by Amelia Grace
Emerging from the bathroom in a light summery cotton sleeveless dress, Cate caught me in deep contemplation by the window. She walked over to me and placed her hand on my shoulder, brought her lips to my neck and lightly kissed me.
‘I’ll see you downstairs Ben,’ she said.
As she turned to leave the room, I caught her by the hand and pulled her back to me, my face serious, brooding. I kissed her deeply and emotionally. I left her breathless.
‘I’ll see you downstairs very soon,’ I said quietly.
I didn’t want to leave Nic alone with my wife. He was in an irrational state of mind at the moment, and I didn’t trust him in his desperation to hold on to Cate.
I changed quickly and followed Cate out the bedroom door soon after she left. I managed to see her as she was at the bottom of the wooden staircase, her facial expression showing a mind that was burdened, guilty even. I assumed of how their relationship had ended abruptly and devastatingly the night before.
He stood there too, at the bottom of the stairs, watching every step that Cate took as she came closer to him. His eyes were full of pain. I knew that he would never stop loving her. At least, that is how he felt now, if he loved Cate as much as I loved her, I knew that he would never stop loving her, and it worried me.
As Cate came to the last step, he held out his hand for her to take. She took it.
Nic stood calmly, connecting his eyes with Cate’s. Then he led her through the sitting room to the kitchen and beyond the french doors into the back garden. Cate held onto his hand, her head bowed.
She still loved him. And I didn’t trust him.
I followed them from a distance, unknown to them, and watched as Nic stopped under the ornate french gazebo, and turned to face Cate, his eyes focused on the ground. Slowly, he closed his eyes, and then opened them again, looking into Cate’s eyes. Cate gently touched his chest, and then ran her hands around him to hold him close to her. I know that she wanted to comfort him. I know that she would want to take away the pain that he felt from her choosing me over him. But did she have to touch him like that?
Nic wrapped his arms around her.
‘I never want to let go of you Cate’ I heard him say in low tones.
I stood at the french doors and watched every move that Nic made. I saw how Nic held my Cate in his arms, and I was not happy. I fought the urge to go out to Nic and attack him physically, but, I knew that they needed this time to say a proper goodbye to each other after last night’s unexpected twist in their lives.
Then I watched on helplessly, as Nic placed his hands on either side of Cate’s face, and slowly brought his lips to hers, kissing her deeply. And I watched on helplessly as Cate did not pull away.
I placed my hand over my heart as I felt a sudden jab of pain at the sight of Nic and Cate together. I closed my eyes. I did not want to see anymore. I could not bear to see anymore.
My beautiful, beautiful Cate….
But Cate had married me. I told myself. She had chosen me over Nic. I must remember that. And I will have her in a way that Nic will never have her. I must remember that.
I went to the kitchen, still keeping my eyes on them and decided to make lunch. I wanted Nic to stay a little longer. I wanted to get to know this other man that Cate had fallen in love with. It was far better to make friends with the enemy, and keep Cate, than to fight the enemy and lose Cate, I decided.
Jealousy raged inside of me as I watched Nic touch Cate over and over, and as I saw that Cate never pulled away from him.
But, Cate had married me. She had chosen me over Nic. I must remember that.
Before taking the platter of food to the outdoor setting under the french gazebo, I closed my eyes, composing myself and finding my inner strength. Then I walked outside with the food peace offering.
‘Nic, please stay and have lunch with us. I want to get to know the other man that Cate fell in love with,’ I stated, not mincing my words.
Totally surprised, Nic looked at me, shocked by my words, and then he looked at Cate. He was silent for a short time, but after some encouragement from Cate, he agreed, and sat at the table. He did not look relaxed or happy.
Awkwardly at first, we just sat and ate. I decided to break the silence.
‘Nic, you’ve got the physique of a sportsman, are you?’ I asked politely.
Nic looked at his food, obviously considering his answer, and then he looked me in the eyes.
‘Yes. Cycling is my passion, but I also compete in triathlon events, as an elite athlete Ben,’ answered Nic, nodding once when he had finished answering my question.
‘I have always admired elite athletes for their excellence in having their bodies finely tuned to be of optimum condition. It takes a lot of determination, self-discipline and self-sacrifice to compete as an elite athlete, why do you do it Nic?’ I asked, highly interested in his answer.
Again, Nic looked at his food, considering his answer to my question. I was pleased to see that he thought carefully before he talked. It was a sign of intelligence.
‘Because, I like competition, I like competing, I like winning, I like to be the best. I also like the friendships that are formed, the mateship, the bonds that we make with each other. And, I like to humble myself and lose graciously if I do lose, congratulating the winner with sincerity,’ Nic replied, speaking passionately about his chosen athletic field.
I raised my eyebrows and then smiled. Nic had answered very well indeed, much better than I thought he would. Damn, he was a good man!
I looked over at Cate. She sat very quietly, her eyes on Nic, a sadness on her face.
‘And Ben, what is it that you do, that keeps you away from Cate?’ asked Nic, gaining more confidence with my presence.
‘I am an Earth Engineer and heavily involved in Earth conservation and restoration Nic,’ I answered, not wanting to give him any more details than that.
‘Fascinating, it sounds like having the weight of the world on your shoulders,’ commented Nic, looking into my eyes.
‘Sometimes it feels like that Nic,’ I replied honestly, reminiscing about all that I had been through, and had unwillingly put Cate through.
I looked towards Nic, studying the way that he held himself and the aura that he emitted. Unexpectedly, I found myself starting to like him, he had integrity.
‘Nic, thank-you for agreeing to stay a little longer with us, I appreciate it,’ I said. And then I stood to start clearing the table. Nic then proceeded to help me.
‘Nic, you are a guest here, please sit down, ‘ I said.
‘Well technically, Ben, my hand print is scanned into the security, so you are the guest here,’ retorted Nic, and continued to help me.
‘And super-technically boys, I own this house, so you are both guests here. Both of you sit down and I’ll clean up,’ asserted Cate, insisting that we sit.
Nic and I both glanced at each other and decided that it would be wise to follow Cate’s orders. Awkwardly we sat together while Cate cleared the table. I watched Nic watch her every move. It was so obvious that loved her deeply. I wished that he didn’t.
As Cate disappeared into the kitchen, I asked Nic the question that I had been most curious about.
‘Nic, how did you meet Cate?’ I asked, filled with curiosity.
‘Here, at this house, as it was being built. She turned up one day, and the boss asked me to show her around as she wanted check on the progress on the house. I didn’t want to fall in love with her. But her energy was so addictive, and she is beautiful. I tried hard to stay away from her, but in the end, I couldn’t resist her. Man, I am sorry Ben, I know that she is your wife now, but, I still love her deeply, and I don’t know how to stop loving her. But, also know that I hold marriage as sanctity, and I will never violate your marriage vows. I just wish that….I could be you Ben,’ Nic said bearing his soul, pain in his eyes.
I felt great compassion for him, and placed my hand on his shoulder. Nic closed his eyes. I could feel his heart
starting to ache through my touch.
Then he stood up, ‘I must leave now Ben. Thank-you for asking me to stay for lunch, it was …. insightful.’
Nic quickly glanced at me again. Strangely, I found it very difficult to dislike him. I watched as he walked into the kitchen where Cate was. I watched as he wrapped his arms around her, my Cate, and I watched as Nic kissed her longer than he should. But I remained seated under the french gazebo. I knew that I had to give this time to them. It would be better in the long run.
I wanted Nic to go home now. I wanted to be alone with Cate. I didn’t want to share her anymore.
I stood and walked around the gardens at Cate’s house while Nic left. I needed to take my mind off him. Negative thoughts again invaded my mind.
But, she had chosen to marry me. I had to keep reminding myself of that.
Then, as I studied the delicate rose petals, I felt Cate’s presence. Yet, I remained looking at the rose. I closed my eyes, concentrating on feeling her presence close to me, waiting in anticipation for when she would touch me, and I would feel our electrical connection. I breathed in deeply as she lightly touched me on my shoulder, and walked around to face me. My whole body felt alive. She looked into my eyes, and gently traced my jaw line with her fingers.
‘Thank-you Ben,’ she whispered.
‘For what?’ I asked, astounded by her beauty, breathing in her sweet scent.
‘For letting me have some time with Nic, and for not ripping him apart when he kissed me. I know it must have been hard for you to stand back and do nothing,’ she said, caressing the back of my neck.
‘What choice did I have Cate? I could see in his eyes how much he loves you, and I know that he needed to see you again, so that he can start to pull away from you. He can’t have you Cate. You are mine, and I will never give you up, unless….you don’t want me anymore, and then I will step aside. I want you to be happy for always, I love you…. I love you, more than you can know,’ I said emotionally, looking deeply into her eyes.
‘Ben,’ she whispered, and moved her lips to mine, moaning in pleasure. She placed her hands underneath my shirt and ran them upwards to remove it from my body. At the same time, I unbuttoned her dress. We continued kissing each other hungrily until we were naked, in the backyard, surrounded by dark green hedges and pink roses.
Gently, I lowered Cate to the soft green grass, gazing deeply into her eyes, feeling the warmness of her soft skin against mine. She whispered my name again, pulling me closer.
At that moment, the door bell rang, accompanied by the excited knocking on the wooden door. I hesitated and then rolled off Cate onto the lush green grass and placed my hands over my face, frustrated.
Cate sat up trying to catch her breath, before she started to clothe herself again.
‘I love you Cate,’ I said, still with my eyes closed.
‘I love you more Benjamin Adams,’ she said, ‘and you’d better get some clothes on before I let the visitors with the bad timing into the house!’
By the time that Cate had reached the front door, I had clothed myself and made my way to the kitchen and put the kettle on. I was sure that it would be either of our families dropping in on us to say hello. I was certain that it wasn’t Nic, because he would have let himself in with his handprint in the door scanner.
As soon as the door opened, I could hear the excited voices of both families. I walked the short distance to the entry to the kitchen near the grand sitting room, and leaned on the doorway and watched across the rooms as the families kissed and hugged Cate and excitedly chatted on. I smiled to myself, they were such nice people.
And then my mother caught sight of me. ‘Beeeen!’ she yelled, and came running at me, hugging me warmly.
‘Ah mom, thanks – I mean for everything. For making me get up to go to see Cate at the Masquerade Ball. Nic was going to ask her to marry him you know. I could have lost her forever. So….thank-you, you’re the best,’ I said sincerely, ‘and oh, thanks for the clothes for today!’
‘Ben, I’m so glad that it had a happy ending for you. You and Cate belong together.’
Before I knew it, our families had taken over the kitchen, busy making this and that, and animatedly talking about this and that. We all sat down and shared a grand afternoon tea. But I was unable to be near Cate. I exchanged glances often with her, some teasing, some longing, some seductive. I was eager for all of the visitors to leave. I desperately wanted to be alone with my wife.
And, finally the visitors left.
‘Cate, I’m taking you away for a holiday – no visitors – just us. Let’s leave now,’ I suggested with hope in my voice.
‘We could leave now if you want, but, I wish to spend tonight with you here in our house, in our bed, if you don’t mind that is…’ she said running her hands lightly over my chest and shoulders.
I kissed her gently. ‘Your wish is my command,’ I replied.
Then she took my hand and led me up the stairs to her bedroom, now to become our bedroom. I was more than pleased.
Chapter 3
Frustration
Heavy rain was beating against the large glass windows of the bedroom as I awoke next to my beautiful wife. But she was already awake, dreamily gazing at me. She smiled as my eyes met hers.
‘Ben,’ she whispered, lightly touching the side of my face, drawing me into her.
‘I still can’t believe that you are here with me. It all seems so surreal. Sometimes I feel as if I am in the most amazing, beautiful dream. I never want it to end Ben.’
I closed my eyes and smiled, ‘I am living the dream Cate….it will never end.’
I moved my lips to hers and kissed her gently, before moving my lips to her bare shoulder, my desire for her strong. It was then that my eyes glanced over at the time, and I discovered how late we had slept.
I sat up abruptly. ‘Cate, we’ve got to move. We need to be at the airport in ninety minutes. I’ll race over to my parent’s house and grab some things while you pack yours,’ I instructed as I started to put some clothes on.
‘NO Ben,’ Cate yelled with worry in her eyes.
I stopped and looked at her, shocked by her panic.
‘Cate?’ I asked, concerned at the sound of her voice, and her expression.
‘No Ben, don’t leave me. I keep thinking that you’ll go, and not come back, and my bubble will burst and I will drown in my sorrow,’ she explained, her voice pained.
I walked over to her. She was sitting on the edge of the bed. I took her hand in mine, and kissed it.
‘I will stay with you. I’m not leaving you Cate – ever. I’m far too selfish for that,’ I said with compassion. I found Cate’s suit case and helped her to pack.
In no time at all, we had packed the bare essentials, planning to buy some new clothing at the Island.
Then she stopped and looked at me.
‘Well, I’m ready to go,’ she said, standing in her blue denim jeans, and sleeveless white cotton fitted shirt. I sat staring at her. My heart beating fast.
‘What?’ Cate asked confused, looking at me with a frown on her beautiful face. ‘Have I missed something?’
I stood up and walked over to her.
‘As a matter of fact you have Kate…..this…..’ I said drawing closer to her.
I put a fingers under her chin, and gently moved my face closer to hers, lightly touching my lips on hers, kissing her slowly.
‘I love you Cate,’ I whispered, and took a small step back from her, noticing a tear fall from the corner of her eye. I tenderly wiped it away with my fingertip, and looked deeply into her eyes, ‘I love you Cate.’
She gently touched my face, and then ran her finger along my jaw line, looking into my eyes in silence. Then she grabbed her stuff and led me out of the bedroom, down the stairs to her car, where we drove the short distance to my parent’s house.
As I quickly packed my gear, Cate lay on my bed watching me, touching me whenever I came near to her, teasing me.
Finally, my attraction to her became overwhelming. I stopped fussing with my packing, seriously walked over to her, and leaned across the bed. She looked deeply into my eyes while I brought my lips to hers. I kissed her slowly, lingering lightly on her lips, before she reached up and pulled my lips firmly to hers. Our kising started to become heated, and I was on a downward spiral losing control of my emotions for her.
‘Ben, sorry to interrupt your packing, but would you and Cate like a quick bite to eat before you leave for the airport?’ disrupted my mother, in the nicest possible way.
I pulled away from Cate, my eyes closed, trying to compose myself.
‘Yeah, sure, that would be nice,’ I answered as calmly as I could. As soon as my mum had left, I leaned over and kissed Cate ever so gently. Then I helped her up off the bed and wrapped my arms firmly around her and held her close. I kissed her lightly on the side of her neck, and breathed in her scent, frustrated.
She pulled away from me and looked into my eyes. I was very emotional, She reached down to my hand, and led me out of the bedroom to the outdoor area, to eat with my family.
‘Ah Mrs Adams, the food looks scrumptious, thank-you,’ Cate said sincerely, giving my mother a quick hug.
‘Thank-you my dear Cate, please sit down and enjoy. I know that you don’t have long to stop here,’ she said. Then she looked up at me. I was quiet, serious.
‘Cate, what have you done to Ben?’ asked Mrs Adams.
Cate looked up at me. I then smiled just a smidgen.
‘I think I have scrambled his brain – not intentionally – I’m sure he will get over it, won’t you Ben!’ Cate said, trying to lighten my mood. I simply nodded and then sat down very closely to her.
‘Ben are you feeling okay? ‘ my mother continued.
I nodded. ‘Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just coming to the realization of how lucky I am that Cate is here with me, that Cate is my wife.’ I looked at Cate as I said this. I loved her so deeply. I wanted to get away and be alone with her, badly.
