"That's easy," he said, slipping his hand down to rest against my neck. "I love watching your mind work. The way you carefully consider every move before you make it. It's what makes you such a terrible sparrer." His eyes glittered. "And such a horrible person to fall in love with."
"Oh?" I said weakly. "Why's that?"
"Because I told you I loved you five minutes ago, and you haven't responded," he whispered with a feather light kiss on my lips. "But you know what I love most about you?"
I swallowed, my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth.
"That your emotions are always written on your face."
His kiss was not innocent this time. Instinct took over and I leaned into him, sliding my hands around his waist. He pulled me against him, and I melted into this new feeling and trying to scare away the questions and fears—because I knew I felt the same. I had fought it tooth and nail but he was right. There was no hiding how I felt.
I took his shirt and pulled him back to me, granting him permission to take things a little further. His fingertips brushed my back as they slipped under my shirt, and I pressed myself even closer. There was something stirring, something he'd awakened back at New Year's, something that I was both ready and not ready for.
"We shouldn't… This is already so complicated," he whispered against my cheek. "I should go—"
"I don't really want to be alone tonight." The words came out before I could stop them.
"Lexie, I don't know if we should—"
"I mean, I don't know if that means I want to…" I swallowed. "But I don't want to stop. Not yet." Because we stopped, I might've wised up and realized this was going to be an epic mistake.
But I didn't care. I was in love with James Riley.
Smarter instincts be damned.
"Would you come back to my apartment with me?"
Twenty-Five
I cracked open an eye, but the absence of warmth next to me told me I was alone. And for that, I was kind of grateful.
There was a lot to process in the early morning light.
I'd had no intention of sleeping with James. None. Even in the throes of passion, with his lips drawing forth new and exciting feelings, I'd remained sane and promised myself that I wouldn't take things too far.
But it kind of…happened.
We'd lain in bed, cuddling and talking. Then cuddling had turned to kissing. Kissing turned into his hand up my shirt. Once my shirt was off, so was his. Then the rest of the clothes, and so on, and so forth.
I'd never really had any great opinions about virginity, and I didn't feel any different about not being one anymore. Especially since the actual act had been, well…not as romantic as advertised, or at least, not as nice as the snuggling before and after. If I hadn't seen James' philandering on display over the past six months, I might've guessed he was as clueless as I was.
I traced the outline of what I presumed was James in my pillow. He was in love with me, and he had been for some time. We'd laid bare our emotions, our fears of what this new complication to our already weird relationship would bring. And as we'd drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, we'd agreed to take it one day at a time, even though we'd already taken a huge step forward physically.
All I knew was I wanted to make out with him more. The sex part could use some improvement.
A giggle erupted from my chest, and it sounded strange in the silent room. Too silent, in fact. I usually heard Nicole walking around. But even after straining my ears, I heard nothing.
I supposed that was to be expected. She was probably pretty hurt and didn't want to talk. I reached for my phone on the bedside table and tapped out a message to Marie, Can we talk? Perhaps she could help me smooth things over, or at least help me come up with the right words to say to apologize.
I'd been wrong to say such hurtful things, but at the same time, I was hurt that they lied to me. That they still felt the need to protect me, when I was the one who'd been protecting them all along.
I wanted a rational, non-emotional conversation with Nicole about what Gavon had given to Nicole, why, and whether or not I could use those funds for school. But Marie was right; Nicole couldn't separate her own issues with Gavon. She was so convinced he was evil that she'd lied to make me believe it, too. I understood why, but I just needed her to think clearly for ten minutes while we figured all this out.
But first I needed to apologize.
I groaned and flipped onto my side. I'd apologize in a minute. Once I found my nerve.
I glanced at the text and furrowed my brow; it hadn't been read yet. Marie always checked her texts. And I hadn't gone overboard with her as much as with Nicole, so I doubted she'd be mad enough not to read them.
I sat up and summoned my shirt and pants from where they'd been thrown the night before. I wanted to talk to Marie about Nicole, but I also wanted to talk about James. I wasn't sure what happened next, but I was excited about all the possibilities.
I transported myself directly into her apartment. It was early in the morning, so I tiptoed over to Marie's bedroom, cracking open the door.
The bed was messy, but empty.
A sliver of fear trickled down the back of my neck, but I kept myself calm. She could've been out partying still, or perhaps she'd gone out and met a guy and was at his place. Or perhaps…
I released a shaky breath and leaned against the doorframe. Now was not the time to let those old fears take over. I'd made my peace with them. And there was an edict in place preventing anyone from harming me or my sisters.
But the barriers were down last night.
"That doesn't mean anything," I whispered to the empty air and the dragon-like voice in my mind. Before I lost my mind, I transported back home to Florida. I stood for a moment, breathing out the anxiety that was starting to churn like a hurricane in my stomach. I knew I just needed to put eyes on one sister, and it would all go away.
"Nicole?" I called, hearing the worry in my voice. I crossed the hall to her room and knocked, and when I didn't hear anything, opened the door.
Her room was empty.
Anxiety blossomed in my chest and I shook my head. There was an edict. There was no way Cyrus could get to my sisters. It had been over two years. Why would he choose to strike now?
The worry continued to bubble, especially when I saw Nicole's car in the driveway. That didn't mean anything; perhaps Marie took her to cool off. But would Nicole agree to a magical means of transportation, especially after what I said the night before?
Guilt joined worry in the pit of my stomach and I glanced at my phone, begging for it to light up with Marie's name and a text confirming that she was fine.
Then I shook my head, swallowed the panic. I had a solution for all of this—the health charm. The one I'd been using for months to make sure Marie was in good health. I could use it on both of them and know once and for all.
I retreated to my room and dug in my closet for Marie's hairbrush and the spell book that held the charm in it. I held both items in my hand and concentrated, as instructed, and I waited for the flash of white light.
Only this time, the light was yellow.
Not dead, but not safe.
I gasped and scooted away from them as if they were on fire. Spots danced in my vision as I envisioned the thousands of different ways they could be in trouble and I gasped for air. Fear and guilt took turns in my mind, knowing it was my fault, hating myself for being so trusting, for being too complacent. For letting James convince me they would be fine instead of returning to fix the barrier.
For James to—No. He had nothing to do with this. Of that, I was absolutely certain.
I had James on my side, maybe even Gavon. They could help me.
Or could they?
They were all in the same Guild as Cyrus, which meant they couldn't directly challenge him. And what would their Guild care if a potion-maker and a healer were in danger? To them, my sisters' lives were worth less than dirt.
I needed to think
clearly about this, which was increasingly difficult the more my heart raced. Someone had taken my sisters, and the only logical explanation was Cyrus. But he hadn't killed them, which meant he was using them to get to me.
But even if I wanted to, I couldn't. Gavon's edict had also forbidden me from dueling with any of them.
Except if I requested an induction match.
Magic hummed in my veins at the idea, but I shut it down. To go to New Salem and request an induction match was absolute lunacy. No matter how strong I'd become in the past few months, I wasn't about to put myself in Cyrus' line of fire unless I absolutely had to. I'd go find James or Gavon, and we'd figure something out together.
Getting to my feet, I wiped away my tears and stared at myself in the mirror. I was a Warrior, damn it. And as James said, we didn't cry.
The tear crackled before me, drawing fear into my stomach for the first time in months. Perhaps it was because I would be crossing it by myself, and I fully appreciated the violent nature of it. If I hadn't gone through it already, I would've been doubtful there was any way to survive it. Knowing what lay on the other side of it, and what I was prepared to do, made it all the more terrifying.
Before I could move, a foot jutted out of the white ferocity. But I knew as soon as I saw it that it didn't belong to James or Gavon. I stepped back, watching the man who'd haunted my nightmares for months step out of the tear, brushing himself off before pausing. Slowly, his gaze drifted up to me, and a smile curled onto his face.
I swallowed my panic. "Where are they?"
"Shame you still haven't learned your manners," Cyrus said, intertwining his fingers in front of him. "It is customary for adversaries to exchange pleasantries."
In response, I shot an attack spell his way, and it bounced harmlessly off him. I'd known it would, but a girl could dream.
"Was that necessary?" Cyrus asked, with an infuriatingly unconcerned air. "You can't attack me and I can't attack you. So whatever issue you think you have—"
"You took my sisters," I snarled.
"Did I?" he asked with a chuckle. "Oh, how very interesting."
His amused smile sent the first shot of doubt down my spine. He could've been playing stupid, sure, but what if he wasn't? What if he hadn't been the one—
That's what he wants you to think.
"So here we are. You've got a grievance against me, and no recourse to take other than to waste your energy in useless offensive spells." He tapped his finger against his chin. "What shall we do?"
He was leading me to the obvious answer, the insane one that was my absolute last resort. If my anger got the better of me, I'd make a mistake. But his words had plucked something in my gut, and my Warrior magic was humming with the need to fight him for real. Especially as he looked older, less menacing than the last time I'd faced him. I was his equal—perhaps even his better. James had said as much, hadn't he?
Don't you dare, came the smarter half. James never wanted you to get into a ring with him.
"I could go to Gavon," I replied. "I could tell him what you've done."
"You could do that." He stepped out of the way. "Please, after you."
I took a step then stopped. Maybe that was what he wanted me to do.
"Well?" He waved his arm.
I hated him so very much in that moment. My gut was too jumbled from panic and nerves to tell me what I should do. Cyrus never had my best interests at heart, so if he wasn't trying to prevent me from doing something, that meant I shouldn't do it, right? I felt trapped between what I thought to be the truth and what I feared could be the truth.
"I wonder if your reticence is due to your lack of confidence in your assertions of my guilt," Cyrus said after a long moment. "Because if you were to go to Gavon, and he accused me when there was no proof, it might cast doubt on his position as Guildmaster. The rest of the Council might see fit to relieve him of his duties. Which would, in effect, put me in charge." He smiled. "And as much as I'd enjoy that, I doubt you'd feel the same."
I hadn't considered that scenario. Was Gavon's position really that precarious? Or was Cyrus lying to me again?
"Well, if you didn't take them, then who the hell did," I snapped, trying to buy myself some time.
"There are three possible scenarios. The first, as you've stated, is that I took them. Your father would have to prove such a thing in front of the Guild, and I'm afraid I've far surpassed him in covering my tracks." He smiled, and something tickled the back of my mind. "He has very little idea what I've been doing, I'm afraid. It would be easy for me to fool him and the idiots on the Council."
My memory pinged with something that I'd long forgotten, and I angrily brushed it aside.
"The second scenario, far less likely, is that your father took your sisters."
"He wouldn't."
"I said it was far less likely," Cyrus said with a glare. "And finally, the last option, which to my eyes seems the most likely since I am innocent, is that your new friend took them."
The way he said friend raised the hair on the back of my neck. Did he know about James and me? Was this some way to trap us both, to take advantage of our new relationship?
"And why would he do that?" I asked, even as the grain of doubt nestled in the back of my mind.
"Jealousy? Revenge? A spot of fun? After all, he's the only one with a pact to spar with you." Cyrus eyes glittered. "I could think of a few reasons he'd be envious of you. Not the least of which is your power, your intellect, and your relationship with your father."
I almost believed him. But I knew James. He might've been jealous of me at one point, but we were long past that. Now he loved me.
So he says…
Shut up, other me.
"Our pact stipulates that he can't induct me," I said, lifting my chin higher. "So what would he gain by kidnapping them?"
"Your pact says that he can't induct you. It says nothing about requesting an induction match." His eyes narrowed at my obvious surprise. "Did you think Gavon was the only one to review your little agreement?"
Something clicked in my brain, and everything fell into place. My original assumption had been right: Cyrus had taken my sisters to force me into an induction match so he could finally kill me.
But what he didn't know was I wasn't the same idiot he'd nearly killed. Or maybe he did know, and he didn't care. Either way, this entire song and dance was getting tiring. I was done with spending my life worrying about this lunatic.
"Fine," I snapped, praying that I wasn't making a mistake. "Induct me and let's get this over with."
"Ah, but we have to make it official, so your father won't be able to interfere." He glanced around as if expecting Gavon to appear out of nowhere. "We must make these things official, as it were. A declaration of your intent. Say I, Alexis Carrigan, request induction into the New Salem Warrior's Guild."
This was my last chance to back out. To go find Gavon and pray he'd have some magical solution to fix this.
Or, you could end this thing once and for all.
"I, Alexis Carrigan, request induction into the New Salem Warrior's Guild."
Magic sizzled in my veins as whatever old magic I'd just appealed to solidified my intent. There was no backing out now.
Cyrus' eyes glittered. "Well, who am I to argue?"
I was struck with the oddest sensation of déjà vu as I walked along a stony path, following Cyrus. He said nothing to me, although the catty smile on his face told me that either he'd been pleasantly surprised by my offer, or I was playing right into his hands.
"You look worried, my dear," Cyrus said, breaking our silence as we walked into the village. "Second thoughts about your intention statement?"
Like hell I'd let him know what I was thinking. "Not even one."
The sparring arena loomed in the distance, but Cyrus took another turn down a new road. This one was lined with houses much nicer than the rest of the village. There were fewer beggars on the street, although the stench remained. I absen
tmindedly wondered if Gavon had tried to implement plumbing, or if they'd even be receptive to the idea.
We drew closer to a large building, one more ornate than even the nicest on the block. The double doors opened, and Cyrus swept in, with me following slowly behind. His boots clacked on the old wooden floor, and as my eyes adjusted to the candlelight, I recognized the room as an old meeting space from history books.
That was when I heard a familiar voice.
"What is the meaning of this?" Gavon had risen to his feet, his face a rare mixture of shock and worry. There were others in the room I vaguely recognized as the Council.
"You tell me. She's your daughter," Cyrus said, as if he hadn't masterminded this whole thing. "She's come to claim her birthright as a member of our Guild."
"She can't, as long as she's in Clan Carrigan," Gavon said, almost too quickly. He shot a dark look at me.
"I've not been in the Clan for two years," I said clearly. "Ergo, there's nothing preventing me from joining your guild."
Gavon clenched his jaw. "We will have to confer—"
"Actually," Cyrus said, and my blood ran cold, "since she participated in an introduction match, there are no laws preventing her from requesting an induction match, assuming, of course, all previous hurdles to introduction are cleared." He glanced to me. "As it appears they are."
Gavon's red face had turned purple, and I distractedly wondered if that was where I'd gotten my coloring from. "I see."
"I think we should complete this match today. After all, the crowds have become thirsty for another match, since they were so deprived of a good one with our young master Riley." Cyrus glanced around before his gaze settled on Gavon. "And where is our newest member? I hope that his newfound freedom to explore the Old World hasn't interfered with your ability to control him. I'd hate for him to…go rogue."
Whatever conversation Gavon and Cyrus were having was lost on me, but it was clear they were speaking in a code they both understood.
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