by Taylor Lee
What she did know was that her father believed he needed to protect her from his past. It was ironic. Even as a young child she had felt that she was the one protecting him. From an evil she didn’t know or understand. But the raw pain in his eyes when he looked at her in unguarded moments, confirmed that it had something to do with her. And that it was something so hideous he would never tell her. Instead, he had lived his life as a virtual recluse, running his formidable financial empire under a raft of aliases and shadow corporations no one knew. No one, except perhaps Rafe.
“Papa, I…I love you too. I’m sorry I upset you. And yes, even if I don’t stay at ISA, I will help find those girls. I’m… I think I am close to discovering some important connections. I need time away, away from…from…ISA to follow my instincts. I will let you know what I decide. Goodbye, Papa. I love you. More than anything in the world.”
Yuri stared at his cell phone for a long moment listening to the dial tone. He disconnected and then pressed the number one key on the touchpad. When the cool voice he knew as well as his own answered, he didn’t hide his concern.
“What’s going on, Rafe? What did the hell did you do to my daughter?”
~~~
Rafe strode in to the dining room and looked around the table. He frowned and turned to leave. Grayson left the table and followed him out into the hallway.
“Looking for someone, Rafe?”
Certain that Grayson knew damn well who he was looking for, he didn’t pull any punches.
“Have you seen Nicki?”
Grayson shrugged. “Not since about three hours ago, when I saw the tail end of that hot little red 911 of hers peeling out of the garage at seventy miles an hour.”
Rafe glowered at him, debating whether to ask him more, but seeing the look on Grayson’s face, he decided he didn’t want to engage in a discussion with his too-perceptive friend.
“Thanks.”
He headed to his office and closed the door. Sinking into his chair he grabbed for his cigarette case, and realized that his hands were shaking.
He glanced up at a knock, to see Grayson enter. The tall man who filled the doorway closed the door and ambled over to the chair in front of the desk and settled in.
Rafe grimaced.
“Fuck. I knew I should have locked the door.”
Grayson chuckled, a wide smile creasing his handsome face. His slate grey eyes twinkled. Reaching for the humidor on the corner of the desk, he rifled among the aromatic treasures then selected one of the slender Bolivian cigars Rafe garnered especially for him.
Grayson tipped the cigar in a salute then busied himself cutting and lighting the treasure. Leaning back in his chair, he winked.
“That would presume that I don’t have a key.”
Rafe glared at him.
“Look Gray. I don’t want to offend you, but I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
Grayson waved the cigar in casual dismissal.
“Relax, bro. I just want to visit and smoke one of these foreign babies that I swear are as good a substitute for a woman as I know.”
Rafe snorted. “Right. You think I don’t know that look. You’ve got a stick up your butt the size of a tree trunk. Go for it. What have I done now that you don’t approve of?” He added, “And the idea of you substituting a cigar or anything else for the twenty or so women who are hoping they will get lucky tonight is laughable.”
Grayson’s grin widened, then he drilled Rafe with a hard look.
“Let’s be clear about who has a stick up his ass.”
Rafe grimaced and waved him off, then took his time lighting a cigar for himself.
He looked up to see Grayson studying him. He sighed, knowing what was coming. Grayson didn’t disappoint.
“Rafe, I’m your best friend. I‘ve known you longer than anyone here has. We’ve helped each other stay alive for nearly sixteen years. I’ve saved your life almost as many times as you’ve saved mine. You know I admire the shit out of you and would follow you to hell without so much as sunblock. Christ, man, I love you like a brother.”
Rafe scoffed. “Some people hate their brothers. Anyway, I hear a ‘but’ coming. Let me guess…”
Grayson put up his hand. His dark eyebrows latched together in a frown.
“No need to guess. I want to talk to you about Nicki.”
“Not an option, Gray. I’m not interested in talking about Nicki with you, or anyone else.”
Grayson shook his head, his gaze was cool, unwavering. “Sorry, bro. You don’t have a choice.”
Rafe flinched then jolted out of his chair and strode over to the window. He stood with his back to Grayson, stifling the mix of emotions searing him. Staring blindly at the verdant sight below he did his best to tamp down his irritation. He didn’t want to take it out on Grayson. When he had himself under control he turned back to his friend and tried to respond calmly, but he couldn’t hide his frustration.
“Look, Gray. It’s none of your business. What I do or don’t do with Nicki is up to me. And no one else.”
He stifled a groan when Gray quirked an eyebrow and didn’t respond.
Shucking any semblance of control, Rafe barked, “Fuck it, Gray, I’m so god dammed angry with her now. I just hung up from her father. Do you know what Yuri told me? Want to hear this? She thinks she’s going to leave here. Just waltz out of here as though that’s her choice.”
He raked his hands through his tousled hair and muttered, “Like hell it is. She’s not going anywhere unless I let her.”
Gray’s voice was soft. “Of course not. You won’t let that happen, will you, Rafe? You won’t let her out of your control. Even though you won’t take her, you still want her right here where you can make sure that no one else does.”
Rafe whirled, incredulous that his friend dared to assert such a thing.
“What the hell do you mean by that, Gray?”
“Rafe, for Christ’s sake. Do you think there’s a man here who doesn’t know how you two feel about each other? Damn, every one of us wishes we had a Kevlar vest the minute you get within five feet of each other. Jesus, the sparks between you could electrocute an unaware guy.”
“You’re wrong. If anything she despises me and I’m damned close to despising her. I still can’t believe what she did to Katya.”
“Really? I can.”
Rafe threw him a disbelieving glare. “What are you saying, Gray? Jesus, you care about Katya as much as I do.”
“Yes I do, Rafe. Why don’t you ask Katya how she feels about what happened? You might be surprised. Just so you know, Nicki saw the two of you together outside of the training center. Katya said if she ever saw Vlad holding another woman the way you were her, she’d pay Nicki to kick her ass.”
Rafe’s gut tightened.
“Fuck, I…didn’t know…I…Katya’s like a sister to me.”
“I know that and you know that but Nicki didn’t. I saw her face after it happened. She was devastated.”
Gray shrugged, “But then since you don’t mean anything to each other, indeed you despise each other, why should she care, right, Rafe?”
Rafe turned away. He couldn’t look at Grayson. Grayson was right. He did know him as well as anyone in the world did except for Yuri. His gut clenched just thinking about Yuri and their telephone conversation. And right now both men were asking the same question. What the hell was he doing with Nicki? It was a damn good question and one he didn’t choose to answer. Even if he knew the answer.
“Gray, I have work to do. So do you. I don’t want to be rude but I don’t want to have this conversation. Now, or ever. If you’ll excuse me.”
He walked to the door preparing to leave.
Gray leaned back in his chair and puffed on his cigar.
“Open your eyes, Rafe. I saw her face. You did too. She was shattered.”
Rafe frowned and started pacing across the room twisting his head from side to side wishing he could get rid of the strain in his neck. That was unlike
ly. He’d had it since the evening with the Senator. He’d like to blame it on the kidnappings, the case. But he was more self-aware than that.
He leaned against the door to see Grayson studying him. Any semblance of humor on his friend’s face was long gone. His voice was quiet, intense.
“Let me ask you one thing, Rafe. If you can say no to this I will stop harassing you.”
Rafe’s gut tightened more. He knew what was coming.
“Tell me you haven’t come on to her. That you haven’t led her on. Let her think you want her. That you care about her.”
Rafe turned away not wanting Gray to see the truth. Fat chance. Gray was like a brother to him and he knew him like a goddamned book.
Grayson shook his head, and drove the knife in further.
“And if you might have done that, then tell me that you didn’t pull back, stop, and push her away without out telling her why. Instead, that you played the ‘I can’t take you card, because I’m an honorable asshole.’”
“Instead of just an asshole? Is that what you’re saying, Gray?”
“She’s vulnerable, Rafe. It’s painful to watch her, and you.”
Rafe shuddered. He’d rarely been ashamed of anything he’d done. But Gray was right. As always. Yeah, he’d seen her face. Hell he was haunted by it. And, yes, he was ashamed of himself.
He put up his hands in surrender. His voice was strained.
“You don’t know the half of it, Gray.”
“You don’t need to paint any pictures, buddy. I’ve seen the way you look at her. We all have.”
Rafe went back to his desk and sunk down in his chair. He pierced his friend with a ragged gaze.
“You do understand, Gray, there’s no way I can be with her. That there never can be anything between Nicki and me.”
“Because of Yuri?”
He shrugged, then remembering, Yuri’s distress, he nodded.
“You might want to talk with Yuri. Tell him how you feel about her. He might surprise you.”
Rafe flinched at the expression on Gray’s face. It was a mix of anger overlaid with compassion. A look that ate at Rafe’s soul. He knew what was coming now. Once again, Gray didn’t disappoint him.
“There’s more to it and you know it, Rafe. Someday, my man, you’re going to have to let go. Let go of what happened. Recognize you’re human, you’re not a god. You can’t prevent all the bad things that evil men do.”
Rafe glared at Gray, certain that his jaw was as rigid as Gray’s. But Grayson pressed on.
“When are you going to stop blaming yourself, refusing to live your life? Hell, to let yourself love someone?”
Rafe reached for his cigarette case. He removed a coffin nail and cupped a match to it. Leaning back in his chair he blew a cloud of smoke in the air. When it cleared and there was no barrier between him and Grayson, he leaned forward and drilled Gray with a molten stare.
“When the twenty–seven young girls I blew up come back to life. That soon enough for you, Gray?”
Chapter 18
Nicki crept down the dark hallway, moving soundlessly in her stocking feet. She’d put her boots in her duffle bag along with several changes of clothes. She planned to send a courier for the rest of her things once she got to Idaho. If she drove all night she’d be close to Cincinnati by daybreak. Then she’d sleep during the day in a rest stop and be ready to drive for at least another fifteen hours. She’d calculated her timing. Going west at least until she got to the Rockies it was better to drive at night. Easier to lose a tail, and no highway patrol to worry about. She could give her Porsche its head. Without a whimper it hit 100 mph. And 110 was an easy push. The thought of all that power taking her far away from the compound was exciting.
Five minutes after she hung up with her father, she made her decision. Three hours pounding a bag at the Lifetime Fitness studio in Stroudsburg helped formulate her plan and take the edge off her fury. A ten mile run along the biking trail cemented her determination. Rafe had warned her against the wooded trail at night. She scoffed remembering his concern. She wished someone would attack her. Some unsuspecting asshole would get the shock of his life. It would be the last time he mistook a force of nature for a helpless woman.
Following a quick shower in the fitness center she sat at a back table in the all-night diner where she was sure she wouldn’t run into any of the men out sampling the local wares. On her laptop she banged out a long e-mail to Caleb describing her findings. That was the other, much more important benefit of her ferocious workout: The clues that had been tantalizingly close, had fallen into place. She’d found the connections among the girls. They were still a long way from finding the girls, but at least Nicki had a damn good idea how they might have met. She also laid out a series of nationwide interviews the men would have to do to confirm her findings. The e-mail assuaged at least some of her guilt over leaving. She’d never abandoned a job before, but she knew she was useless in the state she was in. Besides, the idea of leaving before Rafe threw her out was worth it. It fact it was exhilarating.
She pulled her Porsche alongside the dormitory wing, not willing to chance parking in the garage. Coming in the back way with her lights off she was certain no one would see her enter. She slipped inside, packed her bag and penned a one-line note to Rafe. She planned to put it on his desk where he wouldn’t find it until morning… when she was miles away, out of his grasp forever. She tried the office door but it was locked. She frowned, then shrugged and knelt down to slip the note under the door.
“If that’s for me, you can give it to me now.”
Nicki leapt up, shaking so hard she fell against the door. She looked up to see him standing less than a foot away. He was leaning against the wall. The anger rolling off of him belied his casual pose. A second later he was on top of her trapping her between the door and his powerful body. He grabbed her arm in one hand then reached in his pocket, pulled out a key and unlocked the door. She tried to twist away but his grip was firm. He lifted her off her feet with one hand and planted her inside the office. Locking the door behind him he strode over to his desk and flipped on the lamp.
Nicki leaned against the locked door, certain that she would suffocate. Her ragged breaths were useless. No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t suck enough air in to fill her lungs. She fought waves of dizziness, feeling faint, sick.
Rafe pulled out a chair and motioned to her to sit down.
She shook her head. Instead she reached behind her grabbing for the doorknob to keep from sliding to the floor.
He quirked a brow as if to say suit yourself, then unfolded the single sheet of paper. He read it then nodded. His voice was steely.
“You’re welcome.”
It was the third note she wrote. She discarded the first two. They were longer. She ended up with the single sentence, ‘Thanks for the opportunity’.
Nicki met his gaze. His jaw was rigid, his eyes hooded. Not caring that her voice shook, she said, “I’m leaving here, Rafe.”
He shrugged.
“How are you going to do that, Nicki?”
He reached in his pocket and pulled out a metal object and tossed it on the desk. It was the distributor cap from her Porsche.
She gasped.
A wicked grin tugged at the corner of his mouth.
“I figured it wouldn’t take you more than two minutes to hotwire your car.”
She scoffed. “My record is 23 seconds. What do you take me for? An amateur?”
“Hell, no, Princess. That’s the last thing you are. You’re a pro in more ways than one. But even you can’t make your car run without a distributor cap.”
Anger stiffened her spine. It was invigorating. So much more powerful than fear.
“Give it to me, Rafe.”
His smile broadened.
“Come and get it.”
His cocky grin infuriated her. Taking deep breaths she did her best to contain her anger, focus it. The only way she was going to get out of here wa
s by being calm. Not letting him intimidate her. She wasn’t a prisoner. He couldn’t lock her up. He could strut around like a barnyard rooster, but if she chose to leave she could, and she would. But first she had to get out of this room. Get away from him, from his overwhelming presence. Just for a moment she gave in to his seductive pull. His granite hard jaw, flashing eyes and rigid body all reeked of danger. And sex. What the hell was wrong with her? Even now, just being near him churned up a thousand sensations all of which compromised her ability to think. Turned her knees to rubber.
Determined not to let him see her fear, or her confusion, she sneered.
“Do you always prowl the hallway at night looking for prey, someone to intimidate, Rafe?”
“No Princess. I don’t. The only time I resort to prowling at night is to flush out frightened little creatures who won’t show their true faces in daylight.”
Nicki felt the heat flood her cheeks. She stood up straight, no longer needing the wall for support. She didn’t try to hide her anger.
“You arrogant bastard. I am not afraid. Most especially not of you.”
“I see. And yet you snuck back into the compound under the cover of darkness and crept to my office on your little cat feet to put a note under my door. Hmm….”
She broke in.
“Not because I’m afraid of you! Because…because I couldn’t bear to look at you for another moment.”
His voice was soft, silky.
“Or because you knew that if you did, you would not be able to run away.”
“Damn you! I am not running away. I am leaving. Tonight, Rafe. I am leaving tonight.”
His voice was soft, a hammer wrapped in velvet.
“We both know that’s not going to happen, Nicki.”
Nicki’s stomach pitched. She swallowed hard to quiet the rush of sensation his silky words provoked. She closed her eyes to avoid looking at him or at the fact that he likely was right.
“How… how did you know? Know that I was leaving?”
“First, to be clear. You are not leaving. Second, I spoke with your father. He told me that you were unhappy, which I already knew. He was concerned you might try to leave. I assured him that wouldn’t happen.”
