by M. Sembera
Hert kissed me again, saying, “I’ll talk to him.”
I felt my stomach turn as I swallowed hard and forced myself to say, “I want him to leave.”
Hert didn’t argue. He just nodded and kissed my cheek. It could have been that Hert was just as tired of Emerson as I was, or worry that if I was unhappy enough I would leave again. Whichever it was, I was relieved he didn’t disagree.
Rubbing my cheek against his shoulder, I whispered, “I love you.”
Hert smiled and repeated, “I love you.”
No sensation was left from Emerson’s touch. Still I knew Em would have to leave. Hert was away far too often to risk a moment of forgetfulness. The odd thing was I didn’t even want Em in that way but I was entirely too familiar with being close to him to take the chance.
The phone rang interrupting Hert and me. After hanging up he sat on the side of the bed next to me.
“I have to go to The Office for a little bit,” he stated.
Instantly disappointed, I pouted, “Uhh, you just got home.”
With a gentle kiss he assured, “I won’t be gone long.”
I followed Hert to the shower and joined him. I smiled watching him get dressed. Hert smiled back when he caught me staring.
He wrapped his arms around me promising, “I will stop at Mrs. Thomas’ and pick up Sophia, then tonight I’m all yours.”
Pleased, I kissed Hert goodbye as he left for The Office.
With Hert out of the house, I assumed there was no time like the present to talk to Em. Slowly I walked to his door and knocked on it. Emerson slowly opened his door and I took a step back. He looked confused. It had been several months since I had stepped foot in his room.
I started by saying, “I need to talk to you.”
He opened his door wide before walking back and sitting down on his bed. As I entered his room, I had the sudden urge to curl up on the bed with him and I knew this was the right decision.
“Em you can’t stay here anymore,” I informed him.
He stood up shouting, “What?!”
Trying my best to stay focused, I explained, “I’m sorry. I really am. You can’t stay here anymore. After what happened today, it would be best if you left.”
“You’re wrong for this Ren. You’re just afraid to admit you…” he shouted at me before I cut him off saying, “I’m not wrong. You are. What ever happened to loyalty? Hert’s your friend.”
Narrowing his eyes, he argued, “Oh, you’re one to talk about loyalty!”
Defending myself I stated, “I am very loyal to my husband.”
Emerson disagreed, saying, “No. You won’t do things because you don’t want to lose Hert and that is not the same as being loyal. It’s always about what you want. You’re only loyal to yourself.”
Refusing to keep this up, I informed him, “I will have your things packed up and sent to you. Now please leave.”
Emerson didn’t say another word. He blew right past me and out his door. I felt sad. Truly there was no other way. I walked over to his bed brushing my hand over the pillow that was once mine. Memories flooded my heart as I left his room. Closing the door behind me, I let go of my friend.
Walking down the stairs, I noticed the time and decided to call Erin. Picking up the phone, I dialed her number.
“Roberts Residence,” she answered.
I responded, “Hi Erin.”
“Hello, Rennillia how are you?” she replied.
Feeling the need to tell her before Emerson did, I stated, “Alright. Erin, I have something to tell you.”
She asked, “Yes?”
Taking a deep breath, I shared, “Emerson moved out. He left just a little while ago. I asked him to leave and he left,” before realizing I was rambling and said, “I… I’m not mad at him, he just needed to leave.”
Her tone was understanding as she asked, “What did he do that you felt he should leave?”
I took another breath, trying, “He’s not doing well here with Hert and I.”
True to form, Erin stated, “Okay dear, now tell me the real reason.”
“I don’t want you to be upset with me. We got into an argument, he was apologizing and….” I couldn’t finish.
She seemed to catch on saying, “Rennillia dear, I am not upset with you. Emerson is my son and I love him. He is a grown man and makes his own decisions. I am sorry they are the wrong ones. You have to do what is right to keep your family intact. It only takes one mistake. You know that dear.”
Her words made me feel worse, knowing they came from her own experience.
All I could reply was, “Yes ma’am.”
The subject quickly changed to social functions and The Tea, before I knew it our conversation was over.
It wasn’t much longer and Hert returned with Sophia. I really didn’t want to tell him about Emerson but he asked the second he walked in the door.
“Did Roberts leave? His car is gone,” he questioned.
As I nodded, he gave me a strange look.
Asking, “You already told him to leave?”
I snapped at him, “Yes I did. I told you I wanted him to leave.”
Hert narrowed his eyes, interrogating, “Is there something you’re not telling me Renni?”
“I already told you. He’s been acting stupid for a while and from what I understand he’s no better at The Office. So what is the problem?” I defended, then feeling horrible, I added, “If you want him here then go get him but he’s a jerk all the time when you’re gone and I shouldn’t have to put up with it.”
His expression changed as he apologized, “I’m sorry Renni. I’ve been so busy and I know I’m hardly ever home. You shouldn’t have to deal with him. Things are going to get better, I swear. I’ll do my best to be home more.”
Hert’s apology made me feel terrible. I didn’t want to lie to him but the truth would make things so much worse. Hert would never forgive Emerson if I told him. Even though neither of them knew, they were brothers and I couldn’t do that to either of them. Besides, I had made exceptional progress in the wife department. I should be allowed at least one relapse.
For the first time in what had seemed like forever, we spent the evening together as a family. Hert put Sophia to bed then quickly returned downstairs. As he sat down on the couch, I moved onto his lap.
Kissing his cheek, I asked, “What time are we going to see your mother tomorrow?”
“I think I’ll stay here with Sophia and you can go,” he answered.
Surprised at his response, I said, “You don’t want to go?”
Shrugging his shoulders, he replied, “I know she likes when you go and it will give me a chance to spend some one on one time with Sophia.”
Snuggling closer, I asked, “And then do I get one on one time with you?”
Laughing, he said, “Well, aren’t you greedy?”
“Yes, I am,” I agreed.
Hert brushed his fingers down my cheek to my neck and across my collarbone. Smiling at him, I turned, still on his lap. Face to face with him, I leaned close, lightly kissing his lips. His hands firmly held on to my hips as he stood up. Wrapping my legs around him, our kiss continued through the living room, up the stairs and into our room. Never letting go, Hert gently set me on our bed, slowly, intently giving me one on one time.
Chapter 7
It was early when I woke to Hert’s smile. He kissed my forehead telling me good morning. The moment was perfect as he kissed my cheek and then my neck. I couldn’t think of anything else as he continued to my shoulder down my arm and to my hand. Wishing every morning could be like this, I enjoyed every second of his appreciation as his kisses trailed down the length of me and up the other side. Hert loving me was second only to one other and I could hear her waking up.
Exhaling rather loudly, I brushed my fingers across Hert’s arm.
“Time to get up,” I shared.
Hert appeared disappointed as he said, “But I wasn’t finished telling you good morning
.”
His comment thrilled me as I stated, “Next time don’t wait so long between….”
Hert stopped me saying, “I know Renni, I’m sorry.”
Stopping him this time, I assured, “It's okay. I still love you,” lightly kissing him before getting up to get Sophia.
After breakfast, the three of us spent the afternoon together. When Sophia took her nap I started getting ready to see Ms. Herterand. Hert unsuccessfully tried persuading me to stay home. I wanted to spend every moment I could with him but I wanted to visit her too. Missing my visits with her since her episode, Hert had only been to see her once since the funeral and I knew even if she didn’t show it, Mr. Roberts’s death would still be hurting her.
Sitting in my usual spot, I waited for them to wheel her in. With new pictures of Sophia in hand, I smiled cheerfully when I saw her. She looked the same as every other time I saw her except this time she immediately started talking. Not in the usual manner of question and demanding answer, but actually talking.
“Rennillia, I have some things to explain to you,” she started.
Staring through me with her glassy eyes, Ms. Herterand shared a piece of her life with me.
“Mason and I were friends. We had been friends from the time we were children. He never understood why I chose the man I did. I admit Charles was not the best decision I ever made. I was incredibly invested in him. To this day I cannot recall why. Without realizing I grew jealous when Mason started seeing Erin. So jealous in fact, I got married out of spite. Some years after we were both settled into our separate lives, Charles, being the man that he was, hurt me worse than he ever had before. Having no one else to turn to, I called Mason. He took me to The Office, which at that time was very small and right outside town. I stayed there for quite some time hiding from Charles and making plans to leave permanently. One night after Mason had a fight with Erin, he came to The Office. He was angry with her. In an effort to help him as he had helped me, I implied she was not right for him. We became very close after that but Erin was pregnant. I knew if Mason left her while she was pregnant, he would never succeed. Erin and her family had enough social standing to ruin him, so I left. I went back to Charles. Mason came to see me when he found out I was pregnant. He told me that he loved Erin but he had always loved me. I refused him, telling him to go back to Erin, that I did not want him or need him.”
My heart broke for her. How horrible it must have been for her to sacrifice her own happiness for someone she loved. I touched her hand as she finished her story.
“As Scott got older he started standing up to Charles. One night they got into a fight and Scott left. Charles started to go after him stating no son of his was going to walk out. Afraid of what might happen, I told him ‘he is not your son’. We divorced after that. No matter how terrible Charles was, finding out Scott was not his son actually killed him. Mason came after the funeral offering financial help for Scott and myself. He was very well established and I hoped we could start over. Mason regrettably did not feel the same. He informed me that he had built a life with Erin and that she was very good to him. He was unwilling to hurt her. They moved to Spain shortly after. I was incredibly regretful for the decisions I made in my life. Seeing Scott every day hurt me even more, knowing he too could have had a better life.”
There was no need for her to continue. I knew how the story ended.
My heart went out to her as I said, “I’m sorry.”
She ended our visit saying, “I did not tell you any of this with the desire of Scott knowing. However, one day he may need to know.”
The orderly wheeled her away before I had a chance to say anything. I slowly left the institution feeling the burden of their secrets in my heart. By the time I arrived home, I was conflicted. I decided as I walked in I would know when to share the information with him.
Hert greeted me with a kiss and asked if I was ready for dinner. As we sat at the table I only picked at my food feeling heart sick for Ms. Herterand, Erin and Mr. Roberts.
Hert’s eyes appeared curious as he asked, “Did my mother upset you?”
“I’m just sad for her,” I replied, shaking my head.
He looked unconcerned but showed excitement as he shared, “Oh, I have to show you what Sophia can do.”
Wishing he would have talked to me more about his mother, I watched him turn to Sophia saying, “High-fives,” and holding his hand up in front of her.
She did it! I couldn’t believe she high-fived him.
I laughed out loud, cheering, “Good job pumpkin!” before turning to Hert saying, “Umm, Uncle Jacks is going to be mad. He’s been trying for like a month to get her to do that.”
Turning back to Sophia, Hert whispered, “Then it will be our little secret.”
Wide eyed I said, “Are you actually doing something nice for Jackson?”
Hert smirked, saying, “Even he should get a break every now and then.”
Thinking to myself, ‘sure you know you were being nice’, I just smiled and shook my head. After all these years, Hert and Jackson had finally become friends.
Sophia started rubbing her big brown eyes, which meant she was sleepy. Hert and I put her to bed walking hand in hand back to our room. As I fought the urge to bring his mother up, I remembered that I was unaware of how long our romantic life would last once daily life got the best of us again and decided not to spoil the night.
Smiling wide at him as we entered our room, I sat down on the edge of our bed. Taking a moment to appreciate the man that he was, I watched him slide into bed.
Hert’s eyes were curious as he asked, “What’s on your mind?”
I turned towards him sharing, “You.”
Raising an eyebrow, he questioned, “Me?”
Nodding, I moved lying down beside him, confirming, “Yep.”
With a smirk he pressed, “What about me?”
Resting my head on his chest, I informed him, “Everything,” asking, “What about you? What’s on your mind?”
He responded, “Telling you good morning,” with a sly smile.
I was euphoric as Hert finished what he started this morning, giving me a more than substantial good night.
Chapter 8
Barely opening my eyes I stretched my arms out, wondering why my husband wasn’t beside me. I slowly sat up and got out of bed. At first I thought I slept late but when I looked at the clock and saw it was only four fifteen. I walked to the bathroom. After brushing my teeth and pulling up my hair, I headed out of my room to find Hert. As soon as I opened our bedroom door, he walked in.
“You’re already up?” he fussed appearing disappointed.
Nodding, I asked, “Where were you?”
Quickly answering, “Downstairs,” he took my hand and walked me back to our bed.
Watching him smile as he sat down motioning for me to get back in bed, I knew he was up to something.
Hert’s smile grew wider as he leaned closer. He kissed me softly and wrapped his arms around me tight before flinging us both all the way onto the bed.
Continuing to hold me tight, he confessed, “I have to go somewhere today.”
Using everything I had not to throw a fit, I politely asked, “On a Saturday?”
Nodding, he shared, “Yes, but I’ll only be gone for a few hours and Mr. Ramsden’s wife said she really enjoyed meeting you and wanted to visit with you while I’m gone.”
“So why are you trying to get me to go back to bed?” I questioned.
His smile grew wide again as he replied, “Well, I’m not leaving until noon and I don’t want you to be upset that I have to leave for a little while.”
I didn’t understand the logic of his answer until he kissed me.
Hert was definitely on the right track when it came to keeping me from getting upset. Thought gave way to impulse and within minutes, he could have been going off to a whole other continent and I would have wished him well. Ending with a slow kiss Hert remained very close to me.
Lightly kissing me, Hert shared, “We don’t have to, yet.”
With a sigh, I leaned my forehead against his shoulder, saying, “I meant ever.”
His voice was laced with delight as he assured, “There’s nowhere I’d rather be than right here with you.”
Falling into an old habit, I offered, “Then tell him you can’t make it today.”
Saying, “I can’t do that,” he started to pull away.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, advising, “No, no, don’t do that.”
“If I could get out of going, I would,” Hert assured.
Smiling at him, I disagreed, saying, “No, you wouldn’t but its okay.”
Narrowing his eyes at me, Hert questioned, “It is?”
As I mentally shouted ‘hell no, it’s not okay’, I answered, “Yes, dear,” with a smile.
Hert’s satisfaction at my answer was very clear and very disappointing.
After a while we did have to get up. Hert and I showered and got dressed. Hiding my disapproval at how good he looked with his suit on, I smiled and headed to Sophia’s room. I found the cutest little outfit for her to wear as I got her ready. Luckily she was in a good mood, all smiles and giggles from the moment she woke up. When all three of us were ready we headed downstairs.
Pretending to simply make conversation, I asked, “Where are ya’ll going?”
Hert appeared surprised at my question, replying, “Just a meeting.”
Nodding, I said, “Oh, I thought maybe it was something else. 'Cause you look so good.”
His surprised expression turned to confusion as he responded, “I always wear a suit.”
Shrugging, I explained, “I know…you just look…extra nice today.”
Hert smiled taking Sophia from me. He placed her in her playpen then walked back to me. Taking my hand he led me through the kitchen and into the dining room.
