by Anna Small
She pressed her hands to her chest, willing her breathing to return to normal. Music had been her link to him and the sole reason for overstepping the bounds of propriety. If only she could take lessons from Colonel Blakeney without incurring derision from her hosts. Jeremy would be sure to sneer, and Lucinda would be unhappy if Jane chose playing over sitting for endless portraits.
Her desires mattered little, however. Colonel Blakeney was merely a guest, the same as she. Eventually, his visit would end and he would leave. She would never see him again.
She walked to the window and pressed her forehead against the pane. The frosty glass did little to cool her heated brow.
Sitting beside a genius for half the night had caused her hands to sweat and her breath to rush from her lips, as though she had walked the perimeter of Shropshire. Her loss of composure had nothing to do with the man himself. How could it? Their lives were worlds apart. Surely, he had taken pity on her for her lack of instruction. He was simply being kind.
Purple clouds formed on the horizon. A few stars remained overhead, twinkling lazily in the coming dawn. The sun would rise soon, and the household would be all a-flutter at the colonel’s arrival. She would probably never be alone with him again.
She brushed her fingertips over her cheeks, surprised they were damp with tears. Music and feeling and…and F.B. had intermingled in her soul, until one had become the other.
Her jumbled emotions were nothing more than girlish sentimentality. A little homesickness certainly had something to do with her maudlin spirit, and he had been so kind, so friendly…
His hand had been so warm beneath hers. They had moved as one being with only one purpose between them.
She exhaled on the window, and her breath bounced back into her mouth, as warm as his had been. Somehow, beyond the difference in their ages and backgrounds, she’d felt a kinship.
Nonsensical dreaming was all it was. Girlish fantasy and listening to Lucinda’s romantic notions was the source behind her confused thoughts.
So why did she feel the world she had known before had never existed?
Though she wasn’t the least bit sleepy, she climbed into bed beside Lucinda. Colonel Parker had offered her a solitary room at the start of her visit, but she found the large house a little frightening at night. She scooted close to Lucinda, taking comfort in her friend’s even breathing.
The sweet tones of the pianoforte filtered through the closed door and layers of carpeted floors and walls. She wondered if he thought of his lost love as he played.
It was too much to think a man like he would ever play for a simple country girl like her.
Chapter Four
Jane felt self-conscious as she walked downstairs with Lucinda, who looked fresh and pretty with her blonde curls tied up in a bright pink bow. Jane had wanted to look her best when she met Colonel Blakeney at breakfast, but her yellow gown looked drab next to Lucinda’s white muslin.
“You must allow me to dress you for the ball,” Lucinda said. “Forgive my bluntness, but none of your gowns are suitable. I have an adorable silk you may borrow which will make you the toast of the evening. I’m sure even a lieutenant will dance with you, for the soldiers are always present and make everything so”—she sighed a little, a dreamy smile on her lips—“enjoyable.”
“If it pleases you, Lucinda,” Jane murmured, though she wanted to scream. Gowns, balls, and handsome officers in their regimentals. It was like listening to her sisters all over again. The colonel would probably not attend, and she wanted nothing more than to spend time with him, even though she came to this thought with some guilt. Lucinda was looking forward to introducing her to her friends. “I’ll wear whatever you wish,” she replied.
Male voices from the dining room reached her. She recognized Colonel Blakeney’s low tone and hesitated, nearly tripping Lucinda, who giggled. “There you are, daydreaming again. Do not let Colonel B. intimidate you. He’s very nice, really. He must have come in the night when we were sleeping. Did you hear him, Jane?”
Before she could reply, they were in the dining room. The men stood at their entrance, although Jeremy only half rose from his chair, a piece of bread dangling from his hand.
“There they are!” Colonel Parker embraced Lucinda as she planted a loud kiss on his cheek. “Rays of sunshine, the pair of them. Blakeney, has not Lucinda grown since you saw her last? And this lovely young lady is Henry Brooke’s daughter, Jane. I’m not sure how much you remember of our conversation last night when you arrived. She’s staying on with us for a few more weeks.”
Jane’s legs trembled when Colonel Blakeney’s gaze turned toward her.
“It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Brooke. I have heard many stories of your father’s generosity and wit.”
She shyly returned his friendly nod and hoped she wasn’t blushing. In the light of day, his appearance was striking, with his black hair tied back in a sailor’s queue. His coat and linen were even finer than Jeremy’s, and he exuded an air of authority, even though he was as much a guest as she was. Her heart sank. The closeness she’d felt the night before was a trick of her imagination. He was a man of the world, and certainly had nothing in common with a country girl. He had bestowed a little kindness on her, and nothing more. She could pinch herself for thinking it had been something else.
“Our host has told me a great deal about you, but I am afraid you know little of me,” he continued. “I’ve heard you enjoy music, which is a particular love of mine. Frederick Blakeney. Your servant, Miss Brooke.”
Relief washed over her. Their secret meeting was safe. She dipped into a curtsy and hastily sat beside Lucinda, which placed her opposite him. When she caught his eye again, he winked. She took a long sip of tea and settled into her hearty breakfast of poached eggs, kippers, and toast.
The family was not one for keeping silent during meals, and it wasn’t long before Lucinda returned to her favorite subject.
“Papa, you are taking us to the ball on Saturday, are you not? You did promise.”
He gave her an indulgent smile. “I’ve already told you, my bad leg has been poorly of late. I’m sure Blakeney would be happy to escort you. And your brother is going.”
Lucinda pouted. “Jeremy always ignores me the moment we arrive, Papa. I end up dancing with those frightful Turner boys. They trod on one’s toes. I’ve thrown out two pairs of slippers already this season.” She turned imploring eyes on Colonel Blakeney. “Do say you’ll come, Colonel B. You’ve always danced brilliantly.” She clasped her hands to her bosom.
“As my services are in such dire need, I will venture to this important ball and ensure the safety of your dancing slippers.”
“Oh, thank you! And you must dance the quadrille with Jane.” Lucinda went back to her breakfast.
He looked at Jane. “Do you enjoy these country balls as much as Lucinda?”
Jane fidgeted with her fork. Lucinda’s mentioning his dancing skills had brought an image to her mind of the colonel sweeping her around a ballroom. She gulped. “I’m afraid I have not attended many balls.”
“You said you were coming, Jane,” Lucinda said. “We shall have so much fun! Do say yes.”
Jane held back a sigh. “Of course, I will go. But I’m not a very good dancer. My sisters prefer dancing, while I enjoy listening to the music.”
The colonel gave Jane a sympathetic smile. She smiled tentatively back, then, horrified with her flirtatious behavior, smothered butter onto an already soggy piece of toast, which dripped all over her plate.
“I quite agree with Miss Brooke. I leave the dancing to the young people.”
“Pah, Colonel B.! You’re not so old,” Lucinda exclaimed, merrily pouring a glass of apple cider. “You’re not close to Papa’s age at all.”
“I resent that, my dear,” her father said with a laugh.
Jeremy perked up, his eyes bright. “I should enjoy the ball, I think. We’ve been stuck in this old house all week with hardly any e
ntertainment.”
“That reminds me,” Lucinda said, nudging Jane in the ribs. “Jane must play for us. Colonel B., just wait until you hear her. She is ever so much better than I am. Papa, do you not think so?”
“Of course,” Colonel Parker replied, occupied with his newspaper.
“Colonel Blakeney, would you like to hear Jane play later?”
Jane shot her a look, but the colonel seemed interested. “If she is at leisure to play, I will be happy to attend her.”
Jane’s cheeks burned at the vivid memory of the night before. In the light of day, it all seemed like a dream. She knew he was still looking at her and wondered if anyone had noticed her blush.
“I will play for a short while, but then I must write my letters.”
“Oh, Jane, do not be so boring! Would you not rather go into the village? A new sweet shop opened last month, and I’ve been longing to see it.”
“I’ll go,” Jeremy said.
Jane hesitated. She’d rather not be outdoors with Jeremy if Colonel Blakeney remained inside, but it seemed rude to say no. “A walk sounds…enjoyable.”
Colonel Blakeney drained the last of his tea. “I would enjoy a walk into town, too. May I accompany you young people, or will I be out of place in a sweet shop?”
Lucinda giggled, and Jane smiled shyly at him. She wondered why she kept expecting him to blurt out their secret, but then her heart sank a little. Perhaps he had not mentioned it because it meant nothing to him.
“You must buy us sweets, then, Colonel B.,” Lucinda said. “I’ve spent all my pin money this week, and Jeremy’s too selfish to part with a farthing.”
“You still owe me ten pence from last week.”
Colonel Blakeney laughed at Lucinda’s pout, his dark eyes sparkling. “I promise to indulge both you and Miss Brooke, if she will permit it.”
Lucinda turned to her expectantly. “Oh, do say yes, Jane.”
It would be impolite to refuse, and Lucinda had nudged her ever so slightly beneath the tablecloth.
“Yes.” Jane ate the rest of her food, hardly tasting a bite. Every time she looked up, even to reach for the saltcellar, the colonel’s gaze unsettled her. It was as if she’d never handled a fork or glass before.
She turned her attention to Lucinda, grateful her ceaseless chatter ensured no one would have a moment to think of anything beyond the anticipation of marzipan and mints.
****
Jane peeked at her reflection in Lucinda’s mirror. Her cheeks bore two rosy spots, as if she’d run a mile. The surge of color was flattering, and she marveled at her appearance. She didn’t look bookish at all, as her mother often scolded. In truth, she almost resembled her sisters when they prepared for a special outing. She could still hear their excited giggles even while she warned them of the dangers they might face at whatever ball or party they planned to attend.
“Oh, la, Jane!” Rosalind would chortle, swirling around in her petticoat and chemise, her long dark curls bouncing about. “Spare us your lectures. Why not leave your books and come with us? There will be punch and cake, and…”
“Handsome officers!” Amelia had squealed, seizing Jane’s hands and pulling her into a dizzying dance around their chamber.
She sighed at the memory. Although she missed her sisters, when Amelia had invited Jane to spend a few weeks with her, she’d taken her father’s advice and gone to the Parkers’ instead. She was happy now she had. She would never have met…
Lucinda’s quick hug broke into her thoughts. “You are glowing, my dear friend,” she said with a laugh. “I do believe you are looking forward to the sweet shop as much as I.”
“Oh yes,” Jane stammered. “It will do me good to take some fresh air.”
“Then you and Colonel B. have something in common, besides music. He also enjoys walking and the outdoors. That’s why his complexion is so dark. Some people find bronzed skin unbecoming, but I think on a gentleman, it is the height of romance.” Lucinda sat at her vanity and brushed her shimmering hair. “I do appreciate your being so kind to him. The world has not treated him fairly, I’m afraid.”
Jane picked up a blue silk ribbon from the vanity and placed it against her hair. The blue offset her rosy cheeks, which reddened the more she thought about the upcoming walk.
“He is easy to converse with,” she said at length.
“Well,” Lucinda began, rising from her chair and planting Jane firmly into it, “he is perfectly safe company for any young lady. I doubt he will ever marry and does not seem to want children.” A wash of color flooded her cheek. “Papa told me his injuries were quite extensive.” Her voice lowered to a conspiratorial whisper, even though there was no one else in the room. “It is a jolly good thing he is not his brother’s heir.”
Jane watched Lucinda’s movements in the mirror. Jane’s long brown tresses tumbled over her shoulders and down her back. She marveled at the transformation. Lucinda brushed her hair until it crackled, then took the blue ribbon and tied it around Jane’s head.
“What do you mean, it’s a good thing he is not the heir?”
Though she knew they should not be discussing the colonel, Lucinda’s words intrigued her. She had a burning desire to learn all she could about Frederick—Colonel Blakeney—regardless of the manner in which the information was conveyed.
Lucinda crossed the room to her wardrobe, an impressive armoire filled with gowns in an array of rainbow-inspired colors.
“His brother is the Earl of Falconbury. Their seat is here in Shropshire, in a lovely place called Dornley Park, but Colonel B. prefers to stay with us whenever he’s home. Papa has been to their house in London, which he said rivals Chatsworth.” She selected a light blue muslin gown. Jane had admired it recently and resolved to update her own wardrobe when she got home.
“Their middle brother is the Earl’s heir,” Lucinda continued, rattling off the Blakeney family history. “None of them have any children, which is a shame. Fortunately for Colonel B., he will not have to take his brother’s place at court and will be spared the endless suffering his injury has cost him.” She shook her head. “People can be so cruel. They will look past the goodness in a man’s heart and see only the exterior. He does not deserve such a fate. So”—she held the dress up for Jane’s approval—“it is for the best he will remain a bachelor. Do not you agree?” She smiled brightly. “This will look lovely on you, Jane. But if you’d rather wear your brown frock…”
Jane promptly reached for the dress. No matter if she was acting like the kind of girl she detested—someone who would primp and preen to attract a suitor. Changing her dress would please Lucinda, and Jane was nothing if not a gracious guest.
“I’ll wear it if you like.”
“Then I shall wear my pink muslin, and we will look like sisters. You are so fortunate to have grown up with two sisters. What tremendous fun.”
A twinge of homesickness slipped through Jane’s good humor. “It was fun,” she admitted. “But having a brother must also be fun. My father longed for a son.”
Lucinda sniffed. “He would not have chosen Jeremy.” She laughed at her joke, and Jane had to agree with her.
Resolving never to wear her plain frock again, Jane switched her garments for the new dress. Lucinda found a matching bonnet and handed it to her. As Jane tied the gauzy ribbon beneath her chin, she stared at her reflection. Oddly colored, half brown and half green eyes looked back at her. Beyond her eye color, there was nothing extraordinary about her. She was a simple girl who scorned parties and assemblies, preferring to live through books and music. She hated dancing, because no one ever asked to be her partner, and she couldn’t ride because no one had taken the time to show her.
She was the lump of coal among the diamonds that were her sisters. Papa had encouraged her to refine her mind. She realized now he’d meant to be kind, knowing she would never catch a husband without the blessings of a pretty face and multiple accomplishments. The most she could hope for was special outi
ngs like this, with a friend who scorned marriage despite the fact she could have her choice of suitors.
No matter the amount of pretty dresses and matching bonnets, she was still Jane Brooke, spinster. Perhaps it was just as well the colonel was a sworn bachelor with no inducement to take a bride.
Chapter Five
Lucinda danced about like a younger girl on the path toward the village, tugging on her brother’s coattails until he broke into a run. With a shriek, she chased after him. Jane wondered what Colonel Blakeney must think of such behavior, but as an old family friend, he was probably familiar with the younger Parkers’ antics. He hadn’t spoken much since they’d set out on their walk, but now they were alone, he slowed his stride and walked alongside her.
“Are you enjoying your visit here in Shropshire, Miss Brooke?”
“Very much.” She didn’t want to say her visit was all the better for meeting him. “I’d only met Lucinda once before, in Bath. My sisters were all together then.”
“You miss them, of course.”
She nodded.
He sighed in commiseration. “I have not seen my brother Edwin for seven years. We were very close as children.”
“Where is he now?”
“He ministers to the poor in India. He sends me packages with the most unusual things.” He chuckled, and she was curious to know what his brother had sent. “Our cousin Felix has spent time in India, as well. Not with the church, but as an investor. His interest, unfortunately, lies only in making tremendous wealth.” He glanced sideways at her. “I believe your sister is married to Mr. Shelbourne, of Kent.”
“Two years have passed since they wed,” she replied. His thoughts had naturally turned to her sister’s husband when he’d spoken of his wealthy cousin.
“He’s a good man. I knew him years ago from my regiment.” At his mentioning the regiment, his jaw clenched, as if he’d had an unhappy thought.
She wished she could say something clever to turn the subject of their conversation. All her days spent reading and in other solitary pursuits hadn’t prepared her for an actual conversation with a man younger than fifty. The silence grew between them. She longed to ask him about music but pushed the thought away, mortified if he should be reminded of seeing her in her night rail.
