“Yeah! I think I’m liking Goa very much”.
“What’s your plan for tomorrow” taking a bite of my sandwich.
“Well, I thought of visiting a church”.
“Yeah! You got to deliver a Christ statue to a Father”.
“ Yeah!! You just reminded me about that” said Isha.
“So, how was your time, the day”.
“I made a call to my Mom. She said she was moving for Austin. So, presently it’s empty at my home” said Isha.
“Is your Dad in Austin”.
“I know nothing about him. I just don’t want to talk about my Dad” she groaned.
“Alright I’m sorry about that”.
“It’s Ok” she sighed.
“Don’t you never asked to your Mom about your Dad”.
“She ignores to talk about him. I just don’t understand what’s wrong between them. But, I have no problem... I got accustomed staying this way” her face turned slightly pale and cold.
“I know Isha..it’s very bitter and painful. I can sense the thing that you have gone through. A family without a Man..I can imagine how tough the days would go surviving with only a woman of Mom’s age”.
Her face hovered with thorough grief and sadness. Neither her voice sparked out clearly. She turned her face towards the roadway gazed deeply at far distance she could visualise. The inner depth of sorrow was not only tuned on me but the same was with her. Only the case that dealt was different. She’s got the problem with her family which was something very essential more than what I was going through. How could a Man do such a sin to a woman. Is that the reason where love fades away from each other.
Twelve
................
A stage reaches in life where love between each other tends to dry out, in fact it appears not as love but begins to compromise each other. And the only reason to live together would be the offspring. Some man do faithfully performs his duty whereas some breaks the rule and free themselves in search of new era leaving behind scars to their family. Such man steps backward from their responsibility and blames the world for their unwise act. Isha strengthen to look at my side. Her eyes still drown in deep sorrow.
“Hey! Are you ok” I put my concern on her.
I slightly shifted my chair towards her side. I rubbed my hand on her back with a sign of consolation for her.
“You need not to think about the past. Just move on with your present. That’s what my scholars taught me” I whispered close to her.
She somehow tended to smile slightly. “It’s ok. I’m fine” she sighed.
She rubbed her eyes that was quietly moistened by tear gland.
“Can I have words to your Mom someday” said I.
“Yeah! Sure. I told her about you”.
“What did you say about me”.
“Why you want to know much detail” she squeaked softly.
“Just kidding” said I patting my hand on her back.
We were only inch distance away from each other but the closeness shifted in more. I could feel her warm breath just before my mouth. Her eyes stared sharply at me desiring something at that moment. We lost the air of control. Something got added to the flavour more into the air. Our face with no measures touched each other’s cold skin. She politely came in through her lips awake and kissed me. I added firmly to it and succumbed to her kiss. With strong tempting desires it continued for minutes until our inner soul felt the complete satisfaction of washing our inner sorrows. Indeed, we did not realize the presence of public. But for Isha it was not a new scene. But for me it was brand new subject under this range of Indian public which is considered to be an ill habit in Indian culture. I scrolled back my chair at my original position. Isha looked slightly well through her facial expression. Hours passed on and yet we were left seated as like a permanent customer. I pretended to look at my wrist watch. It’s almost 7:00pm evening. What attracted us to that place it was unknown on our part.
“Let’s walk on” I insisted her.
We paid off the bill and proceeded forth. We headed crossing the cafe beyond the subway that led us to an open space. Our steps marched together, finally it halted at a site where we could see people gathered together relaxing after their wholesome day work. In fact, by the corner I could read out a sign board. It was a family park which had an access only for the evening session of the day. “Let’s move in” Isha squinted.
“Are you sure”.
“Yeah!” she said softly.
We began to move towards the entrance. She took the first step to move while I followed her. We instantly looked for a better place to rest ourselves. A bench stood empty by the corner of a garden. We comfortably took by its side and made ourselves comfortable. She sat beside me and I conjointly joined being prim and proper.
“So, tell me more about Anannya” said Isha.
“What more do you want to know” I said softly.
“Anything”.
“Well, I must record the things in my diary then”.
“Sure..I’m going to do the writing whereas you narrate me” she said, snatching the diary from my hand which was firmly under my hold.
“Alright.. that’s agreeable”.
The silence began to take rebirth on me. I peeked at Isha for seconds and began to sound tiny with my voice. I could see the curiousness that floated on her eyes. She eagerly waiting to penned down my words. With no more delay my heart pushed me to verse out the next rhythm of my life’s journey.
It was a school fest day. I was very early to the school. Since the bus picked me at early hour. I was by the auditorium side, watching some volunteers decorating the way of entrance. I was like the other guys that day who set himself free out of fire that burnt the heart out of love. I made my way to step in to the hall. Nothing flicked on my eyes before that but I stood with crest of surprised that amazed me. I saw Anannya on the stage. She was indeed looking beautiful. Perhaps she was rehearsing a dance for the show. I thought of waving her hand from the last row where I stood with my eyes locked at her. Her every moves smoothly controlled my heart. I was fondly watching her close. She smiled when her steps used to go wrong and the others would direct to correct her. The hall was completely empty, yet to fill by the audience. After moments of time that lasted she was finally over with her rehearsing. She fled out from the stage and proceeded to move out from the side door. I hurried up from the exit door to encounter her.
“Hey! Anannya” my voice slowly raised as my steps marched closer to her.
I was laden with joy coming from the first ray of the sun.
“Hey!...how have you been?” she said.
We took the way out and walked off towards an open space ground where others were standing in queue to make their way towards the auditorium.
“Well..I’m fine. What about you?” my breath got lighter.
“I’m good”.
“You’re fabulous dancer”.
She smiled “Am I?..and thanked”.
“ I was standing there and saw you were rehearsing so I!!”.
“I know I saw you” she interrupted.
“Did you see me”.
“Of course it was empty hall except for you I could see”.
“I thought, you didn’t notice me cause you seemed very busy with your rehears programme”. She burst to glance at me and slit a smile on her face. “So, where are you going now” I asked.
“Oh! I was looking for my boyfriend, Avick”.
My heart dazzled and drooped it’s wing. But walked calmly and steady alongside her. She was very happy cause it was her first dance performing on the stage. My voice gradually began to shut down. As we came closer to join up the queue.
“We shall meet later” said Anannya.
And she quietly diverged her way in search of her beloved boyfriend. I stopped at a spot with flock of dejection within me. I had no knowledge about the present situation but lost into the darkness of being in Love with Anannya. Indeed I would let her go to her boyfriend imaginin
g the very moment she was standing right beside me. Within a fluke of time it turned out to be the unimportant phase of my life. I came up with mournful heart to stand in a line. Everyone around me faded away and I felt myself standing on a lonely island somewhere far west of pacific. Every single person started to move in towards the auditorium. I stood in dilemma whether I should attend the function or reject to do so. The only reason could be to see Anannya dance but what could make me feel about that just to see hugging her boy friend before my eyes. I didn’t give a second chance to my thought and deviated my steps away from the rest. I walked off slowly towards a site where no one had any access for that day. I could see everyone moving in but nothing pulled me back neither her presence would matter me inside in fact it would kill me watching her close with her boyfriend. I decided to walk back to home instead of attending the school fest. My steps slowly gathered it’s strength and headed towards the school. I walked alone, through the road way thinking about the little interaction we had.
There was nothing wrong with her but everything that seemed to be going wrong in my life. On the while I was searching for a restaurant. So somehow I could pick up one of my choice. I steered in pushing the door to way myself. I managed to occupy one table. The waiter headed towards to carry my order. A cup of tea was the only right choice for me at that moment. After few minutes I was served with red lemon tea. I took the first sip of it. Still on my mind the picture screened on the conversation I had with Anannya the morning. My eyes failed to vision out , my voice turned dumb whereas I laid seated numb. At any rate I couldn’t get her out of my mind. Still pondering where to deliver my heart. I decided again to go back to school but not at early hour of the function. I thought of lending my steps way back straight after the show. Nothing could feature me around except for her that constantly blinked before my eyes. I decided strongly within my heart. I have to talk to her no matter whatever the situation may arise. I have to make ensure what my heart wanted or else a sin I would be committing for not listening to my heart.
“Sir do you need any more things” the waiter said.
“No..I’m fine with it” my voice murmured.
I paid the bills and walked out of it. It was almost 11:00am. I dirigible way back towards my school. My steps slowly headed ahead and I could feel the immense sorrow and the heartfelt loneliness surrounded me. My heart pounded strongly and my breath inhaling sharply. I gathered more courage within to look back at my way. I knew for sure if I reach back my school, I would be broken into some million unknown pieces of my heart. I would be standing with my legs shaking off, kneeling on my knees pleading hard with words praying to God to make this Man get his love. But who knew will my prayer be answered. It’s the choice of destiny to answer me back. As I came closer to my school gate I halted there for a second. The guard stood there with complete attention for any outsider. He came close to me and said “Why are you not in the auditorium”.
I was left with no choice but had to answer. I lifted my head slightly which was facing towards the ground.
“Well..I’ve no interest with the ongoing fest ceremony”.
“Something wrong with you” said the guard.
“No...nothing I’m good” pretending to act jolly.
“Look.. I can make out seeing in your face. You can’t lie me”.
I nodded my head with kindness. “Come share me your problem” said the guard calling me out to have a seat on a bench.
He looked very keenly at my face. Triggering me to speak out my inner burden.
“Actually there’s a girl whom I’m in love with”.
“Oh! So, that’s the game” he said. I nodded my head.
“Does she knows about it”.
“No... but the story would end if the truth is revealed out” I said softly.
“What makes you out here then. You must be there where she is” he said.
My head dropped to look at the ground. Eyes flared out of emotions. Voice trembled to speak out. The silence captivated me once again. The stream of dejection started to browse in and I laid with my heart pumping harder. All my other parts shivering down.
“No..She don’t love me” I said with my voice deeply saddened.
“Did you tell her”.
“It’s of no use....She’s got boyfriend” I sighed.
“C’mon Man you love her. A man shouldn’t step back confessing his feelings to his love”.
“I don’t think it’s right enough to say her”.
“Don’t fear my friend. Don’t let yourself down. Say with open heart. Don’t think about the result. Never mind for the appeal of rejections. It’s the heart that governs. Who knows what’s there in your destiny” said the guard enthusiastically.
I nodded my head with strong strength of emotional vibes. I waited being seated until the function would get over.
“What’s her name” inquired the guard.
“Anannya” said I.
He slightly smiled looking at me.
“Have you ever fallen in love at your time” I asked him with my inquisitive mind.
At first he glanced at me then he looked at the ground folding his hand crisscross “Yes! Son... I also loved her very much” he sighed deeply.
“So, you’re together now”.
He smiled again pondering something in his mind.
“No..She’s somewhere...I don’t know where she’s now” his voice faded slowly.
His eyes turned very reminiscing. His face appeared to be nostalgic.
“Back in my days...I never feared to confess” he added his voice.
I smiled looking at his face. He seemed very energized with his words. It felt like he desperately wanted me to confess my love before her. But the case after that wouldn’t be the same.
“I know it’s difficult to regulate but one day or the other you have to tell...else you’ll keep regretting your whole life” he said.
“I understand your concern sir but the thing is not in my hand right now. It may happen I may lose her”.
“No, Son..we don’t lose anyone by loving. It’s the destiny that decides your life. It’s the faith and trust that we must keep our hope on it”.
“What if she rejects me back” I added my voice.
“Doesn’t matter. Behind every rejection there’s a reason. Rejection does not mean she will never love you. It’s the state of the heart that speaks at that moment”.
“What if her state of heart never changes for me”.
“That can’t never happen. Someday she will think of you again. And that time she will be very desperate to see you” said the guard.
Our conversation kept lasting for hours. The programme was yet to get over.
“Take your time and make her feel the awareness that you care for her” the guard said politely.
I just nodded my head sitting beside him on that bench. I looked at the time, it was about 12:30pm. The place where we were seated had a wonderful shades of tress that stood tough along a series of line.
“Where do she stay” he asked.
“Somewhere..near that super market area” with sort of unsure tone.
“Since when you have been in love with Anannya”.
“From the first day I saw her walking through a long stretched corridor” with my gentle tone. “So, it’s love at first sight”.
“I don’t know” my voice giggled. The guard stared at me for a while. And I could figure out that he had some sort of sentimental memories that flashed in his mind.
“You know Son I fell in love only once. But I loved her so much that even if she tended to forget me she won’t be able. That’s the strong force of love that I had for her”.
“ I can see that in your eyes” said I.
“I still love her a lot. I still have her photograph in my wallet”.
“So your wife knows about it. You carry a picture of her still”.
“Yeah! She knows everything about her”.
“That’s lovely” I said softly. I k
ept waiting there unleashing my strong force of emotions accompanied by our school guard. Both of us in moody to take our term of conversation little more.
“I can exactly know how much you love her” said the guard.
My lips pressed hard and the palm of my left hand ran through my left cheek. I shrugged “Yes! I do love her a lot”.
“I loved the guard” Isha interrupted.
“What was there in him” I shrugged.
I took a glance at my diary where Isha was penning all my narration. I could finally see my dream approaching closer to me. All my lost words refilling back in my life. The forever love words being engraved into pages and volumes for lifetime. All my memories will no more be a memory but a set of life experience for the upcoming days I would be spending.
“That guard had the courage to confess his love and you were like an Idiot” Isha giggled.
“Oh! C’mon now Isha..stop kidding. You know Anannya had a boyfriend how could I interfere myself in their intimacy” said I.
“Ok! I was just kidding. Don’t be serious” she said.
“Sometime you make me really go fussy” I grinned.
She laughed and looked at my face. She tended to imitate me.
“You know you’re a great fool” she said.
“I know, I’m a fool for saying I’m in love with Anannya”.
She made face at me. And gave a light cruel look at me. But she tended to make a fun out of me. She broke out into laugh again.
“Why are you laughing so much”.
“You should have a look at mirror once” she said.
“Why that so”.
“You face turned really foolish and brutal. It turned dull and the gleam faded away” Isha squinted.
“So that made you laugh”.
“Not that exactly..I was recalling the time we had in Mumbai along that arc of Marine drive” her voice softly whispered.
She finally dragged herself into that scene of nostalgic scenario. Her face completely drown into some fractured memories we had.
“Remember we got wet” she jerked her voice.
“Yeah! The roars of waves finally attacked us with that huge wave and we were wet”.
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