She realized she was going to have to push the power a bit more than that.
She lit two candles on her altar and prayed to the goddess of love to send Sid back her way again.
“I’m not quite done with him yet,” she explained to the spirit.
Toni rubbed her hands together nervously as she prayed from one school of thought to another. Each time, she imagined herself explaining to whomever would listen that the prayer was necessary and the only way she could ever hope to connect with him once more.
It didn’t seem to matter.
By nine there was still no phone call.
Toni was going crazy wondering if he would call. She didn’t even care to watch The Bachelor and instead pulled on her coat and boots and went out into the darkened streets of Hermana.
In a way, she was relieved to be alone. She didn’t know what she wanted to do with the rest of the night, but staying in the house going nuts wasn’t going to do her any good.
She wandered along until she reached the beach.
It always ends up to be the beach, she told herself. Why is that?
* * *
Toni walked along the beach, the waves thundering and splashing. She saw Natasha and hurried over to her.
“Natasha, I’m so glad to see you,” Toni said as she hugged the tall, lean woman.
Natasha stared at her in disbelief. “Did we have a meeting or something?”
“No, I was just hoping to see you.”
“Did you do the spell? Did you do what you were supposed to do?”
“Oh yes, Natasha. I did everything exactly as I was supposed to, and now Sid isn’t talking to me.
“Why not? What did you do now?”
“I didn’t do anything. He just got all pissy at everything. He didn’t like the spell that got us into this mess.”
“But he was there too.”
“Yes, he certainly was.”
“So why is he blaming you for something he participated in?”
Toni stared at Natasha. “Men are such idiots sometimes, aren’t they?”
Natasha nodded. “It’s okay. We need them for other things, like changing lightbulbs,” she joked.
“I want a helluva lot more than some lightbulb changing,” Toni said.
“You know what I mean.”
“So do you think I’ll see him again? You always know what’s going on.”
Natasha took Toni’s hands and held them. She closed her eyes, as if feeling Toni’s vibrations.
“Yes, you’ll see him. No, it’s not over. Relax. Let him be who he is, and you’ll be a lot happier in the long run. He has something personal he’s wrestling with. Nothing to do with you.”
“Thanks, Natasha.”
“I must go now,” Natasha said. “I have much to do before morning.”
“Good night,” Toni said.
As Toni continued to walk along the boardwalk, she thought about Sid. They had to work on their communication. He was a strange man, and she hoped that Natasha was right about their paths crossing again.
There were so many sounds. Cars roaring by on the distant highway, the murmurings of people talking as they strolled along the street, the waves crashing, all rolled around with the thoughts that cluttered her mind. The promise of spring made her hopeful for growth in her own life. Gwen had once told her the days immediately after her birthday were the most auspicious.
“The intent you put out in the universe will be the one that has repercussions until your next birthday,” Gwen had said. “Good or bad.”
Toni thought about all the things that had happened right after her birthday. Meeting Sid, performing the circle, witnessing a murder, bringing the dead back to life... she hoped the rest of the year would be less eventful.
She walked along, wondering about Sid. She hoped he was okay. She thought about calling him on her cell phone but decided against it. She’d give him another day to process all that had happened. It wasn’t every day that the dead came back to life, Easter season or not. Maybe he just didn’t like to be around the dead.
The whole ritual to bring back Violet and Norm still gnawed at her. She couldn’t shake the disgust she had experienced when sewing the flesh back onto the couple. She wondered from where Natasha had obtained it and if Natasha herself had so neatly put it into Ziploc baggies.
And Sid. He just hadn’t’ handled the whole situation well. He’d had too much thrown at him all at once. She should have never taken him to the swinger’s club so soon.
Did it really even matter anymore? It was done. All done and over.
She thought about other men who had come and gone from her life. The parade was endless. Even those she liked, or thought she liked, or imagined she could have liked, disappeared.
Often it was her own fault. She was loud and brassy. She enjoyed booze and laughter and pulling pranks. But Toni imagined her stubbornness and impulsiveness was what drove men away.
It wasn’t her fault she was curious, that she yearned to taste and try everything. She’d never understood people who lived in a world of denial. “Don’t kiss him, don’t touch her, don’t eat that, oh you can’t date more than one person at a time. You can’t marry more than one person at a time.” Who made all those rules, and when had she ever promised she would keep them all?
Uneasy energy surged through her, and she ran the rest of the way along the boardwalk. The air was crisp as it filled her lungs, but it was a welcome relief from the stale air of the bar. She had lived 25 years on the earth. Twenty-five years of breathing the same air in the same body with the same lungs. Twenty-five years of wondering why there were rules and why her opinion wasn’t always wanted. Twenty-five years of wondering just who was in charge, anyway?
She had to be in charge.
After all, this was her life. Her very own life. There were no dress rehearsals for life. There were no warm-ups or do-overs. Each minute ticked from a start to a stop and was never seen again. Each season was different from the next. Patterns shifted in familiar ways, yet no two days were ever the same. She could wake up fresh and excited one day and witness the death of a pet or a loved one, or someone being injured and watch the whole world change.
She ran down the darkened streets of Hermana, her thighs throbbing but her urgency to pound her frustration and sadness from her system more important.
By the time she arrived home that night, she was exhausted. It took all her energy to hit the shower before passing out.
Chapter Twelve
Life is an adventure. Embrace it and hang on for the ride.
The late night jog had obviously jarred something inside her, for when she woke, Toni was ready to go to the gym. She could smell the gym smells before she even opened her eyes and craved the machines to pull and stretch her body.
She didn’t have to worry about taking a shower or even going to work. She had the day off. Mondays at the bar were still dead in April, and there was no point in having tons of staff. She kept her cell phone with her just in case her boss decided to call her in, but it was quite unlikely.
She threw a fresh hand towel, hand sanitizer and a bottle of water into her gym bag, then double-checked that she had a lock and key for her locker and clean underwear.
When she was ready to go, she looked at the clock. Lord, but it wasn’t even eight yet. She hadn’t even had her coffee. There was something definitely wrong with her. She never left the house early or forgot to make coffee.
New beginnings, new routines. She had to establish some sort of different vibes into her life. She had to make room for new ideas and new people. She wondered if Sid had emailed her. She was tempted to look at her computer, but she decided against it. So what if he had? So what if he hadn’t? Would her world change? Would she not go to the gym because he did or didn’t email?
She decided it was time to focus on herself, and thoughts of Sid could just drift somewhere else.
The gym was a good healthy fifteen-minute walk away. It had rained during the
night, which left the sidewalks damp and slippery. As she headed down the street, she was amazed at how many people were out and about; running, jogging, walking in groups or couples. The amount of dogs being walked was rather mind-blowing as well. Everyone it seemed had a canine companion this early in the day.
A beautiful German Shepherd trotted toward her, and she smiled at it, then she berated herself for being an idiot. As if a dog knew she was smiling or even what it meant. If anything, it probably thought she was trying to attack it when she showed her pearly whites.
The Shepherd wagged its tail at her, and she leaned down to pet it. The dog had long hair, and its owner, a tall, middle-aged man, had long hair as well.
“What’s your dog’s name?” she asked.
“Brian,” the man said with a chuckle.
“Brian? That’s kind of a weird name for a dog, isn’t it?”
“Well, he’s named after Brian like in Family Guy. Or even ‘Life of Brian.’ Ever see that?”
“God yes, I love Monty Python,” Toni said as she patted the dog’s head. He panted and sat patiently while Toni ran her hands along the soft, thick fur.
“You like dogs too?” the man asked.
“Yes, I do like dogs. I’d love to have one, but I’m so busy. It wouldn’t be fair to have an animal.”
“Well, there are people who will walk your dogs for you. I use the services now and again myself.”
“I didn’t realize we had such things here in town.”
“Sure, why not? If you’ve thought of something, chances are someone else had thought of it too. And still someone else has likely tried to make money at any given idea.”
“Money makes the world go around. We all know that.”
“Sure it does. As does love. And sex.” The man winked. He had deep brown eyes, and his hair fell past his collar. His height was nearly intimidating. Toni knew very few people who were as tall as he was.
“I’m Adam,” the man said as he held out his hand.
“I’m Toni,” she said. “Pleased to make your acquaintance.”
“I’m happy to meet you, Toni,” Adam said. “Perhaps we’ll run into each other another day.” He led the dog away, and Toni continued her rush toward the gym.
She couldn’t believe an early morning gym class was already in progress when she arrived. Quickly, she threw her stuff into a locker and fell into step with the other ladies.
The instructor was thin and looked well put together. She hollered at the class, part boot camp, part motivational speaker as she led them through jumping jacks and sit-ups. Toni was panting before she had been in the room ten minutes.
As her brain went into automatic pilot for the ritual motions, she was able to look around the gym. The exercise class had about thirty people in it. Who were all these people and how crazy were they to be exercising so early in the morning?
In the other parts of the gym, people worked on various machines. There were ladies on the elliptical and treadmills staring at the morning talk shows on the miniature monitors mounted to the machines. Other women were lifting weights both free style and on the exercise machines. With a grin, Toni saw several men in the gym sweating it out as well. She wondered what kind of jobs they must have that allowed them to pay for a gym membership and actually be at the gym on a Monday morning.
One of the men at the weights on the perimeter of the aerobics space caught her eye. He was dark-skinned with wavy, black hair. His engaging, blue eyes kept catching hers as he watched her go through the paces with the instructor. He had large, bulging muscles that he was grooming as he lifted a massive amount of weight.
Toni watched him, impressed with how his biceps bulked out and the skin on them gleamed with shiny sweat. He watched her watching him and grinned at her. She smiled back and stared at his hands. His fingers were large and meaty, and she wondered how they would feel on her body. As she jumped up and down, she imagined his flat fingertips tweaking her nipples and parting her pussy lips. How many of those large, thick fingers would fit easily in her groin, and how many would make it split apart?
And his chest.
How wonderful would that hard, broad chest feel pressed against hers as she lay flat on her back, his breath hot on her neck?
Toni could imagine him in her and around her with ease.
* * *
By the time the exercise class was over, her head was spinning. She made plans in her mind to take a short nap before she had to go to work. What was the point of this strenuous early morning shit when she just wanted to pass out afterward?
She quickly changed, figuring she’d take a quick shower after her nap. She grabbed her coat and stuffed her workout shoes into her gym bag, then put in her earbuds and clicked on her iPod as she headed out. As she left the lobby of the club, she noticed the man she’d been staring at was sitting on one of the couches, reading a paper. He had obviously grabbed his coat and gear in a hurry, as sweat still glowed on his forehead. He looked up at her and smiled as she walked by, fiddling with her iPod.
Toni had walked a short ways down the street when she heard a noise behind her. She turned down Eminem’s angry ranting and realized someone was calling to her.
It was the man from the gym.
“Wait,” he said as he walked quickly toward her.
Toni stared at him. “What?”
“I remember you. I’ve seen you at the clubs,” he said with a wink, tossing his hair. “I’ve seen a lot of you.”
“I remember you too. You like high shoes.”
“I love to be Agatha. Are you looking for a girlfriend?”
“Not a high-maintenance one like Agatha,” Toni said as she walked.
He kept up with her. “My man name is Baxter.”
“For real?” Toni asked. “I didn’t think anyone was called that anymore.”
“Well, I’ am. Lucky me,” he said.
“No wonder you yearn to be Agatha.”
Baxter laughed. “I guess.”
“It’s okay. I’m not too excited about Antonia Luisa Bernardo,” Toni said.
“Now that’s a mouthful,” Baxter laughed.
“Yep, I am.”
“Say, what are you doing right now?” he asked.
“I have to work at noon.”
“Do you want to have a morning quickie?”
“My, aren’t you the forward one,” she said.
“Well, I’ve learned in life that if you don’t ask for something, chances are you’ll never get it. And what’s the worst that can happen? You’ll say no,” Baxter said, stopping to look at her with his wide, blue eyes.
Toni stared up at him. “What if I say yes?”
“My apartment is just down the street.”
* * *
Toni lathered Baxter’s body as he did the same to her. They soaped each other up with long, languid strokes, using their hand to softly knead each other’s flesh. Baxter unhooked the showerhead and used it to rinse the soap from Toni’s body. He then did the same for himself.
“Now the gym sweat is off,” Toni laughed.
“It is,” Baxter said as he put the showerhead back onto the hook.
“What do you want to do now?
“What do you think?” Baxter said. “Let’s go lie down.”
Toni pulled on his hard cock, and they stepped out of the tub. He turned to face her, handing her a large plush towel. While she dried herself, he found some condoms in the cupboard.
They went into the bedroom and lay down. Baxter stroked her hair, softly kissing her. She ran her hands along Baxter’s large biceps. The man was a total contrast to Sid. This body was large, tall, broad, so masculine that she could come just by being in his presence.
Baxter wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck. She kissed him, and they let their hands wander along each other for a while.
He reached over for the condoms and unwrapped on. After he had put it on, he lay on top of Toni. She was a bit startled by the lack of foreplay, but soon her
pussy moistened as Baxter’s big, hard cock slowly pumped in and out of her. He got up on his elbows, and Toni almost had a sense of him continuing his gym workout as he pumped into her. She hooked her legs around him, and pushed her hands against the mattress to press herself up into him.
His thrusts grew more urgent, and Toni knew he was going to come soon. She thought about orgies and of many hands stroking her and tasting her. She grew more excited at the thought of it, and soon her pussy quivered with expectation. Baxter’s increasing rhythm excited her, and his breath in her ear spurred her on to whisper in his.
“Fuck me, Baxter. Come on. Fuck me hard and fast.”
He did as she told him, and Toni grabbed her ankles and pressed herself into him. He grabbed her hips, pumping into her furiously. Toni watched his face, his handsome face, red with earnestness. She looked down at where his cock was slamming into her, and the sight of his enormity parting her flesh made her tremble with orgasm.
She came with a cry, and as her pussy clenched around Baxter’s cock, he came as well. He thrust into her one last time and held it, and Toni could feel him pulsing inside of her. He shuddered as he finished and rolled off her.
She gasped, staring at the ceiling.
Her pussy trembled, and a wave of relief flooded through her. Baxter caught his breath and looked over at her.
“Was that a nice good morning for you?” he asked.
“Magnificent,” Toni said.
“Good. Then we can both start our day.”
Toni took the hint and got dressed. They kissed at the door, and she went out into the street.
Without Sid, she was going to have to go back to the same old lifestyle of quick, nameless fucks.
The bittersweet price of pleasure.
It never seemed to work in her favor.
Chapter Thirteen
When you wish…
Toni walked along the boardwalk. She had been out for a long time, taking in the cool night air. As she was ready to call it a night, she heard footsteps behind her. Turning around, she saw Sid.
Aries: Swinging into Spring Page 13
