The Year of Living Shamelessly

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The Year of Living Shamelessly Page 15

by Susanna Carr

“So?” he asked gruffly.

  “I have as much power over you as you have over me.” She tilted her head and licked the love bite on his neck that she had given him days ago, reminding him of her claim. “I’m going to get exactly what I want tonight. So are you.”

  “That should be interesting since you still haven’t earned the right to touch me.”

  That rule really bugged her. “I’m touching you right now.”

  He gave a nod. “But not with your hands.”

  “Do you plan to keep track of my hands all night long?” she asked, and then a possibility occurred to her. “Or are you going to tie me up?”

  “You still aren’t ready for bondage,” he said, still not moving away from her as she trailed a string of kisses on his throat. “You never will be.”

  “Don’t be too sure about that.” She boldly placed her hands on his shoulders. “I have you now. You’ll surrender by morning.”

  Just as she’d expected, Ryder gripped her wrists and pinned them against the wall above her head. “You’ll be the one under me begging for more.”

  Oh, she hoped so. “Promises, promises.”

  Ryder kissed her hard as he ground his hips against hers. When he yanked his mouth away, they both were gasping for air.

  “Is this how you punish your submissives?” Katie asked as she batted her eyelashes. “I bet they never learn their lesson.”

  Ryder grazed his lips along the pulse point above her collarbone. He caught the flesh between his teeth and sucked. Katie moaned but didn’t try to get away. She wanted him to brand her, and she loved that she felt the pull all the way to her core.

  When he let go, she still felt the throb at her throat. “Does this mean I’m yours?” she asked.

  “It means I’m your master.”

  She’d never agreed to that, and no branding of her skin would symbolize it. “And you bear my mark,” she said with a smile, “so that must mean . . .”

  He captured her chin with his thumb and forefinger and directed her gaze to meet his. “No, you surprised me with the love bite, but that doesn’t mean you can master me.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Keep telling yourself that and one day you might actually believe it.”

  He tightened his grip on her chin. “You are begging to be punished, aren’t you?”

  She smiled. “Well, I’m hoping for more than a love bite.”

  Ryder’s eyes darkened with desire. “Tell me what you want,” he said in a rough whisper.

  This was no time for shyness, she told herself. She needed to tell him exactly what she wanted and not hold back. “I want you underneath me, naked, hot and sweaty,” she said as she brazenly looked into his eyes. “I want you deep inside me, filling and stretching me as I ride you hard.”

  He swallowed audibly.

  She had him now. The eagerness in his eyes gave her the confidence to continue. “Take me to bed, Ryder,” she whispered as she wiggled her body against him. “I want to mount you.”

  Ryder closed his eyes.

  “And then I want to sink onto you.” She rubbed her thighs together as her silky, slippery core clenched with anticipation. “Slowly and deeply before I ride you fast and hard.”

  “Didn’t you forget something?” He slowly opened his eyes. “You haven’t earned the right to touch me.”

  “Don’t worry, Ryder,” she said as the confidence overflowed from her. “I can do you with no hands.”

  Ryder abruptly gathered her in his strong arms and moved swiftly to the bed. Katie couldn’t stop the triumphant laugh tumbling past her lips.

  The bed was cool and soft against her back, but as she reached for Ryder, he flipped her onto her stomach. The move disoriented her. Katie’s eyes widened as she saw the busy pattern of the quilt.

  “Get on your hands and knees,” Ryder said from behind her.

  Okay, that sounded a little too submissive for her. “I will once you get underneath me.”

  “Katie,” he said as he lifted her by her hips, making her settle on her knees, “do you think I’m going to reward you for breaking your promise?”

  Damn, had she fallen into a trap? Now she was in a perfect position to get spanked. She was very aware of how vulnerable she was, and her skin tingled with a mix of dread and excitement. She flinched when she felt his hand follow the curve of her ass.

  What was she worried about? This was Ryder. He wouldn’t hurt her. But she still had to ask, because she hadn’t been able to predict his every move. “What are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to mount you,” he said in a low, husky voice as he rubbed his finger along her wet slit. He reached under her with his other hand and squeezed her breast roughly. Katie arched and dipped her spine as she enjoyed the sensations he created inside her. “And then I’m going to sink into you, slowly and deeply, before I ride you fast and hard.”

  Katie’s fingers curled into the quilt, her hands shaking with anticipation. This wasn’t how she’d dreamed their first time in bed would be. This was much, much better.

  “Stay still,” he ordered as he withdrew his hands. Katie was tempted to look over her shoulder to see what he was doing, but she decided it was time to follow his instructions. She would surrender if it meant Ryder would claim her in the most basic, primitive way.

  She heard him take off his jeans, followed by a rip of foil. When she heard him roll on a condom, she dug her fingers into the quilt, wishing she could have done the task for him. She wanted any excuse to wrap her hand over his big cock.

  Katie felt the sag of the mattress. He was kneeling behind her, his chest hovering over her spine, and she felt the heat of him and inhaled his aroused, masculine scent. Ryder reached underneath her and played with her breasts. His aggressive touch made her moan and rear back.

  He reached down and cupped her sex. Katie panted eagerly as he teased her clit. He knew exactly how to touch her, aware of every move and sound she made. When she thought she would come, he immediately backed away.

  She murmured her disappointment as he guided her reluctant body back to her hands and knees. He was firm about her keeping the position, even as her arms and legs trembled. So this was the punishment? Would he get her so close to a climax and back off?

  Katie stiffened when she felt the rounded tip of his cock pressing against her. She dipped her spine as he rubbed his cock along the length of her wet slit, again and again. Katie bucked against him, desperate for more.

  Just when she thought she would go crazy, Ryder gripped her hips and slowly sank his cock into her hot, slick core. She gave a long, guttural groan as he filled her to the hilt.

  Katie’s flesh clung to him and Ryder shuddered when she squeezed her pelvic muscles. Her arms and legs were shaking. Her boots felt so heavy and sweat beaded on her skin. She’d never felt so good. So wild and alive.

  Ryder reached out and smoothed her hair from her face. He gathered her long black hair and twisted it around his hand. She wished she could watch his face. He had said nothing and she really needed to see his expression.

  With one hand clenched on her hip and another wrapped so tightly in her hair that her scalp tingled, he began to ride her. He pumped his cock in shallow thrusts, teasing her.

  “More,” she whispered.

  “More, what?” he asked as he plunged his cock deep into her.

  She gasped as black dots danced before her eyes while white-hot heat lit up and sparked inside her. More, what? How could she answer that? More cock? More, please? More, Master?

  Master? Was that what he wanted her to say? Forget it. She clawed at the quilt and dug her knees into the mattress. She wouldn’t call him that. She could last this out.

  His pace was designed to drive her wild. A couple of short thrusts and then a deep plunge to remind her of what she wanted more than her next breath. She understood why he chose to place her in this position. He had all the control. She couldn’t see him, couldn’t touch him, and couldn’t set the pace. She was at his mercy.
<
br />   Was it wrong to enjoy it so much?

  “Please, Ryder.” The words escaped her mouth before she knew it.

  “Please, what?” he asked. She noticed his voice was shaky, too. He had set this pace to make her submit, but he might be the first to surrender.

  She closed her eyes, relishing the ache building in her body, ready to splinter inside her. “I need you.”

  He slowed down.

  “All of you.” She licked her lips. “Everything you have.”

  Ryder’s hand tightened painfully on her hair before he released it. He clamped both hands on her hips and surged forward. Katie almost lost her balance as he drove into her. Oh . . . my . . . God . . . Ryder demonstrated his full power and strength as he set a fast, ferocious speed. There was no rhythm, no design. He showed her exactly how much he wanted to be deep inside her, to claim her. His control slipped and suddenly he was on top of her, tilting her hips, and he drove into her. His hoarse, animal cry echoed in her ears.

  She couldn’t fight it anymore. She didn’t want to. Katie surrendered to Ryder, body, heart and soul. The ache inside her splintered and whirled. The pleasure mingled with pain and she heard her scream from a distance.

  Ryder sagged against her. He was heavy, and his body almost too hot to touch, but she didn’t protest. As she gulped for air and her heart pounded hard in her ears, Katie knew she had him right where she wanted.

  This was a beautiful start to a wild love affair.

  Ryder watched Katie fall asleep in his arms. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she snuggled into him. He was surprised at the show of trust. He didn’t deserve it. And if he wasn’t careful, he would find himself doing the same to Katie and curling up against her, feeling safe and warm in her embrace.

  The moment he’d tossed Katie over his shoulder in the club, he’d known they would wind up in bed together. He wanted it to happen, and he wouldn’t let Jake interfere, even though that would have been the safest course of action.

  Ryder knew he had acted like a caveman, carrying Katie away. He had been uncivilized and he hadn’t cared. He had embraced it wholeheartedly. He never let himself get completely out of control, but there were moments when he skated right at the edge between control and recklessness.

  Katie had provoked him and pushed him to the limit. Their battle of wills was more erotic than anything he had seen in the club. Katie had teased his senses and tempted him until he couldn’t see straight. She saw that he was a demanding lover who was more rough than romantic. But she was with him every step of the way, her enthusiastic response hitting him like an aphrodisiac.

  Still, he should have been gentler. He wasn’t wrong about her. She was vanilla and he’d probably shocked her to the core. She was an eager lover and he found intense pleasure initiating her. He wanted to show her everything he knew and test her boundaries.

  Ryder stiffened. What was he thinking? This was a one-time thing. If he let it continue she would see right through him and find out how unlovable he really was. He glanced down at Katie and saw that she was sleeping as if she hadn’t had a decent sleep for the past few nights. Ryder gently pulled away from her. She frowned and murmured something, but didn’t wake when he tucked a blanket around her nakedness.

  Ryder sat up and slowly turned away from her. He was surprised that he hadn’t been knocked down with regret and shame for his failure to uphold just one simple rule: Don’t get into bed with Katie Kramer.

  He was sure regret and shame would find him soon enough, but right now he wanted Katie one more time. He wasn’t restless or feeling empty. If anything, he wanted this sense of deep satisfaction to linger. Once more with Katie and then he’d put a stop to it.

  Ryder winced at his promise. He should have known that one night with Katie was all that it would take to become addicted to her. He needed to stop this now.

  Then again, Katie had wanted an affair. Ryder rubbed his hands over his face, knowing he was grabbing for the very idea he had hated a mere few days ago. But Katie wanted something hot and wild that lasted a few days, not some happily-ever-after fairy tale.

  Which was a good thing, because he couldn’t give her that. A couple of weeks, maybe even a few months, and Katie would discover like everyone else that her prince was nothing more than a toad.

  He didn’t want that to happen, and that meant he had to give her up now. Cold turkey. Once they returned to Crystal Bend, he had to leave her alone and not look back. It was the only way he would get through the next couple of days.

  CHAPTER TEN

  December 28

  So much for being a beautiful start to a wild love affair, Katie thought glumly as she drove home from Seattle the next morning. She glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Ryder’s truck a couple of car lengths behind her. Even on the I-90, he was doing his best to keep his distance.

  Last night had seemed to be perfect. She vaguely remembered Ryder tucking her in. She had been exhausted and a little fuzzy as he placed the sheets and quilt on her naked body, but it was a sweet gesture. Katie honestly believed it was yet another facet of his protective side.

  It was only in the morning that she’d realized Ryder hadn’t slept in the same bed. And this morning he’d managed to keep a few feet, or a piece of furniture, between them in the small room at all times. Ryder wasn’t rude or cruel, but he was distant.

  But it didn’t interfere with his need to protect and provide for her. Katie noticed that Ryder made sure she ate breakfast. He also checked her car before they headed out of the city, and made sure she had everything she needed. But he barely spoke to her and the strained silence between them was unbearable.

  What she needed was a hug. Maybe some reassurance that the previous night had been a major event in his life, too. But she saw how Ryder tensed when she looked in his direction, or took a step back when she approached. If she was more confident, or felt more powerful, she wouldn’t have let it get in her way.

  So much for waking up with him by her side. Or snuggling in his arms. Katie sighed and pulled her gaze away from the rearview mirror. Why did she think last night would have brought them closer? Had she learned nothing? If anything, she was back to square one. Maybe even further than that.

  “Are you always this quiet the morning after?” Hilary asked from the passenger side. She gobbled down a cinnamon chip scone and knocked it back with a hot chocolate and extra whipped cream.

  “No, I usually sing ‘Like a Virgin’ at the top of my lungs,” Katie deadpanned and immediately regretted it as the song started to loop in her head. “Do you always get a sugar fix on your morning after?”

  “I do when I don’t get any,” Hilary muttered before wolfing down the rest of the scone.

  “Say what?” Katie’s car swerved and she immediately righted it, hoping Ryder didn’t notice, but that man missed nothing.

  “You heard me.” Hilary took a fortifying sip of her hot chocolate. “I thought I was going to get lucky last night. Jake takes me out of the club and rents a hotel room for us. And guess what?”

  Katie hunched her shoulders. Did she really want to know about her brother’s exploits or, uh, underperformance? “I’m almost afraid to ask.”

  “Nothing!” Hilary splayed her hands in the air. “That’s what happened. Absolutely freaking nothing.”

  Katie frowned. Was she missing something? “My brother didn’t lay a hand on you?” she verified.

  Hilary looked out the passenger window. “He slept on the floor. I don’t think he knew I was in the room,” she said softly.

  Ouch. That had to hurt. “I am so sorry.”

  Her friend shrugged. “When a woman spends the night with a womanizer and he doesn’t make a move on her, then she has hit an all-time low.”

  “Womanizer?” Great, now Britney Spears’s song was going through her head. It was going to be that kind of morning.

  “What else would you call Jake?” Hilary asked. “The guy only dates sex-crazed bimbos.”

  No, he had
some variety like . . . well . . . Katie clucked her tongue. “You’re right. He’s a womanizer.”

  “Let’s just keep my night a secret, okay?” Hilary pleaded with Katie. “I don’t think I could handle anyone knowing that I failed to seduce Jake.”

  Katie pressed her hand against her heart and vowed, “I’ll take your secret to the grave.”

  “Thank you.” Hilary straightened her shoulders and pulled down the sun visor to check her appearance. “I look like a raccoon. You should have told me it would take a chisel to get all this makeup off.”

  “I thought a genius like you knew it was going to take more than soap and water.”

 

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