Sacred Desires (Samuel #1)

by Joanna Mazurkiewicz

  "Come with me. I need you. The feathers are in the basement,” he repeats. Then he leaves the room.

  When I place my feet on the wooden floor, a cold shiver moves through my body, but I follow him through the long corridor, both of us moving quickly. I manage to glance at the large clock in the living room and notice that it's after three in the morning. My heart skips a beat when Dimitrious opens the door to the basement and we climb down. I'm right behind him and I have no idea what to make of it.

  Once we get to the bottom, my legs get a little wobbly and my pulse speeds up. It looks like Samuel created a cellar underneath the house, filled with strange art and daemonic skulls. In the centre of the room there is a large display cabinet, the snowy-white feathers folded neatly together inside.

  Dimitrious is looking down at it without saying a word as I approach. The feathers cannot be touched unless he smashes the glass. For some reason I have a bad feeling about being in this cramped space with the man that intimidates me so much.

  Dimitrious narrows his dark eyes that glitter in the dim light and he places his large palm on the top of the glass.

  “Please, show me again what I want to see," he says and his eyes, filled with raw heat, dart down to mine. My mind doesn't want to believe that he might also be turned on, so I think about something else, like my toes and how nice they would look manicured.

  "But what if it won’t work? What are we going to do then?"

  "We will worry about that then, Poppy. I'm not a patient man, so please don’t make me force you to it,” he says with a deep husky whisper.

  The last thing I want is to disappoint him. I really don't know what is wrong with me. I was so indifferent about other people for most of my life, but I want to please Dimitrious, make him want me. I cared about John but never as intensely as I do for the Watcher who is standing next to me.

  His eyes narrow and I'm scared of his anger, so without further hesitation I place my hand over the glass, next to his.

  Our surroundings shift in an instant and we find ourselves in a large open-plan room. It looks like it’s a ballroom with wooden floors and large mirrors on the walls. I immediately spot the younger Dimitrious, standing silently in the corner. Behind him is a woman, the one that he made love to in the earlier vision. She looks pale, her eyes wide as she hides behind Dimitrious, who looks furious. A few metres away from them, there is another angel. He must be a Watcher or an archangel. He is broad, tall and very beautiful with long white hair. He isn’t just another Fallen. He has this familiar glow, like Dimitrious, and large snowy-white wings.

  "I can’t believe that you revealed yourself to her," says the other Watcher, moving closer and looking at the human with intensity, scratching his jaw.

  "It's nothing to do with the code or the Divine One," Dimitrious barks.

  "So it's true then? You are sinning like the others?"

  "Dimitrious, please go with him. You will get yourself into more trouble. This isn’t my world. Please," Monique begs, trying to step away but he brings her closer. This doesn’t look good for the Watcher. He has revealed himself to a human, he went against the rules like Samuel. Then something else happens, something completely unexpected and terrifying at the same time. One second Dimitrious is listening in, the next he is behind the angel. His younger version wraps his enormous arm around the heavenly creature’s neck so fast that I can’t keep up. In one swift movement he turns his arms, and the other angel’s neck snaps. I close my eyes, shaking my head with disgust.

  Monique screams as the body of the angel falls on the ground. His eyes are open but deep inside he is dead. Young Dimitrious stares at the body for several seconds, breathing rapidly. Monique is trembling and moves away from him as he approaches her. I gasp, feeling incredibly sad that it had to come to this. Dimitrious killed one of his brothers because he didn’t want to lose the woman that he obviously loves. She starts sobbing when he cradles her closer to his body.

  "It had to be done. He was a demon in Watcher form. No one knows about us and I sensed his darkness," he says, kissing away her tears.

  The room around us starts to spin and we are back in the basement, still holding our palms on the glass. Dimitrious has his head down, and he’s breathing irregularly. I can’t move, knowing that this couldn’t be. There had to be more, others must have found out about his crime, about him protecting a human for love.

  Dimitrious’s breaths get heavier, more laboured with each passing second. My own internal voice screams at me to walk away, that I shouldn’t be involved in his pain, but I can’t seem to move. Maybe a month ago I would have left, not caring about the way he suffers, not caring about his feelings, but now I’m a different person. Instead of abandoning him I move closer, inhaling his scent, and place my hand on his back. Tingles start in my toes and make their way up, an incredible heat is sweeping through me, suffusing my cheeks.

  "Dimitrious, this memory—it might not be real," I whisper, leaning closer. His heart thumps through my veins and I don't know how but I hear it. Warmth radiates from his skin, and a shiver of pleasure rocks between my legs and spreads quickly through my thighs and stomach.

  “You are precious, Poppy," he says, turning around. His eyes are heated black, consuming and frightening in their ability to make me lose all control. Our bodies touch and the deep arousal starts climbing its way through my trembling limbs. Then, just like it’s the most natural thing for him, Dimitrious parts his lips and leans forward. I'm ready to pull away, to run, but Dimitrious’s eyes are burning me, enhancing every part of me. We kiss, and his lips move over mine, fast and greedy. My brain shuts down and I want to push him away but something inside me snaps and I wrap my arms around his neck and bring his strong body down to mine. Our lips are all over each other, our tongues tasting what’s forbidden, what doesn’t seem to be exciting but instead is explosively blissful.

  Deep and penetrating heat hits me, increasing the aching pulsation between my legs. Dimitrious moves his hands down below my waist and my mind opens up another possibility, pouring out images of us together panting in climax.

  “Poppy?”

  I hear a voice and within a moment Dimitrious pulls away from me, not looking like himself but Chris, the human from Samuel’s party. I follow Dimitrious’s eyes and gape with terror. For a moment I think that I'm having a hallucination because Samuel is standing by the stairs, staring straight at me.

  "Samuel?" I ask in disbelief, taking a step away from Dimitrious. My brain goes fuzzy and I part my lips to explain, but nothing comes out of my mouth. It’s like I can’t even speak or breathe in and out.

  Samuel shakes his head, locking his posture.

  "You are just like the rest of them, liar. Just admit to me now that this whole thing was always about the money. Wasn’t it?”

  "What the hell is he doing here?” I hiss towards Dimitrious who is smiling, looking completely relaxed, ignoring Samuel’s question. He is still in his human form. Then he moves behind me and places his hands on my shoulders. I let go of a small gasp, craving more, while my mind tries to figure out what the hell is going on here. Samuel should be away, in Britain.

  "This is not how it looks," I manage to say.

  "Shut up, Poppy. Yes, Jackson, we are in love. She was lonely, so she needed someone to fill the gap. It took me a long time to realise that she’s the one and has always been," Dimitrious says with a cheerful but serious tone. I narrow my eyes, wondering what the hell he is talking about. It looks like he’s also lost his mind. #

  Samuel roars and then charges towards me, but Dimitrious, who is still in Chris’s body, is already holding a sword in his right hand. I scream, but I'm too frozen in shock to get out of his way. Instead I shut my eyes, waiting for pain to come or for a blow, but nothing happens.

  When I open my eyes, Dimitrious has Samuel pinned against the wall. The sharp metal blade is digging into Samuel’s neck. Rhonda is standing by the stairs, her eyes moving from Dimitrious to me. It looks like she also h
ad been invited, appearing out of nowhere.

  "Well done, Poppy. Samuel has fallen in love with you, so now he can’t turn back to his normal self. He’s simply a human and without his black wings he can’t escape death—his destiny.”

  I look back at Dimitrious, whose face starts to shift. His eyes and hair transform back to dark, his body bulks up and Samuel’s eyes widen further, his face going white and sullen. I want to ask questions but Rhonda is shaking her head, telling me to be silent and watch. Did all of them stage this whole thing to lure Samuel here? Was I so dumb not to see it?

  Dimitrious pulls the sword away and takes a few steps towards me.

  “Get lost, Dimitrious. You won’t have me, not just yet!” Samuel roars and then, like the swing of a magic wand, everything starts moving in slow motion. Something small and metallic flashes in Samuel’s hand. It takes me a moment to realise that he is holding a gun. Every second is like a minute, slow and sluggish. Rhonda moves forward, Dimitrious laughs, and then I see the gun being fired and neither of them noticed it. My whole body launches forward. I make a split-second, probably very bad decision to take the bullet that belongs to Dimitrious. I have no idea what pushes me to do this, but I just act, not even thinking about the pain and consequences. My brain shuts down and I'm no longer thinking about my own miserable life.

  I throw myself in front of Dimitrious, who pales. I feel the crushing pain that shoots through my stomach before I land on the hard floor. The air is punched out of my lungs and the whole world goes black for a moment.

  Is it possible that I took a bullet that was supposed to kill Dimitrious? Me, Poppy Kowalsky, a woman who has never done anything for anyone? For the next fifteen seconds or so I hear screams and Rhonda’s squeaky voice somewhere close. I can’t move; the pain is surreal, burning every inch of my skin.

  When I open my eyes Samuel is on the floor next to me and Dimitrious is crashing his large fists into his face. Blood splashes everywhere, spilling over me. I'm falling into oblivion, knowing that this time it's the end—I'm dying. I can’t take this escalating pain.

  Dimitrious stops, his face flushed. His eyes are enormous and scary. "Who am I? Talk, Fallen! What’s happened to my memories?"

  Samuel moans, shaking his head back and forth, still spilling blood.

  Rhonda is all over me. "Stop moving, Poppy. I have to press the wound, so you won’t lose any more blood."

  Samuel spits, showing his bloody teeth. "General, you're ruined. The guy upstairs hates your fucking guts. You belong to hell, scum. I killed humans for fun but you betrayed everyone!”

  Samuel is coughing on his own blood and Dimitrious strikes him with a knife that is suddenly in his right hand. A quick stab in the stomach and the Fallen screams in agony like a banshee. Rhonda is talking to me but I can’t seem to focus on her voice. The pain is shooting through my limbs, overwhelming me. I don't know if this whole thing is happening for real or is just an illusion, a real nightmare.

  Blood is all over Dimitrious and he keeps punching Samuel harder, crushing his bones. The odour of blood courses through the air. Death is right by me, slowly stealing my last few breaths. My shitty life is ending.

  "Who am I, Samuel? Who is that human woman I keep dreaming about? Tell me and I might not cut off your wings!” Dimitrious roars, pressing his small knife to Samuel’s neck. I taste blood in my mouth, and the pain escalates, numbing my throat and spine.

  “She’s your whore sinner. You were an archangel, the general, but you jeopardised it all for humanity. The others are after you, Grigori," spits Samuel. "Your protector knows, she knew all along!"

  Dimitrious grabs Samuel by the collar and brings his bloody face to his.

  "Dalal knows what’s happened to me?" he repeats.

  "She knew from the very beginning," Samuel rasps back. I want to close my eyes and die in peace. I don’t want to hear any of this.

  Then I hear Dimitrious’s roar. He throws Samuel back on the floor and gets up. I see him lifting his beloved sword and dragging it towards Samuel. His eyes are enormous and there is death in them. I just want to hold on a few more seconds to see if he is going to kill Samuel.

  "Acta deos numquam mortalia fallunt!" Dimitrious roars and his sword starts illuminating, gleaming with bright red light. The bloody Fallen starts moving, screaming like he is being torn apart by demonic powers.

  "Well, well, well. Who do we have here?" says a voice.

  Pain multiplies, spreading like hot lava. I want to scream but no sound comes out of my mouth. There is another person in the basement. The Divine One himself? No, that’s impossible. The man’s pupils are red and he has wings, large but smaller than Dimitrious’s, smoky black and shiny. Apart from the deadly eyes, he is the most beautiful man that I’ve ever seen; tall, lean with a perfectly shaped face, nose and cheeks. I look at him, seeing bright white light that radiates from his skin, calming me down and pulling me towards him. I want to reach out and touch him, stare into his red thrilling eyes. Samuel coughs with blood, trying to roll to the side, but he is too weak to move. The beautiful man dressed in white squats next to him. His smoky, shiny hair is cut short and when he smiles, the room brightens up, sucking away the death and pain. My mind starts racing and I reach out to touch him, feel the warmth and radiant light. Nothing about him is bad.

  "Samuel is yours, Apollyon. He should be on the list," barks Dimitrious, breathing hard, his chest rising and falling in rapid movements. He steps away from the beautiful man like he is afraid.

  Apollyon narrows his red eyes and then glances at me briefly with a smile. I hear a laugh. "The human. I thought that you didn’t use them anymore. This one belongs downstairs."

  “The human woman shouldn’t concern you. She is mine. Take the Fallen and leave!"

  "Fine, fine, I'm going, but I’ll keep an eye on her. She has so much potential and I want her," replies the beautiful man that Dimitrious calls Apollyon. I'm panting with pain, forcing myself to keep my eyes open, desiring to touch him. Samuel roars with agony, but Apollyon touches him and they both start burning. Red flames embrace them both. The heat reaches me and I know that I have a few more breaths before I lose my consciousness. The pull is strong and all of a sudden I want to go with them, experience the radiating energy, touch the light.

  The beautiful man sends me a wink before he disappears with the bloodied Fallen. I don't know what happens after that. I hear voices, but I keep passing in and out, waiting for someone to finish me off.

  When I part my eyes open slightly, something is wrong. I don't know how much time has passed, but the pain is still there, radiating through me faster than light.

  "She's as good as dead, boss."

  It's Rhonda. In her mind she has already crossed me off. I'm dead, so maybe that beautiful man will come back for me. I don't want to die like this.

  Then I feel a body next to me and dark eyes meet mine. It’s Dimitrious, but he looks so calm and happy. His eyes are gentle, all the anger and sorrow gone.

  "I think I owe you this, Poppy," he says, moving his palm under my neck and lifting me gently, so my head is level with his. I want to tell him that I'm sorry for being such a coward, for not listening, forgetting about the pain and dying, but I can’t speak.

  Then something surreal happens. Dimitrious cradles me to him and plants a kiss on my lips. For a long blissful moment I forget about the pain. Dimitrious’s lips are moving gently over mine, and his tongue slips into my mouth, caressing and exploring. My brain shuts down, the pain eases off and I kiss him back. The heat evaporates through me, healing the wound in my stomach. This can’t be just a dream; this is happening for real. He sucks on my lower lip and I moan before everything goes silent and black again.

  Epilogue

  It's been exactly four weeks since I was shot and nearly died in that surreal basement.

  Rhonda has been popping in to see me, but her visits are more about me than the business. I’m a bit nicer to her than before. We talk a lot about her and Dimitri
ous, but I’m still too shocked to bring up Samuel and find out exactly what happened to him.

  It turns out that Dimitrious saved my sorry arse again. Maybe it was because I threw myself in front of him to save him, or maybe because I did what I was paid to do. Samuel had fallen in love with me. Dimitrious had figured this out much sooner than I thought. Rhonda mentioned that he had asked her to bring Samuel back to his house in France to complete the task.

  It took me days to understand what happened between Dimitrious and me. I kept asking myself if he had staged the kiss, if he faked his emotions. I didn’t want to believe that it was all because he wanted to get to Samuel. For some strange, unexplained reason I missed seeing Dimitrious. The emotions that I felt during the time we spent together were explosive and real. Sex with Samuel was just an act; I had to be convincing. When Dimitrious kissed me, it felt like he desired so much more.

  Rhonda told me that Dimitrious had given me some time off to recoup my energy. His last kiss, right before I was dying, was the one that healed me. I didn't even have a scar from the bullet. The skin on my stomach was smooth, but I never wanted to go through that kind of pain again.

  For the first few days I felt lost and confused. I had no idea if Dimitrious would let me go back to my old life, or if he was just giving me some time out. Slowly my memories about John and my life in Bristol became no longer relevant. It seems my old life didn't really matter. I had a lot of time to think about what I really wanted. I went out for walks, ate and slept, and took care of Charlie, aspiring to something that I never really had. Apart from Rhonda, there was no one else that I could talk to. Each day I waited for him to come back, to visit me again.

  I wake up one morning feeling different. I am staring at the ceiling for several minutes, thinking about other Fallen that are out there, about how exciting and scary my last task was, when Charlie jumps on me. He has grown a lot in the past few weeks.