“You’re a fighter. The stuff you’re capable of, Cole, what you’ve accomplished. I could only dream of that.”
“You’ve got time, Payton. It’s taken me a while to get here, and I’m nowhere near where I used to be.” He wiped his face and took a sip of wine. “But I will be someday.”
“I don’t think I will. I can’t stop looking around, thinking they’ll appear. If not today, then tomorrow, or the next day. I’m not the same person that I was when this happened, literally, and I don’t think I’ll ever be again.” Payton abandoned the small sips to her drink and drank half the glass.
“That’s what’s happened to me. The exercise helps, though. Keeps your body healthy and your mind quiet.”
“But I’m still afraid, Cole.”
He leaned into her again. God, it was too much of a risk. But she wanted to, so badly that she’d regret it more if she didn’t try. The face of the woman with the emerald eyes swam in her mind. Regardless of Cole’s belief that everything bad was over for her, too, she knew he was wrong. She could sense it every time she’d locked eyes with the woman at the juice bar.
“I know you are,” he leaned in and kissed her softly on the cheek, his lips brushing over her skin so slightly Payton almost thought she’d imagined it. But the rush of heat that followed made the decision for her.
“I don’t want be alone tonight. Can you come over?” The words flowed from her lips too easily, like she was making a terrible mistake.
“I’d like that.” Cole pulled a few bills out of his wallet and left them on the table. He took her hand and pulled her to her feet, but rather than letting go once she was standing, he continued to hold her hand as they walked out the door side by side. The contact centered her. Payton didn’t know why, but already when Cole’s skin was touching hers, she felt happier, even safe.
It had been so long since somebody had touched Payton like that—gently, sweetly. Even before the attack. After all she’d been through, it felt a little foreign, but also exciting. It was also dangerous, and Payton couldn’t forget that. Was the woman with the green eyes part of the gang who had kidnapped her, or was she connected in some other way? Payton had no idea, but she kept her eyes and ears at attention as they walked past closed shops and through empty streets. Did Cole notice the way her eyes were darting back and forth? She tried to act casually, hide that she was walking wide around every doorway and every shadow, but he must have noticed something. After she’d crossed the street for the third time to avoid walking past the mouth of an alleyway, he stopped where he stood and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close—her back to his front. He whispered in her ear, standing so close she could feel his breath tickling the back of her neck.
“I want to go to the beach.”
Keeping an arm around her, he tugged her gently down to the end of the street and down a path that led directly to the sand. A rising tide was already past the water line and waves were lapping on the shore near her feet. She visited this beach every morning, running along the water line, the soles of her shoes slapping on the wet sand. But in the dark, with the sound of the water churning wildly, it seemed like an entirely different place.
“Why do humans love to be near the water so much? We build houses near it, spend our best days on the beach. But the water isn’t our friend.” She shivered. “When it’s dark like this, and cold, it could easily drag you under.”
Cole sat down on the sand and pulled her in front of him again, placing her between his legs and tugging her back to lie against his chest. Payton kept talking. “Some days I almost expect the waves to just go wild, to destroy everything. But other days it brings me such peace.”
“Me, too. I don’t try to understand it. Maybe it’s an instinctual thing.”
“But what is an instinct, really? We use the word all the time to make excuses for what we can’t control.”
Cole leaned forward and brushed his lips along her shoulder and Payton shivered again, this time for an entirely different reason. His lips continued, trailing up her neck, before he spoke.
“It’s when an urge takes hold of you,”—he dropped a kiss on her cheek—“one you can’t possibly resist, one you can’t let go of.” Arms wrapped strongly around her from behind and Cole touched her head lightly to turn her toward him. Payton leaned into his chest and his lips brushed softly over hers.
“Can’t resist, huh?”
“Not on your life.”
He suddenly grasped at her waist, turning her and lifting her up to straddle him. His lips returned to hers, pressing harder. They were insistent, hungry, and his fingers pressed into her hips, holding her in place.
Cole’s kisses ignited a fire deep inside her. After all the pain, the fear stalking her at every turn, his touch was like rain in the desert. Payton jerked as his fingers left her hips and started exploring her curves, tracing over her belly, then upward until his hand cupped her breast. He growled lightly in her mouth as his thumb brushed over her nipple.
Payton let her own hands explore, running them over his firm chest and feeling the well defined bumps of his abdomen, before stopping just above his belt. His hand squeezed her breast and Payton let out a moan.
“Not here.”
“Now. I need you right now.”
She leaned back, just until she met his eyes. Cole’s gaze was hooded, his eyes full of lust and desire.
“I don’t live far. Besides, these are the only nice clothes I have. I don’t want to get them all sandy.”
He grinned. “I’m just going to tear them off, anyway.”
Cole rocked himself forward and Payton felt his hard length push against her thigh. A rush of heat flew through her and she nearly pulled his shirt over his head and threw him to the sand.
But it was dark, so dark that she couldn’t see more than a few feet in front her. She didn’t know who was out there on the beach that night—a cop, the woman with the green eyes? Maybe worse. No, she wasn’t going to give in to the monsters. Not after what Cole had shared with her. If he could be that strong, then so could she. She just wasn’t going to start with sex on the beach in full view of whoever was still stalking her.
Small steps. Starting with letting this beautiful man love her.
“Come on, it’s not far.”
Cole stood and helped her up, then let his arm fall over her shoulders, pulling her in so that her head was resting on his shoulder. The contact was soothing, comforting not only to her body but also her mind.
As good as it felt to let someone in, to feel his skin against hers, was she making a mistake? She’d made precious few friends since she’d arrived in San Diego. Lainey always cheered her up, and she supposed she could call Aaron and the guys in the class friends. But Cole? He was something else.
When she was with him, some of her ever-present anxiety melted away. She’d always guarded her heart closely, but it was more important than ever now. She’d long ago lost the sentimental idealism of youth—if she’d ever had it to begin with—but still, there was something there. Her skin heated at every touch and even as they strolled back to her apartment, Cole never stopped touching her, kissing her cheek and the back of her hand while his hand ran up and down the length of her arm. Would it be so bad to let him through her shield, just for one night? She could always erase any memory of herself if things truly went to shit.
Decision made, she smiled. It was nice to just stop analyzing everything and just let someone in. The wind had blown a lock of hair across her face and he tucked it back behind her ear before taking her hand and crossing the street toward her apartment. Almost at the front door, Payton stopped looking for monsters in the shadows and instead closed her eyes briefly, basking in the anticipation of what was coming. The moon was glowing and she was in the arms of the sexiest guy she’d ever seen. She pictured his hard body lying naked over hers and her skin erupted in goosebumps.
“You are so gorgeous,” he whispered when they reached her front door.
�
�Yeah?” She leaned back against it, tugging his face to hers.
“Yeah.” He leaned down and took her mouth again, pushing her back against the door, his tongue snaking into her mouth and twirling with hers. Payton moaned but then pulled back before she lost herself entirely on her front doorstep. Fumbling with her key, she got the door unlocked. Before she could open it, Cole twisted the doorknob, grabbing her before she could fall forward. He walked them inside, shut the door, and pressed her back against the wall.
“You’re playing dirty.” She reached down and stroked her hand against his firm shaft and his teeth bit softly into her neck. His lips, hot and wet, took her mouth hard, fueled by the fire that was racing through her, too. His hands traced along the sides of her back, then grabbed her ass and squeezed, pulling her flush against his erection. She could feel the outline of every hard muscle as his tongue darted in and out of her mouth, mimicking what Payton wanted him to do with the rest of his body. She grabbed his shoulders, pulling him into her further and all inhibitions fell away. She could feel nothing but heat and need.
Payton moaned again and lifted her leg up to wrap it around his waist, pressing her core against his erection. Cole responded by pushing up her shirt, lifting it over her head. Cold air rushed over her skin, only to be replaced by the warmth of his hand caressing her. He curved around her, his body sheltering her, giving her the warmth she craved. His head dipped down, a mischievous look in his eye, and then he suddenly tongued her nipple through her bra. Payton’s back arched, rubbing her core against him, and Cole let out a fierce growl. His teeth grazed her sensitive skin and Payton reached down, frantically trying to unbuckle his belt.
Cole pulled away for just a moment to unbuckle his pants, letting them fall to his ankles. He kicked his shoes off, then his pants, and stood before her in just his boxer briefs and shirt. Payton’s tongue darted out to lick her lips and she caught sight of the sizable bulge pushing against the fabric of his boxers.
“Oh!”
His roaming fingers found her breasts again as his cock pressed against her inner thigh. Fire pulsed through her again and a small flutter began in her core. Payton’s head fell back against the wall with a soft thump as his mouth returned to its ministrations. First one breast, then the other. He pulled the soft cups of her bra down, exposing her, and then his hand slipped behind her and unhooked her bra, stepping back to see it fall.
“Beautiful.”
Having already poured out her heart to this man earlier that night, she was now giving up her final secrets, leaving herself exposed and vulnerable, but she felt nothing but safe in his arms. Cole quickly unbuttoned his shirt, stripped it off, and dropped it on the floor. His hand dipped down and fished in his pants pocket for a small foil package before he stood and pulled his cock from his boxers, a cheeky grin on his face. He sheathed himself before kicking his briefs down his legs and onto the floor, then he pulled her close. His lips danced across her skin, kissing her mouth, her neck, and down to her breasts again as she felt his large cock pressing insistently at her opening. Payton rocked forward, trying to push him inside, but his cock was quickly replaced with fingers, brushing against her sensitive flesh until they found the spot that made her cry out. Wounds that were still raw inside her from all that she’d been through were healed with his touch as he continued to rain warm kisses over her body.
There was no way they were going to make it to the bed.
Cole wrapped an arm around her waist and lowered her gently to the floor, pressing down over her. She could almost feel sand beneath her, and the crash of waves echoed in her head as Cole dipped a finger inside of her before his head dipped down and he sucked her clit into his mouth. Payton cried out as fresh waves of pleasure crashed over her head and she came against his mouth. She cried out, begging to feel his cock inside her and Cole reared up, kissing her mouth hard as he pushed his way inside, her muscles still quivering in ecstasy.
She cried out at the sensation of finally being filled, his cock stroking along her inner walls and reigniting her fading orgasm, causing a burst of pleasure so intense she could barely contain it.
“Ah!”
Cole pushed deep before pulling out to the point that only the tip of him was inside her, before slamming back in, grinding his hips and sparking bliss against her clit. An almost heavenly symphony of deep grunts and soft moans accompanied his fast thrusts as he moved within her, over and over again. His touch obliterated everything but his body on top of hers, sliding, moving with her as pleasure built deep inside. Cole braced himself above her with one hand while the other gripped her hip hard, holding her to him as he thrust. His always messy hair fell forward, falling over his eyes as his forehead dotted with sweat.
Then time stopped and pleasure burst from deep within her, drenching her in a wave of passion so exquisite that Payton shuddered. It engulfed her, drowning her in ecstasy as she felt Cole thrust once, twice more, before holding himself tight against her as his cock hardened further before pulsing inside her. As the waves of bliss faded away and the world returned, Cole’s mouth met hers and he kissed her again as his body collapsed down on the floor.
11
A beam of light fell across Payton’s face and she opened her eyes. A hard body lay behind her and as she shifted, Cole’s arm fell across her waist as he nuzzled into her neck. He was still asleep, thank God. Last night, Cole had come back to her apartment and she’d abandoned all caution at the worst possible time to make mistakes.
Oh, God. She’d told him everything.
How could she have been so stupid?! She’d even told him about the people that were after her—identifying details—and where she was from. He was a cop; what if he tried to look into her past? Anyone could get to him, and then find her, instantly.
She rolled over to face him. He slept soundly, his hair sticking straight up and a hand still draped over her. He’d been so gentle, so loving, and he’d understood what she was going through in a way someone who hadn’t experienced their own nightmare ever could. She didn’t want to give this up. Hell, she didn’t want to give him up. But he was a liability, no matter what.
At least she could hold on to the memory, even if she had to erase it from his mind.
She lay back and lifted his arm from her body. Cole murmured and rolled over, but he didn’t wake. Payton missed his warmth immediately. He was only inches away from her on the bed, but there may as well have been the entire earth between them. This was it. She had no other choice. Life was a cruel bitch sometimes.
She sat up in bed, moving away from Cole a little bit more. It was too hard to focus lying there next to him, even when he was no longer touching her skin to skin. She closed her eyes and allowed the light within her to rise up. She felt it strengthen, stretching at her mind, before escaping to shimmer along the edges of her body. Shit, could she do this? She could still feel Cole inside her, for fuck’s sake. They’d cried together, told each other their deepest secrets, and what—now she was going to take that all away? Payton took in a deep, shuddering breath. Fuck fate. If he could fight his demons and survive—for more than a year—then so could she. Neither of them had to go it alone anymore.
She opened her eyes, watching in amazement as her skin shimmered ever so slightly in the early morning light. She glanced over at Cole. He was still sleeping, but not so soundly anymore. His forehead was creased and one hand curled up as she watched. They’d shared too much the night before to take that away from him, but could she take something else? Could she take away his pain?
Cole’s head moved from side to side and a low whimper escaped his mouth. What thoughts were torturing him in his sleep? The energy rose up inside her again. He needed her as much as she needed him, and she wasn’t going to deny him comfort if she could help. Maybe if she could see his demons, she could help him fight them down. Before she could stop herself again, the light swept out of her body and draped over Cole. The vision slammed into Payton’s head and overtook her.
The cr
eature’s eyes were red and bloodshot, and his entire face had become a demented canvas. His skin was tattooed with a mess of images, all failing to cover up the tiny craters that had been carved into his skin from drug use and its hallucinogenic side effects. They were impossible to hide.
“You want off this shit?” Cole’s former self, sex on a stick in the best shape Payton had seem him in, took form. He was standing in front of the tattooed demon in a blank, intangible space.
“I need a hit, man,” it hissed.
“It’ll kill you one day, if someone doesn’t put out a hit on you first. You know I’m telling the truth. You need help, and you have something that I want. That means I care if you’ll cut your dick off if it meant you’d get another high.”
The scene changed abruptly. Cole was sitting with his partner—an older man with a kind face—in a car waiting outside an old warehouse.
“Do you think they’re going to try anything?”
“Who knows, Cole. We never do. Backup is on the way. We’ve just gotta go in there and hope for the best.” They stepped out of the car and a feeling of desperation ran through her, its intensity nearly throwing Payton off balance. Cole stood to the right of the door, his partner to the left.
“SDPD!” Cole’s voice was a roar, but there was no response. “SDPD! Open up!” Still nothing. He made eye contact with his partner and placed his hand on his weapon.
Cole sighed, so quietly Payton nearly missed it. “Fuck it,” he whispered under his breath. He and his partner breached the premises and stormed through the door. Inside was a dark room, empty except for a Santos statue in the shape of a skeleton. The statue was large and covered in blood. As Cole approached it, he heard a quiet click behind him, felt a sharp sting and then red-hot pain washed over him. Payton could feel it, too, as Cole dropped to the floor. It rolled through every muscle like seething fire, eating away at her very being. Just as the fire receded, there was another sharp prick at Cole’s neck and then the world disappeared.
Payton (Dreamcatchers Romantic Suspense Series Book 3) Page 8
