by M. Sembera
I said, “Okay,” before she repeated, “So if you come between eleven and one, I won’t be here.”
Understanding now what she was saying, I replied, “Oh, okay. I can do that.”
We said goodbye and I hung up the phone.
“That was Amila, I’m going to stop at her house first,” I shared with Jackson.
He nodded as I kissed Sophia before heading out the door.
Wondering why I was still having the driver take me everywhere, since I no longer planned on obeying my husband, I waited to arrive at Amila’s. I informed the driver I might be a while but to wait outside. After he gave a quick, ‘yes ma’am’, I headed to the front door. I knocked and heard the door unlock then nothing. Assuming I was meant to just walk in, that’s what I did. Emerson was standing to the side until I shut the door.
Walking to the couch, he asked, “How is everything?”
“A mess as usual,” I replied before informing, “Hert’s still looking for you. He’s coming back to the house Saturday but you need to be careful because he’s here.”
Shocked, he blurted, “What?”
Nodding, I shared, “He was at the hotel Thursday and I’m pretty sure that where he’s been staying.”
Returning my nod, he offered, “What did you want to know?”
With everything that was going on it occurred to me, at the moment there was only one thing.
With a heavy sigh, I asked, “What were you coming to tell me before Hert stopped you?”
Glancing away, Emerson replied, “I told you I messed up and wanted to make things right.”
“The truth, Em,” I demanded.
Hanging his head, Emerson confessed, “That is the truth. The night I showed up at your house, I was upset about more than just my father having an affair. I’m sorry I lied to you.”
Incredibly confused, I questioned, “I’m pretty lost here. What did you lie about?”
“When Hert pulled me outside to talk to me the next morning, I told him I knew why he married you. I didn’t expect him to leave though and then when he came to the old Office saying I had messed everything up, I was going to tell you myself,” he shared.
Shaking my head, I admitted, “I don’t understand.”
Nodding at me, Emerson replied, “I didn’t either at first. I knew Hert was going to ask you to marry him after graduation because it was his way of protecting you, with your father and Salvador and all. Then when you left HIM and came back, Hert was so adamant about you being with him. I understood that because he had wanted you for the longest time and I could tell you wanted him too. I didn’t get the marriage thing though. Why would someone want to get married when they were completely devoted to something else?” pausing while I shook my head at him, Emerson finished by revealing, “Hert wouldn’t have been able to take over The Office if he wasn’t married to you.”
Taking a moment to think, I asked, “Why me?”
“I don’t know,” he said, before sharing, “I know he loves you and wants to protect you but I just thought you should know. I had a big part in that and I’m sorry.”
Nodding at him, I didn’t say another word; I just walked out of Amila’s house and got in the backseat of the car.
I understood Hert was honest about persuading Emerson, but he had persuaded me too. Recalling Hert explain about Emerson being the figure head of the company. He found out I was pregnant and things couldn’t have been more perfect. Then we got married and when Mr. Roberts died there was no question. I knew Hert loved me but he didn’t love me. Strangely enough it made so much sense, I felt better about the whole situation. The only sad part was, I did think there was more to it. The whole time I had been an arrangement, one that benefited both of us, until now.
Stopping by The Florist to give them the material for the tablecloth and order Jackson’s boutonniere, I made sure they knew when and where it was to be delivered. I made my hair appointment and stopped by The Store then headed back to the house. Declining the drivers offer, I carried the bags in myself and planned on having a relaxing rest of the day. I was hurt but really, I was relieved in a way. Finding out seemed to be the, ‘not quite right,’ I had been trying to figure out. When it came right down to it, Hert and I were an, ‘it is what it is,’ situation and I was going to deal with it when he got back Saturday. Until then, I had a huge Society event to attend with my very dear friend Jackson.
Walking into the kitchen, I passed through the living room greeting, “Hey, I’ll be down in a minute, as I headed up the stairs. I dropped my bags in the corner of my room, changed my clothes and headed back down.
Jackson looked up from Sophia, saying, “Hert called, I told him you went to Amila’s.”
Nodding, I sat on the floor with them and asked, “Anything else?”
“Just that he’d see me at The Office Monday,” he replied.
Smiling, I asked, “So, what are we playing?”
“Throw things at Uncle Jacks, I guess,” he laughed as Sophia continued to pelt him with toys and giggle.
“I’ll play,” I laughed, tossing a stuffed animal at him.
With a loud, “Ah, ya got me,” Jackson laid back as Sophia squealed and clapped her hands.
Then Sophia and I both threw animal after stuffed animal at him as he rolled around on the floor.
Having had such a fun day, I couldn’t understand why Sophia kept throwing fits after dinner, until Jackson informed me that she had not taken a nap. Letting her take an extra-long bath helped and finally she was down for the night.
Coming down the stairs, I heard Jackson ask, “How’s the Pea?”
Smiling, I said, “Finally asleep. When she doesn’t take a nap, she gets so tired she’s cranky.”
Appearing guilty, he apologized, “Sorry, we were having so much fun…”
I assured, “That’s okay,” as he trailed off.
“Where did you go today?” Jackson questioned with an odd expression on his face.
Picking up Sophia’s toys and tossing them in her play pen, I replied, “Amila’s, The Florist, and then The Store. Why?”
Shrugging, he said, “Usually, I can tell you have a lot on your mind but you don’t seem that way today.”
Nodding, I shared, “I got some clarity today and I realized, Hert and I weren’t ever what I thought we were or I hoped we’d be. I’m hurt that he lied to me but I’m not even mad at him anymore because at least now, I understand.”
“I’m so sorry,” he replied before saying, “Ren I…”
Shaking my head, I stopped him assuring, “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. This was between Hert and me. Once I get this whole Salvador thing sorted out, I’ll see where we're at and go from there.”
Sitting there quietly, I could tell there was something more he wanted to say.
Finished with Sophia’s toys, I sat on the couch with Jackson. Not wanting to talk about Hert or anything else that wasn’t a happy thought, I smiled wide at him. After he gave me a few strange looks and I smiled wider each time, he finally shook his head and started to laugh.
“So are you ready for tomorrow night?” I asked.
“Yea,” he replied before admitting, “I am a little nervous though.”
Completely surprised, I questioned, “Why?”
Shrugging, he asked, “What if I pick the wrong table?”
Shaking my head at him, I laughed, “If that’s why you’re nervous, don’t worry. I guarantee you’ll know which one is ours.”
“Can I have a hint?” he asked with a convincing smile.
Smiling back, I stated, “No you may not.”
With a heavy sigh, Jackson said, “Fine,” before asking, “Are you fixing to go to bed?”
Nodding, I replied, “Yea, I guess I need to get my beauty sleep if I’m going to be all pretty for tomorrow.”
With a wide smile, he assured, “Please, you could not sleep for three years and still be gorgeous.”
Getting up, I rolled my eyes. As I shook m
y head at him, I received his patented wink and smile before I headed up to bed.
Chapter 23
The morning and afternoon were a blur of drop off, pick up, hair appointment and even a trip to the hall to doubled check my table and centerpiece. Ellis complemented me, saying, she had her doubts but that it turned out lovely and she was looking forward to seeing my dress. Proud of myself, I took one last look at the short glass vase that held a large gold clover surrounded by real clover and baby breath that sat on a little round table covered with a champagne gold sheer fabric and dark green underneath. Everything was ready, except me, so I headed back to the house to put on my gown. Happy with the way everything for The Society Ball had come together, I couldn’t wait to put my dress on. After my dress, I slipped on my shoes, then my jewelry. Sighing, I had to mentally thank Hert again, for having my grandmother’s bracelet repaired. It went perfectly with the little emerald earrings and Sophia’s ring. Looking in the mirror, I took a deep breath and thought, ‘the night is what you make it.’ The driver arrived and I was on my way.
Pulling up to the front of the hall, the driver stopped. The door was opened for me and I stepped out of the car and into the hall. Walking into the foyer, I was greeted by Ellis. She smiled and pointed to the large decorated room. Scanning the room, I found my table and saw Jackson standing at it.
“Is your Partner at the correct table?” she asked.
I replied, “He is,” with a slight nod.
With another smile, she handed me the boutonniere and said, “Proceed to the hall.”
Suddenly, my stomach was in knots. The closer I got to our table, the harder it was to contain my excitement.
Smiling the way only he could, Jackson was wearing a dark green tux with a champagne colored vest and tie. Stepping directly in front of him, I pinned the clover boutonniere to his lapel. Pulling out my chair, he slid it next to his and we both sat.
“Nice centerpiece,” he complimented.
Smiling, I replied, “I thought you’d like it.”
Smiling wide, he leaned to my ear and whispered, “I’d tell you how you look but I’m pretty sure you would slap me.”
Heat spread up from my chest and I knew my face was turning red as I informed, “You look incredible.”
Clearing his throat, Jackson asked, “How did I do with your gift.”
I looked at the wide box, wrapped in gold paper with a transparent green ribbon tied around it, answering, “It’s lovely.”
We watched the other couples meet up at their tables in silence.
A waiter walked by, setting a flute of champagne in front of Jackson and then one in front of me. I shook my head discouraging Jackson from picking up his flute. He mouthed the word sorry and I smiled placing my hand over his. When everyone was served, Ellis walked to the front of the room.
She announced, “Thank you all for attending this evenings Annual Society Ball. I am pleased to say only two couples were excluded. You may now properly greet your Partner.”
I whispered, “Stand up and face me.”
Jackson did what he was told, looking slightly confused. Everyone in the room waited for Ellis to be seated at her table. With all eyes on her, we watched her hold her hand up to her partner. As her partner took her hand, she stood. Bowing in front of Ellis, he kissed the top of her hand and held it while they lifted their champagne flutes with their free hands. Jackson’s smile beamed as we and everyone else in the room mimicked them.
“The evening may now officially begin,” Ellis proclaimed.
Everyone clinked their flutes together before taking a sip and returning to their seated positions.
Leaning to my ear again, Jackson asked, “So what now?”
With a light smile, I replied, “You can relax now. Just dinner and the dance, then it’s over.”
Nodding, he smiled back.
Dinner was quiet and once our plates were cleared, the band started to play. Ellis and her partner glided to the center of the dance floor. Slowly others joined.
“Would you like to dance?” Jackson politely asked.
Nodding, I replied, “Yes.”
Jackson stood as I took his hand. He led me to the dance floor, placed one arm around my waist and continued holding my hand. As we started to dance, I noticed he respectfully left a comfortable space between us. Out on the dance floor with him, I finally understood. The Society was pointless and that was the point. All the things I did preparing for the evening, took my mind off of all the seriousness in my life. The event turned out to be a wonderful temporary escape from the realities in my life. When the last dance announcement was made, I felt disappointed the night was over. I wasn’t in a hurry to get back home and back to my life.
The last song was slow. Stepping a little closer, I noticed Jackson starting to fidget.
Smiling softly at him, I whispered, “Thank you.”
“For what?” he asked in a low tone.
My smile widened as I said, “Everything.”
Pulling me a little closer, Jackson shared, “I’m sorta sad it’s over. I’ve never had you all to myself before.”
Nodding, I rested the side of my head against his chest. As we finished the last dance of the evening, I stood closer and held him tighter. Slowly letting go when the music stopped, we returned to our table. I picked my gift up off the table and we headed toward the foyer to wait for our trunk. The knot returned to my stomach and I started to feel nervous. We received the trunk and walked to the parking lot, where my driver was waiting next to Jackson’s car. The closer we got to his car, the more nervous I felt. Taking a deep breath as he opened his passenger door, I knew what needed to be done.
“I think you should go back home,” I said.
Caught off guard, Jackson asked, “Why?”
Not wanting to tell him the real reason, I explained, “Well, Hert will be back in the morning and your mom has Sophia until tomorrow so… I think we should call it a night.”
With an understanding smile, he offered, “Did you wanna take the trunk with you?”
“No the centerpiece is for you, I’ll get the trunk from you… Sometime,” I answered, before asking, “Did you want me to open my gift before I go?”
Shaking his head, Jackson replied, “You can open it when you get home.”
We both stood there for a moment not really knowing what else to say before Jackson smiled with a nod and left.
I slid into the back seat and the driver pulled away. As I tapped my fingers against my gift on the way back to the house, I decided to go ahead and unwrap it. When I opened the box, the fine line I had walked preserving our friendship disintegrated. I saw Jackson’s old green hoodie folded inside. Unmistakable as the one I used to wear, it still had the faded Ren&Jacks that I had written in black marker on the shoulder. Quickly tapping on the glass, I asked the driver to go to Jackson’s instead. Making a U-turn the driver changed direction. Although it only took about twenty minutes, it felt like an eternity getting there.
The second we pulled up in front of Jackson’s apartment, I thanked and dismissed the driver before jumping out. Holding my open gift box in my arms, I all but ran to his door, frantically knocking on it. The door opened wide as Jackson stepped out.
“I opened my gift,” I shared.
Smiling, Jackson asked, “Where’s your driver?”
Shrugging, I replied, “I let him go.”
Nodding, he stepped to the side so I could walk in.
I set my gift on his table, saying, “So…” before he broke in, asking, “You wanna drink?”
Nodding, I said, “I really like it, my gift.”
Shaking his head with a smile, he stepped into his little kitchen and grabbed two beers out of the refrigerator.
As he handed me my beer, he asked, “Is that my mom’s ring?” glancing at my hand.
With a little laugh, I answered, “Well, she said I could wear it tonight but she gave it to me for Sophia. You just noticed it? I’ve had it on all night.”
Trying to hold back his smile, Jackson shared, “To be fair, I wasn’t looking at your hands.”
My chest felt warm again and I had to look away. Smiling as I glanced back at him, I noticed him lean against the pantry door. His jacket, vest and tie were off. His shirt was halfway unbuttoned, revealing a white undershirt and was untucked from his slacks that ended with his bare feet.
Smitten with Jackson and his appearance, I set my drink on the counter and stepped closer to him.
Shrugging, I asked, “What were you looking at?”
Fidgeting slightly, he cleared his throat, saying, “The rest of you.”
Raising my eyebrow, I said, “Well, here I am,” before stepping right in front of him.
“What are you doing here, Ren?” he questioned.
Feeling it was fairly obvious; I reached my hand up and slid my fingers against the unbuttoned edge of his shirt while my other hand freed the still fastened ones. All I could think of was The Wren on his chest and how badly I wanted to lay my hand over it. Jackson placed his hand on the back of my neck before sliding it in my hair. He started to pull my hair down then stopped suddenly. Twisting the both of us around, so I was against the pantry, he leaned in close.
I thought he was going to kiss me but instead he informed, “If you’re offering, I’m not gonna say no.” I nodded and started to smile before he imparted, “You need to think real hard about what you’re doing here…cause if you’re looking for me to be the better man, don’t…cause I’m not.”
The disintegrated line of friendship began to reappear.
I could feel myself starting to frown as I turned my head to the side and looked down at the floor. Although I knew stopping before anything got started was the right thing to do, it didn’t feel right. It felt wrong in every way. It wasn’t an impulse, wanting to be here with him. It was happiness and friendship and honesty and everything else. To take it farther and risk losing all of that was wrong, no matter how right it felt.
Still staring at the floor, I offered, “I don’t know what to say.”
Jackson held me tight, saying, “You don’t have to say anything.”
