Gone By

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Gone By Page 18

by Hajong, Beatone


  “How mad am I for her” I whispered softly.

  The lady gently opened her sleeping eyes and looked at me for seconds. She made her hair proper and made herself comfortable again.

  “So, completed with your story” she asked. Her face glimpsed with an interest.

  “It’s yet to be complete” I replied. She grinned and passed a frozen smile at me.

  “Can I have a look at your diary” her voice sounded kind.

  I handed her the diary which was on my lap. She began to flip back the pages from the beginning. “So, you’ll be reading now” I asked her.

  “I thought so...If you don’t mind”.

  I nodded my head with decency. She began to read the first page.

  “It’s a touchy start” she said softly after completing the first page.

  “I know” I said.

  She stressed her interest further more into the next page. I could feel that zest rising and curiosity that generated within her with every single page she began to read. At some points her eyes turned pale and shuddered. In some lines she smiled with the touch of words that fluently involved her.

  “It gets interesting with every lines I read” she said softly turning a page.

  “Is it so”.

  “Yeah! I Just don’t know you love her so much” she grinned.

  “Yeah, I do”.

  She proceeded to read further. I glanced outside of the window. We were heading fast. Our bus pulled it’s accelerator at its extreme height. The day began to grow older with the rise of sunrays getting brighter. I searched down the contact list again in my phone. Thought of calling to Isha. The lady beside lost under the world of my diary. I searched for Isha’s number. Suddenly a jerk of sound screamed from my mobile. I glanced at the screen to look for. Coincidently, it was a call from Isha. I couldn’t wait to hear her voice.

  “Hey!” said I.

  “How far have you been” she asked.

  “I don’t know somewhere on the midway” I chuckled.

  “Hey! I’m missing you damn much” her voice slightly shook off.

  “Me too”.

  The lady beside snuggled closer to me.

  “Who’s sitting beside you” Isha inquired.

  “Well, I got a good reader of my diary, indeed my book”.

  “Wow! That’s great...definitely she must be a female..huh!!!” she grinned.

  “Yeah! You’re right she’s a married lady. You don’t need to hackled around with your doubts in mind” I grinned.

  Isha laughed “Alright I’m going off now, will talk you later...bye” Isha hanged her phone off.

  “I just can’t believe it’s wonderful” the lady said.

  “Oh! Thanks”.

  “I can understand how you portrait your love for Anannya” she said softly.

  She flipped one more page glancing at my innocent eyes. I turned to look at her face for seconds. She was flaring out with the crest of interest on my writing. I was seated idle on my seat with nothing on my hand. The only thing I could fiddle around was my cell phone. With every turn of the wheel my every thought began to whirl around in my head. I was waiting when she would hand me back my written pages. She was so much engrossed into it that interrupting her would be a crime. But I was in great need of that to add my incomplete written words on the diary. I had to amount some courage to ask back the diary.

  “Excuse me Ma’am, Can I have my diary for now” I politely asked her.

  “Oh! Sure...you can” she said with cheer on her eyes.

  She handed me the diary. I clipped it from her hand.

  “It’s going to be a fantastic story” she added her voice.

  “Thanks..I hope so it does”.

  “It will be.. I’ll pray that it does happen the best of all” she smiled.

  “I just want to write it. No intentions of making it a great hit” I said softly.

  “It’s already a hit. You can’t even imagine the touch of your emotions you put up” her voice seized my ears.

  I perpetually glanced at her. My eyes shrunk deprived of light. I managed to gleam back focusing on my written words.

  “You can add to your words” she solemnly said rubbing her hand softly on my shoulder.

  I nodded on her agreement. My thoughts began to propel me. She plunged out a magazine from her hand bag to add to her leisure journey. She smiled looking at me. She gestured raising her eye brow pointing me at my diary. I slowly smiled out. She began to flip a page to read out from the magazine. I held my pen stiff through my fingers. I knew our bus was running at the speed of eighty kilometres per hour. I was completely with shades of reminiscing memories. The pictures of past rolled before my eyes. I began to think about Anannya. Indeed, I was under the effect of so called the day dreamer. My forefinger fiddled on my chin.

  “What’s wrong you’re not writing” she said suddenly.

  My eyes jerked out in sudden shock. My heart slightly trembled and shook.

  “Oh! I was actually thinking of what to put up next” my voice shook.

  She nodded her head and resumed back to her magazine. I gasped, holding my pen hard and turned the next fresh page to fill up. A thought pondered on my mind searching for the reason why did I left Isha all alone. Was it the reason for her true confession of love on me or was it the fear that led me backward. I knew I couldn’t fall in love with her but leaving her all alone such way was not a valid act of respect which I violated. It began to crackle my nerves with the rise of guiltiness searching on my mind. I looked at the blank page and gazed a while before I began writing.

  “Should I call back Isha and ask her sorry again” my inner conscious spoke out.

  But then my heart wanted to let it go as it believed there was nothing wrong between both of us. Moreover, I would come back to see her once again before she would leave for Houston. I dropped my pen on the white paper and began to let it flow with its blue ink marking on the white sheet.

  The year have passed now. Finally, I was upgraded to standard 12th. So was Anannya with the same zest like everyone on each one’s face of passing out their former class standard. That year, I pre planned not to indulge myself in any sort of mischievous tragic incidents. I was completely revolutionized with new rays of hope and aim. I began everyday with new dreams floating on my eyes. One day Anannya came up and said to me “You have become very quiet these days...what’s wrong”.

  “I’m chasing my dreams” I said.

  “What dreams” she asked softly.

  We were seated outside on a bench, some birds were chirping loud high up into the sky. Anannya just came by and sat beside me.

  “A dream I had been waiting for”.

  “Nice” she nodded her head.

  “Just look up in the sky once” I asked her to do so.

  She looked up raising her neck high, her eyes blinked thoroughly in every nanoseconds.

  “Do you see those birds flying high” I said softly.

  “Yeah..I can hear them making some noise” said Anannya.

  “No..They are singing. It’s not noise” I said.

  “How did you know that” her voice sounded innocent.

  “Cause I could feel the noise they were chirping out”.

  She stopped gazing at the distant sky and glanced at me.

  “Why are you sitting alone here” she asked calmly.

  “I was thinking about someone”.

  “Really...Who” her tone enthused up.

  “I was thinking, how would I be after twenty years”.

  “Where’s that someone”.

  “That someone would be me after twenty years”.

  “I was thinking it was about a girl” Anannya grinned.

  “No...it’s not about a girl. It’s about me and that’s the dream”.

  “Would you discuss your dream to me” she said.

  “What you want to know about my dream” my feeble voice spoke out.

  “Anything that you want to share”.

  “W
ell, dreams are meant to be fulfilled not to share” I smiled.

  “ Ok..You mean to say..each one of us has individual dreams to fulfil” said Anannya.

  “Of course...you do have certain dreams to fulfil”.

  She nodded her head and looked up into the birds again that were flying up.

  “That’s the reason for your quietness” she squirmed.

  “I believe so” I added my voice softly.

  “Won’t you be attending the class today” she asked.

  “ Nature is my teacher, nature teaches me much better than a scholar speaks before hundred students”.

  “I see that..you have grown so mature enough to know the truth of life” she smiled looking at me. “Yes!!! Indeed...I needed a change”.

  She peeked her eyes sharp at me. The air around swung, flowing swiftly through the narrow passages of branches of trees. I could see the zigzag movements of the leaves.

  “You love nature very much” Anannya’s voice hissed softly.

  “Yeah! I do”.

  “Well..I’m impressed by that”. She keenly looked at my face.

  I flashed a slow smile on my face. “You and I are totally different” her voice hurled.

  I turned to look at her, my lips were pressed together and my eyes were blinking at faster rate. “We live by our own philosophy. We succeeds by our own philosophy..so it’s obvious we will have different point of view towards life”.

  Anannya contacted her eyes sharply at me. Her face churned into complex emotions. I could follow her breath, she was riveted by my side. Her hair flew like a streams of invisible lines. Her blink of an eye slowed down and the gaze came strong from her side. Yes, of course we haven’t seen each other for a month. Our whole school was at holiday after the final promotion exam we had. So now we followed by the new opening of the year with new session and one standard ahead.

  “I don’t know I got to know something from you that touched my inner conscious today” her voice spoke in deep concern.

  My eyes pointed my rays towards a side where I could see flock of birds landed down to collect grains.

  “See those birds” pointing my finger at them.

  “They are beautiful” she said.

  “Just like you” I grinned. She smiled with her lips locked and pressed together.

  Her eyes gleamed out into this bright Monday morning.

  “I never knew you are so different from the other guys” she added her tone.

  “Why that’s so”.

  “You stay firm, alone wondering about with your dreams, chasing them, thinking good thoughts, spending time with nature” she said softly.

  My lips slightly widened and broke out a smile. I could see Anannya constantly watching me very close. Just a space between us, she was seated beside me. I was held strong on my seat neither my feet nor hand made a movement. The silence walked over us and suddenly my voice cracked to speak out.

  “I don’t know how much I’m precise by your saying”.

  “No..You’re.....you don’t even talk to your own classmates..except for me. You are completely different but amazing” she said.

  “Am I that way?” I inquired casually.

  “Yeah!..One who gets to know you....then you’re wonderful soul to hang around”.

  “Actually I love involving myself rather than involving others who would not worth to me”.

  She gazed very close into my eyes. In fact, I felt the burn of her strong gaze. So tempting and inevitable was she that morning that I couldn’t leave a sight of her. The silent ambient and cool breeze added to our company watching those hill tops across far distance. The place had a wonderful access viewing the mist of clouds covering the green hills. So was our bench just close to such wonderful sight.

  “So, you don’t trust anybody” she asked.

  “I trust myself”.

  The reflection of her natural beauty followed with the nature and I couldn’t believe she was seated beside me with her lips moving out of words. Heart beats racing higher, hands started to shook, treating each other like the love birds enveloped in one cage.

  “You should trust yourself at first” said Anannya. I gave a close smile to her.

  “So, how’s your boyfriend”.

  “Well, he’s good and caring”.

  “So, you have been in love with him since a year ago”.

  “Yeah! It was a love with tragedy” she said.

  “I never had the experience of falling in love”.

  “Why”.

  “It’s maybe I give more time to love myself than loving others”.

  She smiled and looked around. Her eyes spoke silently and gestured tenderly towards me. “There’s something more in you, I can’t evaluate who you are but you’re someone I wouldn’t want to lose” she muttered softly.

  “I appreciate your concern for being my good friend” I said.

  She smiled and patted on my head. We were still seated outside. Neither of us concerning about the class to attend. I didn’t knew why I felt something different with her that day. She was much more casual and verbal. All my inner chords of love for her I could gradually release with no protest against myself. I began to grow as friend with her. Somewhere deep into the ocean of heart I threw the emotions of love and feelings for her. But I could give birth to new quest of happiness and joy. Perhaps, I was destined to fall in love with endurance of pain and sorrow. I began to reconsider myself into new creation with new philosophy of living style. I could hire the trial lesson that taught me the earlier year with those worldly roars of love which never paid me. That strong obsession for Anannya, I dimmed somewhere far across the oceans of Love where her name would fade away under the saline water. Maybe now I lost the reason to persuade her. She was completely into her relationship with her boyfriend. I could be more like a friend than lover to her.

  “According to you what sort of Girl Is I” asked Anannya.

  That was definitely not a kind of question for a guy like me.

  “I think you’re good, lovely and wonderful” I muttered out in short sentence.

  “Thanks for your such compliment” she said.

  Our conversation began to grow bigger and bigger. We were so much engrossed with the natural beauty that surrounded us. Every words she spoke out made an impact on me. I stood and walked forward towards an edge, below I could see the greenery of trees covering the hills and the white clouds passing against each other from all directions. The distant hills dimmed in size and some vehicles passed on through the road which was fiddly visible from here. She came up and stood beside me.

  “Look at those clouds” Anannya muttered very close to me.

  “How beautiful they are”.

  “They make a shape of a bird” she said pointing her finger up into the clouds.

  “Yeah! Which bird do you think?”I grinned.

  “Must be a dove...a symbol of peace and prosperity” she said casually.

  “Is dove a symbol of peace” I inquired with some misconception on my mind.

  “Yeah....I guess I’m right” she said.

  “I never knew that..there’s a bird symbol for peace” said I.

  She shifted inch closer to me. I could grasped the smell of her perfume. She glanced at me and muttered out, “You’re looking different today”.

  I didn’t except such complimentary words from her but I had to thank her for those comment.

  “Thanks”.

  “I mean what sort of difference that took birth in me...could you elaborate” I added.

  She looked at me with some amusement on her face. She began to smile wide.

  “I don’t know..what to elaborate. I just said you’re different today” she giggled.

  “What made you think you ”.

  “I don’t know” she said.

  “Want to hang around somewhere” I asked her.

  “Sure..skipping the classes today”.

  “That wouldn’t matter for one day” I said.

  We
began to walk down through a slope that led us to the school gate. She walked beside me. We were so close to each other. I could feel at some instance her finger touched my hand. Our steps added together down the slope until we reached the main gate.

  “Let’s move into this direction” she urged.

  “Sure..anywhere” I compiled my voice softly.

  We began our steps slowly with no gestures of any movement of lips from each other. Her face managed to glance at me. I peeked her at once and spoke out with my soft voice “I never thought you’d be so nice to me”.

  She looked at me like she was raised with surprise. Her eye brow raised quickly involving a sharp look at me.

  “Why you thought I would be nice only to my boyfriend” said Anannya.

  “No..that’s not the thing”.

  She smiled and peeked around as we were moving ahead through the by lane. Few steps ahead there stood a stall with jars of biscuits and tea pot. We were moving towards it. We stopped by its side. The shopkeeper served us with cup of tea. With every sip of my cup, I could taste the sweetness that gloomed on her face. I watched her very close that day. She stood holding her cup before me. Unlike me, she was slow enough to take a single sip out of it.

  “I liked the taste of the tea” she murmured.

  “It’s the aroma of Darjeeling” said the shopkeeper from a side.

  I smiled and looked at him. “Fantastic smell..I could ever sniff through my nose” I added softly. There were few empty chairs. I managed to grab one at side. Anannya took one and sat beside me. I could see the dark clouds floated into the sky. Perhaps lightening thunder would warn us before it sheds it’s drops of rain on to the earth. Even the air began to get little wilder and rough. “It’s better you come under the roof sir” said the shopkeeper.

  We went in and settled with our respective chairs. Within no time we could hear the outburst of thunder and sudden strike of light reaching to earth surface.

  “I just love rainy day” Anannya grinned.

  “Rainy day spoils my ride”.

  “Oh! Yeah..You got to learn how to ride a cycle”.

  “Oh! C’mon Anannya..It slips away from the track. You can’t control that on a slippery road”.

  We were seated idle with our talks on. Neither we could return back. We were blocked by the heavy storm. Some people were running in to save themselves from being wet. The rowdy wind still continued to blow. That day maybe I was lucky enough to have her by my side. Even the rain and the wind wanted us to stay together. Although, Anannya knew her boyfriend would be waiting for her. All I could just wait the rain to stop and let her safely return to whom she belong. The rain began to slow down. It’s droplets began to get lessened and the winds began to get gentle.

 

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