Abel had played it down, saying he knew his hothead brother and that he was just controlling any sparks before his brother came back and it turned into an all-out blaze. He said he didn’t want them all getting kicked off the ship. But Nellie saw more in his eyes than just a protective big brother keeping his little brother out of trouble. It was what she’d seen in Hector’s eyes tonight. They were watching out for each other’s property.
The way Charlee explained it was far more romantic than this theory sounded. Charlee said that she and Hector owned each other’s hearts. She’d long ago assured him she was completely his because he so often told her she owned his heart.
Nellie’s own heart suddenly skipped a beat. Was it possible that Abel had said something to Hector about his feelings for her? Could Hector be getting all hardnosed about her meeting a guy last night because he was feeling protective over Abel’s feelings?
She cleared her throat, glancing back, and making sure Hector was far enough away. Abel was still sitting where he had been when she walked in. Roni turned from the kitchen counter where she was slicing the cheesecake and smiled at her.
“Listen,” Nellie said, knowing this might get Roni all riled up, but she had no choice. “Maybe we shouldn’t talk about my date last night in front of Hector and Abel.” She lifted her hand at the sight of Roni’s raised brows. “Not that I’m afraid he’ll be upset or anything because I’m absolutely certain he won’t. I just don’t want him thinking I’m trying to rub it in to get a reaction or anything.”
Roni stared at her for a moment very straight-faced before licking the cheese cake she’d smeared on her finger and turning back to face the counter. “Maybe I was trying to rub it in.”
This alarmed Nellie. She was not going to start playing those games. “Why?”
Roni turned back to her, looking a little worried now. “Okay, you still promise there are no feelings involved and you’re not expecting anything more from this except letting your free spirit loose, right?”
“Yes,” Nellie said in the most assuring voice she could gather. It was far from the truth now, but she had to keep up the front.
“I guess Noah was beginning to worry like me that maybe Abel was going to start changing his mind and that he might even get upset when he heard about your date, so he asked him straight out, and Abel assured him he’s only in this for your free spirit, insisting you take care of his needs and that he doesn’t have to worry about any drama or demands. And then those photos of him in New York and the stories of him and juice bar girl he’s doing just after you got back from that trip were all over the Internet and TV.” She stopped and exhaled exasperatingly. “I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t bother you, but it pisses me off. I love you, and I just want him to know he’s not doing you any favors, helping you unload your free spirit. There are plenty of others out there who’d be willing to help out.”
Feeling the stab of reality lodge in her stupidly hopeful heart so suddenly, Nellie couldn’t help rolling her eyes in reaction. “Geez, Roni,” she said, swallowing back the infuriating lump in her throat, “I’m not a charity case.”
Roni reached for her arm, and after seeing the apparently undeniable hurt in Nellie’s eyes, she hugged her. “No, no, no! I didn’t mean it that way.” She pulled back to look at her. “I’m so sorry, honey. I know you’re not. I just meant that if he’s going to openly date other women, knowing full well that it’s bound to get back to you, then why the hell should we keep your social life away from him quiet? You’re an exquisitely beautiful woman with a ton more class and so much more to offer than any of those girls he goes around bagging. I just want him to know that if he doesn’t see it others do.” She crossed her heart quickly, glancing back toward the front room where Hector had now joined the rest of the guys. “I promise I’ll keep my nose out of it from here on, though. You’re brilliant, and you seem to have things under control. I need to trust that you know what you’re doing. If you’d rather not talk about it in front of him or Hector, then I’ll keep my big fat mouth shut.”
Nellie smiled, gathering her composure. Roni hadn’t said anything to her that she shouldn’t already know. Their agreement had been a very simple one, one they’d each accepted. Her hurt feelings were irrational. He’d never promised her anything. She knew betrayal of the worst kind and this wasn’t it. This was just her heart getting one step ahead of itself, something she knew better than to let happen.
“It’s already out there, so if it’s brought up, there’s no need to hide it. Let’s just not openly flaunt it.” She winked at her still-worried-looking friend. “You’re right. I do have a ton more class than the girls he’s used to banging. Let’s keep it that way.”
Relief washed across Roni’s face. It was so melodramatic it made Nellie laugh. “C’mon that cheesecake looks delicious.”
She helped Roni bring the cake plates and utensils out to the front room. Maybe she would take Sam up on his offer to have brunch with him tomorrow. She certainly would need a huge distraction to wean her off Abel. Especially now that she knew she wasn’t going to be able handle continuing this with Abel if he was going to be bagging other women at the same time. Tonight was proof. Her heart literally ached just before she walked through the door because she dreaded walking in and seeing Abel with Rachel. It was why she’d really been late. Her last-minute deviled-eggs story was bullshit. She’d been so close to calling and canceling but was certain Roni would know she was lying and that things were already changing like she was so afraid of.
Thankfully Abel hadn’t brought her, but that could change soon, and just seeing him tonight, trying to contain her delight that Rachel wasn’t sitting with him or at the table with the girls was hard enough. Getting the reality check that, in fact, she was alone in crossing the line and thinking there was something more growing between them was further proof that she needed to jump ship soon. She’d never been good at hiding her emotions. Roni would see right through her soon, so she had to seriously consider the real possibility of cutting her losses very soon and making a clean break before things got too painful.
Sticking a fork full of cheesecake in her mouth, she thought about what Roni had said. She was brilliant and had things under control. Her wounded heart was proof of how under control she really had things. Shoving more cheesecake in her mouth, she thought about what she’d been trying to convince herself of all this time. She’d be a stronger woman for having done this and all that shit.
Chapter 11
Walking out into the night’s cool fresh air, Nellie prayed Abel wouldn’t follow her, but her heart yearned to hear the door behind her open. As she made her way down Noah and Roni’s driveway, she thought of the way Abel’s eyes had pierced through her all night and the gentle smiles he offered when their eyes would meet. Each time her heart had fluttered like a butterfly on crack. She was beyond over her head now.
After Roni had let her in on Abel’s reconfirmation that this was nothing more than what they’d agreed it would be from the very beginning, she sat there drowning her sorrows in cheesecake. She’d eaten nearly three full slices. Knowing that soon she’d be dealing with a pain she swore she’d never allow herself to get caught up in again, she wasn’t even worried about the astronomical amounts of calories she’d inhaled tonight. She was certain that, like every time she’d had to deal with a dark moment in her life, she’d lose weight without even trying.
This shouldn’t be so dark. Their relationship was very much physical. It should be easy to move past it soon, but her head reminded her she’d known Abel for a while now. Her attraction to him, not just his body and good looks but him, had been growing for some time: The noble and loyal friend he was to Noah and Gio. The overprotective brother he was to Hector and now even Charlee. The way he didn’t care that the guys busted his balls for being a momma’s boy. The man bowed down to the woman and had no qualms about admitting it. Even being the celebrity he was now, he’d still run over in a heartbeat to help fix your car. She’
d seen and heard about him doing just that from Roni so many times. He said he loved working on engines and insisted that taking it to a mechanic was always a rip off.
Add to all that the intensity Charlee talked about in Hector’s eyes. Nellie knew exactly what Charlee was talking about because she’d seen the very thing in Abel—felt it in his kisses. It must be an Ayala thing. She was now beginning to understand that utterly mesmerized thing she so often saw on Charlee’s face. Charlee admitted it openly and as unabashedly as Hector did. She was madly in love with the guy. If Nellie didn’t put an end to this now, she too would be doomed to fall hopelessly in love with Abel, and that could ruin everything because this relationship was completely different than his brother and his girlfriend’s exclusive one.
Even now, she felt the boulder in her throat just thinking about the possibility of having to be around him with other women. It would kill her. The tightness she felt in her chest all night after Roni had informed her of what Abel had told Noah went even tighter now, and she could feel herself starting to wheeze again. What in the world was she thinking when she started this?
“Nellie?”
Startled, she turned to see Abel walking toward her. She’d been staring into the trunk of her SUV where she’d set her tray down. “You okay? I called your name out twice.”
Nodding, she tried blinking away the warm tears that she hadn’t even noticed had filled her eyes. “I’m good,” she said, leaning into the back of SUV, moving imaginary things around as she blinked wildly in the hopes that the tears would be gone by the time he reached her.
When they weren’t, she yawned a bit exaggeratedly in desperation and turned, smiling at him. “I’m sorry. I was lost in thought, I guess.”
His smiled waned with that comment. “Did your long night last night wear you out?”
Surprised by his question, she continued to smile even as her insides roiled. The way he was staring at her now only confused her already aching heart. “Yeah, the concert was over pretty late, and then we had some drinks after, so it was a longish night.”
While his eyes searched hers, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he took another step further and kissed her, softly, sweetly, the way that melted her heart every single time. As usual, she couldn’t summon even an ounce of resistance. Her previously roiling insides were now doing summersaults. With his big hands cradling her face, he pulled away but still sprinkled kisses around her lips. Closing her eyes, she sighed, giving into him once again. This is where she wanted to be forever. Even as her head screamed at her to jump ship and do it now, her heart clung to the unspoken emotion she felt from him.
She knew it was unwise and dangerous given how she was already feeling, but her instincts were screaming now too, drowning out her head that this wasn’t a kiss from a man who wanted nothing more than to relieve his needs. There was so much more to it. There had to be. Right?
He finally stopped long enough to stare at her for a moment. “Can I follow you home?” he whispered. “I wanna make love to you so badly.”
Without even a moment’s thought, she nodded. As pathetic as it was to clutch on to something so small, he’d never called it making love before. He’d told her he wanted to fuck her or taste her or needed to be inside her on more than one occasion, but he never said make love. “Yes,” she whispered back, staring into his eyes. “I want you to make love to me.”
He smiled one of the sweetest smiles she’d ever seen on him. “Let’s go.”
***
Determined not to become emotional like she had last night as Abel swayed in and out of her slowly and rhythmically while staring deeply into her eyes and making love to her again in the early morning, Nellie decided to just enjoy it. Arching her back, she closed her eyes as she felt the now familiar building of another mind-blowing climax, and she dug her fingers into his big, hard back.
Speeding up, Abel’s brows pinched, and he began to moan, driving in deeper and deeper. Grunting now as he rocked into her this time, he was a little rougher than he had been the night before. He pumped her harder than he had the entire night last night, but she loved it. She moaned in reaction and in anticipation of her already throbbing pre-climax.
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” She cried out as she came more intensely each time he slammed into her, until he came to a final loud grunting drive deep into her, lifting her waist up against his body. He remained that way for a few moments until he collapsed atop of her.
“That was amazing,” he said breathlessly against her ear. “But then it’s always amazing.” He kissed her forehead, slipping his hand into hers and squeezing it, keeping his body on hers, exactly where she wanted it.
They lay there, breathing heavily as she ran her fingers through his hair, pushing away the emotion that once again began to creep in. She would not do this. How could she? So what if he wasn’t hers entirely? As tempted as she was to put it out there—tell him what she was feeling because she was almost positive now he was feeling it too—she just couldn’t. What if she were wrong? What if what he’d told Noah was really true? He didn’t want drama. That’s exactly what this would be because she felt so overwhelmed with emotion that she was certain she’d break down if she opened up to him. It was too big of a risk. He’d run and she’d lose what little he was willing to give her.
She was only glad now that it was too dark last night for Abel to see the tears that spilled out just as she came so dramatically when he made love to her the first time. The entire night’s mixture of emotions had just mounted until that very moment, and it couldn’t be helped. This was now beyond her control. Her heart was in this now, and as much as she wanted to believe she could walk away from this unscathed, she knew better. And yet she still couldn’t bring herself to walk away from this man.
What scared her most was that, even as horrendous as her divorce with her ex had been, she feared this might be more painful. She remembered that the pain during her divorce had been more about her sister betraying her than Rick. She’d felt the disconnect between herself and Rick long before she’d even found out that he’d been having an affair with her own sister. The old-fashioned thinking instilled by her mother had told her that divorce was not an option, so she’d turned the other cheek when she suspected something was awry, but she knew the end was near. Even when her delusional heart chose to believe him when he promised he’d change after the first time she caught him cheating, she still knew deep inside what they’d had long ago was gone. She was no longer in love with him either; she was just afraid of having to start over and being alone.
Certainly she’d never felt the passion she felt with Abel from her ex. She wouldn’t dismiss the entire relationship because she’d admit that she had been in love with Rick once upon a time. She’d just never felt that magical thing both Roni and Bianca had described feeling with Noah and Gio. Then sweet little Charlee had spoken of this passion she felt even at her young age—something Nellie had no choice but to admit she’d never experienced . . . until now.
Abel rolled off her but still held her close, facing her. “What are your plans today?”
This was another unspoken rule that he was breaking. They didn’t ask each other what the other did on their own time, but she liked that he was breaking rules. Maybe it meant that she could too. “Nothing really. Work on the mixer a little and then figure out what I’ll be wearing tomorrow to 5th Street.”
His eyes looked at her curiously. “What do you mean what to wear? To work out?”
“No,” she laughed. “The representative from that vineyard that donated so much for the mixer will be in town tomorrow. I offered to give her a tour of the gym that started the foundation we’re doing the mixer for. I uh . . .” She glanced away for a moment as she’d always done when she wanted to be sure she didn’t sound like she was trying hint at anything. “I told Gio and Noah about it last week when you were . . . out of town.”
The curiosity in his eyes was replaced with what almost looked like remorse, but it switched
quickly and he squeezed her. She felt him inhale deeply and very satisfied against her ear. “That’s right. Noah did mention that.” He lifted himself onto his elbow suddenly. “What time do you have to be there?”
“She’s been here all weekend and decided she’d stay an extra day.” His silly expression now made her smile curiously. “But she wants it out of the way early, so we’re meeting there around eight.” She tilted her head even more curious. “What’s that look about?”
“I have an early morning radio interview that I’m doing at the station.” His smile was even bigger now. “Come with me. We can ride together to 5th Street because I’ll head back to training right afterward. The interview should be done way before eight, so we might even have time to grab breakfast. And,” he leaned in and kissed her nose, “if you wanna save me some time and having to get up that much earlier to pick you up first, I can just spend the night here again.” He lifted a hopeful eyebrow. “I can meet you back here tonight with all the clothes and stuff that I’ll need for tomorrow.”
She’d begun to hide how excited the thought of him wanting to spend the night again and so soon made her, but he was staring at her, looking just as excited as she felt, so she nodded, smiling big. “That sounds good to me.”
He hugged her, groaning against her ear with what felt like the same utter bliss she was feeling. She couldn’t be imagining all this, could she?
After rolling around in bed a little longer to the point where it felt like they’d be going at it again, Abel shared a better idea. He needed to meet the guys at the gym soon, so he invited her to take a shower with him. Within minutes, they were lathering each other up. As her hand ran over every incredible muscle on his body, he lifted her chin and stared at her for a moment. “You really are beautiful.”
She smiled, gulping back the incredible emotion that he made her feel now. Only this time it wasn’t bad or the dread of falling too hard. This time it was a delightful emotion that danced inside her. “If you say so.” She smiled, kissing him.
Abel (5th Street #4) Page 13
