by Debra Holt
Then there was Davis. She hadn’t sent him away… she had simply not stopped him. That one hurt in the region of her heart. Because it mattered. It meant more to her than she had allowed herself to even believe possible. With the speed and clarity of a lightning strike, Stacy admitted that as smart as she wanted to believe she was, as careful as she had always been in her relationships, the inevitable had happened. She had fallen in love, with the type of man she had sworn to never become involved with. She had stayed true to that decree for years.
Until Davis McKenna had walked into her life, without fanfare, just a tall man with a huge heart and a smile that dared her to stereotype him. Stacy had told him from the very beginning her rule about cowboys. And, to his credit, he had never challenged her on it.
No, he had been far more subtle. He had simply lived his life and allowed her to share parts of it. And that had been her undoing. The final lesson had been taught earlier in the evening. He had stood before her… not as a “cowboy”, but a man in a tuxedo at a fancy party. Tomorrow, he would go back to being the ranger. He had been right. Not every man in a cowboy hat and boots was a loser like those she had grown up around and like her absent father had been. Davis McKenna was nothing remotely resembling those men.
And neither were the others she had met over the past few weeks. Like Ned and Murph… salt of the earth types both. And very wise men. There was also Lizzie’s father and the sheriff and so many others. She had stereotyped them in her mind before knowing them. She had been wrong about so much. In her heart of hearts, she knew Davis was not a liar.
When he said he had no part in the investigation of the Harringtons and had not used her connection with them, she should have believed him. Her instinct had told her he was telling the truth, but she behaved childishly and wanted to grab hold of anything that might keep that wall around her heart. Anything that might prove she had been right all along to not trust a cowboy.
Now she sat in her fancy condo… her ivory tower… alone. She had her books and her imaginary heroes. Stacy had allowed a real, living, breathing hero to slip through her fingers. A man who offered her his real heart and she had turned it away. She reached for a tissue from the box on the table and her eyes caught the blinking red light on her answering machine.
She hadn’t checked her messages at all that day. If there was ever an emergency, the people who needed to get in touch with her had her cell number. The rest were given her “office” number. The blinking held her attention. For whatever reason, she reached out and clicked the machine on. There was only one message. The voice that came on surprised her and quickly garnered her attention.
Hi Stacy. This is Tricia Wellman. Just wanted to remind you that Lizzie’s birthday is on Saturday and we would all love to see you. Lizzie keeps asking if you’re coming. Hope you can join us. The festivities begin at two and end with dinner. Bye!’
Stacy had not forgotten the invitation. It had weighed on her mind. Part of her wanted to go. The other part was unsure. Face it… afraid… would be a better term. Davis was sure to be there. And after their exchange earlier at the ball, she wasn’t sure he would enjoy seeing her again. It would be uncomfortable. Then again, it might give them a chance to talk… without interruptions, if they were lucky. He had made the effort to come to her… to seek her out. It was up to her if there was to be a next move. And she did need to see him again… if only to try and explain why she had behaved the way she had. He might not want to hear it, but she had to try. For the first time, she felt a tiny flicker of hopefulness. It was time to make that next step.
*
The week was long or did it just seem that way to Stacy given her level of anxiety? The day of Lizzie’s birthday arrived at last. She spent the morning searching for the perfect gift and then wrapping it in the most festive manner possible. Her wardrobe came next. She dressed casually… new jeans, a butter cream peasant-style blouse and silver and leather belt around the waist. A pair of newly purchased brown cowboy boots went along with the ensemble.
They were a concession and, hopefully, Davis would understand what they meant. She left her hair down and placed silver hoops in her ears. Stacy felt better than she had in days and there was a definite shine to her eyes as she checked the rearview mirror before pulling away from her building’s garage. She had wrapped a bright fuchsia and turquoise scarf around her head.
With the top down on her convertible, it was a glorious Saturday to be headed toward the hill country… toward Davis. She couldn’t help but notice the way it felt as if she were heading not away from home but toward it. That was a sensation that both scared her and thrilled her at the same time with an unknown anticipation.
As she drove, she tried to formulate the words she wanted to say when she saw Davis again. None seemed to convey what she wanted them to. But she needed to be prepared with something. She couldn’t just walk up to him and throw her arms around his neck and expect all to be okay. This was new ground for her. She needed to apologize to the man. And she needed to ask for another chance… both options she hoped he would agree with. If she hadn’t miscalculated and left things too late? She pushed the doom and gloom thought from her mind. It couldn’t be too late.
She slowed as she came into McKenna Springs. Stacy passed The Diner on Main Street and hesitated for a second. After a moment, she thought better of stopping and pressed down on the accelerator. Darcy was bound to be at the party. With a glance over at the square, she saw the benches were empty. It was too late to catch the two checker players. The town looked the same since she last had been there. It no doubt would look the same if her next visit was a year from then. Although Stacy hoped that wouldn’t be the case.
Taking the road out of town, she let her memory guide her and her heart skipped a beat as she passed the gates that led to Davis’s home. So many memories called to her as she sped by. She tried not to let her mind go back to the hours she spent there… to both the good and the bad. She needed to keep a clear focus on the present day… a positive one.
Ten minutes later, she pulled under the shade of a tree, parking amongst a slew of other vehicles, mostly pickups and SUVs. Brightly-colored balloons hung from trees and along the porches around the home. Long tables with white tablecloths held a mass of food and drinks. There was a separate one for gifts and it was fairly loaded as well. Music played from speakers hidden around the yard and the party was in full swing. Stacy picked up her package and headed in the direction of the yard with its laughing children and adults gathered about in groups and seated at various tables. Her eyes were hidden behind dark glasses so she was able to eagerly search for one tall figure among them all. Her preliminary search turned up nothing.
“Stacy! She’s here! She’s here!” The high-pitched squeal could only belong to Lizzie and Stacy caught site of a pink clad missile heading her way. She just had time to clutch the present tighter as the child’s impact caught her around the waist.
“Hey, little one!” She laughed at the exuberance of the child. Her arm rested around the small shoulders. “Happy Birthday!”
“You came! I told Momma you’d come. Come see my cake. It has pink flowers all over it and you can eat them too!” She stopped when her eyes took in the huge present Stacy carried. “That’s mine?”
“I don’t know any other birthday girl around here today. I guess it must be.”
“Want me to carry it?”
“It’s a little heavy. I better take it to the table.”
“Stacy! It’s so good that you could make it.” Tricia Wellman greeted her at the end of the sidewalk. “Come in and make yourself at home. You know most everyone here. Let me take the present for you. Lizzie, the children are waiting for you to start the next game.” The child took off after another quick hug for Stacy.
Stacy handed over the gift and returned the smiles and waves of quite a few of the people she recalled. They welcomed her as if she had never been gone. It felt very nice. Then she spied Darcy making a beeline for
her. The two women met in a hug.
“You look amazing.” Darcy grinned. “I’m so glad you came. Now I’ll have someone to gossip with.”
Stacy laughed at that. It was a good feeling to be back among so many friendly faces. The pair moved among the different groups, as she became reacquainted with so many and caught up on the latest news. The time passed very quickly. She was surprised to see she had already been there three-quarters of an hour when Darcy finally poured a couple of cold lemonades and found two chairs on the porch. The children were involved in a game of hide and seek and their squeals punctuated the afternoon. There was still no sign of Davis.
“It’s nice to visit with friends like this,” Darcy spoke beside her. “You’ve got to come for the county fair next month. There’s an amazing arts and craft show with it, and the usual carnival rides and a street dance, too.”
“I hope I can. It all depends if I’m in town or not. With the new book coming out, I never know what I’ll be expected to do. But I would love to come if I can.”
“Davis brought me the book you sent. Thanks so much. I’ve already read it. It’s just amazing how you write such great love stories. I don’t know how you do it, but just keep it up.”
Stacy was glad Darcy had broached his name first. “I’m glad Davis brought it to you. I don’t see him here yet.” Was that nonchalant enough?
Darcy took another sip of drink before she replied. “No, and I’m afraid he won’t be here today.”
The bottom fell out of her day. Stacy hoped her disappointment wasn’t evident. She let a few moments go by.
“That’s a shame.”
“Yes. He’s on assignment down on the border. It might be a few weeks, but he really couldn’t tell me much but the basics. He left yesterday.”
“I thought he was involved in a case in the Austin area?” What would he be doing way down south instead of where the Harringtons lived and worked?
Darcy gave her a quizzical look. “No… this is a case involving a double homicide in the Brownsville area. He hasn’t done anything but work on homicide assignments for almost two years now, and this one I know for the last eight months or longer.”
The day dimmed. Stacy was vaguely aware of a couple of other ladies joining them on the porch and the conversation flowed around her. She made brief responses when needed, but her heart was not into the topic of recipes for chocolate brownie and toffee bars. Her mind was on the fact that Davis was gone… and for how long?
They wouldn’t have the chance to talk. She wouldn’t have the opportunity to apologize or try to explain… or to simply look into his eyes and hopefully find that the feelings he had professed were still there for her to see. She had received yet another verification that Davis hadn’t lied to her about working on a case involving Donnie and his family. She really didn’t need it though. Her heart and gut instincts were already in one agreement. She just needed to be able to tell Davis she had made a mistake and ask his forgiveness.
Her quietness was noted but not remarked upon. That was, until after the dinner had been served. Darcy sat her plate down across from Stacy and swung her legs over the bench seat of the picnic table. Stacy was trying to enjoy the delicious barbecue but it tasted like cardboard for some reason. She was really just pushing the food around on her plate. Darcy took note of that fact as well.
“You know, it’s the most amazing thing. Recently, Davis hasn’t been eating his usual junk food at the diner. He doesn’t have much of an appetite for anything. Must be something going around.”
Stacy looked over the woman. She knew she had been caught out. “Must be.”
“Look, Stacy, I’m sorry for whatever that idiot brother of mine did to ruin things between you two. I hope that maybe you guys can get past it. I think you’d be a great sister-in-law.”
Stacy laid her fork down beside her plate. “Thanks for the compliment. But I doubt things are fixable between us. I was the one who pushed him away. It wasn’t his fault.”
Darcy’s expression grew solemn as she looked over at Stacy. “I’m certainly no expert in the love area, but I think my brother has finally fallen hard. And if you feel the same… then there’s always hope. That’s my opinion, at least. Blame it on all those romance novels I read.” She cracked a smile at that one. “Besides, I have a personal stake in all this.”
Stacy gave her a quizzical look. “Personal stake?”
“With you in the family, I’d be able to read all your novels first before anyone else.”
Stacy couldn’t help but laugh. “Very true. You are indeed wise.”
The cutting of the birthday cake and opening of presents came after the dinner. Lizzie went straight to Stacy’s gift and opened it first. She let out a squeal when she saw the pink and white chest with its faux stones adorning it. She opened it and found more dress up outfits… all from the Disney store that brought higher squeals with each one she pulled out. There were also DVDs and books inside the chest. It was quite a haul for a special little girl. Stacy had to admit it had been fun shopping for little girl items. She hoped that someday she might have a little one like Lizzie… and a little boy too. One that looked just like his dad. And Davis’s image popped up immediately. She reined in her imagination as she realized she was really losing it. The man didn’t want to have anything more to do with her. That left the possibility of having his children out of the equation.
The shadows were growing longer when Stacy finally said her goodbyes and received the last in a long row of hugs and kisses from Lizzie. She and Darcy made plans to get together for lunch whenever Darcy drove in to Austin the following week. With a final wave, she headed back to the city… and her lonely tower.
Chapter Fifteen
“Chicago loves you.” Trish’s voice came through loud and clear on the cell… too loud as a matter of fact. Stacy still had jet lag and her head was beginning to throb. “The figures are amazing. You’ve got the interview at four and then you’re on the plane for San Antonio. Hang in there. You’ll be home soon.”
Home. Stacy so wanted to be home. She had been home only three days out of the last twenty or so. The seasons were changing in the east, the trees were golden, and that made her homesick. Why, she didn’t know. Trees turning were not the norm in her part of the world. But it was a season… the old going out and the next coming in… change. A hope for renewal.
The book tour was not as much fun as it used to be. She loved meeting her fans and fledgling writers and presenting workshops, but there was a spark missing. Nothing was really the same. She hadn’t put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard in almost a month… something that was unheard of for her.
“Women are going gaga over Cade Murdock. He is by far the best character you’ve ever written. I knew you should have been writing cowboys long ago.”
She wouldn’t tell Trish that Cade was based on the real deal. There was a lot of Davis McKenna in him and vice versa. It had been cathartic in a way to write him. Only in the story, the cowboy gets the girl and they live happily-ever-after. She could control that love story. If only real life could imitate art just as easily.
“Listen, get some rest when you can and I’ll call you in San Antonio. Bye!”
Stacy took two more headache pills and squared her shoulders. Her public awaited.
*
The plane touched down in the Alamo City just as the city lights were switching on. With any luck, she could collect her luggage, find the car that should be waiting for her, and then make it to the hotel before too late. Somewhere in there, it would be nice to have some room service and then just sit still for a while. She felt as if she had been going nonstop for days.
The luxury hotel was situated on the banks of the famous River Walk and had been built in the Spanish architecture so prevalent in the city. It was nice that the balcony of her suite looked down on the river and she stood for a while against the railing, watching the river boats, filled with tourists, ply the river. Even at the late hour, the fame
d walkway was alive with partygoers and those couples out for a romantic stroll in a town that was definitely made for romance. That fact only served to heighten the ache of loneliness she felt. She envied those couples.
A knock on her door signaled the arrival of her meal. Stacy signed the ticket and then took her salad out on the balcony and sat at the table to enjoy the evening below her… from a distance. She had to admit it would be nice to be one of the couple’s strolling along arm in arm, lost in their own little world and oblivious to all others. She found her pen and notebook and began to jot down a few descriptions. Perhaps she would set her next book in that locale. While others enjoyed the city below, she worked above it. It distracted her from other thoughts that only heightened the ache in the center of her chest. No matter how hard she worked at her craft though, the image of a tall cowboy with piercing blue eyes was never far away.
She and Darcy had spoken a couple of times on the phone since the birthday party. Davis had still been down on the border. Darcy thought he might be home in another week or so. Stacy felt worse after the calls. She had so many regrets.
The next morning came far too quickly. After a hurried breakfast, Stacy dressed in a fitted, brown suede jacket over a beige turtleneck along with a full skirt in soft brown leather that fell to just below the knees. Tall suede boots with two-inch heels completed the outfit. She added gold jewelry and swept her hair back in a sleek ponytail. When the front desk called to tell her the car had arrived for her, she was ready to face another day. She gathered her shoulder bag and briefcase and put on her best Sabrina Noelle smile to face the day ahead. Tomorrow, she would be headed home… she just needed to get through the final day of the tour. Only twenty-four more hours.
