by Vivian Wood
Sean kissed her neck and caught her gaze in the mirror. “Go get ‘em,” he said.
Harper’s heart fluttered as she entered the hotel bar drenched in natural light. She scanned the room in search of the face she’d memorized from Sophia’s professional headshot. However, she would have picked her out from a crowd even without the photo. There was no way to overlook a former model. The older woman screamed sophistication as she smiled up at the waiter who brought her a club soda.
“Harper,” Sophia said as Harper approached the table. “You look even lovelier in person.”
“Thank you for meeting me, Mrs.—”
“Please, call me Sophia,” she said. “Sit. I was thinking a white wine, but I wanted to wait and see if you’d like to join me.”
“Uh, sure,” Harper said.
“Two glasses of your driest white, and the olives,” Sophia said. “So,” she said as she leaned toward Harper. “I know this isn’t the West Coast way of doing things, but I’m a New York girl. Thus the black suit. Tell me about yourself.”
“Well, I started with a jeans campaign when I was—”
“No. Tell me about yourself,” Sophia said again. The waiter presented two chilled glasses of wine and swiftly moved away.
“I’ve been in outpatient recovery for about a month now,” Harper said. “Anorexia and bulimia. There were a few days I missed because … well, because I had a miscarriage and was hospitalized.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Sophia said.
You’re so stupid. Way to let a potential boss know you’re totally unstable. “Thank you,” she said. “I hope this doesn’t come off as crass but, given the circumstances, my partner and I have decided it’s a bit of a blessing in disguise. We’re young, there’s a big future ahead of us.”
“And how is the therapy going? For the eating disorder?” Sophia sipped her wine but didn’t break her gaze with Harper.
“It’s going,” Harper said. “Like many in the ED community, I consider it possible to manage an eating disorder for life, but not necessarily recover. A bit like alcoholism, I suppose. Of course, ED is a mental disorder, not necessarily an addiction unless you’re talking about some cases of binge eating disorder or night eating syndrome. Still, there are definitely elements of similarity.”
“You talk like a professional,” Sophia said. “About your eating disorder, I mean.”
Harper blushed slightly. “I’d hardly consider myself a professional,” she said. “But it seems once a person is solidly on a path to management, they really immerse themselves in the research and best practices.” She shrugged. “It’s just a byproduct of incredible self-retrospection, I suppose.”
Sophia nodded. “I agree. And I’m glad you’re getting help.”
But, Harper thought. Here comes the big, fat but. Why’d I have to go into all of this? I totally blew it.
“In fact,” Sophia said, “I want you to be the help. For young models who need it most. I know we talked previously a little about potential job opportunities for you within my company, but I have something else in mind.”
“Something else?”
“What do you think about being an eating disorder educator for young models? It’s a new idea I’ve been thinking about for awhile, and I believe you’re perfect for it. For now, it would be part-time, though I can certainly see the potential for it growing into a full-time position. You’d be able to work in just about any city, so long as you don’t mind traveling some. It’s especially great that you’re in Los Angeles, one of the biggest modeling hubs in the world. I envision you outreaching to up-and-coming models, particularly young women and girls who are thrust into this often vicious industry without any kind of support or foundation.”
“I … I’m flattered,” she said. “But, you know, I don’t have any formal training in eating disorders. I’m far from a psychologist or any kind of specialist.”
“But you have something even better,” Sophia said. “Personal experience. And young girls, they don’t want some dried-up, boring psychologist telling them what they should be thinking and feeling about themselves. They need someone they can relate to, and someone who’s been in their shoes. Empathy is one of the most challenging skills to learn, but you’ve already got it in spades. I can see that.”
“I wasn’t expecting this,” Harper said. The cold wine shot straight from her tongue to her belly. It infused her with just the right amount of liquid courage she needed. “I’d love to do it,” she said. “In a few months.”
“A few months?” Sophia cocked her head.
“Yes, if that’s at all possible. Perhaps October? I just … I think I need to explore my own path to management a little more first. And, you know, as long as my boyfriend thinks it’s a good idea. He’s been a key part of my getting better.”
“I see,” Sophia said. “Harper, I have to tell you, that was either a really stupid move or a gutsy one. Few people in your position would try to leverage for a later start date. But I like you. I know we just met, but I have a good feeling about you. You practice self-care, and that’s exactly what these girls you’d be mentoring need to learn. I can give you until October, but I’d need you to do some prep work before then. Developing strategies, helping to create your team, those sorts of tasks. Are you up for it?”
“Yes,” Harper said. “I believe I am. But can I give you a firm answer on Friday? I need to think it over a bit more.”
“You drive a hard bargain,” Sophia said with a smile. “I like that.”
Harper drove home full of excited energy.
“Hey!” Sean said. “How’d it go? Did your collar bring you luck?”
“It did,” she purred as she nuzzled up to him. “Sophia wants me to be an ED educator for young models. Totally different than what she’d originally planned, but I’m excited for it. You know? I can maybe, this is clichéd, but make a difference. Keep at least one girl from going down the path I did.”
“That’s awesome, sweetheart,” he said as he pulled her against his chest. “Congratulations.”
“So you think it’s a good idea?”
“Of course I do! And, hey, I’m not trying to upstage your good news, but I have some of my own.”
“What’s that?”
“I officially accepted Connor’s job offer.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. Although, I’m going to keep working a few days a month at a tattoo shop, too.”
“You’re going back to Mission Hells?”
“Not exactly,” he said. “Joon-ki told me about this shop that caters exclusively to sober people. They offer pro bono work to cover up tattoos with drug- or alcohol-related ink and gang tattoos, too. I figured that could be my creative outlet, and maybe snap up some good karma points, too.”
“That’s amazing,” she said. “I’m so proud of you. Hey, do you think I could draw a tattoo?”
“On me?”
“No! I mean, in general,” she said.
“Sure. Anyone could,” he said.
“So … I’ve been kind of doodling? You know, in group sessions—”
“Show me,” he said.
“Don’t laugh!” Harper dug the notebook out of her bag and handed it to him.
“A heart?” he asked.
“Kind of. It’s the official symbol of supporting eating disorder management. The fluid lines, they’re part heart and part a healthy body image.”
“I love it,” he said. “Do you want me to help refine it a little bit?”
“I think it needs all the help it can get.”
“Not really,” he said as he leaned down to kiss her. “It just needs a little help. How about we give it some more depth? Maybe add some color?”
She rested her head on his shoulder as he brought her little heart to life.
29
Sean
“And over here, we have the atrium.” Sean followed the broker to a glassed-in area in the middle of the space. Sunlight poured through t
he ceiling. The broker flicked her fingers across a control panel and a sheath of tinted curtain started to slide across the skylights. “You can control all the skylights and windows in the space with an app, too, of course,” she said. “The one previous client used the atrium for corporate yoga classes every morning.”
“What do you think?” Sean asked. He looked over at Harper.
She scanned the sleek, midcentury modern office space. “I think it’s perfect,” she said. “The furniture, too.”
“I helped the previous client secure the furniture,” the broker said. “And I can promise you the furnished rate is an absolute steal. Almost all of the furniture is from local carpenters and designers. It’s the highest quality and, given the style, has incredible evergreen potential.”
Sean wrapped his arm around Harper. “Is it alright if we just hang out here for awhile?” he asked the broker.
“Of course! I’ll text you the code to lock up when you’re finished. But I should tell you, and this isn’t a sales tactic, if you want it I highly recommend you sign today. You’re the last person viewing it until tomorrow, but I don’t see it lasting on the market for long.”
“Thanks,” Sean said. “I’ll let you know either way this afternoon.”
He waited until they heard the click of the broker’s heels fade into quiet before he squeezed Harper and pulled her against his chest. “Tell me what you really think,” he whispered.
“What I really think? I think … I can see us both working here.”
“Did Connor offer you a job I don’t know about?”
“No,” she said. Harper nudged his chest with her chin. “I mean, Sophia said I can work from anywhere, and an office space would be a tax write-off anyway. So I was thinking … maybe I could lease one of the offices here.”
“You wouldn’t get sick of me?” he asked. “Seeing me every day at home and work both?”
Harper laughed. “I think if I was going to get sick of you, it would have happened when you were sporting that hot ankle bracelet and we were basically housebound together.”
“You might be right about that,” he said. “But don’t think I didn’t know when you made up excuses to stay out of the house more than was necessary.”
“You caught me,” she said. “But then again, the circumstances were a little bit different back then.”
“Not completely. One thing about our relationship has always been the same.”
“What’s that?” she asked as she looked up at him.
“No matter what was going on between us, or if I had an ankle bracelet or not, the sex was always fucking incredible.”
Harper blushed slightly. “What can I say? Ankle bracelets do it for me.”
“So, you’re absolutely sure about this place? Buying commercial space is a much bigger deal than leasing it.”
“I’m sure,” she said.
“Okay, that’s all I needed to hear. We’ll put in an offer now. But don’t be talking about leasing a space from me. You know it’s yours. Ours. Everything is, from this point on.”
They walked side by side through the atrium and into the sprawling open reception space. The marble tiled floors featured just the slightest of gray veins. Harper ran her hand across the long welcome desk with the thick living edge wooden top. “Aren’t we supposed to shake hands or something?” she asked. She looked up at him coyly.
“That seems a bit formal,” he said. “How about this instead?” Sean leaned down to meet her lips. Harper parted her mouth and eagerly welcomed his tongue. Before he closed his eyes, he saw the view of Los Angeles roll out before them. From the top floor, ten stories up, the magic of the city seemed anew. Palm trees swayed gently in the wind and the Hollywood sign peeked out of the green.
Harper let out a moan into his mouth as his hands slid down to her ass and squeezed firmly. As the tip of her tongue met his, he lifted her onto the reception desk. She struggled to open her legs, to pull him close, but the close cut of the skirt left her trapped. Sean gripped the hem of her skirt and tested the material.
She responded to his kisses, starved for more. “Please fuck me,” she whispered.
“Are you sure?” he asked. This kind of heat hadn’t boiled between them since before the hospital.
“Fuck me right now,” she demanded.
Sean easily ripped the material and created a slit in the skirt from her knee to her hip. As soon as she could part her legs, Harper dug her nails into his back and pressed him against her. Sean reached between her legs and was met with the heat of her folds, already slick with her wetness.
“No panties,” she said and smiled into his mouth.
“You’re full of surprises.” He hooked a finger around the rose gold collar and brought her mouth closer to his. With his other hand, he circled her opening until she wiggled in frustration. “Stop,” he said hoarsely. “I think you’re forgetting who’s in charge here.” He pulled firmly on her collar and her eyes opened.
“Yes, sir,” she said.
“Lie back,” he said. He released her and unbuckled his jeans while she moved back on the table. “Spread your legs, hold them open,” he said.
Harper glanced briefly out the glass windows. Neighbors in nearby buildings could be seen as they bustled about in suits and dresses.
“Are you going to obey?” he asked, the belt buckle in hand.
Harper looked down at the metal in his fist, at the thick leather band, and held her thighs wide. Spread-eagle on the desk, she propped herself up on her elbows and watched him release his cock. Without thought, she bit her lower lip in desire.
“Now,” he said, as he bent forward and easily tore the white silk blouse out of the waistband of her white skirt, “you’re going to do as I say.” He tore open the flimsy material and hardened more at the display of her bare breasts. “You have been naughty today,” he said. “No bra either. Were you planning this?”
Harper’s eyes widened. “Not really … I mean—”
“Quiet,” he said. Sean slid his hand beneath the tightness of her collar and engulfed her porcelain neck in his hand. “You might not be able to speak much to use your safe words,” he said. “Tap my elbow if you want me to stop. Understand?”
“Yes, sir,” she said.
He increased the pressure slightly on her neck as he entered her. Sean could feel the moan in her throat. It vibrated into his hand. She was wetter than he’d ever seen her as he controlled her breath. When he looked down to watch his length slide into her pink center, he almost gasped at the rivers of wetness that rushed down her thighs and onto the rich warmth of the desk.
Harper kept her hands on her thighs to force them as open to his thrusts as possible. Sean sensed when she was close and pressed his thumb into her swollen clit. “Come for me,” he told her. She obeyed immediately. Halfway through her orgasm, he released her neck and she let out a low, animal keen. The sound was so wild, so naturally a part of her, that it forced him to come inside her. She clutched at his hips when she felt the release and pulled him deeper inside her.
“I think I ruined your table,” she said with a small laugh as he pulled out of her. Sean watched his come begin to spill out of her and onto the wood.
“I guess I really do have to buy it now, sweetheart,” he said. Sean leaned down to kiss her. “It’s a good thing I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she said. He pulled her up and she guiltily looked out the window to check for an audience. If anyone had seen, they pretended otherwise. She laughed. “Did you ever think we’d be here?”
He brushed some loose strands from her face. “I didn’t expect any of this,” he said. “But I have to say, even with all our hardships, I couldn’t have hoped or dreamed of anything better.”
Harper wrapped her arms around him, pulled him close, and rested her head on his chest.
From his darkest depths, his most secret of places, Sean’s heart swelled in a way he’d never known.
30
Harper
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Two weeks later
“I don’t know why you’re doing this!” Harper said with a laugh. “It’s just one month.”
“One month of continuous rehabilitation is a big deal, it’s worth celebrating,” Sean said. “And it would have been longer if it wasn’t for—well, you know.”
“Yeah, I know,” Harper said. “But everything worked out as it should.”
“Is it going to feel strange? Not going there almost every day?” he asked.
Harper toyed with the diploma her doctor had presented to her. One month of more than full-time outpatient rehabilitation meant she’d continue with weekly or biweekly check-ins for several months. However, for the most part she was on her own, equipped with the tools and skills she’d need to guide her own lifetime of management. “Kind of,” she admitted. “It’ll be hard to lose that kind of nonstop support. But good that I’m getting weaned before I become dependent on it.”
Sean finished taping the last streamer to the exposed pipe of the ceiling. As he climbed down the small ladder, she watched his muscles work below his thin t-shirt. Harper clutched the diploma tighter. That little piece of paper and what it represented had saved so much. She’d never have this, never have him, if it weren’t for it. “Well, that’s it,” he said. “Last chance. Are you sure you don’t want to have the entire party here?”
Harper bit her lip and shook her head. “I’ve been craving sushi for two months,” she said. “I mean, basically since I couldn’t have it.”
“I can’t believe we managed a table at Sushi of Gari,” Sean said. “It was meant to be. Someone out there really thinks you deserve it.” He leaned over and kissed her head as he passed the couch. “And I agree. Ready in fifteen?”
Harper touched up the loose waves that hung down to her stomach in the hall mirror. She heard Sean rustle in the bathroom. Through the floor-to-ceiling windows, the California sun set into a soft pink.
