“I know.” Her smile was equal parts wistful and wry. “But between the baby waking up at all hours and you waving that thing around, I can’t imagine either of us will get much rest.”
“It’s called a penis,” he chuckled, climbing underneath the covers and dragging her into his arms. She felt amazing tucked up against him. Feminine curves and soft, soft skin. “This was a very good idea.”
“And you’re so modest, too.”
“Brat.”
“Autocrat.”
“Shrew.”
She laughed softly, curling one arm around his neck and kissing his chin. “I like fighting with you.”
“Is that what we’re doing?” He rubbed his hands over her rounded butt, squeezing experimentally. “I thought we were negotiating.”
She pulled back and stared at him, her expression wry. The lamp on the bedside table was still on, though the bulb was small and the light it cast not bright at all. “Everything I have is yours tonight, Nathaniel,” she said softly. “No negotiating necessary. I’m here because I want to be.”
Big blue eyes seemed to reflect the knowledge that he was incapable of giving her what she needed. He couldn’t let this go too far. Not without risking his heart and his professional life. What did Dani expect from him?
His throat was so tight he had to swallow before he could speak. “I’m glad,” he said gruffly.
Giving in to the greatest temptation he had ever known, he let himself wallow in her goodness, her welcome, her much-needed warmth. He had stocked the nearest drawer with a dozen condoms, and even that might not be enough. They came together in every way imaginable, hard and fast, lazy and slow. They dozed from time to time, and then he took her again.
He didn’t know what love was. Surely not this desperate need to bind and irrevocably mark a woman. Love wasn’t a sick feeling in the stomach, was it? Or the terrifying conviction that he had lost all control of his life? The notion that Dani was becoming necessary to him was scary as hell.
She was a decent woman and more honest than any other he had ever known. Her life was an open book. But if he told her even a fraction of what he was feeling, that would give her power over him, the power to destroy.
So he held his tongue, but he showed her with his body. Like a madman, he forced his way between smooth thighs and took her in an agony of longing, as if he would never get enough. As if filling her and finding release was the ultimate calling of his life.
Loving her gently was far easier when the first storm had passed. He stroked curves and valleys, feathering his fingertips across her most sensitive flesh and relishing her ragged cries when he gave her what she needed most.
Holding her afterward was almost as good. With her back pressed to his chest and her bottom cradled against his pelvis, he found peace. Burying his face in her hair, he inhaled her scent and tried to commit it to memory. Nothing this good could last. Nothing ever did.
In the middle of the night, Dani took a turn waking him. “Hold me,” she whispered. “Make love to me again. Christmas is over, and I’m afraid of tomorrow.”
He had no assurances to offer. They both knew the score. It added up to messy confusion and ultimately, change. A change he didn’t want, but a change that was necessary. The best he could do right now was pretend.
* * *
Dani woke up just before 5:00 a.m. and went to the bathroom. Then, with her heart breaking, she stared into the mirror and tried to recognize the woman with the tousled hair and the tired eyes and the whisker burns on her neck.
How could they go forward from here? Nathaniel was never going to change. Dani had too much self-respect to settle for a relationship that was less than a hundred percent. She wanted a normal life.
Nathaniel Winston was not normal in any way. He was brilliant and driven. Generous, but at the same time distant. She knew he cared about her in an academic fashion. Just as he cared about Peaches. That wasn’t enough. Dani wanted everything or nothing at all.
Maybe he felt something more for her than a primal, male need to possess. Maybe he could fall in love with her. Was she willing to take that chance? Was she willing to wait for something that might never happen?
Yawning and desolate, she returned to the bedroom and climbed back under the covers. Nathaniel was dead asleep, but when she touched his chest, he mumbled and reached for her, dragging her against him. Dani closed her eyes and fell asleep, wrapped in the bittersweet comfort of ephemeral bliss.
* * *
The next time she awoke, the room was filled with light. Nathaniel lay on his side facing her, his head propped on his hand. He looked younger and happier than she had ever seen him. Peaches lay between them, contentedly gumming the edge of the sheet.
Dani rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands and stretched with a yawn. “Sorry, I must have been out cold.”
Nathaniel grinned. “You were indeed. I suppose someone kept you awake most of the night.”
His smug, male satisfaction amused her despite the turmoil in her heart. She twirled one of the baby’s curls around her finger. “Naughty baby.”
“Very funny.” He tangled his hand in Dani’s hair and leaned over to kiss her. “I’ve decided to go to Gainesville with you. If the offer’s still open.”
“Of course it is. But what about work? What changed your mind?”
“NCT can do without me for one day. We’ve all three been cooped up since Friday. A road trip sounds like fun. You can tell your brother not to worry about picking you up.”
“I hate to burst your bubble, but how exactly are we going to get there? Your Mercedes is in a drugstore parking lot under a mound of snow, and there’s still the matter of the car seat.”
“Out of curiosity, how did you envision us traveling when you first invited me to go with you?”
“Truthfully?” She grimaced. “I thought you would say no immediately, so it was a moot point.”
Her answer bothered him. She could see it in his eyes, but he recovered quickly. “Well, I guess the joke is on you. I’m coming, and I’ve got the transportation problem solved. I’ve ordered a vehicle with a regulation car seat already installed.”
“A car?”
“A vehicle.”
“As in...?”
For a moment, he looked like a kid caught cheating on his homework. “I requested a Hummer. It will be delivered at four this afternoon.”
Dani gaped. “A Hummer? Are you serious? Why would you do that?”
Nathaniel shrugged. “It’s a virtually indestructible vehicle. Look out the window, woman. The melting has started, but it won’t be gone in an hour. Nobody in Atlanta knows how to drive in the snow. It’s dangerous to be out and about. Besides, all that water has to go somewhere, which means flooding. Peaches may not be mine, but I have a responsibility to keep her safe until the investigator gets some answers. I want to keep you safe, too.”
“And you want to drive a Hummer.”
His sheepish grin acknowledged the truth of her accusation. “Is that so bad?”
“My brother will go nuts. I hope you don’t mind sharing. He’ll have the two of you careening all over Hall County.”
“There are worse ways to spend an afternoon.”
“Good grief.” She muttered the words beneath her breath as she got out of bed. At five this morning after visiting the bathroom, she had donned her nightgown before getting back under the covers. Her mental state required some kind of armor, even if it was flimsy silk and even if the silk had been purchased by the man on the other side of the bed. Now she added the robe and belted it. “Shall I fix us some breakfast?”
Every bit of humor left his face. His eyes darkened and his jaw tightened. “What I’d like is for Ophelia to reclaim her baby so I can spend a few more hours in bed with you. Last night was amazing.”
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“Hush,” she said. “Not in front of Peaches.”
He stared at her so intently her nipples beaded beneath two thin layers of silk. Nathaniel noticed, of course. “She doesn’t understand a thing I’m saying. Nor does she know how badly I want her to take a long, morning nap.”
“Stop it, please. You’re embarrassing me.” Her cheeks felt sunburned. Why did the man in the bed have to be so sexy, so charming, so funny, so everything?
“Fine,” he said. “Go scramble a few eggs if it will make you happy. But don’t expect me to forget about sex. Not after last night.”
If Christmas Day had been long and lazy, Monday was anything but. Since the holiday fell on Sunday, most of Atlanta had Monday off, which meant traffic was lighter than usual on the interstates. That helped road crews who were trying desperately to restore order. Unfortunately, even that advantage was negated by the dozens of wrecks all over the city. Dani and Nathaniel took turns listening to the radio, scouring online news sites and occasionally, catching breaking-news updates on TV.
Peaches was inconsolable for most of the day. She did, in fact, have one tiny tooth poking through on the bottom with a second one soon on the way. “No wonder she’s cranky,” Dani said after lunch. “Poor thing is miserable.”
Since they didn’t want to get out twice, Dani made a list and Nathaniel placed a phone order to the same pharmacy/discount store where they had first gathered supplies for the baby. This time Dani included infant acetaminophen and a fluid-filled teething ring that could be frozen. They needed something to comfort the poor child.
While the grown-ups took turns packing overnight bags, the baby slept for no more than ten minutes at a time. Dani, frazzled and exhausted, began to wonder if this trip to Gainesville was a good idea after all. On the other hand, her parents would be crushed if she cancelled at this late date.
Nathaniel loaned her a small suitcase. She managed to get all of the gifts he had given her folded neatly inside. The family lunch would be extremely casual, and she had told Nathaniel as much. The jeans she chose to wear from her new mini wardrobe, however, were superchic, as was the long-sleeve top in shades of purple and mauve and silver. Never had she spent this much money on items that were essentially a knock-around wardrobe.
The outfit must have been flattering, because Nathaniel’s eyes narrowed and his neck flushed when he saw her. “You almost ready?” he asked.
Dani nodded, tucking her hair behind her ears. “I think we’re just waiting for the drugstore order and we’re good to go.”
Nathaniel handed her the baby. “I’m going downstairs to sign for the car. I’ll load the delivery straight into the back.”
“You won’t need all that for one night.”
“Doesn’t matter. I’ve got plenty of room in the Hummer.”
She laughed. “You love saying that, don’t you?”
His wicked smile made her stomach flip. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
When the front door slammed behind him, Dani nuzzled Peaches’s soft cheeks and tried to remember everything she needed to pick up at her apartment. Thanks to Nathaniel’s largesse, it was mostly only the presents for her family.
Thirty minutes later, they were on the road. Dani had worried about Peaches’s safety, but the car seat was top-of-the-line and installed correctly. The baby settled down once they were in the ridiculously large and noticeable vehicle, perhaps from the novelty of being outside.
The huge amounts of melting snow did indeed create a nightmare. Not only that, but Nathaniel was forced to dodge vehicles that had been abandoned Friday night. The side trip to Dani’s apartment took far longer than it should have. She shared the top floor of an old Victorian house in the Piedmont Park area.
“This is nice,” Nathaniel said, surveying the tree-lined streets and charming architecture.
“I won’t be long at all.”
“Don’t you need help?”
“No. I’ll be fine.” She didn’t want Nathaniel inside her home, even briefly. It was going to be hard enough to root him out of her life without the memory of his presence inside the one place that was her peaceful sanctuary at the end of a long day.
She was gone fifteen minutes, maybe twenty. “Sorry,” she said as she carefully placed the sack of gifts in the back and climbed into the front of the vehicle. “I had to water a couple of plants.”
“No worries.”
As Nathaniel negotiated the newly created obstacle course to get out of town, Dani texted back and forth with her mother. Finally, she shut off her phone and tossed it in her purse. “I hope we make it to Gainesville and the hotel in one piece.”
He shifted into a lower gear to tackle an icy hill. “We’ll make it,” he said. “And we’ll celebrate in bed, little elf. Frankly, it’s all I’m thinking about at the moment. That and trying not to smash up this tank I’m driving.”
“I thought it wasn’t smashable,” she quipped, goading him for no good reason.
He scowled as the driver to their right ran a stop sign. “True. It would be more correct to say I’m worried about smashing up all the other vehicles on the road. Do me a favor and quit talking for now. I need to concentrate.”
Normally the drive from Atlanta to Gainesville—northeast of the city—took an hour to an hour and half, depending upon time of day. Today, the traffic crawled. All lanes of the interstate were clear, but stranded vehicles on the side of the road created hazards. Not only that, but the people who hadn’t been able to travel Saturday and Sunday were out in full force, clogging the roads.
When they finally made it to the outskirts of Dani’s hometown, she had a tension headache and an empty stomach. Peaches had slept the first hour and cried on and off the rest of the trip. Nathaniel pointed out a popular steak house. “Do you want to stop for dinner before we check in?”
The thought of juggling a cranky baby was daunting. “Would you mind if we ordered pizza and had it delivered to the room?”
“Not at all. I should have thought of that.”
The all-suite hotel Dani had chosen was part of a chain, but a nice one. A friendly bellman helped them wrangle all their stuff upstairs and beamed when Nathaniel tipped him generously. The young man wanted to linger and discuss the Hummer’s unique features. Dani eased him out the door. “We need to feed the baby. Thanks again for all your help.”
Nathaniel collapsed in an armchair and rubbed his temples. “I never want to make that drive again.”
“Me, either,” Dani said, feeling guilty. “I had no idea it would be so bad. I’m sorry I dragged you into this.”
He gave her a tired smile that still had enough wattage to curl her toes. “I came along of my own free will. Besides, this may be the only time in my life I can justify the Hummer.”
“Was it worth the price?”
“Every penny.” He kicked off his shoes. “Let me have the baby, and you order our pizza. I’ll eat anything but anchovies. And onions.”
“Sounds good.”
Often, when Nathaniel decided to work through lunch at NCT, Dani was the one who ordered meals brought in. It wasn’t unusual for the two of them to sit together in Nathaniel’s office and eat while he kept working and she took notes or sent emails at his request.
Never once in those situations had she ever felt self-conscious or weird. Tonight, every moment felt like new territory.
Fortunately, the local pizza place was close by. Delivery was prompt and efficient. While Dani handled the meal order, Nathaniel gave Peaches a bottle. He was an old pro at it already. Soon, Peaches was asleep. They spread a blanket on the rug near them and put the baby on her tummy. She scrunched her cute little face and drew her knees under her, her bottom tilted upward in her favorite sleep position.
While they consumed the hot, extra cheesy ham-and-pineapple pizza,
silence reigned. Dani knew she should come right out and tell Nathaniel she was looking for another job. He would probably be pleased. It would be impossible for things to go back to the way they were at the office. After this bizarre Christmas weekend that was both wonderful and challenging in equal parts, life was going to be very different.
Dani wasn’t scheduled to go back to work until January 3. She’d banked the last of her vacation time to give herself a nice, long holiday at the end of the year. Her plans for the remainder of this week were modest: clean out her closet, see a couple of movies she had missed and stock up on groceries to cook healthy, yummy meals for January.
She didn’t always make New Year’s resolutions, but this time around was different. In the spirit of being proactive, she would schedule herself an appointment on Nathaniel’s calendar for that first day back, sit down with him and quit her job face-to-face.
Just thinking of it made her hands clammy and her stomach queasy. The boss was a holy terror when he was mad. Woe to the person who became the focus of his icy cold displeasure. Still, only a coward ended a job or a relationship with a note, online or otherwise.
Nathaniel tapped the edge of the box. “You want to share the last piece?”
“It’s all yours,” she said.
If Nathaniel had even once offered a single shred of evidence that he was thinking about a future for the two of them, she might have found the courage to tell him she loved him. After all, nothing dictated that the man had to be first to lay his heart on the line.
Unfortunately, Nathaniel had done nothing to indicate a desire for permanence.
Which meant that tonight and tomorrow were it.
Without saying a word, he gathered up the empty pizza box and the paper plates and napkins, and carried them out to the trash chute in the hall. When he returned, he lifted an eyebrow. “What’s wrong, Christmas elf? I’ve never seen you bite your fingernails.”
She jerked her hand away from her mouth. “Nothing’s wrong,” she lied. “I might be a tiny bit nervous about tomorrow, that’s all.”
Billionaire Boss, Holiday Baby Page 12
