by Dee Ellis
Catching his full lips in mine, right there in the middle of the atrium, I kissed him. With all the tortured, confusing feelings he had woken up within me. I don’t think it mattered if it was four days or four years. I thought I would always feel this way.
Whether I wasted time and tried to deny us this, to save my heart, he would be there. We would feel this and it would be more torture not to feel it, to deny us both. Cage growled into my mouth, actually growled and I wanted to laugh or cry so I just kissed him harder. Opening my mouth to his, I whimpered his name as he claimed my mouth as his.
“Jesus Christ,” Cage was breathing heavy when he broke away, dragging his thumb over my lip, “I never thought it could be like this. Wanting someone the way I want you. I will do anything you want, Charli. Anything.” My hand came out to cup his strong jaw, my thumb pressing to his full mouth.
“I want you too, Cage. Just...always chase when I run. Promise me?”
“Abso-fuckin-lutely.” Then a beautiful, breathtaking smile lit his face and my chest hammered with something.
Love maybe. Sitting there, looking at him smiling at me with so much emotion, I thought it could only be that. Consuming, new, fresh and exciting and terrifying.
Love.
1
Cage
I could still taste her on my tongue. Not just her sweet mouth, but the sweetness from my fingers plunging deep inside her. I didn’t mean to lose my shit like that. I had been thinking about her all night, and jerking off in the shower wasn’t working now that I’d had a taste of her.
Sitting here, listening to Byrne talk to the students, I heard none of what was going on. Was barely even aware of Finn turning his charms on full power to anyone who would pay attention. My eyes were on my girl and I could still taste her sweet pussy on my tongue.
It was sick but I was so hot knowing she sat across from me, pussy bare and my fingers had just been inside her. Had made her come, sweet and hard, not two hours ago. The kids showed up just after I almost fucked up and told her I was falling in love with her. I was never glad to share her, but for a minute, I needed the space.
Charli had almost said something big too and I couldn’t help myself. After kissing me like I was the air she needed to breathe, I saw it in her eyes. Charli was falling in love with me too. I knew if I said it, it became real. Then I risked fucking it up. So when Marcus came in loud and laughing, I could have hugged the jerk.
Now I had calmed down a little because I knew it was inevitable. I didn’t care that it was less than a week. Charli was stunning and sexy and funny and I was fucking crazy about her. My mom once told me love can happen all at once, but that it always changes.
My parents fell in love the first night they met; or so they thought at least. Mom said over time she fell in love with Pop more than once, for all kinds of reasons. Right now I felt like I could say I was falling in love with Charli. I thought she was too. Maybe next week she would hate me. Maybe I would love her more. Either way, she was mine and it didn’t matter how many times love happened or changed between us.
Just before I headed over today, I wrote another note. We could chat here or text, once I got her number, but I liked the notes. It felt like it was our secret thing and I loved that. I even started reading the book her note came in last night.
It was about a character who thought she was strong and had certain expectations in life, love for herself not being high on that list. Charli was running from her ghosts, from some kind of heartbreak and the last thing she had been looking for was finding me. Too bad love had other ideas for her.
“Now we want to let Cage have a few final words,” Sara had joined us soon after Byrne and Finn showed up, “we want to thank you for working with these kids and being so behind this program.”
Charli gave me a beaming smile that hit me right in the gut as she and the others clapped, making me flush with pride. I hadn’t expected to feel so good about this program, but damn I did. Not just because I got Charli out of it. I liked the kids; I liked seeing them excited about something that could offer them a future.
So when I stood up to talk, I said just that. Told them how proud I was of them, how I hoped they took all the mentoring classes Sara and Charli set up. Explore their options and believe in each other. Marcus made a wise ass joke about Devon becoming the next station 71 stud; Devon just puffed his chest up and shared a proud smirk with me and Byrne.
“I hope he does. He can do it. All of you can do it. We want you to have all the chances you possibly can, guys. Thanks for making this so fun, for making me feel like I could help you guys.” Then my eyes fell on Charli and I knew I was grateful I had gotten her too. Bonus.
Sara took the reins after as the rest of the class, not just our five kids, joined them to talk about what they had missed out on. Charli watched me as I took a seat across from her and I felt the weight of that look. Those beautiful eyes were brimming with pride. Fuck if that didn’t make me know I was in love with her.
I had always wanted to make my pop proud. I told her she might be the reason he finally was. I didn’t even know for sure what I meant when I wrote that; now I did.
Charli being proud of me made me feel like a fucking hero. I knew I would do whatever it took to keep her looking at me like she was now. Pop might also be proud that I thought it was time to settle down with a bonafide ten like Mom.
The kids broke up and I took some time with each of them, Finn sticking close because he suddenly seemed interested in kids. If he meant it, I was good with it, but I didn’t want him here just trying to get laid. Speaking of getting laid, I felt Charli before I knew she was close. Felt her in the zip of electricity curling up my spine.
Finn was doing his damnedest to piss me off and flirt with my girl. Charli was ignoring him completely. Now she stood just feet away, waiting patiently as I talked with Devon. As if Devon recognized something was going on between us, he let me go with a smile. I figured I wasn’t so good at hiding how I got whenever she was near me.
“Cage,” Charli smiled that sexy, warm smile, “thank you. You made this program something the kids want to be a part of and that Sara can have faith in.” It felt an awful lot like she was saying goodbye to me. I hated it.
“I thought Sara was crazy to ask me. Now....I think she knew I might like it. I did. I’m coming back. If you will have me again.” Charli’s eyes flashed as her skin went pink and it was so damn cute.
“Of course. The kids seem to respond so well to you.” We walked a step away from the others with every word we said, voices hushed.
“Hmm, so do you,” My eyes flashed when she bit her lip, “damn I love your mouth. Look at me, Charli.” Charli spun to face me, leaning against one of the high top tables.
“Yes, Mr. Cooper?” Her brow quirked up, her face lit with mischief and it was the sexiest shit I’d ever seen.
“After this,” I waved a hand at the kids milling about, “where do I find you? You told me to ask you questions. I don’t know if you want to talk now or....” Charli startled me by reaching out, pressing her hand to my chest.
“Cage,” Her voice was breathy and went straight to my cock, “you look good today. I like how you clean up. I like you dirty, too. I thought I might...it might scare me. But I like it. I like you in your suspenders. Last night,” Her eyes flashed as she tipped her head back, fingers undoing the top two buttons of my shirt, “I had this dirty idea. Want me to tell you?” I quieted my growl as her fingers traced patterns at my skin.
“Fuck yes I do. Tell me, baby.” My voice was low and gravelly and she quivered a little.
“Hmm, you dirty and sweaty; in nothing but jeans around your hips and suspenders. Pinning me to the wall and pounding into me while I hold onto those suspenders.” I think I came in my pants. I even reached down to check for come seeping through my jeans.
“Jesus, fuck baby. Keep talking to me like that and I’ll drag you to your office and bend you over your desk. You know how bad I want to fuck you?
Now I know what your pussy tastes like. I know how hot and wet you get for me, know how fucking hot you sound when I make you come. I need to be inside you.” I reached out, cupping her neck and trailing my thumb over her full, filthy mouth.
“Cage. I don’t know what makes me say the things I say to you. I mean it though. Every word. I... I need to talk to you though. Not in my office, after that I don’t doubt I’ll be bent over my desk,” I shuddered and pressed closer, not giving a fuck who saw us, “I’ll go now. Come find me.” Charli’s eyes dropped to my mouth and then she sucked her lip into hers and I groaned.
Watching her walk away, licking my lips because damn her ass looked amazing in that dress, I waited. It felt sneaky and dirty and I loved it. Right now we were just going to talk, and I knew it would be about her past.
While I waited, I had a talk with my dick. Told the fucker to rein it in. Charli had been good to us so far, taking care of him last night and I knew she would again. Today was not about getting my dick taken care of. It was about finding out how to be with Charli. Because I was going to be with Charli no matter what her ghosts or past had in mind.
Fifteen minutes later, I’d told Finn and the others goodbye, winning a knowing smirk from Finn. Then I went to find my girl. Walking through the stacks, I thought about the books she liked to read. Then I thought that was too obvious. Charli wanted to talk about her past, alone. Because of my dick comment about bending over her desk, which I was going to do, I knew she wouldn’t risk meeting there.
I thought about a joke she had made with the kids that first day. About the empty halls in parts of the library, and how as a kid she thought it was full of the ghosts of writers. Charli had said she figured ghosts would hang out in the periodical section since no one else did.
Not wanting to ask for help, to ensure we had privacy for a while, it took me a minute to find it. It was on the second floor, at the far west end of the library. A horse shoe of book cases with years of magazines and newspapers closed in around long mahogany tables.
It was secluded and perfect for lots of things I wanted to do with Charli. To Charli. Right now, it was about learning about her past. I wanted her to tell me everything but I knew it was not easy for her to open up. Stepping past the tall book cases, I stopped when I saw her.
My chest seized painfully; Charli was leaning against the end of the table closest to me, waiting. I could feel her tension and I just wanted to hold her and make it go away. When I stepped into her view, her beautiful face lit up and I felt my chest tighten even more. I wanted to see that look on her face, and know it was because of me, every single fucking day. Forever.
Without hesitation I moved, pressing close and touching my forehead to hers. Emotion pounded through me as I slid an arm around her and held her. Charli sent sensations of need through me as she hooked her arms beneath me and let me hold her as she held me.
“You found me.” Charli whispered, her light eyes dancing as I smiled at her.
“Course I did, Sugar. Before....I know we need to talk,” I watched her mouth, her teeth coming out, “give me some Sugar first.” I needed to show her nothing she said would change this.
“Come here.” Then her fingers tangled in my hair and her mouth slid over mine.
I lifted her atop the table and shoved between her legs as I leaned into her. My dick twitched against my zipper when she licked my lip, then bit it gently. Charli arched into me, hands rough in my hair as she pressed close. My hands dropped to her thighs, shoving her skirt up so I could touch her creamy skin.
Then I growled when her tongue was in my mouth and her hips bucked against mine. Charli made a sound back, suckling at my tongue, stroking it with hers. I wanted to shove her back on the table and plunge deep inside her. Instead I nipped at her lips with my teeth and tore my mouth away.
“Do I need to ask you to behave, Sugar?” Charli laughed, soft and airy and my dick let me know he loved it.
“Sometimes....I don’t know how I behave when I’m close to you.”
“Me either. No need to behave, baby,” My hands came up to cup her jaw, tipping her head back, “I’m yours to do with as you please.” Charli’s eyes went frothy as they flashed, her knees tugging me closer.
“I love your pretty words, Cage.” Her hand pressed to my chest and I gave her space but refused to move away.
“Pretty truths, baby. I’m all yours. Are you all mine?” My gut twisted as her eyes darkened, my breathing stopping as I waited.
“Abso-fucking-lutely,” Charli lit in the brightest, purest smile I had ever seen before she blushed pink, “I don’t know why or how or when I knew for certain. Maybe just now when you asked. Maybe the first day I looked into your eyes. Maybe the first day I touched you. Or yesterday, when you touched me. I don’t know. I just know...I am.” My head tipped back and I let out a primal growl that echoed off the walls we were hidden by.
“Fuck, baby. Do you know what those pretty words do to me? I knew the moment I looked at you. I didn’t need to touch you or taste you or be inside you,” Charli let out a moan, her eyes fluttering as I wrapped my hands around her neck gently, “I was waiting for you and then one day there you were. Took my fucking breath away, Charli. It’s scary shit and I know that but I don’t want to give this up. I won’t. I won’t give you up, Sugar.”
“I told you I will run. Not because I want to. Or because it makes sense or because I want to hurt you. Because I will get scared or hurt so I’ll run. Just...please, chase me like you promised.” My fingers gave a squeeze at her neck before I kissed her until I couldn’t breathe.
“Always, Sugar. I’ll always chase you. Tell me what I need to know about Tucker.” For a moment I thought I stopped breathing, thought my heart stopped as her eyes flooded with tears.
Her ghost. Tucker was her ghost and fuck if she didn’t look broken.
1
Charli
Cage Cooper had ruined me. In the best possible way. I didn’t want to ruin this thing between us with sadness and loss, but I had to tell him. I wanted to tell him, which scared the shit out of me. I didn’t know when I would tell him all of Tucker’s truth; I thought I would though.
Right now, I needed to tell mine and I was terrified. Sitting here, with his honey hazel eyes holding mine and pressed close to his solid chest, I felt like I could breathe. For the first time in ages, I was going to tell my truths and I could breathe. No weight at my chest, no fear of how he might react. I knew it would be okay.
“Tucker,” I took a deep breath and looked into his beautiful eyes, “is one of my ghosts. Not one you need to fight. Tucker...was going to be my husband.” Cage reacted immediately and I could see the hurt in his eyes.
“Whoa.” Cage started to back away, which stung like hell, then he pressed closer and drug his lips over mine.
“Doesn’t matter,” He growled as his lips turned possessive and hungry, “you’re mine now.” Sweet Jesus that sounded like heaven and burned through every part of me, pooling in my belly.
“Baby,” I loved the flash in his eyes when I called him that, so I did it often, “yes. God that feels so good to say. To know everywhere that matters it’s true.” Cage’s eyes smoldered because he knew it was true; at last I had accepted it as my truth.
“It feels good because it’s right. I was always yours and you were always mine. It would have always ended up you and me, baby.” Cage truly believed that, I could see it in his eyes. I thought maybe he knew what he was talking about.
“Well once upon a time, I didn’t know I had you waiting here for me. Tucker was...handsome and kind and sweet. No ma'am, thank you ma'am, yes sir. Down home boy who played football and loved his mama and loved me. I....once upon thought I loved him. Maybe not the way he loved me, and maybe not enough. I still took his ring because I was expected to. The next day he left for boot camp. For three years, I planned a wedding and played the doting fiancé because I was expected too. Never...ever because I wanted to.” I took a deep breath and looked int
o his eyes.
“Kind of kills me to know another man put a ring on your finger. Kills me more that his ghost still haunts you this way.” I shook my head, tears pooling in my eyes, because he was so wrong.
“Tucker never came home. I had to mourn for a man I loved for half my life but who I never loved enough to tell the truth to. He knew though. We both knew before the end. We....that’s what gives me peace, that we both knew the truth before he was gone,” There was something important there but I just listened.
“Tucker never came home for visits. We rarely spoke, except for in letters....a few calls. I knew Tucker had his truth at last so I wanted mine. Then he died. I felt guilty because I knew I could live my truth now while he never really got a chance to live his.” Tears streamed down my face as I remembered the guilt that had nearly eaten me alive.
Though I had loved Tucker, had even given him my innocence, I had not been in love with him. I had always wondered how I could tell the difference. When I lost him, I hurt because we were so close and no one else knew him like me. For over three years I planned a wedding I knew was never going to happen.
That last phone call had freed me but I loved him enough, he was my best friend, that I would have lied for him as long as he wanted. When he passed I knew I could be really, truly free while he had just gotten a taste of it. So instead of moving on, I mourned him as the entire town and everyone who knew us expected me to.
Moving here had been a big middle finger to Tucker’s memory to some people. They expected me to die a widow even though I never got to be a wife. Our relationship was so romanticized by the entire town; it felt like I might never escape it. I couldn’t come out with the truth because it would devastate his family all over again. They loved Tucker and me as a couple, treated me like a daughter.
When I left, his mama had taken it hard but I couldn’t bear the weight of their loss anymore. I loved Tucker for half my life, and part of me always would. Once I wondered how I might know if it was different. Then, I met Cage Cooper. What I felt for him, in just days, was more than I had ever felt for Tucker.
