Elf is the only one who appears happy to see me. He’s the only one who rushes toward me, but even his movements are jolty, like he’s self-conscious.
“What did he do to you?” His voice is low, and he takes me into our hut, away from the watching eyes.
“Nothing.” I look around. “Where are Bea and Mila?”
“They’re out gathering with Katya, Alan, and Marouska. They should be back soon. Bea was upset, and I thought sticking to her routine would help. Though they’ve been out a while.”
“Why was she upset?” For a second, I feel dizzy. It’s the hunger. “Did Rahn hurt her too?”
“Rahn hurt you?” Elf’s eyes are imploring. “Keelie?”
Rahn’s words come back to me. Don’t tell anyone anythin’.
I shake my head, ignore the throbbing at the base of my skull. “No. I’m not hurt.”
It takes a hell of a lot to hurt me. And if Rahn thinks he has, then he’s wrong. So wrong.
He didn’t even scare me. Not really.
The next day, I busy myself with chores at Nbutai and try to ignore the frosty looks a lot of people give me. I don’t know what lies Rahn’s spread about me, but he must have said something.
The hours pass quickly, and day turns to night. And then I wake up in the early hours, knowing that very soon it’ll be time for me to go and meet Red. We agreed to meet just after sunrise. Part of me tingles at the thought of seeing him, and I don’t know why.
Well, I do. But I shouldn’t think of it like that. It’s not going to be the same as before. Ten years have passed.
And there’s the small matter of what you did.
I push that thought out of my head. These first meetings are precious—my gut tells me that—I can’t taint them. Just can’t.
But, of course, seeing Red again is bound to bring up those memories. But what did I expect? To be able to forget about it? I’m surprised I’ve pushed it out of my mind as much as I have.
I speed up, walking there quickly with legs that tingle with far too much energy and adrenaline. I’ve got a new survival bag on my back—one that contains twine among other things—and I feel confident. The sky is lightening; the rest of Nbutai will be up soon. I left a note for Elf telling him I’d gone to check the snares on the far side of the mountains—the ones no one likes checking because of the distance.
I get to the meeting point in enough time to scout the land around it properly and check for any traps. There aren’t any. Of course there wouldn’t be—this is Red, my best friend. I choose a flat rock to sit on—one that has cover in front of it so I’m not immediately visible—and I wait.
I don’t have to wait long.
I see him way before he sees me.
Red walks confidently, but always double-checking the land around him. Sensible. He carries a small rucksack, and an expensive-looking leather jacket is folded over his arm. When he’s close enough, I see that he has a skin-tight T-shirt on. It looks good on him. Very good.
But it would look better off him.
I look away quickly, embarrassed, even though I know he hasn’t seen me—or heard my thought. I chide myself, don’t even know where it came from. I have to keep control of myself.
I wait until he’s nearly upon me before I reveal myself.
Red jumps back a foot, brings a hand to his chest. “Gods in hell!”
Seeing his mirror eyes turn to me so suddenly, my hand automatically goes to my knife. It’s reassuring to have the weapon on me, but I have to remind myself that he’s not one of them.
“Keelie?” Red moves toward me, as if to embrace me. His watch—a different one this time—looks like it’s made of pure gold, flashes under the early morning sun.
I shake my head. “Show me your pockets. Empty them, and the bag too.”
He rolls his eyes—the action is just visible by the tiny lines that separate his sclerae from his irises. “Really?”
“Really.”
“I told you before, I’m not one of the enemy.” But all the same, Red does as I ask. He knows I can’t be too careful. Neither of us can.
No augmenters are produced from the rucksack. Only a novel in pristine condition, a cap with a fancy logo on that Red looks very proud of, and a—
“You brought a chess set with you?” My eyes widen as I recognize the symbols on the outside of the box, and, immediately, I’m drawn back in time. For a while, Red and I played it nearly every evening. I was by far the better player, but I’d let him win every third or fourth game. Enough to keep him interested.
Red’s grin is infectious. “Of course. And I’m going to take you out…piece by piece.”
He bites his bottom lip, giving me a strong look, and tingles run over me. I get the distinct impression that he’s also running his eyes over me, checking me out, and I hold back a smile. I look good today. Got my best clothes on—the ones that make my body look much better than it does in the garments I sleep in—and my hair is far from greasy.
Stay focused.
“So, how’s the undercover stuff going?”
He shakes his head. “I can’t tell you anything. For the safety of both of us.”
I nod.
“Besides, I don’t want to ruin these meetings with boring undercover stuff.” His gaze drops down my body, then back up. With any other man, that would annoy me. But not with Red.
“So why are we meeting?” I ask, raising my eyebrows. The corners of my mouth twitch.
“You want me to spell it out?”
“Yes. Spell it out.” I smile and feel confident and alive in a way I haven’t done in a long time.
Red steps nearer, and, again, I find myself staring at him. He’s filled out well. Muscular. He doesn’t look like the type of man who works out just to get a muscular body to intimidate people with. He looks like he actually uses his body. And the tattoos on his arms just set it all off.
“You want to know why we’re meeting? Why we’re really meeting?” His voice gets rougher, and there’s something in his tone that speaks to me within.
I nod, my eyes darting to his. I try to see beneath the mirrors.
“To play chess,” he says, indicating the box.
I laugh, then I see his face. “You’re serious?”
“Can’t get a decent game of chess back there.” He jerks his thumb behind him, and part of me expects to see the distant outline of New Kimearo breaking the skyline. Except it’s not in view, not from here.
I push my hair back from my face. I’m hot and sticky.
Red opens the chess set. He’s got that gold ring in his ear again, like in the dealership office. “The enemy says chess is the only acceptable form of war as it’s not real violence, but no one’s competitive when they play. It’s like they don’t care. You don’t know how many times I’ve dreamed of playing chess with you.”
I tilt my head to one side. “You’ve dreamt of playing chess with me?”
Red nods. “Many a night. And you know what?”
“What?”
“I always take you—the queen—with my bishop. And then…it always turns into something more.” He picks up a bishop and holds it up, giving me a mischievous grin. “Some of the pieces are really quite…phallic. I wonder what my dream means.”
My eyes widen. “Well, you’re certainly not shy, are you?” I look down at where the other pieces are. Two can play at this game. My hand seizes the white king, and I place it in his hand. “Is that you?”
“The king? Sure.”
“Well, it’s a shame you’re the weakest piece on the board. You wouldn’t have the strength to get me.”
“Ah, but I’m the most valuable. The whole game is about keeping me safe.”
I pick up the queen next. “But I’m the most powerful. And the king doesn’t even do anything. Not really. Whereas the queen gets lots of action.”
Red grins.
It feels strange flirting with him. Nico and I don’t really flirt. We’re both just…there, together. Well,
sort of together.
Nico.
I try not to think about him. After all, I haven’t done anything wrong. This is just harmless flirting. It’s not like I’m meeting up with Red for sex or anything.
Of course that makes me think about having sex with Red and—
I concentrate on setting up the chessboard on a low flat-topped rock, forcing all other thoughts to the back of my mind.
Red and I sit either side of the rock, cross-legged. I play white and make the first move, then we settle into the game.
I look up at him after a few moments of playing in silence. “This feels weird.”
“Very weird,” he says as he takes one of my pawns. “I’m beating you easily—now that’s the definition of weird.” Then he pauses and looks at me. “I like it out here.”
“Me too,” I say.
We play several more moves. My hands shake a little. I try not to look at him as I play, but I can’t help it. I steal glances at him, and there’s something very thrilling about sitting only a few inches away from a man who looks Enhanced.
After ten minutes, Red leans back away from the board. “It’s difficult undercover, in their cities, towns. I’m a nervous wreck in them, constantly sure I’m going to get caught.”
“You didn’t look like you were a nervous wreck in the office,” I say.
“Good actor.” He shrugs. “But I was, under it all. Especially when I realized it was you.” He exhales hard and shuts his eyes for a moment. “There aren’t many of us undercover, but a while ago a few converted.”
“Willingly?”
He nods and looks pained. I start to reach across to touch his arm, to offer comfort, but I stop myself. I don’t think he’s even noticed.
“They couldn’t handle it. The fear, the nerves. Being undercover made them more…” He wipes his hands on his thighs, then looks up at me again. His mirror eyes flash. “It exaggerated all the typical Untamed suffering. You know, the bad stuff we feel that the Enhanced want to cure us of.”
“But it’s not bad stuff,” I say. “It’s just part of life. It’s part of who we are, of being human.”
Red makes a non-committal sound.
I lean forward. “Are you all right? Red?”
He smiles weakly. “Do you believe you’re suffering?”
“Living so we can choose to feel real things isn’t suffering.” I pause, then I do reach out. His hand is cold. “You’re not….”
“No,” he says. He turns on his smile, and it completely transforms his face. “It’s just difficult living with them all the time. It’s why I need to come out here, need to see you.” He squeezes my hand quickly, then taps the board so all the pieces jump up slightly. “Your move, K.”
I turn my attention back to the board, but I can’t concentrate—that’s the problem—not with him sitting so close to me. Just on the other side of the board. So close, I could—
I see the blood around his body, notice the way it fans out so perfectly. A beautiful circle.
I flinch, turn my head quickly.
“What is it?” Red jumps up, and—because of his sudden movement—I do too, and we’re both automatically in alert mode, looking around for the Enhanced.
I narrow my eyes, searching every rock, every cranny. My knife is in my hand before I realize it.
But there’s no one here. And I know why I flinched.
“I don’t know,” I say. “I just—just got a feeling.”
The knife of madness slices deeper, Keelie.
I take a deep breath, but I can see the knife in front of me—the one from my dream, not the one I’m holding. The one that is invisible to most, but chases me.
“You think we’ve been followed?” Red’s voice is low. “Your people or mine?”
I don’t answer for a long few moments, just stay looking out at the sand and the rocks. The knife will disappear soon—I hope.
“Keelie?”
“I don’t think there’s anyone there.” But my words don’t sound quite right.
I step back, and my foot catches on a stone, and I fall onto the dry earth, feel the sand get into my hair. I groan, rolling over. Embarrassment floods me.
“Keelie?” Red looks amused as he leans down, offers me a hand.
But I don’t take it.
I stare at him.
His eyes suddenly look dimmer. The mirrors are fading. He could soon pass for Untamed….
My eyes go to his lips. I wish they wouldn’t, but they do. My eyes don’t obey me anymore, and I look at those lips. Magnificent. They look full, especially for a guy, and my gaze follows the curve of them. My breathing speeds up.
My hand stretches to meet his, and the contact zaps warmth through me. I pull him toward me, suddenly feeling empowered, in control.
“Kee—” Red stumbles, falls, but catches himself, holds his body above mine, not touching me. And his lips are so close.
Everything stops.
I stare at him, and he just holds himself there. A structure over me. Secure. I can’t see the definition of his eyes, but I know he’s looking into mine.
After about five seconds—five long seconds in which I’m very aware of him as he hovers over me—his arms begin to shake. I look at his muscles. He shouldn’t be shaking.
“Gods, Keelie.” He makes a deep sound at the back of his throat.
Then he leans down.
His lips brush the hollow of my neck, tenderly at first, then with a slight force. I feel his tongue there, and the slight graze of his teeth. Electricity runs through my body. I lift my head, push my hips up too. My right hipbone presses into his, and then he lets himself fall against me completely. But gently.
Our bodies meet, and the pull within me gets stronger. My hands run across his back, up and down, and then they’re in his tousled hair. I close my eyes.
His knee pushes my legs apart, and I gasp, eyes flying open.
His face is so close….
Just as his lips are about to meet mine, I turn my head away.
Red’s eyes widen, and he looks at me. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have.” Then he moves over to the left and sits so we’re not touching.
Neither of us says anything. I listen to the internal raging within me. I wanted him to kiss me properly, to keep touching me. So why did I stop?
I sit up and look at him. “Why did you write those words on the note? That first one. I know what you did.”
I’m totally ruining the moment more than I already have. And I don’t even know where that question came from.
“I told you, to get your attention.” He sounds a bit annoyed. Or maybe I imagine that.
I fold my arms.
Just drop it.
But I don’t.
“You could’ve written something else. You could’ve written, Hi Keelie. It’s Red. I’m still alive. That would’ve worked. That would’ve caught my attention.”
“Didn’t we talk about this before?” He sighs. “You didn’t recognize me at New Kimearo—even when we kissed, you didn’t recognize me.” It sounds like an accusation, and it’s something that hurts him, I can tell. “If I’d given you a note like that, you’d never have believed me. No. I had to be careful. Anyway, it worked. We’re both here. We’re both together… I’m sorry if it bothered you.”
How could it not bother me?
“Your note gave me nightmares.” I shrug. Maybe I would’ve had them anyway.
Red sighs, then reaches out. His touch is soft on my arm. “I’m sorry. I just… I thought it was the best thing to put. I needed you to realize it was me. I’m sorry.”
He pulls me close, an arm around me. I look up at him.
“Do you get nightmares…about that night?” I ask, and it feels strange talking about nightmares with Red, when usually it’s Elf I talk to.
But Elf doesn’t know the whole story. He just took my word for it that there was no one left to save at the village.
Red shakes his head, and he holds me, keeps holding me. I star
e out across the desert land, my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. My eyes fall on our shadows. I can’t see where his ends and mine begins. We look like one unit.
And then I realize how close I am to him, and I feel butterflies stirring in my stomach again. I’m so close to him, I could move my head slightly, lift it up, and kiss him.
And he would kiss me back, wouldn’t he?
“I can’t believe I’ve found you,” Red whispers into my hair.
“Me neither,” I say, holding onto every ounce of willpower in my body.
Red and I arrange to meet again, and then I leave quickly, feeling like I’m on a countdown.
No one at Nbutai appears to have missed me, and I tell Elf the snares were empty, then slip into the usual routine: checking stock, doing chores, and maintaining my strength. But, the whole time I do it all, I feel different. Excited? Nervous? Red didn’t want to talk about that night, so I don’t understand why he hinted at it in his note.
Unless he’s as messed up by it as I am and part of him wants to talk about it… He just can’t bring himself to actually do it?
I’m almost scared to go to sleep that night, because I expect to be overrun with the nightmares, but, for once, I sleep peacefully. By morning, I feel refreshed. As refreshed and peaceful as Bea and Mila look, still asleep. I take a moment and watch Bea. She hasn’t woken up early today and gone for her usual early morning walk. That’s…odd. She’ll skip other parts of her routine sometimes—if she’s run out of time or has got distracted—but the early morning walk is pretty standard. The only other times she hasn’t gone out were when she was ill. She says she likes the time when no one else is about, to clear her head before she makes Mila’s breakfast.
Elf looks at me as I leave the hut. He’s sitting just outside.
“You were dreaming about Red,” he says.
His words make me go cold, and, suddenly, I feel self-conscious.
A Dangerous Game Page 10
