“Sure.”
She was back in about a minute to take over.
“This smells fantastic.” His stomach growled, and she laughed.
“It does, doesn’t it? I think this is my absolute favorite meal. Except...” Lines formed between her eyebrows.
“Except?” He added another slice of moist white meat to the platter.
“Maybe pizza.”
He looked up and met her eyes. They had one of those out-of-time-and-space moments when suddenly no one else existed, when he couldn’t have looked away if he’d tried.
But the intensity faded, thank God, and animated voices intruded.
“Yeah,” he said hoarsely. “I really like pizza, too.” He wasn’t sure he’d ever enjoy it again without her and her kids.
When they all gathered around the table a few minutes later and bowed their heads to say grace, Nate thought he’d be completely happy if only this family wasn’t temporary.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
IT HAD TO be some supersensitive mother instinct, because Anna couldn’t possibly have heard the crack of breaking bone from so far away. Whatever she’d heard or didn’t hear, she found herself running onto the soccer field even while the skirmish in front of Josh’s goal was still going on. Bewildered boys stumbled out of her way. A few were exchanging high fives because the ball had gone into the goal, while others clustered around Josh, who hadn’t gotten up after his attempted save.
Wide-eyed, they stepped back to let her drop to her knees beside his son, who was curled into a pained ball on the damp grass, his desperate gaze fixed on her. At least he was conscious. This wasn’t a head injury.
“Where do you hurt?” She started touching him, testing.
“Arm,” he whispered.
“Josh?” It was the coach, who’d persuaded most of the boys on his team to sign up for the spring soccer league sponsored by the Boys & Girls Club. This was the very first practice.
When she got up this morning, Anna had been very conscious of the date: March 27. Nine months to the day since Kyle’s death. She’d almost refused to let Josh come today, but she had been so certain that was silly. And now see what had happened.
She persuaded him to uncurl enough to let them look at the arm he cradled with his other hand. He was thin enough that it didn’t take a doctor to see that his forearm was no longer straight. Unless it was her imagination, it had already started to swell.
“Do you hurt anywhere else?” the coach asked.
Josh shook his head. His face was white, his mouth pinched closed. How could he be so stoic as the coach helped him sit up?
“Ambulance?” the coach asked.
“No!” Josh burst out. “I can walk.”
“I can drive him to the ER,” Anna said, sounding steadier than she felt.
Fortunately, they were practicing on the field closest to the parking lot. Shocked and silent, his teammates stood solemnly by as she escorted him off. Anna looked around automatically, and found another mother had summoned Molly and Jenna and folded Anna’s lawn chair. She followed with the chair, talking quietly to the girls, who scrambled in. For once, Anna let Josh sit in front, where she could keep a better eye on him as she drove.
She thanked Jaden’s mother with a weak smile, closed Josh’s door and hurried around to get in herself.
Halfway there, she realized her stomach churned in part because they were on their way to Overlake Hospital. It was the same hospital where she’d given birth, twice, but now all she could remember was driving there as fast as she could go that June day after leaving her kids with another parent. Knowing the news wouldn’t be good, but nonetheless refusing to believe the worst until she was led to a small room off the ER, where a doctor waited for her. Just his face had told her. She hardly remembered what he’d said.
“We’ll be there any minute,” she said unnecessarily, since the hospital was now visible above lower buildings. Since Josh was able to walk, she turned into the parking garage. By the time they hustled into an elevator, his arm was discolored and hugely swollen. He’d been stricken pale and silent, the sight of him scaring the girls enough to keep them quiet, too.
The receptionist in the emergency room told them to take a seat, but that the wait should be brief. The minute they sat down, Anna with an arm around Josh, she took out her phone. She was listening to the ringing even before she had justified the call in her own mind.
No, she needed to let him know that they wouldn’t make it home when she’d said they would. After all, she did have his daughter with her.
He answered on the second ring. “Anna?”
“We’re at Overlake,” she told him.
“What?” His alarm was apparent.
“It’s Josh, not Molly. I’m sorry, I should have said that first. I’m...rattled.” She kissed the top of Josh’s head. “He made a spectacular dive to stop a kick and broke his arm.”
“You know that for sure?”
“It’s...obvious.”
“I’m on my way. You’re at the ER?”
“Yes, but you don’t have to—”
“Of course I do.” And he was gone.
Relief out of all proportion flooded her. Bothered by her reaction, she tucked her phone away. “Nate’s coming.”
Josh gave a tiny sniff and burrowed his face into her. He had to hurt terribly to let his mom cuddle him in public.
“Mommy?” Jenna whispered. “Will they fix Josh?”
“Of course they will. He’ll probably end up with a cast.”
He lifted his head. “I can’t play goalie then!”
“You can’t play soccer,” she had to tell him.
“But...”
A nurse in a colorful smock emerged from the back. “Josh Grainger.”
Anna rose and ushered her flock across the waiting room. “I’m Anna Grainger.”
The nurse smiled. “At least he has company.”
It seemed only minutes later that Nate joined them in the cubicle, his sheer size instantly shrinking the space. He laid a hand on her shoulder, silently sympathetic. Anna reacted with both warmth and tension. Somehow, she hadn’t become immune to even his most casual touches.
“Has he been seen yet?”
“The doctor just left to order an X-ray.”
Stepping close to the bed, he studied Josh’s arm. “Yeah, that looks broken, all right. How are you, kiddo?”
Her son visibly girded himself. He’d hate knowing he had a few tear tracks on his cheeks. “It hurts, but...you know.”
Nate squeezed Josh’s foot. “I do know. I broke my arm when I was only a little older than you. Left one, too. I was bummed because it didn’t get me out of schoolwork.”
Josh groaned. “I should’ve landed on my right side.”
Anna rolled her eyes. Catching her, Nate grinned. “Bet your mom never broke her arm.”
“That’s sexist. And you’d be wrong.”
“It was sexist,” he admitted. “Now you have to tell us when you broke a bone.”
“It wasn’t doing anything fun. My grandfather was getting shaky on his feet. I tried to keep him from falling and we both went down. I’m the only one who got hurt. He felt so bad.” Had she ever told Nate that her grandfather had died when she was a teenager? It wasn’t all that much later. Six months?
His eyes narrowed slightly, but he only gave an acknowledging nod. Turning the mood light again, he said, “So, you broke your arm being noble. Josh because he’s an aggressive athlete. Me because I was an idiot.”
Molly piped up, “Daddy climbed a tree after his parents told him not to, and then he fell.”
“An idiot. What did I tell you?”
An orderly arrived to take Josh for the X-ray. Once he was gone, Nate dug into the pockets of his windbreaker and handed out crumbled cookies from a sandwic
h bag.
“I hurried and baked these just for you guys.”
Jenna stared at him indignantly. “Mommy baked these!”
He grinned and ruffled her hair. “I know she did. I’ve never baked cookies in my life. I’m pretty sure if I tried, they wouldn’t be this good.”
“Uh-uh,” she agreed, around a big bite.
Even Anna gobbled her first one gratefully, although why she was so hungry she couldn’t have said. A glance at the clock on the wall surprised her. Soccer practice would still be going on. Even if Josh hadn’t gotten injured, she and the kids wouldn’t be sitting down to lunch at home yet. When she finished the cookie, she saw Nate’s amusement.
“You really didn’t have to come,” she said. “I thought... I don’t know.”
His expression changed. “You’d rather I hadn’t come?”
“I...” She couldn’t make herself lie. “Of course not. I feel guilty, that’s all. You were working.”
“I’d have been insulted if you hadn’t called.”
Anna opened her mouth to say something, but couldn’t think what she should say. You’re not Josh’s father? I’m afraid I’m becoming too dependent on you? I never considered not calling you? Instead, she took a page out of his book and nodded.
And then, because his face remained expressionless, she reached for him. The hard line of his mouth softened, and he enclosed her hand in a warm grip.
“I’d like to find out how bad the break is and what they’re going to do, but then I can take the girls home if that would help more than having us all keep hanging around.”
“Thank you.” Her eyes stung. The adrenaline she’d been running on had drained away and left her shaky. “Let’s see what the doctor says before we decide, okay?”
Josh was wheeled back in only a few minutes later, followed by the doctor. Seeing Nate, Dr. Sloane introduced herself and seemed to assume he was Josh’s father. She showed them the X-rays, which made Anna wince. Both bones in the forearm had buckled and looked torn halfway through.
Nate wrapped an arm around her.
“This is what we call a greenstick fracture,” Dr. Sloane explained. “They’re most common with kids, because their bones are softer and more flexible than adults’.”
She planned to make sure the bones were aligned and then splint his arm as a temporary measure. “We can’t cast it until the swelling goes down, which may be as much as a week.”
“How long will the cast be on?”
“Likely at least six weeks. We’ll probably do repeat X-rays to see how Josh’s arm is healing. Rarely, we need to keep the bones immobilized for as long as twelve weeks.” She patted Josh’s good arm. “No spring sports for you, I’m afraid.”
He struggled to sit up. “But if I don’t play, someone else will take over as goalie!”
“You know that won’t happen,” Anna began.
“It will!” he said furiously.
“You’re too talented a player for that to happen,” Nate said firmly. “What’s more, you have plenty of years of soccer ahead of you if you keep playing. You’ll make up a couple of missed months in no time. It happens to every good athlete.”
“That’s true,” the doctor assured him. “A couple of days ago, I treated a Mariner baseball player with a lot more serious break than this. He had to have surgery, and he won’t be able to rejoin the team until June or July. He isn’t happy, but he’s taking it in stride.”
“Oh.” Josh subsided. “I guess I can still run and stuff.”
If stuff meant skateboarding, no, he wouldn’t be. But Anna didn’t see any reason to say that now.
“Not for a few days,” Dr. Sloane said with a smile. “So, we’re ready to splint that arm. Your mom or dad can come with you.”
“I’ll come,” Anna said quickly.
“Then I’ll take the girls home, if you’re okay.”
She nodded. He spoke a few quiet words to Josh, then ushered the girls out. All Anna’s worries stayed intact, but she was glad she’d called him, anyway. And she couldn’t take her eyes off his tall form until he went through the doors at the end of the hall, a reassuring hand on each girl’s head.
* * *
THE NEXT SATURDAY, Nate concentrated on the financial information displayed on his laptop. Instead of going into the office, he had stayed home. He’d been doing that a lot more than had been his habit, even on days like this when Anna was available to watch the kids. His attention span might not be as long, but he could take breaks and go downstairs to talk to her, tease Molly or hit a Nerf baseball with Josh. He liked the trade-off and felt no hankering to escape.
Last weekend, Nate had counted another month off on his mental calendar. Nine months since Kyle Grainger died saving Molly’s life. He didn’t feel guilty anymore; at least, he didn’t think he did. Still, there was a twinge in his chest because, yeah, his absence that day had had profound consequences.
That made his impatience for Anna to get the grieving done even worse. More inexcusable.
And when in his life had he waited for any woman or girl like he was for her?
Anna’s voice pulled him from his momentary brood. He looked up from his laptop to see her standing in the door. Her timing was impeccable. Even in jeans and a sweater knit out of nubby, thick yarns that should hide her figure, she looked good enough to make him want to shove the computer aside and pull her onto his lap.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” she began tentatively.
He blanked on what he’d been working on before his thoughts wandered. Oh, yeah. He’d been studying the pro formas—the financial projections—for a start-up he was as yet undecided on.
“No problem,” he said.
She still eyed him in a way that made him wonder what she saw on his face, but then she drew a deep breath. “I hate to ask when I know you’re working, but is there any chance I can leave the kids here while I grocery shop?”
He frowned. “Sure, but I could go to the store for you.”
It turned out she liked to select her own produce and didn’t totally rely on her list, either.
“I can work downstairs while the kids are playing,” he said.
“They’re hyper. If only it weren’t raining.”
“What? You’d throw them out the door?”
She laughed. “Something like that. Okay, I’ll get ready to go.”
Ten minutes later, she was gone. He sat on a stool at the breakfast bar, laptop in front of him again, but before he could become engrossed, his mother called.
“Are those happy shrieks I hear?” she said cheerfully.
Nate smiled, watching as the trio raced past. He cringed when Josh bounced off the back of the sofa but stayed on his feet, uninjured. “Yes, it is. I’m in charge while Anna grocery shops.”
“She’s been a blessing, hasn’t she?”
A mixed one, he couldn’t help thinking. Happiness and torment, all in one. “Yeah,” he said. “How’s Dad?”
“He had another crisis last night.” She no longer sounded cheerful, and Nate realized he’d heard the underlying strain from the beginning. “They kept him in the ER for several hours, but they’re confident he’s just having panic attacks.”
“He doesn’t believe it.” This had been going on for months.
“I think he does until the next time he has chest pain. They won’t even give him nitroglycerin, because he doesn’t need it.”
“Maybe they should give him sugar pills,” he suggested, half-serious.
His father had suffered a major heart attack last May. He’d had a five-way bypass and a month later insisted he was as good as new. But his subconscious wasn’t as convinced, it appeared. The next apparent heart attack came in September. Nate hadn’t even made it to the hospital before his mother called to say it was a false alarm.
They’d left ear
lier for Arizona than they had the year before because Mom was convinced he just needed to get away, to relax. Nate could have told her his dad didn’t know how. The driven personality he and Adam shared had come from their father. He’d pushed them hard as they grew up, but Nate suspected some of it was genetic.
“I’m sorry,” he said now. “Dad’s too stubborn to believe any damn doctor.”
She sighed. “Especially one he’s sure can’t be of drinking age. I know any cardiologist has to be well into his thirties, at least, but this one did have one of those boyish faces.”
Nate laughed out loud.
They were planning to return to Seattle in just a few weeks so his father could see his own cardiologist. As if that would help.
They talked for a few more minutes before he called Molly to say hi to her grandma and grandpa, after which Nate got back on to talk to his father.
“There’s something going on they’re just not seeing,” he insisted. “Telling me I’m having a panic attack? I’ll have the last laugh.”
“When they do the autopsy, you mean?”
“There’s no call for you to get morbid,” his father grumbled.
“Dad, are you taking the antidepressants Dr. Richards prescribed?”
Silence.
“Take them.” Nate made sure his father knew he meant what he was saying. “You’re wearing Mom down. For her, you need to try to overcome this.”
“Yeah, yeah.” His father sighed deeply. “I’ll do that. At least then I’ll die happy.”
Nate was still laughing when he set his phone down and focused on the open laptop. Now what had he been doing?
Just as he began to focus, he realized he was hearing dance music and wild giggles coming from the family room. Surfacing, he thought, Wait. Where’s Josh?
He had a panicky minute—speaking of panic—before he found the boy in the formerly empty room designed to be a home office. Josh sat on the floor, leaning against a wall, despondency in every line of his body.
Nate hoped his heart rate settled back into a normal range soon. He didn’t chew the kid out, though. Instead, he asked, “Bored?”
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