by Rosie Batty
22 July 2013: Magistrate orders Greg to have access to Luke on weekends at football, cricket or Little Athletics – only when others are present. Rosie breaks down at court.
25 July 2013: During counselling, Luke says he is not afraid of his father, but worried about the safety of his mother.
September 2013: After another court hearing to tighten the intervention order, Rosie breaks down and tells Child Protection she is at the end of her tether, requests they take out a protective order for Luke.
16 October 2013: Child Protection close file on Luke Batty.
10 December 2013: Rosie takes Luke on five-week holiday to UK to visit family.
17 January 2014: Greg fails to appear at court to face child porn charges.
24 January 2014: Greg’s housemate applies for an intervention order against Greg.
28 January 2014: Warrant issued for Greg’s arrest – for breach of bail conditions.
5 February 2014: Police contact Rosie asking if she knows Greg’s current address or whereabouts. She doesn’t. That same day, by coincidence, Greg calls Rosie, in breach of IVO. She elicits his address and passes the information immediately to police.
8 February 2014: Greg attends Luke’s cricket match. Later that week, Greg phones to tell Luke he was living with people he does not like and was upset that Luke had not contacted him on his return from the UK.
12 February 2014: Greg attends Luke’s cricket training at Tyabb oval and kills him. Greg is shot by police while confronting them with a knife and dies early the next morning in hospital. At the time of his death, Greg was facing eleven criminal charges and had four warrants out for his arrest.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
The journey of grief is not easy. Not for me and not for those sharing my journey. I thank everyone who has been able to weather the storms and stick by me no matter what.
To my brothers, who share my pain and understand my loss like no one else. To my dad, who would do anything to help me and take away the pain.
To Michelle, Sam and the wonderful Richardson family for their open door, home-cooked meals and for being true friends in every sense. To Mel for her big heart. To Ben the obnoxious painter who has always known what to say and how to make me laugh. To Lee for being able to stick around when the going was so very tough. To Flinders Christian College for helping me with Luke’s funeral and for making sure it was such a very special day. To the Tyabb Cricket Club for their support and helping me with all the arrangements for Luke’s funeral. To the Salvation Army, friends and everyone in the community for the home-cooked meals, toilet rolls and never-ending compassion that helped me in those very early days. To everyone for the cards, poems, flowers and letters. Knowing how much you all cared and were there to support me through those first few months of intense grief was overwhelming, but showed me that humanity knows no limits. To Lisa for helping me when I’ve been at my most vulnerable, for sharing some amazing experiences and helping me gain my confidence.
To Charandev for being such a wonderful person and being there through Luke’s inquest. You are such a gentle caring soul and I feel so very privileged to have been able to get to know you. To Justin for being my right hand and my confidante – I could never have achieved what I have without you. To my new friends in the family violence sector – I have learnt so much, and without your professional insights and support I would not be where I am now.
To Sue, Mike and David for believing in me and joining me in Canberra to share that very special evening when I became Australian of the Year. It was an evening we will never forget.
And to Bryce, whose friendship I treasure and sense of humour I value. I am so very pleased you chose to help me write my book.
RESOURCES
The pernicious thing about family violence is that victims of abuse accept the behaviour that they have been conditioned to believe they deserve. Their self-esteem is so completely worn down over years and years of abuse – be it physical, psychological, financial – that they sometimes barely even recognise they are in an abusive relationship.
The bottom line is that violence is never okay. You don’t deserve it, and whatever your partner might tell you, you are not the cause of it.
What is family violence?
Too many Australian women and children experience violence every day. Domestic or family violence is one of the most common forms of violence against women and their children in Australia, and can take a number of forms, including:
• physical – for example, slapping, hitting, choking, stabbing
• sexual – for example, rape, harassment, being forced to watch pornography
• emotional or psychological – for example, isolating the person from friends, family or culture, threats against children, threats to commit suicide or self-harm
• economic – for example, withholding money, controlling family finances, taking out loans in a partner’s name without consent
• stalking – for example, repeated following, watching or harassing.
The cost of violence against women and their children to the Australian economy in 2009 was $13.6 billion. It’s calculated to rise to $15.6 billion by 2021–22 without the right preventative action.
Getting help on domestic violence for yourself and others
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 000 in Australia or 111 in New Zealand immediately. Help is available from many services in Australia and New Zealand. The following family violence services are gateways that can put you in touch with the best service for your needs, or can provide a listening ear.
Australia – National
1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)
Available twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
www.1800respect.org.au
The National Sexual Assault, Domestic Family Violence Counselling Service is a free and confidential telephone and online service for any Australian who is experiencing or has experienced domestic or family violence and/or sexual assault. Translating and Interpreting Service: call 13 14 50 and ask them to contact 1800 RESPECT.
National Relay Service: for callers who are deaf or have a hearing or speech impairment: visit www.relayservice.com.au and ask them to contact 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). TTY/voice calls: phone 133 677 and ask them to contact 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732).
Speak and Listen users: phone 1300 555 727 and ask them to contact 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732).
Luke Batty Foundation
www.lukebattyfoundation.com.au
Helping women and children affected by the trauma of family violence.
Our Watch
www.ourwatch.org.au
Our Watch has been established to drive nationwide change in the culture, behaviours and attitudes that lead to violence against women and children.
Women’s Legal Services Australia
www.wlsa.org.au
This is a national network of community legal centres that specialise in women’s legal issues. They provide advice, information, casework and education to women on family law and family violence matters as well as provide advice on more general legal issues.
The Men’s Referral Service
1300 766 491
mrs.org.au
The Men’s Referral Service provides anonymous and confidential telephone counselling, information and referrals to men to help them to stop using violent and controlling behaviour.
What Men Can Do
whatmencando.net
This site provides information on how men can respond to and prevent men’s violence against women.
Kid’s Helpline
1800 55 1800
www.kidshelp.com.au
Australia’s only free, private and confidential, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged between five and twenty-five.
ANROWS
www.anrows.org.au
Australia’s National Research Organisation for Women’s Safety Limited (ANROWS) is an independent, not-for-profit comp
any established as an initiative under Australia’s National Plan to Reduce Violence against Women and their Children 2010–2022.
Lifeline
13 11 44
www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Facts---Information/Domestic-Abuse-and-Family-Violence
Among its crisis support services, Lifeline deals with domestic and family violence.
APPS
Daisy
Daisy connects women who are experiencing or have experienced sexual assault, domestic and family violence to services in their state and local area.
iMatter
An app to help young women understand the warning signs of abusive and controlling behaviour in relationships as well as promote healthy self-esteem.
Australia – States and Territories
AUSTRALIAN CAPITAL TERRITORY
Domestic Violence Crisis Service ACT
02 6280 0900
www.dvcs.org.au
NEW SOUTH WALES
Domestic Violence Line
1800 65 64 63
www.domesticviolence.nsw.gov.au
NORTHERN TERRITORY
Dawn House
08 8945 1388
www.dawnhouse.org.au
QUEENSLAND
DV Connect Womensline
1800 811 811
www.dvconnect.org/womensline
SOUTH AUSTRALIA
Domestic Violence Crisis Service
1300 782 200
Domestic Violence and Aboriginal Family Violence
Gateway Service
1800 800 098
TASMANIA
Family Violence Response and Referral line
1800 633 937
www.safeathome.tas.gov.au/services
VICTORIA
Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria
03 9486 9866
www.dvrcv.org.au
The Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria (DVRCV) provides training, publications, research and other resources to those experiencing (or who have experienced) family violence, and to practitioners and service organisations who work with family violence survivors. The website is an excellent resource for anyone seeking information or help.
Safe Steps
1800 015 188
www.safesteps.org.au
Safe Steps is the 24/7 Family Violence Response Centre that offers a comprehensive range of intervention, support and advocacy services for women and children experiencing violence and abuse from a partner or ex-partner, another family member or someone close to them.
WESTERN AUSTRALIA
Women’s Domestic Violence Helpline
08 9223 1188 or 1800 007 339
New Zealand
Women’s Refuge National Crisisline
0800 REFUGE (0800 733 843)
Available twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week; call toll free from anywhere in NZ. (If you’re in Auckland you can also call 09 378 1893.)
www.womensrefuge.org.nz
Provides information, advice and support about domestic violence as well as help in a crisis.
Shine
0508 744 633
9 am to 11 pm, seven days a week.
www.2shine.org.nz
Domestic Abuse Helpline for anyone living with abuse. The website includes information on how to stop someone knowing you have been seeking information online about domestic violence.
Family Violence Information Line
0800 456 450
9 am to 11 pm, seven days a week, with an after-hours message redirecting callers in an emergency.
www.areyouok.org.nz
Provides self-help information and connection to appropriate services.
OTHER RECOMMENDED WEBSITES
www.familyservices.govt.nz
The Family and Community Services site has a directory of social services in each community.
www.justice.govt.nz
The Ministry of Justice site has information about protection orders.
www.nnsvs.org.nz
The National Network of Stopping Violence site has a directory of local services.
PHOTOS SECTION
The eldest of four, I was born and raised on a farm in Nottinghamshire, England, with fields for a backyard and farmyard animals for pets. Here I am with Nanna and Grandpa Atkin on the day of my Christening in 1962.
Mum and Dad with my little brother Robert (left) and me in the front garden of our farm cottage.
Pretending to play the piano with my brothers James (left) and Robert.
Mum on holiday at the beach. She died suddenly aged thirty-seven in 1968 when I was just six.
Smiling for the camera, aged around four.
Me (second from right) with my friends at St Joseph’s Convent in Lincoln, which I attended until I was sixteen.
Working as a nanny in Austria (here aged twenty-one) gave me the travel bug, and a few years later I made the trip to Australia.
Soon after I arrived in Melbourne in the 1980s I met Leonie. We’ve been friends ever since. Here we are enjoying ourselves at a fancy-dress party.
On 20 June 2002 I gave birth to my beautiful boy, Luke Geoffrey Batty. Luke’s dad, Greg Anderson, wasn’t my partner at the time but he was always part of Luke’s life.
Luke with my darling Nanna Atkin just months before she died, aged 100.
Luke aged six months in a Liverpool United jersey, being initiated into family footy fandom – with my brothers Terry, Robert and James during a visit to the UK.
With Leonie, giving Luke his first haircut.
With Dorothy the goat – Luke loved animals as much as I do.
Luke aged about four. He was a typical little boy – clever and brave on the outside with a soft, compassionate centre.
Aware that Luke was an only child, I made sure he spent plenty of time with other kids, and Leonie’s boys, Daniel and James, were like big brothers to him: from left, Leonie, Daniel, James and Luke.
Luke enjoyed a laugh and was loved for his ability to entertain. Among his presents on Christmas day he received a stuffed toy of SpongeBob, one of his favourite characters.
Luke and my then partner David in Arguments Yard in Whitby, UK. David was an important person in Luke’s life, but they did enjoy an argument.
Luke at a Flinders Christian College athletics carnival. He loved his sport.
Luke hamming it up at his SpongeBob birthday party.
Luke and me with my parents when they visited Australia.
Luke Geoffrey Batty, 2002–2014
My son, Luke, was killed by his father on 12 February 2014. The next day I spoke to the media assembled at my front gate, the first of countless appearances I’ve made to discuss family violence. Photo Nicole Garmston/Newspix
Two days after Luke died, students from his school, Flinders Christian College, paid tribute to him at Tyabb Cricket Ground. Photo Alex Coppel/Newspix
Luke’s funeral was organised by Flinders Christian College, to which I am eternally grateful, especially principal Max Cudden. The whole community turned out to say goodbye to Luke on 21 February 2014. Luke’s coffin was bright yellow, his favourite colour, and was decorated with his much-loved SpongeBob toy. Mourners wore a splash of yellow, which symbolised, for us, joy, intellect and energy. All photos by Fiona McCoy
With the then Victorian Police Commissioner Ken Lay and other campaigners, including Fiona McCormack from Domestic Violence Victoria, on the 2014 Walk Against Family Violence in Melbourne. Two days after Luke died I had met with Commissioner Lay and he has since become a close ally in my campaign for change. Photo David Caird/Newspix
Speaking at a forum on family violence in Melbourne in September 2014, I urged people to consider it when they cast their vote in the forthcoming state election. Photo Norm Oorloff/Newspix
Photo National Australia Day Council
Photo David Caird/Newspix
In October 2014 I was named the Victorian finalist for the 2015 Australian of the Year Awards just days after winning the Herald Sun Pride of Australia Courage
medal. I wondered whether I was worthy but was determined to keep speaking out.
At a National Museum exhibition in Canberra featuring a doll given to me by my godmother when I was little and dressed in clothes knitted by my Nanna Atkin. Each Australian of the Year finalist chose an object of special personal significance for the exhibition. Photo Jason McCarthy, National Museum of Australia
On 25 January 2015 I was named Australian of the Year at an awards ceremony at Parliament House. In my speech I dedicated the award to Luke and made a commitment to educate the community and ensure family violence victims receive the respect, support and safety they deserve. Photo National Australia Day Council
With Prime Minister Tony Abbott and the other award winners, Drisana Levitzke-Gray, Jackie French and Juliette Wright. Photo Stefan Postles/Getty Images
With National Australia Day Chairman Ben Roberts-Smith VC MG. Photo National Australia Day Council
Speaking at a candlelight vigil in Melbourne in memory of those who have died as a result of family violence and organised by Safe Steps Family Violence and Response Centre. Photo Amanda Summons Photography and Safe Steps
With Police Commissioner Ken Lay in 2014. In early 2015 we were named chair and deputy chair of a national advisory panel on family violence. Photo Tony Gough/Newspix
With artist Christopher Pyett and his portrait of me, which was entered in the Archibald Prize and hung in the Salon des Refusés. Christopher chose yellow for the background in honour of Luke and said that the portrait was the most moving and spiritual work he’d ever done. Photo Barbara Pyett
Speaking with author and Full Stop Foundation patron Tara Moss at the All About Women conference at the Sydney Opera House in March 2015. Photo Prudence Upton
