by Karin Baine
When she was with Nate there wasn’t a moment to dwell on the past, or the future. With him, it was all about the present. She missed his company at night, especially when she had absolutely nothing to come home to. He was part of the reason she was spending longer at the hospital. It certainly wasn’t all about being in her father’s presence. She was as sympathetic as anyone could be for everything he’d gone through but his self-pity was exhausting.
He was still in some pain and Violet knew a lot of his bad temper was down to fear and frustration. It didn’t make it any easier for her to come here two or three times a day and bear the brunt of his complaints. Especially when she was working so hard behind the scenes to make his life as uncomplicated as possible when he got home. That revelation was another headache waiting to happen. She knew he would explode when he found out and she would have to justify the fact she’d cared enough to try and alleviate some of his stress. Samuel Dempsey never asked for help and he certainly wouldn’t appreciate it.
Even now Violet could see a commotion around him at the nurses’ station. Over the past couple of days he’d progressed to bathing on his own and taking short walks around the room. She suspected they’d come to rue their encouragement of his mobility. Now they’d all be in the line of fire.
‘Dad? Is everything okay?’
She fought the urge to turn on her heel and let someone else deal with him. That selfish attitude was probably part of the reason Strachmore was in the mess it was. She’d had to put herself first at eighteen but that meant the Earl and his bloody-mindedness had been left unchecked for too long. He hadn’t been accountable to anyone in her absence and it was a big ask to expect him to take on any advice now. They were both going to have to shoulder some responsibility for the current state of affairs and take steps to rectify the damage. As much as she longed to have this all neatly wrapped up so she could get back to her own life, Violet wasn’t convinced she was strong enough to make a difference.
‘I’m fed up with being poked and prodded every day in this...this torture chamber. How am I supposed to rest when I’m woken every five minutes for scans and tests? There’s absolutely no respect for me here and I’ve had enough. I want to go home.’ He slammed his fist down on the desk and Violet jumped, along with several of the nurses.
If her prayers were answered she’d disappear into the bowels of the earth any second now and not have to face these people as her father spat abuse at them. It was different when she was the one subjected to his tirades—she was family, had grown up listening to them—but these people should be exempt.
‘The doctors and nurses have worked tirelessly to get you well again. You’ve got to understand these tests are necessary—they’re not done out of spite.’ Sometimes it was like talking to a petulant child when she tried to reason with him. When he was in one of his rages there was no logic involved, only emotion. The overriding one usually being anger. In these circumstances it was liable to kill him.
‘I was explaining to your father that we want to move him onto a main ward to continue his recovery. We would prefer to continue the ECG monitoring for a few more days there before he goes home.’
She hadn’t seen Nate standing in the melee until her father had turned to glare at her impudence. But there he was, standing toe to toe with him and trying to run interference for her. Even when he seemed to be avoiding her his chivalry still shone through.
‘Do you know who I am?’
Violet cringed as he played the nobility card. The one that had done nothing but bring her embarrassment over the years.
‘Yes, Lord Dempsey, and I assure you you’ll receive the same standard of treatment as all of our patients.’ Social status had never held any sway with Nate either. It wouldn’t need to, given his professional approach to his work. Violet was certain every one of his patients was treated with the utmost respect no matter what their background, perhaps even despite it in cases such as this.
‘That’s what I’m afraid of. Thanks but no, thanks. I want to go home to a clean bed where the staff are paid more than the minimum wage to take care of me.’
‘Dad! That’s completely out of order.’ Not to mention factually incorrect. It showed how delusional her father was when he was under the impression his staff were being paid more than a qualified cardiologist.
‘I appreciate this is a difficult time for you but we need to take precautions for the good of your own health. Your physical activity needs to be increased gradually and we would like to make sure you attend cardiac rehabilitation.’
It could’ve been another run-in between the pair when Nate was nothing more than a schoolboy, given the manner in which her father continued to speak to him. Not once had Nate been forced to raise his voice to make his point even though he was surely wounded by the insults flying around. Violet had never seen anyone stand their ground with the Earl in full flow. Even when she’d mounted her great rebellion she’d done it over the telephone rather than face to face.
‘I’m sure those are matters which my own doctor can facilitate. He’s a man with over forty years of experience. I trust him.’ Another dig at Nate, both personally and professionally.
Not that her father would’ve taken any more notice of a different staff member, Violet was sure, but this continual slight against Nate was very hard even for her to stomach. By denying his achievements he somehow rendered her own unremarkable. The great Earl would never admit he’d been wrong in trying to force them into their society pigeonholes or congratulate them on their successes. Until now Violet hadn’t realised she’d been waiting for his approval.
* * *
Nate had dealt with his fair share of obstinate patients over the years. People had different coping mechanisms when it came to facing their own mortality and sometimes that manifested itself against the very staff treating them. Usually he took it in his stride. After all, who was to say he wouldn’t lash out if he were the one on the other end of the stethoscope? Today he was finding new limits to his tolerance he didn’t know he was capable of.
In the space of ten minutes his integrity and his professionalism had been called into question by someone who’d known him since he’d been a child. That was the problem, he supposed. His parents’ employer was still judging him on the nonconforming teen he imagined had robbed him of his daughter. It was ironic that Nate hadn’t gained anything from that loss except the successful career that was now being maligned. Regardless of how hard he tried, those from Strachmore would never see him as anything but the next generation of domestic staff. The only difference was the Dempseys weren’t paying him to take this abuse.
He’d even had to battle his own family to pursue his chosen career. In their eyes by going to medical school he’d thrown away the honour of working for the aristocracy. As if their allegiance meant he should’ve sacrificed his prospects too. They hadn’t understood his resistance to doing manual labour so a privileged family could sit comfortably on their pedestals. There’d been no support, financially or otherwise, as they’d seen him as some sort of traitor.
That attitude had created a distance between Nate and his parents. He’d hated them at times for their blind devotion to the Earl when they’d effectively disowned their own son for the sin of ambition. In a roundabout way they had been part of his success when his anger had driven him to reach the pinnacle of his career. These days he accepted them for who they were in the hope they would some day do the same for him. He’d learned it wasn’t healthy to hold on to grudges or look for answers where there was none, and taken back control of his life by simply accepting circumstances beyond his control. No matter how much it jarred.
‘In that case all I can do is ask you to wait until we have your discharge papers ready. We need to have it in writing that you are going against our recommendations by leaving before your treatment here is complete. There’s also the matter of arranging your med
ication before you leave.’ If it was merely a case of one stubborn patient showing he was still in control of his own fate, Nate would sign off and move on to the next patient who actually wanted his help. That was practically impossible when Violet was standing opposite worrying her bottom lip with her teeth.
‘I will not linger here a second longer than is absolutely necessary.’ The Earl continued to bluster, his cheeks reddening as he pointed a knobbly finger at Nate as though he were holding him to ransom. It was the other way around. As tempted as Nate was to have Security bundle him out of the door, he couldn’t bear to be responsible for anything happening to Violet’s only surviving family member.
‘That’s entirely your prerogative, but it would be in your best interests to wait for the reasons I’ve stated. I would also ask you would do so quietly to prevent any further disruption to your fellow patients on the ward.’
His thoughts were also for Violet, who was standing with her arms wrapped around her waist in a self-comforting gesture being completely blanked by her father. The more distressed he could see her becoming, the harder it was for Nate to keep his own temper in check.
‘How dare—?’
‘Dad! He said he’ll sort it. Go and lie down before you do yourself any more damage.’ Violet cut him off as he launched into another rant, her hands now planted on her hips.
The strength of her bravery was belied by her trembling bottom lip, which only Nate seemed to notice. The Earl, whether exhausted by his own ire or his daughter’s, finally returned to his bed with a grumble.
Violet visibly relaxed when the argument was brought to a close. Nate had never been privy to the rows she must’ve witnessed at Strachmore and, although he’d been dismayed at times by his own parents’ behaviour, he’d never been afraid in his own home. He had seen the fear in her eyes as she’d confronted her father about his attitude and Nate had just witnessed how vile this man could be. Although he’d tried to back off before he and Violet acted out any more erotic scenes on his furniture, he couldn’t seem to stay away.
If he’d truly meant to keep his distance he could’ve transferred Samuel Dempsey’s care elsewhere and reduced the chances of running into his daughter, but Nate was very much a part of this dysfunctional relationship. Despite the constant reminders he would never be a suitable match for Violet, it had been hell trying to put that night at his place out of his mind. The handprints left on his table were a frustrating reminder they were physically compatible, combustible even, if not couple material.
Now today’s drama was over they were left staring at each other pretending there wasn’t a conflict of interests going on. He had history with Violet, and her father, which he was doing his best not to let cloud his judgement. Unfortunately whatever happened with this patient was always going to affect his personal life too.
‘You can’t let him leave.’ Violet was imploring him to intervene with those big expressive eyes. He preferred the dark glittering sapphires when she was in the throes of passion to the all too familiar worried baby blues.
‘Now you’re trying to tell me what’s for the best?’
She’d almost bitten his head off for daring to do the same over the matter of her mother’s jewellery. A matter that he still wasn’t happy to lay to rest.
‘I’m serious, Nate. You said yourself he should stay here. He’s not ready to go home.’ Everything in her tense body language said she wasn’t ready for it either. If he could’ve chained her father to the bed rather than subject her to any more of his outbursts, he would’ve found a way to do it. They both knew her father’s return to Strachmore would throw everything they’d been working towards into chaos.
‘My hands are tied, I’m afraid. He’s an adult, of, allegedly, sound mind. I can only advise him to remain under my care, not force him. This is clearly also an extremely volatile environment for him and staying won’t benefit him or the other patients around him.’ He hated himself for doing this to her. While she was doing her best to be strong, Nate had seen enough of her telltale signs to see she was struggling.
‘What am I going to do with him? I’m a mental-health nurse, I’m not qualified for cardiac care.’ Violet kept glancing across to his bed, where he was still grumbling and slamming his things around. It was impossible to tell which of them was more stressed here.
‘I’ll get in touch with his GP, see if he can’t persuade him to stay where he is. Failing that, between me, you and my parents, we’ll have to muddle through.’ Another commitment he’d made just so he could put that smile back on Violet’s face. There was also that niggle about not being able to perform the angioplasty making him uneasy. It was the first time he’d been unable to complete his duty of care to the full.
‘You’ll come and check on him?’
‘We’ll probably have to find some covert way of doing it but I won’t let you take this on alone.’ At least then he could keep an eye on the Earl’s recovery and watch for any complications arising from his refusal of conventional treatment.
‘You won’t let me, huh?’
‘Well, I thought on this occasion you might concede a small piece of that iron will.’
They exchanged wry smiles over the private joke. The origin of which was rooted in that night at his house. Not long after they’d argued over Violet’s stance on selling her mother’s jewellery, they’d ended up locking tongues, and almost a lot more besides, on his dining room table.
He began to regret his decision to wear a tie today as the air seemed to dissipate and leave him struggling to breathe. It made no difference if they were alone or in a ward full of people when it came to chemistry. Violet was staring at his lips and he could tell she was recalling the last time she’d yielded to him.
The silence that fell between them crackled with tension and unfinished business. It didn’t matter to his libido that both members of the Dempsey family had judged him and found him wanting. He was programmed to enjoy the benefits of a physical relationship without any emotional messiness and he shouldn’t start changing the rules now. It was his pride keeping him awake at night imagining what could’ve been instead of living it.
‘Dr Taylor, you’re needed in Room One.’
Nate was reminded he was supposed to be working, not trying to figure out a way he could sleep with Violet without compromising his principles. He gave the nurse a nod of acknowledgement.
‘I’d best get on and do what I’m paid for. Don’t worry, Violet, I’ll make sure your father has the best care whether it’s here or at home.’ The promises tripped off his tongue as easy as denial and insults flowed from Samuel Dempsey’s. They were both trapped in a pattern of self-destructive behaviour that could jeopardise their future if they weren’t careful. Sooner or later they were going to have to make changes in order to survive. For Nate that would entail cutting out more than whiskey and cigars.
* * *
True to his word Nate had sent in a crack team of physiotherapists and dieticians to speak to the Earl. Neither Violet nor the forest’s worth of advice leaflets had been enough to convince him to stay put. As usual, they’d all had to bend to his will and accept he was going home. He’d offended so many people along the way, there was a certain amount of relief mixed with Violet’s trepidation.
Regardless of their lengthy estrangement she still felt the need to apologise to everyone he came into contact with for his abrupt manner. She should have been firmer with him, tried harder to make him modify his behaviour, but the truth was she was still intimidated by him herself. If he objected to her interference and really cut loose on her, she wasn’t sure she would turn out to be any stronger than her mother.
She’d given up any right to tell him what to do when she’d left home at eighteen and vice versa. There was no way she would’ve accepted him swanning back into her life and trying to run it for her after all this time either. The difference wa
s, she wasn’t putting other people’s livelihoods in jeopardy with a blinkered approach to her finances. She’d made damn sure she had no dependants for that very reason, when it had cost her so much to simply take responsibility for herself.
It was late afternoon before they were ready to leave, much to her father’s continued agitation. He didn’t seem to grasp the fact that a crotchety old man going against medical advice wasn’t the top priority on a ward full of seriously ill patients.
Not even the whistling porter who came to escort him from CCU escaped his wrath.
‘I’m not a cripple,’ he said and kicked the wheel of the wheelchair in disgust.
‘It’s only to take you to the door, Dad. Bill’s picking us up outside. The physio said gentle exercise only, remember? You don’t want to end up exhausted before you leave the grounds.’ She imagined by this stage they were all glad to see the back of him from the department.
He was already out of breath with the effort it had taken to get dressed but he eventually got into the chair with a huff.
‘A lot of fuss about nothing, if you ask me.’
She hadn’t asked him, because that had the potential for her to lose her temper and demand to know why it was impossible for him to thank Nate for saving his life. They might get into hostile territory sooner than anticipated and run the risk of shattering the fragile remains of their father-daughter relationship, dooming Strachmore for ever.
As they made their way through the corridors she hoped to catch a glimpse of Nate, but he undoubtedly had his hands full with clinics and surgery. His skill in his field still astounded her, and she appreciated the time he’d dedicated to helping her even if her father didn’t. He’d borne the brunt of her parent’s rudeness through no fault of his own.
