Marcus glanced to Summer for support. “He has to come up with his own intention, doesn’t he? It’s only fair.”
Summer frowned thoughtfully and made a quick decision. “Cooper? Maybe you have an additional intention...?”
Shooting Marcus a look that plainly said he would kill him later, Cooper regrouped. “My intention is to make the most of the opportunities that present themselves to me here in Jackson Hole.” He hit Marcus with a sidelong glower. “Happy?”
Marcus thought it over and decided he couldn’t find fault with this new intention. “Yeah.”
“Excellent!” Summer continued around the circle. “Claudia?”
Claudia sat up straighter, looking startled that her turn had come so quickly. “Me? But I’m so delightfully perfect already, as I’m sure you’ll all agree! What could I possibly have to improve upon?”
Everyone laughed, but Marcus could see the fleeting shadows as they crossed Claudia’s eyes, and she was doing that nervous hair thing again—ruffling it when she probably meant to smooth it. He considered it a sign of how well he was getting to know her that he could see how badly she wanted to avoid looking inward. He wondered, again, who had damaged her so badly.
“And your real answer is...?” Summer pressed as the laughter died off.
“Oh, well, you know.” Claudia ducked her head and focused on stroking the cat’s tail. “I could probably try to, you know, not be so hard on myself all the time.”
“How do you mean?” Marcus asked softly, forgetting that he wasn’t the moderator here and that he thought the whole exercise was a waste of time. “How are you hard on yourself?”
“Oh, well, you know...I suppose I’m my own worst critic. Why didn’t I try harder or work harder—that sort of thing. Why didn’t I think of doing this or that to make more money or be a better friend or daughter or sister. Why aren’t I active enough in charities? Why is everyone else better at things than I am? That sort of thing. It’s the sound track that plays in my head all the time. Hazard of being the oldest child and a female, I suppose. And that’s probably way more than you wanted to hear about me, isn’t it?”
“Nope,” Marcus and Judah said at the same time.
“You’re very gracious,” Claudia said, ducking her head in a self-deprecating smile. “So, anyway, my intention is to, I don’t know, learn to be kinder to myself. How’s that?”
Judah frowned thoughtfully. “It’s about forgiveness, isn’t it? It always comes back to forgiveness. Forgiving yourself for things you do or didn’t do or can’t do. Forgiving others for the ways they hurt you.” He shook his head, staring off at the mountains’ looming shadows, then overhead at the stars. Finally, he rubbed his jaw. “I don’t know about you folks, but I think the self-forgiveness thing is a real bitch. I don’t think I’ve ever managed it.”
Marcus dropped his gaze away from Judah, wanting to give the man a moment. They seemed to be getting into highly personal territory here, and while he was fine with hearing about Claudia’s issues, he didn’t want to delve into Judah’s. Next thing he knew, dude would probably be rhapsodizing about all the people’s hearts—women and men—he’d broken over the years.
“And what’s your intention for the night, Judah?” Summer prompted gently.
Judah’s lips twisted with derision. “At the end of the night, I don’t want to hate myself any worse than I do now.”
A ringing silence followed this announcement, broken only by the rumbling snore of the pig and the background chirp of thousands of crickets.
“Well,” Summer said, “I think we should move on to our blocks.”
“Blocks?” There was a distinctly wary tone in Cooper’s voice now, and he had an antsy look about him, as though he planned to bolt back down the hill, screaming, at the first opportunity. “What’re blocks, exactly?”
“Blocks are the things that prevent us from manifesting our intentions.” Summer counted on her fingers. “Some examples of blocks include procrastination, anxiety, addiction—”
“Addiction,” Judah echoed. “I’ve got that one covered for all of us. I’m a self-destructive SOB, in case y’all had any questions about it. I don’t think I deserve the success I’ve had. I’m unworthy. Un-wor-thy. There. That’s a sentence that took me thousands of dollars and years of therapy to unearth. UN-WOR-THY.”
“Well, you know what they say...the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have a problem, right?” asked Claudia.
“Ah, that’s bullshit,” Judah said, waving a hand. “The first step to solving a problem is staying in bed in the morning, where it’s safe. Avoid all the problems. Well, unless you’ve got a woman or two in bed with you, which was often the case with me.”
“Lucky bastard,” Cooper muttered in Marcus’s ear.
Claudia noticed the interchange between brothers, caught Marcus’s eye and, ducking her head, tried to stifle a snicker.
Summer cleared her throat uncomfortably.
“So, anyway,” Judah said cheerfully, “I want to hear about you, Claudia. What’re your blocks?”
This time Claudia had a ready answer. “Well, as far as my career goes, I’ve always been a bit—”
“No one cares about that career crap. We’re peeling back the layers here, darling,” Judah told her. “I want to see the onion underneath, not the skin you wear to keep your layers hidden. Where’s your soul at, Claudia? What’s blocking you from personal happiness?”
Claudia bristled. “Who says I’m blocked?”
Judah gave her a crooked smile full of understanding. “Don’t kid a kidder, honey. A thirtysomething-year-old woman with no kids who’s never been married and lives alone, all focused on her career, like, is blocked. In fact, I’d go so far as to say you’re constipated.”
Even in the firelight, Marcus could see Claudia’s face turning purple, and there was no missing the choked sound of outrage she made. “I beg your pardon, Judah, but I hardly think that this is appropriate for a business meeting about whether my auction house can handle your bloody auction—”
“That so?” Judah selected a graham cracker and munched thoughtfully on it. “If you don’t want to play nice, maybe I need to go ahead and give my bloody auction to these fine gentlemen.” He pointed to Marcus and Cooper. “I’m sure they’re happy to peel back a few layers.”
Marcus, who would not, in fact, be happy to pull back anything, especially any information about the sad state of his personal life, which included the occasional hookup with the occasional woman whose body would satisfy his needs and whose face he would likely forget come morning, worked hard on not grimacing. Next to him, though, Cooper made a throaty sound that was clearly a grimace.
“Fine, then.” Claudia stood, displacing the cat, and brushed off her jeans. “Give the auction to them. And thanks so much for the opportunity, Mr. Cross. I wish I could say it’s been a pleasure—”
“You’re quite the pistol, aren’t you?” Judah asked, his face lit with amusement.
“—but that would be a bald-faced lie. Well, except for the chance to see your beautiful ranch. That was a pleasure.”
Judah laughed.
“I think we need to refocus our intentions.” Summer wrung her hands. “This isn’t the kind of energy I’d hoped to—”
“And now if you’d be so good as to escort me off the mountain,” Claudia cut in, “I’d be grateful. I don’t fancy falling into a ravine and being devoured by wolves—”
Marcus, seeing the opportunity to kill several birds with one stone, scooted to the edge of his seat. “I’ll walk you down—”
“Yeah, I’d better come, too,” Cooper added, doing a remarkably poor job of trying to look disappointed that he’d have to leave. “Marcus isn’t exactly known for his survival skills. If I don’t go, we’ll have two frozen bodies in the morning rather
than just Claudia’s—”
“Nobody’s walking off the mountain.” Judah divided his glare among them. “The three of you need to sit your asses right back down—”
Marcus and Cooper hesitated, glancing at each other.
Claudia crossed her arms over her chest and glared down at Judah. “My arse is leaving this ridiculous bonfire of yours—”
“You might want to tone down that hot temper of yours, darling—” Judah began.
“Don’t call me darling!”
“—because my understanding is that your little career is about to take off at your new auction house, and I would love nothing better than to give you a little financial boost on your way to the big leagues. Like a fairy godfather.” He paused. “A fairy godfather with a checkered past and too much jewelry, but any fairy godfather is better than nothing.” He shrugged. “Anyway, it’s up to you.”
Claudia hesitated, seething, and focused all her frustrated energy on Judah, whose expression was a placid study in innocence. Marcus knew her pride was in a death match against her equally strong desire to succeed. Finally, grumbling, she plopped back down and hitched up her chin, hanging on to all the dignity she could.
The cat promptly jumped back onto her lap and butted his head against her hand.
“If you must know,” she said, picking up where she’d left off with the cat’s full-body massage, “I’ve had rather poor luck when it comes to men, so I find it best to just...avoid them entirely.”
Judah snorted out a laugh. “Avoid men? And how’s that going? I’m assuming you don’t switch-hit.”
Claudia gritted her teeth. “It does present the occasional...challenges, yes.”
Marcus waited, his heart in his throat and his entire being alert for a clue, any sort of sign.
Claudia’s turbulent gaze flickered to him and skittered away so quickly he would have missed it if he hadn’t been looking.
His soul soared. Yes, his soul. Wouldn’t Judah be thrilled to hear that he was tuning into his soul’s activities?
“Hmm.” Judah steepled his fingers and pressed their tips to his lips. “And why have you had poor luck with men?”
“I seem to choose the wrong ones,” Claudia said gloomily.
“And why is that?” Judah pressed.
“No idea.” Claudia glowered at him. “Perhaps now is the time to move on to other people’s blocks. I’m sure Marcus would like to—”
Marcus stiffened, waiting for the ax to fall right on his head.
“You have an idea,” Judah prodded gently. “When women have problems with men, it’s usually because of the male figures in their lives.”
“What male figure?” Claudia snapped. “You’re assuming I had one, aren’t you?”
There was a long pause, probably because no one knew what to say to this abrupt revelation.
“So your father wasn’t there for you?” Judah asked quietly.
Claudia gave him a hard stare. “No. He wasn’t. I never knew him. At all. Because he didn’t see fit to stick around and help Mum raise my brother and me. Probably because he didn’t think we were worthy of his attention. And that’s my worst shame, so you can consider all my layers pulled back, Judah.” She held her arms wide. “Meet the onion. How do you do?”
Judah studied her for a moment, his face unreadable. “I don’t think it’s your shame, Claudia. I think it’s your father’s. Sounds like he wasn’t worthy of you. He wasn’t the kind of man you’d want in your life.”
Claudia laughed bitterly. “Maybe, but I’ll never know, now, will I? And there are certainly moments when I think any man would’ve been better than the big fat nothing my brother and I got.”
“Do you think you could ever forgive your father?” Judah asked.
Claudia’s face twisted into something dangerously close to a snarl. Even worse, as far as Marcus was concerned, was the shimmer of tears in her eyes. He’d already seen her tears once before, and they’d nearly ripped him apart. He was quite sure he couldn’t handle them again anytime soon.
“That’s a moot question, isn’t it?” Claudia snapped. “The bastard would have to show up and ask for forgiveness first, wouldn’t he? For all I know, he’s dead, and perhaps that’s just as well.”
Judah stilled. “You don’t mean that.”
Claudia hung her head and swiped at her eye.
With that, Marcus reached his limit. “Judah, I think Claudia’s had enough, don’t you?”
“We’ve all had enough,” Cooper added.
“It’s fine,” Claudia said, raising her head. But the slight quaver in her voice was a dead giveaway that it was anything but. “I’m fine. I don’t know what I’d do or say if I ever met my father, Judah, but, again—it’s all hypothetical. Why not ask me what I’d do if a yeti ambled out of your forest here? What would I do then? Who the hell knows?”
“But—” Judah persisted.
“Judah.” Marcus raised his voice. “Drop it. Now.”
That seemed to get the dude’s attention. Turning away from Claudia, he studied Marcus, head cocked.
“You care about Claudia, don’t you, friend?” Judah asked.
Marcus opened his mouth and the words came out strong and sure, with a complete lack of shame or reservations considering he had, after all, just met Claudia.
Whatever there was between him and Claudia, it just was. End of story. No analysis needed.
“Yeah,” Marcus said, on high alert lest he need to vault across the circle and shove his fist down Judah’s throat to get him to stop badgering Claudia. “I do.”
His gaze darted to Claudia, who was watching him, openmouthed, with unshed tears glittering like black diamonds in her beautiful eyes. And then, to his complete astonishment, her lips turned up in the tiniest smile of gratitude, making him feel a thousand feet tall and ready to fight this battle and any other for her. Whatever she needed, he planned to be there.
He returned his attention to Judah, glaring. “So, we’re done with Claudia, right?”
Judah stared at him for several beats, blinked and flashed a shrewd grin as though they were the only two insiders coming together to engineer a killing in the stock market.
“Right. Well, except for this, because I’m betting that one of your blocks is Miss Claudia’s resistance to men. So let’s see if I can be your fairy godfather, too.”
Judah made a show of thinking hard, tapping his index finger against his lips and staring up at the sky. “Let’s see...let’s see...yes.” He snapped his fingers. “This is what I’m going to do. I’m going to split up my auction and give Claudia the rare books and sheet music and you Davies folks the rest of it—”
“What?” Claudia cried, jaw dropping.
Judah raised an index finger for silence. “With the teeny tiny proviso that you and Marcus, Claudia, need to work closely to pull the whole thing together. That’s the catch, all right? You two need to be like this.” He crossed his fingers. “If you can’t handle that, Claudia, then speak now or forever hold your peace.”
Claudia faltered, then made up her mind. “I can handle it,” she said, looking to Marcus and raising her brows.
Is this a joke? Marcus wondered wildly. If she knew how the idea of working with her made his heart pound inside his chest, she wouldn’t be looking at him with that raw vulnerability in her eyes.
“You know I’m in,” he told her quietly. “You don’t have to ask.”
Another tiny smile was his reward.
Beside him, Cooper huffed out a relieved sigh and started to get up. “Great! Glad that’s settled. Now, if you don’t mind, Judah, I’ll just be on my way—”
Judah turned to Cooper and clapped his hands. “Cooper! Sit your awesome ass down, man! I ain’t done with you yet!”
“Ah, shit.” Cooper slu
mped back in his seat, looking sour.
“What about you, man? What’s blocking you?”
“From going to bed? Your bonfire test.” Cooper’s brows and lips flatlined into a frustrated glower. “Am I a man now, or what? Are you going to make us drink hemp or something, until we see hallucinations about our futures? Go on a bear or bison hunt? Where’s this heading, man?”
“Don’t get your panties out of joint, man,” Judah said, laughing. “We’re all friends here.”
“A friend would give you some lube before the proctology exam,” Cooper said darkly.
Another laugh from Judah. “You’re awfully defensive, my brother. What’re you trying to hide?”
“You want to know what I’m hiding, man?” Cooper rested his elbows on his knees and leaned forward in an aggressive posture. “If I spill, do we get to go to bed and forget any of this ever happened? Never to be mentioned again under any circumstances?”
“Absolutely,” answered Judah.
“Great.” Cooper took a harsh breath. “What are my intentions? One day soon, I want to go out there and get my woman, because I’ve been a real gentleman and waited a long time for her. What’s blocking me? She’s dealing with a fair amount of emotional bullshit, and I don’t think she’s quite ready for a serious relationship yet. And with her? I’m all about the serious. So if you have some incense you want to wave over me, or a blessing you want to give me or a brand or a tattoo, or, hell, a voodoo doll with some pins you can stick in it, now would be the time. Hit me.”
There was a long pause.
Marcus, for one, was glad they’d agreed on a vow of absolute silence, because he’d had no idea his brother’s feelings for this woman ran so deep, and he had no idea what he’d say to him about the topic if allowed.
Judah watched Cooper, letting the information settle for another beat or two. Cooper glared back, defiant.
Finally, Judah reached for one of the pendants dangling from his neck, swept it off over his head and walked over to Cooper. Cooper bowed his head, and Judah slipped it on him.
Sinful Attraction Page 10
