free of me. Control me. Make me something terrible. I told the monster to leave me alone, it wasn't real. It was all in my head.
Henri must know what I did with magic, the tricks and games, were just illusions. I decided it was her desperation talking. She was just delirious with fear.
"Henri, I can't..."
Talking was so hard, I didn't want to waste breath arguing. It felt like hands were wrapped around my neck.
"Will you try?"
"It's just tricks Henri. It's not real. I can't do real... sapience." The monster called me a liar, but I ignored it.
I suddenly felt guilty talking about sapience so openly; like saying the words out loud made them more real. Like I was giving in.
"It is real."
"Stop saying that."
"I've always believed it's real." She was whispering, but it felt like she was shouting.
I tried to dismiss her, to say, "That's crazy," but I don't think anything came out. I felt like I was fighting for my life, and I was losing.
But the way Henri stared at me gave me strength. "Why?" I finally said, "Why do you believe?" She paused and I found myself holding my breath, waiting for her answer.
"Because you're not a bad person."
"What's that have to do with anything?" I was defensive. She was hitting to close to home. But how could she know what I was thinking? I had a sinking feeling in my stomach.
Her voice trailed off and she pulled away from me. She was hiding something. I waited for her to explain, but she stalled so long I started to worry I might actually suffocate to death before she spoke again. We could have hidden anywhere; the castle had hundreds of rooms. Why, of all places, were we crouched in that tiny closet?
"I'm sorry Evan," she said slowly. She star
ed at the ground. "I saw the book. I mean, I read it."
There were voices in the hall; I barely noticed them.
Henri paused as if waiting for me to react, but I was too shocked. She looked me in the eyes. "I've known about the book for a long time, but I didn't know where you kept it. I saw you put it away last night. I waited till you fell asleep and snuck back to read it."
I should have been angry, but I wasn't. Mostly, I was afraid of what she'd think of me now. That once the truth settled in, she would leave me too. Like my father did.
"Didn't you read what it says about me?" I said. We were so close I could hear her eye's blink. "What I'm going to become?" My face tingled, like my head wasn't getting enough blood.
"It's says what you are, that you're a sapient."
"And that I'm going to become a—"
"You're a good person," she said, interrupting. "You won't go bad."
Footsteps ran past our door and I waited a moment before speaking again.
"I bet that's what my father said too. When he first learned the truth—"
"You don't know that."
"—Then he wised up and realized I wasn't worth sticking around for."
"I'm sure he had a good reason to leave."
"He didn't want to see what I'd become." I tried to smooth a crease in my pants that wouldn't stay down.
"Don't say that."
"Why else would he leave?"
"It could be anything."
"That's why Mazol hates me too. He knows. I'm sure he knows."
"He hates you because of Pike. He blames you."
"He saw the monster coming out of me that night. Only a monster would have killed his son."
"It wasn't your fault. You shouldn't keep blaming yourself."
"You'll see. You'll want to leave me too now, just like my father. Once you've had time to think it over."
"Stop it!" she whispered so loudly it was almost a yell. "You're not evil and you never will be."
I realized how loud we had been arguing and whispered, "The book says I am."
"Then the book is wrong."
"I thought you believed it."
"I believe you're a sapient."
"You can't take the parts you like and ignore the rest."
"You won't become a monster unless you choose to become one. You can use sapience for good."
"How would you know?"
"Because choices mean something."
"Sometimes you don't get a choice."
"You always have a choice. There are lots of paths, but you get to choose which one to follow."
"Some people's paths are chosen for them."
There were more footsteps outside the door. This time they stopped.
"Wait," a voice said in the hall. "I heard something."
Someone rattled the handle to our closet. He shouted as he beat on the door.
We were found.
A single, ugly eye appeared in the key hole.
"Look at this," a voice said outside the door. It was my Uncle Mazol. I could imagine him smiling at the other two wards—or warts as I called them—who kept us working on the clankers day and night. "We've found our dear little Henrietta."
The eye disappeared, followed by some scuffling outside the door.
"Evan, please," Henri begged. She turned her body so her face was almost touching mine. "Just try."
The door handle rattled.
I rubbed my eyes. They were suddenly itchy and wet. "I'll just hurt you."
"I believe in you. You won't hurt me."
The air felt charged with tension like static. I pulled at the collar of my ragged shirt. Everything in the closet seemed to be touching me at the same time.
I heard metal clinking. Mazol began trying different keys to see which one fit.
"Hurry, Evan. You have to believe. I know you can do it." Henri's voice was different. Stronger. Unafraid.
I felt dizzy. I shook my head to clear my mind. It didn't help.
I looked past her, staring even harder at the blurry door. I couldn't trust myself to look her in the eyes. Everything I'd hidden from her might start pouring from my mouth like a spigot. I bit my tongue.
An image of Little Sae hanging by her neck flashed in my head and I felt sick, but I had to push it away. Little Sae was gone forever.
But at least I still had Henri.
As I thought about her, something began to change inside me. I clenched my eyes shut, but the feeling only grew stronger. It became impossible to ignore.
Help her.
It was a single thought that seemed to move from my mind to a place deep in my gut in a way I'd never felt before. Henri deserved it—no matter how scared I was of who I would become.
I hesitated another half second, but there was really no decision to make. I had to try.
I lifted my hand into the air. It was shaking.
On the other side of the door, something slipped into the lock. But it didn't turn. More keys rattled.
I didn't have a clue how to begin, I didn't even know what I was trying to do, but my hand hung in the air—instinctively—as if waiting for the cue to begin. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I was suddenly thankful it was so dark. Maybe Henri hadn't noticed.
Then suddenly, the speed of time shifted. Dust sparkled in a sliver of light that shined through the key hole. It was like watching a thousand miniature fireflies waltzing. They slowed to a stop, hanging frozen in time. Watching to see what happened next.
I imagined I was a traveling magician and my audience was waiting for a performance.
Without even realizing it, my hand began to move.
I can't explain the sensation. I knew what I had to do without knowing what I was doing. It was like riding a bicycle for the first time—my body suddenly learned how to balance on two wheels, but my brain didn't have a clue how it was happening.
It felt just like—Magic.
My mind was clear. The closet was no longer crushing me. The constant pain in my leg had disappeared. In the dim light I saw Henri's eyes were wide open with anticipation. She had seen me, but she believed.
I watched my fingers move, like they belonged to someone else. They looked like they were about to strike an invisible match in the air, and then they stopped.
What were they waiting for?
It was my brain. It still had control. And I was hesitating.
What if I did it wrong?
What if I screwed it up and hurt Henri instead of helping her?
What would happen if it worked?
What if we disappeared—what would happen to the other fallings without me to look after them?
But I shouldn't have waited.
That one moment of hesitation was a moment too long.
Splinters of wood shattered against my face. A huge fist burst through the door with a crash. Light streaked through dust-clogged air.
Mazol gave up finding the right key.
CHAPTER SIX
Monday
11:07 am
The fist was as large as my head. It broke through the three inch thick solid koa wood door like the thing was made of kindling. There was only one person in the castle who could do that. His name was Ballard.
Five fingers, like cracked-stone, unclenched slowly then gripped what was left of the door and heaved backwards. With another ear splitting crash, the door, the jam, even part of the wall was ripped away. Light flooded in as Henri and I crouched together like cornered prey. I felt like I was drowning in it.
I blinked, staring into the blinding light, and swore at myself for waiting that last second. I would never know what would have happened if I had tried.
Three shadows were silhouetted against the towering windows behind them. It didn't take much imagination to guess who they were. There were only three adults in the castle. Uncle Mazol, Ballard and Yesler, the short shape on the right.
Ballard reached towards us through the cloud of dust and felt around until he found Henri's head of chop
py, unkept hair. He lifted her up by it and she disappeared into the cloud of dust, screaming.
I jumped up and plunged blindly after her, but it was no use. Ballard's free hand stopped me like a wall, preventing me from getting to Henri. The dust cleared quickly and I saw her outline crumpled at Mazol's feet.
Pain shot through my leg; a lasting gift from the night I fell off the tower roof. I was luckier than Pike, but I would never walk again without a crutch and severe pain in my right ankle.
That pain was now trying to rob me of what fight I had left, but I wouldn't give in to it. I shoved Ballard's hand to the side and threw myself violently against his body causing him to lose his balance for a moment—just long enough to get past him.
I ran towards Henri again, but Ballard was too fast. Before I could reach her, he caught me from behind by my shoulder. His fingers reached around from my back to my chest. If he squeezed any harder, my ribs would shatter in his hands.
Ballard was 9 feet, 3 inches tall and weighed 840 lbs. He could eat me whole and still be hungry. At that moment, I might as well have been a meal for all the help I was to Henri.
Uncle Mazol yanked Henri's arm, twisting it awkwardly behind her back as he forced her to get on her feet.
"You little rat," Mazol said as he shook her. "You made us miss a full half-day of work."
She started sobbing even louder and Mazol squeezed her mouth. "Quit your squawking girl."
"Stop it!" I yelled, "You're hurting her." I tried to pry Ballard's fingers from around me, but I might as well have been trying to rip tree roots from the ground. Yesler appeared out of nowhere and slapped me across the face with the back of his hand. His gaudy rings cracked against my cheek bone. I tasted blood in my mouth.
"That's enough," Mazol said. My uncle was strangely particular about who got to beat me and when. "All of you, follow me."
Mazol drug Henri by the arm down the hall so fast she couldn't keep up without tripping; the other two warts and me followed. Ballard pulled me along by the back of my shirt and my leg screamed with every step. Yesler was last, unblinking and grinning wickedly. We turned a corner and I caught a glimpse through the doors into a room I hadn't seen in years.
Evan Burl and the Falling Page 3
