I offered the Watcher Doll to Katya once, but she said she had her pendant, said it must be the equivalent; it’s only natural that different Untamed groups would have different means of keeping a Seer and their people safe. Katya’s pendant keeps her from getting permanently stuck in the Dream Land once she’s been summoned there. She didn’t need the Watcher Doll—but I think she realized I did. Because, apart from my siblings, it’s the only bit of my old life left that’s mine. And it’s comforting to have it. Even though the token’s empty.
I pick it up now and look at it. It’s not even a doll, so I don’t know why it’s called a Watcher Doll—it’s the name it’s always had. It’s a carefully carved wooden ellipsoid with two dents on one side. A ring of bright red paint circles the ellipsoid at its widest point. When I was little, Caia-Lu told me it represented the world, and the ring of paint is the energy around the world that keeps us safe. If I was a Seer, I’d be able to call spirits to the Watcher Doll, to protect us. The good spirits, that is. Their power would be held in by the red ring, and they’d be bound to our group to help us all, not just to prevent the Seer from becoming trapped in the Dream Land.
The Turnings happen more frequently here, so I listen to the spirits shrieking and howling fairly regularly. Still, they’re around at other times too. They’re always around somewhere, usually causing chaos and danger or killing us. Apparently, they appeared shortly after the first humans converted themselves into the Enhanced. But the spirits also help our Seers, help with the visions of the future, along with the Gods and Goddesses. So they’re on our side, mostly.
And so the Watcher Doll makes me feel safe—even though I know the protection I feel from it isn’t real. Isn’t a guarantee.
And the dream isn’t real either.
It’s my imagination, as always. But, just in case, I don’t let myself sleep.
Better to be safe than sorry.
The next morning, I punch Finn as hard as I can, aiming for the soft, fleshy bit under his jaw. My fist connects there at a right angle, and he staggers back. He’ll have wonderful bruises there tomorrow, and I grin, then pounce forward. My body slams into his, and I grab his arm, manage to twist it behind his back and use the advantage to shove him across the line.
Pain flashes across his face. Pain and annoyance.
We never hold back with each other, and he doesn’t like getting beaten by a girl. That only makes my victory sweeter.
“Okay!” Nico shouts, jumping up. “That’s it.”
“What?” I yell. “Already?”
“You’ve beaten him.”
I pause for a moment, then let go of Finn, and clap him on the back. It’s my attempt at making sure he’s all right—although it is a half-hearted attempt. He grimaces and looks at me sideways, a glimmer of something indistinguishable in his eyes.
A little way off, I see Mila sitting cross-legged on the sand, watching. Her face lights up in a huge grin as she sees me looking, and she waves. I smile back. Then she gets up and scampers toward our hut.
I can’t wait to teach Mila how to fight properly. I’ve taught her the basics, but I’ll have to wait until she’s a bit older to really get into it. I think then the two of us will really connect, that our sisterly bond will grow. I’m only just starting to feel like I know how to treat her as a sister. Before, she was just a small child who I never really felt able to interact with. Stupid, right?
Nico joins us, looks between me and Finn for a few moments.
He doesn’t say anything until Finn’s gone. Then he turns those big eyes on me. They’re the kind of eyes that make Five go soppy, but, for the last few weeks, they’ve been annoying me. Five says that means I don’t appreciate Nico enough, especially given his interest and how we’re sort of together.
“You didn’t really need to do that, did you?” Nico keeps his voice low and neutral in tone, though I know exactly what he’s getting at—because he’s always getting at it.
“If you don’t like it, you don’t have to watch. I’ll find someone else to referee.”
Nico sighs. “That’s not what I meant. I just don’t think you need to fight anyone. Not like that.”
I wipe sweat from my face with the bottom of my T-shirt. “How else am I going to stay in tip-top condition?”
“There are plenty of other ways.”
I kick at a loose stone and watch it dart across the hard ground. “But to be a good fighter you have to practice and actually fight people. Lifting weights and running isn’t enough. I need to fight to get better. And I need to get better.”
“You are better,” Nico says. “You’re the best out of all of us. You know that. Everyone knows that. You have been for ages. You’re the strongest we have.”
“Not strong enough. That Enhanced nearly had me. If I hadn’t kissed him—and surprised him—I’d be one of them by now.” As soon as I’ve said the words, I realize I shouldn’t have—reminding Nico of what I did to distract the Enhanced will only make his mood sourer.
His expression darkens, and his nostrils flare as he breathes out heavily.
“I need to be stronger, Nico,” I say quickly. I shake my head, then flex my arms. I feel pumped, and the energy’s buzzing through me. I need to use it. Need to feel my heart pounding. “I have to be stronger. I have to be able to protect myself. It’s always the weak ones who don’t make it. Survival of the fittest.”
Nico grabs my hand. “Keelie, just listen.”
“What?”
“I know you have issues with control—because of what happened—but this isn’t—”
“Issues with control?” I stare at him.
For a second, I think he’s going to look at the ground and back down like he nearly always does—but he doesn’t. Nico raises his head and looks at me straight on.
“I don’t know all the details of what happened to you and Elf and Bea and Mila at your old village. But I know that whatever it was, you think it was your fault. You think it was because you were weak—and now you’re trying to overcompensate.”
Heat rushes to my face, just as tension fills my jaw. “You’re right. You don’t know what happened then—”
“I know the look of a person whose guilt is eating them,” he says quickly. “And this isn’t healthy. All this fighting, obsessing about your muscles and how strong you look, it’s not healthy—not for a girl.”
“Not for a girl?” I let out a shrill laugh.
Nico takes a small step back. “It’s not healthy for anyone to be obsessed with fitness as much as you are.”
I stare at him, unsure whether to feel bewildered or amazed. Part of me can’t believe he’s actually saying this. I flex my muscles, flaunting them in front of him. I know I’m stronger than he is, and I also know that it’s something he doesn’t like. He’s one of those people who believes that men should always be the stronger, better gender. Part of me is surprised that he even went for me, given my strength, but now I realize I’m a challenge for him. He wants to break me, make me weaker. If he can persuade me not to work out as much, so that he’s the stronger of the two of us, he can say he’s conquered me.
“This isn’t healthy?” I raise my eyebrows; two can play at this game. “Well, I’ve seen how out of breath you get on a run—and how you pretend you’re not. And you try to hide it, but you fail, Nico. And now you’re jealous of me—because my level of fitness shows you up. You’re being a typical guy and trying to control me.” My voice is dangerously loud, but I can’t stop now. “Is this what it’s going to be like if we ever get together properly? You trying to stop me from doing things?” I point at him. “Because you have no right.”
Nico holds up his hands. “I’m just saying it’s not your fault, and you don’t need to prove yourself.”
“And I’m saying you need to respect my decision. If I want to fight and train, then I will fight and train. You’re not going to stop me. How dare you talk about what happened at D’Elinous? You know nothing.”
I sta
lk off, fuming. It’s been a few months since Nico and I have had an encounter like that. Most times now, we’re good. Well, more than good.
Angrily, I push away those memories. Still, he can be a jerk.
“Hey, Keelie!”
I look up, see Five coming toward me. She grins and waves.
“Haven’t been kissing any more Enhanced?” she asks. Then she sees the expression on my face and frowns. “What’s happened?”
“Nico,” I mutter. “That’s what’s happened.”
She sighs and rolls her eyes. “Explain.”
I do as we walk back to the huts. When I’ve finished, I expect some sort of solidarity reaction, but she just shrugs.
“He’s just being caring.”
“No, he’s being controlling. There’s a difference. A huge difference.”
“You’re misreading it,” Five says. “Nico’s not trying to stop you from doing all your sporty stuff. He’s worried about what your motivation for it is. Whether it’s harming your mind or something.”
I let out an exasperated sigh. “Not you, as well.”
She holds up her hand. “Hey! I’m perfectly happy to change the subject—say to that Enhanced man.” Excitement shines suddenly across the whole of her face. “What was it really like kissing him?”
I groan.
“Was it like—scary? Because he could’ve converted you at any moment if he’d wanted to. I bet it made it all the hotter too. Gods, imagine if you two fell in love! Think how romantic that would be—forbidden love and all.”
“Forbidden love never ends well,” I say. “It’s not supposed to. That’s why it’s forbidden. And you have a completely unrealistic view of the world. As if one of us would ever be with one of them. Elf’s right. It is disgusting.”
“I haven’t heard you complaining about making out with one of them though,” Five says, raising her eyebrows. “I’m right, aren’t I? He was a great kisser.”
“Well you go and find him then!”
Five smirks. “Maybe that’s why you’re so mad at Nico.”
“What?”
“Because he’s not as good.”
A few choice words come to mind, but I don’t give Five the satisfaction of hearing me say them. Instead, I ask about her and Elf. More specifically, when they’re ever going to get together.
I give her a pointed look. “I know you’re interested. You flirt with him all the time. And it’s not really fair if you don’t make a move on him.”
“More romantic if the guy does it,” she says.
I snort. “Yeah, and Elf’s never going to do that. I guarantee it. But I’m pretty sure he’s in love with you.”
Five blushes, and I know I’ve got her.
“Okay,” she says finally. “But I’m not making any promises.”
I smile, and I’m surprised to realize how much better I feel. “Deal.”
“And one more thing,” Five says. “You really look awful, Keelie. Like you’ve had no sleep for days. Rahn’s got you down on the scouting rota for tonight, so I’d go and get some sleep now if I were you. You can sleep in our hut—Dad’s gone out hunting with Kayden, and Mum’s helping Three with his copper. They’re trying to get the coating off it—you know, the one that burns our fingers.” She straightens up. “I don’t know where Seven is, but she won’t mind you sleeping there. We’ve got the blackout blind up at the moment, so you can get it pretty dark.”
I nod slowly. “Why can’t I sleep in my hut?”
“Didn’t you hear? Mila’s started one of her tea parties in there with Esther and Bea. And Mila’s singing again. They’ll be hours, and you won’t get any sleep in there.”
I can’t help but smile. My youngest sister is amazing at singing, and she sings all the time now.
“Thanks. I’ll go to your hut.”
A few minutes later, I enter the Sarrs’ hut. It’s one of the smallest of all the huts, despite it being home to the biggest family. But that’s just the way things are around here, especially when Rahn is in charge. It’s no secret that he doesn’t like the Sarrs.
The blackout blind is in place above the window, and I pull it down, and the hut plummets into near darkness. I feel my way to the corner where Five’s bed is—a few blankets on top of a grass mattress—and lie down. Something digs into my hip and I sit up, feeling for something on the mattress. But there’s nothing there. I lie down again, then realize that whatever it is isn’t on the mattress, but in the pocket of my jeans.
My fingers close around something pointy inside the pocket. A thick piece of plastic—one of Mila’s jokes. She’s always hiding them in our clothing because she thinks it’s funny when we find them at random times. I scowl, then put it back in my pocket at a different angle, and my fingers brush against something else: the note the Enhanced man gave me. I pull it out. I’ll put it in my other pocket, away from Mila’s plastic stick, and—
Light catches my eye.
Light, from the note.
I sit up. My eyes widen.
I unfold the paper and stare.
Glow-in-the-dark ink?
My mouth dries as I read the words the Enhanced wrote. Everything seems to stop.
I mouth the words over and over, and I start to feel sick.
I know what happened to your parents. I know what you did.
I stare at the paper, faintly aware of how my breathing quickens. The letters jump out at me, and I blink several times, still mouthing the words.
I know what happened to your parents. I know what you did.
My fingers are cold.
But that Enhanced can’t know. He can’t.
I look around quickly as unease fills me. My shoulders roll forward, and my spine is uncomfortable.
He’s bluffing. There’s only one other person who knows what I did, and he’s dead.
I know what you did.
The more I look at the words, the more it sounds like a threat, but that’s stupid. I curse under my breath. It’s just some sick game. It has to be. He realized he shouldn’t have let me go and wanted to unsettle me, scare me. Who knows how many notes like these they give out?
Except they don’t. I know that. Because they don’t let any Untamed get away.
But he did.
And he wasn’t acting normally.
I press my lips together. There’s a metallic taste in my mouth. I fold the note quickly and stuff it back into my pocket. My ears pop as I swallow, and the sudden pain makes me jump. I look around the Sarrs’ hut—still can’t see anything—and suddenly wish I was in my own hut. At least there, I know where everything is and I’m surrounded by my own stuff. But, here, it’s unfamiliar, and it makes me more nervous.
I chew on my lip, then run my hands up and down my arms. I’ll burn the note as soon as I can, when no one’s watching, when no one can question me.
I lie back down, vowing to put the note out of my head. I need to sleep, not worry about something that’s never going to develop any further—because it isn’t. I won’t see that man again. My eyes close, and I concentrate on my breathing, try to get it more regular.
But I can’t sleep now.
I listen to the sounds outside. The voices in the distance. Someone’s banging a stone against something. Something metal. I can hear the bang, bang, bang. Tinny sounds.
Every time I start to think about the Enhanced man’s note, I force myself to think of something else. It doesn’t mean anything. I grit my teeth.
At some point, I must’ve drifted into a semi-sleep, because I’m suddenly aware of Seven gently shaking me, telling me to get up.
I bolt up. “What is it? Enhanced?”
And I look around, part of me expecting to see that Enhanced man again, with his tattoos peeping out from under his crisp white shirt. What if he’s here? What if he’s told them—told them about me, what I did?
My chest rises sharply.
Seven shakes her head. “It’s time to check the lands.”
“Oh, right. Yes
. Uh, give me a moment.”
She leaves the hut quickly.
A minute later, I follow her out. Seven, Esther, and Kayden are waiting a few feet away, all chewing energy bars and talking, but they stop as soon as they see me.
I point toward them. My eyes fall on one of Mila’s skipping ropes nearby. “Are we on foot?”
Kayden nods, and the light emphasizes how he’s greased back his red hair. “We’re checking over that way.” He gestures to the right.
New Kimearo’s roughly in that direction, though not visible from here. It’s a long, long way away, but I feel nervous, threatened.
I shake my head, realize that I’m being stupid. All this tension is what the Enhanced want us to feel. Then they’re justified in saying their way of life is best, that we’d feel better as one of them.
As the four of us head off, a couple of the dogs in tow, I have strong words with myself. I’m not going to let that note affect me. I’m not.
“You all right?” Esther looks across at me as we leave Nbutai behind. She uses one stocky hand to shield the sun from her eyes, then bats her dog away as the animal jumps up at her.
I nod.
“You look awful,” she says. “You’ve gone all white.”
“Hope that doesn’t mean you’re getting ill,” Kayden says. “We don’t want another virus.”
The last time our village got sick, most of us were out of commission for weeks. Rahn was the only one who escaped the virus, and he’d had to raid New Kimearo on his own for medical supplies. It hadn’t been ideal.
We don’t talk much more, we just walk. It’s one of our regular routes. We check the immediate area for any changes and scan as far as we can see. If anything strikes us as unusual, then we either investigate it now or send two of us back for backup.
Esther’s dog runs ahead with the other mutt. I don’t particularly like dogs, but I prefer it when we have one or two of them with us. In general, they’re better at sensing stuff and noticing if anything’s different or wrong.
I half-expect that we’ll find something—discover something—this time, but we don’t. It’s the same as always. There’s nothing to make us worry.
A Dangerous Game Page 5
