by M. J. Scott
“I know how to blend,” he said. “I found out about you, didn’t I?”
He had a point. But blending in in a few border borough drinking holes and gaming hells was different from actually doing what I did.
“Templars aren’t entirely unusual in the border boroughs,” I said. “But you won’t get far in the Night World. Not unless you’re intending to wear gloves the entire time.”
“Tattoos can be hidden.”
Glamoured, he meant.
“Plenty of Night Worlders can see through a glamour,” I retorted. “It’s too risky. The instant it was discovered that I was working for the Templars, my career would be over.” Or I’d be dead. But I didn’t want to actually say that out loud. “I’d never get another commission from the Blood or the Beasts.”
He leaned forward suddenly, eyes narrowed. “Do you work for the Beasts often?”
“Why would I tell you that?” I studied his face for a moment. “Is it the Beasts you need information on?” If so, he’d managed to surprise me. I would’ve thought the Blood were the bigger problem in the Night World right now.
He leaned back. “Why would I tell you that?”
“I thought you wanted to hire me?”
“Does that mean you’ll do it?”
“Go spy in the Night World for the Templars?” I shook my head firmly. “I’m sorry, but I’m not giving up my livelihood for you.”
“You’d be helping a lot of people.”
“I already help people. I have people relying on me and the money I make. People who might die without it. So don’t give me your moral higher ground. I don’t believe in the greater good.”
“Never?”
I met his gaze. Judge me all he wanted, he wasn’t going to change my mind. “The greater good has never lifted a finger to help me. Individuals matter.”
“The greater good is made up of individuals.”
“Yes, and I get to pick which of them I choose to care about. I’m sorry, but my answer is no.”
“And if I don’t give you a choice?” His voice was still calm but suddenly ominous.
I’d survived in the Night World long enough to recognize a politely worded threat when I heard one. I’d also learned that, most of the time, it was best not to act threatened. “Just how would you do that?” I asked.
“I can throw you in a cell.”
“Really?” I tried to sound bored. “Last time I checked, it was difficult to spy on the Night World from a cell in the Templar Brother House. Locking me up hardly helps you.”
“You’re hardly helping me now,” he said, one hand rubbing the cross on the back of the other.
“Anyway, what grounds do you have for locking me up? Being uncooperative isn’t a crime. Or do you Templars enjoy locking up the innocent?”
His eyes went even icier and his brows drew down, two pale slashes of lightning above the storm. “This isn’t a game, Miss Everton. We’re fighting for survival. It’s important.”
“So is my life,” I snapped. His intensity had me somewhat rattled. Were the Templars actually losing ground? Or was there another reason for his urgency? I didn’t know why but my gut told me he wasn’t telling me the truth. Not that I blamed him for that. But it didn’t make me any more inclined to do as he asked.
“I can protect you.”
“Didn’t we already cover this? How am I meant to explain my new Templar companion?” I didn’t bother trying to keep the scorn out of my voice. It was insanity to believe what he proposed would work. “Shall we make everyone believe that you’re infatuated with me and can’t stay out of my bed? Because that’s about the only explanation I can think of that might have any sort of credibility.” I expected him to recoil at the idea, but instead his expression turned speculative. And maybe, just maybe, there was something more than professional speculation in those eyes. Something hotter.
Something that could get us both in a lot of trouble.
Me and my big mouth.
“I was joking,” I said hastily. “Don’t even consider it.”
“It’s a reasonable idea.”
I could almost see the wheels turning in his head. Leading him down precisely the wrong path. “Exactly how much did you have to drink last night? It’s a terrible idea. Nobody would believe I could lead a Templar around by the nose. I’m hardly irresistible.” I gestured down my body with my good arm.
His eyes moved slowly up and down my body. “Granted, what you’re wearing isn’t exactly seductive, but I’m sure you have no trouble making men do what you want.”
No. Usually I didn’t. And I was careful not to get involved with men who didn’t want to play by my rules. Which was why I took my lovers from among the Beast Kind when I could. The younger ones were generally good looking, eager, and inventive in bed but knew ultimately that they would pair up with another Beast. Which prevented them doing stupid things like falling in love with me. One or two of the humans had done so, when I’d been less careful with my choices.
None of them had prepared me for the complexities of trying to convince a Templar knight that playing my lover was a monumentally stupid idea.
“What I want, in this situation,” I said with some asperity, “is for you to see sense.” I ignored the part of me that was piping up with “no, what I want is to take the Templar out and show him exactly how I make men do what I want.” That part was too dumb to recognize that this was the sort of man who made women do what he wanted. He wouldn’t be so easy to discard or walk away from. So there was no way we’d be starting anything.
Not to mention that dragging a Templar around in my wake was another quick way to destroy my career.
“I am being sensible. You said we needed a cover story and I can’t think of a better one.”
“And what would be the reason for the great Guy DuCaine suddenly losing his head for a half-Fae Night Worlder?”
He arched an eyebrow. “I’m the great Guy DuCaine?”
I bared my teeth at him. “Oh, don’t pretend to be modest. You must know that you have quite the reputation. It’s amazing you’re not eight foot tall and carrying a flaming sword, the way they carry on about you.”
“I leave the flaming swords to the mages.” He tapped the sword at his side as if to prove his point. “So it’s not completely impossible. Even Templars are corruptible, give the right incentives. We’re only men, after all.”
“Be that as it may, it doesn’t change the facts. You are the Guy DuCaine. They’d be calling me Holly the Great if I could pull that off. No one will believe it. Somehow I can’t see you pulling off crazily love struck.”
The eyebrow arched higher and his blue eyes darkened. “Is that so? Why not, pray tell?”
“You’re . . .” I waved a hand at him . . . trying to think of something that sounded less insulting than morally uptight . . . “good,” I finished lamely.
“Templars aren’t monks, you know.”
“There’s a difference between not being a monk and being able to get people to believe that you’re crazed with lust.” I caught his eyes, trying to get him to drop the idea. “We’d have to be seen in public together doing loverlike things. Holding hands isn’t going to be sufficient. Not in the sorts of places we’d need to go.”
“Unless you’re actually proposing that we have sex in public, I think I can handle it.”
“Oh, really?” I said, exasperated. “You think so? Do you know what goes on in some of the Blood Assemblies and the theater halls and the private balls? Do you know how a woman might greet her lover in such a place?”
He cleared his throat “I—”
“Let me tell you,” I continued before he could say anything further. I sat upright, swung my legs out over the edge of the bed. If I couldn’t talk sense into the man, then maybe I could scare him off. Show him he was getting in over his head.
“First, you have to imagine me wearing something a lot more . . . revealing than this.” I traced a line across my breasts, just above my nipples. Nipples that
tingled as his eyes followed the path my finger took as if drawn there by a magnet.
“Something cut down to here. My hair up, so everyone can see.” I took a deep breath and stood. “Say that you were seated somewhere as you are now. And I came upon you, my lover.” I moved closer until my knees almost brushed against his, waiting for him to flinch, to draw away. To stop me.
He didn’t move. Didn’t speak. I wasn’t entirely sure that he was breathing. I wasn’t entirely sure that I was. There was a rush of blood to my head, making me suddenly dizzy. “If I was your lover, in such a place, then I’d probably do something like this.” I lifted the edge of my nightgown, thankful that I’d had the foresight to don underwear beneath it. Then I swung my leg over his and straddled him. He still didn’t move, eyes burning into mine.
Nothing for it now. I was going to have to keep going with the charade. He was warm beneath me, the wool of his trousers soft against my legs. I wrapped my arms around his neck—not easily done with a cast—summoned my best wicked smile, and said, “Hello, lover,” and then, hardly knowing what insanity possessed me to start this little charade, leaned forward and pressed my lips to his.
For a moment, I thought I’d won as he stayed still beneath my lips, but then, oh, then, his arms came around my waist and suddenly I was pulled closer toward him, hard against him . . . hard against parts of him that were suddenly hard against me. My head spun and swooped and his mouth opened beneath mine and I learned I’d been right as the taste of him filled my mouth.
Delicious.
Dangerous.
This man was trouble. This man would make you do what he wanted for one more taste of him. This man was suddenly, definitely in control of this kiss and driving us both to a place that we shouldn’t go.
This man I wanted.
This man I couldn’t have.
Part of my brain screamed at me to stop. But instead I tightened my arms and drank him deep, knowing that it was possible that this would be the only taste of him I ever got. Because sooner or later he would come to his senses and let me go.
And the world might never be quite the same again.
I wasn’t sure who finally broke the kiss, wasn’t sure which one of us first drew back, both of us gasping. But it was Guy who lifted me from his lap, deposited me gently on the bed, and then turned and walked out of the room.
GUY
“Should’ve dropped her,” I muttered as I slammed through the door to the tunnel that joined St. Giles and the Brother House. Dropped her or dragged her in for questioning and thrown her in a cell there and then.
No. Dropping her would’ve been simpler.
Not that I’d had any choice in the matter. Throwing myself off Gray’s back and toward the falling figure had been pure instinct and not a little luck. And because of that, things were getting complicated.
I quickened my pace, hurrying toward peace. Toward the place that still seemed to simplify things when I stepped through its gates.
I could think in the Brother House. Could plan. With thick stone walls to shut out the outer world, I could remember what was important and forget how it felt to kiss Holly.
That mouth.
Hell’s balls, she was right. I needed another plan. One that didn’t involve me posing as her lover or getting any closer to her than strictly necessary. Because there was little doubt that if I did so, I would actually become her lover in very short order.
Which would be simply unholy fucking insane.
I had sworn vows to protect and defend. Which meant I couldn’t afford distractions. Even though the order didn’t ask us to swear to celibacy, I’d found over the years it was much simpler to pretend they had.
Near the juncture of the tunnels, I almost ran into Simon.
“Where’s the fire?” he asked after a tangle of sidestepping narrowly avoided a collision.
I needed a lie. “Noon services begin soon. I’ll be late.”
“Indeed,” Simon said. His expression was vaguely amused. “Perhaps the question then is where are you coming from? Did someone else get injured?”
“No. I didn’t patrol last night.”
“That doesn’t really answer the question.”
“No. It doesn’t.” I went to step around him and he moved to block me.
Then he smiled. “You went to see Holly, didn’t you?”
No way in hell was I answering that question. For one thing, I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell Simon who Holly was. The fewer people who knew, the better. At least until I decided exactly what I wanted to do with her.
Bad choice of words. My brain suddenly conjured up a number of possibilities. None of them involved spying. Or clothing.
Hell’s balls.
“I’m late for services,” I said, and moved again. This time he let me past, though his grin was more than eloquent on the subject of what he thought of my retreat. I took two long steps and then stopped. “Keep a close eye on her.”
“On who?” Simon said, still grinning. “On that girl you won’t admit you saw? Why, was she feeling unwell?” His smile blinked out suddenly.
“No. But make sure you do.”
“Why?”
“Just trust me.” I turned to walk on.
“Guy.”
The tone was deadly serious now. I turned back. “Yes?”
“You’re going to tell me sooner or later.” Simon’s face was grim, all trace of levity wiped out.
“Don’t be so sure. For now, just trust me. After all, I trusted you about Lily.”
Simon’s eyes lit. “Are you saying you feel about Holly the way I felt about Lily?”
“I am not cow-headed enough to fall in love with a girl I barely know,” I said. Lust, maybe, but love? No. What I felt for Holly right now was not love. And I was well schooled in ignoring lust. “I need you to trust me.”
This earned me a head shake. “I’ll trust you. But you should be careful too. After all, we don’t always choose who we fall in love with.”
“Stop talking about love. Just because you’re settling down doesn’t mean I’ve changed my mind on the matter.”
“You can’t keep fighting forever.”
I set my teeth. This was a subject that I didn’t care to discuss. “Why not?”
“Well, for one thing, you’re getting older.”
Right now I didn’t feel terribly old. In fact, I felt very much the way I had at fifteen when a friend’s older brother had taken us both to a brothel and introduced us to sex.
Intensely aware of the heat in my body, of the need to touch, to hold.
To take.
Of course, not long after that, I’d realized that I was really meant to become a knight. But I still remembered those first few heady weeks of being completely fogged by the urges of my body, unable to think of anything but the softness of female skin and the heat of—
Fuck. I was doing it again. I really needed to get back to the Brother House. Noon services would help me chase her from my mind.
“I have to go. Watch her,” I said again, and left Simon standing in the tunnel.
HOLLY
You need a plan, Holly girl.
It wasn’t the first time I’d had the thought since Guy had left. Yet every time I tried to turn my mind to how to get myself out of this particular dilemma that my big mouth seemed to have gotten me into, it drifted instead back to the man himself rather than the problem he represented.
It was impossible to see him purely as an obstacle when I could still taste his kiss.
Maybe, just maybe, I didn’t have a problem. Maybe Guy leaving so suddenly was a good sign.
I sighed softly, staring at the stark white walls. I knew a ridiculously overoptimistic thought when I had one. Guy DuCaine was a Templar. A warrior. He was not the kind of man to give up easily on something he wanted. He thought I could help him. He’d be back.
Which meant when he returned, I needed alternatives to offer, to send him on his way.
Having him pose as my lo
ver would be a very, very bad idea.
But could I afford to keep refusing him? He knew the truth about me. If I refused, I was sure he’d be hurrying me away from St. Giles and everyone he was so protective of as quickly as possible.
Which would bring Cormen down on my head with the wrath of hell’s furies. And Lady knew what the geas would do to me in the meantime.
The phrase “caught between a rock and a hard place” was finally making sense to me.
I settled back on the bed to study the problem from all sides.
Pros.
If I agreed to spy for Guy, I would gain his trust. Presumably, this would also mean I would gain Simon’s. And Simon’s trust could be key to discovering his secret, if worst came to worst, and I couldn’t figure out a way to thwart Cormen. Also it was possible that in spying for Guy I would discover information that other people might well be interested in. Paying customers.
Cons.
Working for the Templars. Which would likely ruin my career if it were ever found out. Or shorten my life span. There was no way I could do it without someone at my back.
Perhaps, before Lucius had vanished, when things had been calmer, there might have been a few others in my business who I would’ve trusted enough to hire them as part of a team, but that wasn’t an option now. It was every man and woman for themselves in the Night World right now, and I couldn’t think of anybody other than Fen who I would trust not to decide that they might just make more money selling me out. And I was not going to drag Fen into this mess.
Which left me with Guy’s offer of protection. Tempting. If a Templar couldn’t keep me alive through all of this, then nobody could.
But try as I might, there was no other way I could think of to explain a Templar at my side.
So I either had to say no and find my own way into Simon’s good graces or say yes and think of how to convince everyone that a Templar had fallen for me. All while avoiding ending up dead or letting myself do something stupid like act on the attraction I felt for the brother of the man I was likely going to have to betray.
Easier to stick your hand into a fire and pluck out a live coal without getting burned.
It all twisted around and around in my mind until eventually I fell into a troubled sleep.
