by Amie Denman
“Her younger brother volunteered with the forest fire service last summer out West,” Kevin said. “He was only twenty-one. A fire got away from them, and his team got trapped and hunkered down under fire blankets.” He shook his head.
“Didn’t make it, did he?” Tyler asked, his expression somber.
“No. When she moved here, she was trying to get away from...that.”
“Oh,” Tyler said. “I see. That’s why she held you at arm’s length for so long.” He got up and crossed his arms. “This is messy, but you don’t know what she’s thinking until you ask.”
Kevin nodded, but the movement hurt his head. He rubbed his eyes. He just wanted to go to sleep, whether someone was there or not.
“What if I call Jane?” Tyler suggested. “She’ll either come herself or she’ll send Nicole. Either way, you’ll know where you stand and either one of them will fuss less than Mom or Dad.”
Kevin thought about it. Even if Nicole was scared away by what happened today, even if it opened a raw wound, he knew one thing. She would come over. He closed his eyes and sank into the couch while he listened to his brother talk to someone on the phone. He didn’t hear the end of the conversation as he let sleep take a shot at healing his sore body.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
AS NICOLE WALKED up the front steps of Kevin’s navy blue house, she steeled herself for one of the toughest things she’d ever have to do. Not the toughest. She’d faced the loss of someone she dearly loved a year ago and survived. But she’d had no choice in that.
She had a choice now. She chose to be here, to check on Kevin as his brother had asked her to do.
Emotionally, this was no time to tell him what was in her heart and on her mind. He was already down and probably hurting. She couldn’t tell him that whatever was between them was over. Not today anyway.
Tyler had said the front door would be unlocked and his brother was sleeping, so Nicole turned the latch as quietly as she could, hoping not to awaken Kevin. It would be easier if he were asleep—the coward’s way out, she knew.
But the choice was taken out of her hands when Arnold’s beagle-baying sounded the alarm as soon as the door latch turned. Trying to minimize the damage as much as possible, Nicole stepped quickly into the front living room and showed herself to Arnold, who made a sudden switch from howling to begging for her attention.
Kevin was there on the couch. Soot streaked, wearing his fire department uniform and only one sock. He swiped a hand over his face and sat up, confusion in his eyes.
“You came,” he said, in a tone a person might use when they find out Santa truly exists. Happy, but surprised.
Nicole smiled. “Of course. Tyler said you needed someone, and Jane closed the gallery. She’s with Charlie.”
“She is?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t need a babysitter, but I’m glad you’re here.”
Kevin pushed off the couch as if he meant to stand, but Nicole dashed over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t. You’re supposed to be resting.”
Kevin closed his hands around her waist and pulled her down next to him on the couch. He put an arm around her. Her plan to keep her distance physically had been completely derailed ten seconds after she’d walked through the door.
“When I was in that building trying to find a way out, I pictured your face. I thought of you.” He swallowed hard. Nicole was so close she could almost feel the movement.
She brushed his hair back from his face and wiped a streak of dirt from his forehead. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek as he held her.
This was not going as she planned. She should put her guard up. Make it easier to leave as soon as she figured out where she was going to go.
“Thank you,” he said, his lips brushing her neck. “Even though I’m the one in the business of rescuing people, it seems like you’re always helping me out. The amusement park yesterday and now coming over here today.”
Was it only just yesterday they’d gone to the theme park and everything seemed so perfect?
Nicole struggled to keep her breath even. Her heart raced and she closed her eyes. Despite the smoky smell that clung to Kevin, she still found his scent lingering underneath.
Why had she let herself go this far? It made turning back almost impossible.
Kevin pulled away and dipped his chin, looking her in the eye. “I’m sorry,” he said.
Nicole breathed in a lungful of air that bore the smell of fire and smoke.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” she said. “What happened today wasn’t your fault.” She smiled, trying to lighten the weight hanging between them. “I’m sure you didn’t ask to get trapped in a fi—” She stopped, unable to say the word. A guttural sob came out of nowhere and suddenly she was crying. Her eyes welled with tears and distorted her view of Kevin’s face. She couldn’t stop.
Kevin pulled her close and leaned against the back of the couch. Her cheek was on his chest and her tears soaked his shirt. He said nothing, just held her tight as she sobbed.
She was glad he didn’t ask why she was crying. It was for her brother, trapped and killed by a fire. It was for Kevin, trapped but very much alive. It was because of her love for him that she couldn’t bear, a love that hurt too much to continue.
Nicole completely gave in to her tears, her sorrow. Kevin’s arms felt safe, providing her a haven to let her feelings rush over her without the fear of falling. She wished he could have been there to hold her as she grieved her brother’s death a year ago.
She didn’t know how long she cried, but when she could finally take a breath, she remembered why she was here. If she ever had to cry over Kevin, lost and dead in a fire, she would never stop crying.
She had to end this.
Arnold laid his head on her knee and whimpered.
Kevin’s shirt under her cheek was drenched. He kissed her temple and rubbed her back.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I know what today put you through.”
Nicole shook her head. “Today had a happy ending,” she said. She met his eyes. “I’m so glad you and Charlie are all right.” She put her hand on his chest and pushed herself up.
Kevin winced for only a second, but it was enough.
“Where are you hurt?” she asked.
“Nowhere serious.” He brushed a leftover tear from her cheek. “Some bruised ribs, a small hole in my foot. Mild concussion.”
“That sounds serious.”
“It isn’t. I’ll be on light duty in a few days.” He smiled. “And I’m not supposed to drive or sign any important legal documents for the next day or so.”
“How did you get a hole in your foot?” she asked. Talking about practical problems was a welcome distraction from the elephant in the room.
He shrugged. “Lost my boot when I fell a couple of floors. Must have encountered something sharp.”
She touched his chest lightly, running her fingers over the ribs she imagined were damaged. “You fell a couple of floors?”
“Charlie and I were on a staircase that dropped off into nowhere. Buildings under construction have all kinds of surprises, but we didn’t expect that one. He only fell one story, but I went down a few more. Lucky for me, I ended up on the ground floor, not too far from an exit.”
“And your concussion? You were wearing a helmet. I saw it on you when you were first out of the building.”
The image of him on the ground struggling with his mask and helmet was something she would not forget.
“That’s why it’s only a mild one. I think I hit fifteen things on the way down. Knocked the wind out of me.” He smiled. “I’m okay, but I just realized how disgusting I smell.”
“And your shirt is soaked. Sorry.”
“I’m supposed to keep the stitches in my foot dry, but I can man
age a bath if I hang my foot out of the tub. Feel like helping me?” he asked, a hint of a smile curving his lips.
She stood. “I’ll fill the tub for you and wait outside the door.”
Kevin’s grin faded. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it and nodded.
Nicole headed for the bathroom before she lost her nerve. She closed the tub drain, turned on the warm water, and swiped the bar of soap from the shower. Kevin’s bathroom was the old-fashioned kind with a separate tub and shower. Nicole put down a bathmat and took a towel from a recessed cabinet. When she turned around, Kevin stood in the doorway.
He pulled his T-shirt over his head and tossed it through his bedroom door on the other side of the hall. Dark bruises colored his back and ribs. Nicole gasped.
“Do I look that bad?” he asked.
She pulled him into the bathroom and put his back to the mirror. “Can you twist your head and see that?”
Kevin grimaced. “It feels just as good as it looks. Must be where I landed on my air pack.”
“You’re lucky you didn’t break something.”
Kevin leaned against the bathroom counter and put two fingers under Nicole’s chin. “Are you okay?”
“Sure,” she said, looking down instead of meeting his beautiful eyes. “I think the water is ready for you.”
Nicole looked away while Kevin finished getting undressed and climbed into the bathtub. He left one foot hanging over the rim. Because it was suspended in the air, Nicole could clearly see the bandage covering stitches on the bottom.
“It’s no big deal,” Kevin said as he noticed her gaze. “The tetanus shot they gave me was worse.”
He leaned back and dipped his head under the water, letting it cover his hair and face, then scrubbed himself and rinsed his face off. He started down his chest next. She sat on the closed toilet lid and watched, the rim of the tub concealing his body from her eyes.
“Want me to get your bathrobe?” she asked.
“If you don’t mind. It’s hanging on the back of my bedroom door. But don’t hurry—I’m enjoying this bath.”
Nicole exited, and glanced around his bedroom as she retrieved the robe. Neatly made bed, simple but effective blinds, no dust bunnies rolling around on the floor. Arnold lay on a rug at the food of the bed, watching her. She rubbed his ears. “He’ll be all right,” she said, reassuring the dog with the perpetually sad face. She glanced at the clock on his bedside table. Almost six. She should do something about dinner.
Nicole took the robe into the bathroom and put it next to the tub. “Be right back,” she said. “Call if you need me.”
She went to the kitchen and rummaged in the cabinets, finding pasta and a jar of sauce. She looked in the freezer. Frozen chicken. Frozen vegetables. She could do this. The man needed to eat and she needed to keep her hands busy so her heart wouldn’t break.
A sound in the doorway made her turn. Kevin, wet-haired and wearing the blue robe, leaned on the door frame. “If you’re thinking about cooking dinner for me, I won’t object. I haven’t eaten at all today, except for a few crackers they gave me at the hospital.”
“Good, you have to eat,” she said, indicating the prescription bottle on the counter with a nod of her head.
“I could have something delivered. If you’ll stay and eat with me. Please,” he said.
“I’m staying. And I’m happy to cook. It gives me something to do.”
“Do you want to talk about this?”
“This?” she asked.
“The reason you’re so anxious to be busy.”
She faced him and leaned against the counter. What could she say? He was everything she wanted, except for one glaring flaw. And she would never ask him to give up a career he loved. She had no right. Falling in love with him was not what she had in mind when she came to this town. But it was the one thing that meant she couldn’t stay.
“When I came to Cape Pursuit, I needed to start over.” Her voice shook. She didn’t want to have this conversation here and now. It wasn’t fair to him. Not today.
“You’ve been really successful with the gallery and your photography. That’s a pretty big start.” He smiled. “You even got a new door for your car.”
She wanted to laugh, could see that Kevin was trying to make this easier.
“And what do you need now?” he asked. He dipped his chin and looked up at her. She loved it when he did that. It was one of the things she would miss most about him. And his eyes. His strength. His sweetness. Even his dog.
She glanced at Arnold, who had followed her into the kitchen, waiting patiently next to his food bowl. His empty food bowl. Poor old guy.
“I don’t know,” she said. She walked over and took one of the cans of dog food from a neat stack on the counter. She peeled the lid back and scooped the food into Arnold’s bowl. “But maybe I’ll figure it out while I’m cooking.” She straightened and pointed toward the living room. “Go put your feet up and I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.”
* * *
NO MATTER HOW tired his body was, his brain wouldn’t surrender. He heard Nicole working in his kitchen, cooking for him. The act was so intimate, yet so everyday. He was starving, but he’d gladly sacrifice food to talk to Nicole instead and hear what was going on in her head.
He was afraid he already knew. Something about the way she’d said she didn’t know what she wanted made him pretty darn sure she did know but didn’t want to tell him. He’d known for months that she never wanted to risk the heartbreak that comes with loving someone who has a dangerous job. She was no coward—that was obvious from the way she came through for other people. But she’d been hurt so badly by the shocking death of her brother, who could blame her for steering clear of someone who could die in a similar way?
Almost had. Kevin hadn’t allowed a morbid thought to enter his mind about how close he’d come to getting measured for a coffin today. It was a risk he’d always accepted.
But he couldn’t ask Nicole to accept it, too. He’d been a fool for thinking of a future with her when she’d told him she wasn’t interested from the start. It had certainly started to feel like that was changing lately, but he’d lost more in today’s fire than just a boot.
He closed his eyes and inhaled the aroma of chicken. It would be so nice to have dinner with Nicole tonight and tomorrow night and the night after that.
“Wake up.”
He heard the soft voice and the touch on his shoulder. When had he fallen asleep?
“Do you want me to keep it warm and you can eat it later when you’re not so tired?” Nicole asked.
He opened his eyes and turned his head on the pillow. Nicole knelt next to the couch. Her face was pink from the heat of the stove.
“I love you,” he said.
Nicole’s eyes flew wide and she sat back on her heels.
Holy moly. Did he really say that out loud?
A red glow radiated along Nicole’s cheeks. Judging from the heat in his own, Kevin knew he was flushed like a traffic light.
Nicole stood. “You’ve been taking medication on an empty stomach.” She took his hand and pulled him off the couch. “You better eat now.”
Kevin followed her to the kitchen, misery dogging him with every step. Had he just made a bad day worse? If he wanted to blurt out something like that, there had to be a dozen better places and times.
The table was set for two with plates full of delicious-smelling food. Kevin waited for her to sit before taking his chair.
“This is wonderful,” he said. “Thank you.”
“You haven’t tried it yet,” she said.
“I know a good thing when I see it.”
Nicole didn’t answer, but he saw a hint of her smile.
They ate silently, with an occasional groan from Arnold who laid his head on Kevin’s good foot.
<
br /> “Sorry there’s no dessert,” Nicole said.
“We could go out for ice cream. But you’d have to drive.”
She shook her head. “I think I should leave you alone to get some rest.”
It didn’t sound good. The way she said I should leave you alone.
Kevin picked up both empty plates and hobbled over to the sink. He rinsed them and left them for later. Nicole had already washed the pots and pans she’d used. The whole kitchen was spotless.
“There are leftovers in containers in your fridge. For tomorrow,” she said.
“I was hoping you’d come back tomorrow.”
“Kevin, I...”
He leaned on the sink and opened his arms, hoping she’d step into them. But she didn’t.
“I have to go,” she said.
“No, you don’t. Nicole, I understand. Today freaked you out. But things could be so great between us. I don’t want to give up on that. On us.”
Her eyes shone with tears, and when she looked down, one streaked over her cheek. He couldn’t stand it. He closed the distance between them and hugged her tight.
“Promise me you’ll think about it,” he said. “And I promise you I won’t let you go without a fight.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
JANE CLOSED THE GALLERY, fatigue in her every movement. The hotel fire had riveted all the tourists until the drama simmered down, and then they had turned to shopping full force. She was appreciative for every piece of artwork that sold. Each sale was a step toward her financial independence, and that of her child. She had already worked with Nicole to design a budget based on average summer and winter sales that would accommodate an extra health insurance policy, child care and the necessary days off that came with a baby.
She could do this. But she wasn’t going to do it alone—not when there was no reason except her own stubbornness. She’d wondered all afternoon how things were going with Nicole and Kevin, but she hadn’t heard from her friend. That was either the best or worst sign, and she suspected the worst. Nicole’s tender heart when it came to loving and losing a firefighter had been so sorely tried, Jane doubted Nicole could withstand the storm of emotions. Jane would be there to help Nicole pick up the pieces. Later.
