by Vivian Ward
“I made plans for us this weekend, but since you ditched me for dinner, I’ll tell you about them now.”
As she continues blabbing, all I can think about his how Toni hugged me and how much I miss stuff like that with her.
“Lucas? Are you listening?”
“Yeah,” I lie. “Sorry, I’m just tired. I’m on my way home right now, but I can’t go anywhere this weekend. I promised my friend that I’d help finish the job that we’re working on.”
She’s quiet for a minute. “Oh,” she finally says. “Then maybe some other time.”
“Yeah, that’ll work,” I say as I pull up to my house. “Listen, I’m home so I’m going to take a shower and hit the hay. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Bye Lucas,” she sighs into the phone. I can hear the disappointment in her voice, but I’d rather help Toni than go out with Alicia any day.
Chapter Twelve
Toni
Unlocking the door to the laundromat, I’m ready to start another long day of hard labor, but I know it’ll pay off. I can’t wait for the day when I can finally unlock this door so I can invite customers in, but with the way this place looks right now, I’ve got a lot of work cut out for myself.
Almost all of the walls are gone and the old wiring hangs alongside the cobwebs where the walls once were. All that’s left is the support beams and the old appliances that I need to have carted out of here. Those are a big reason why I paid off my credit card. Once this place is finally up to par, I’m going to buy new washers and dryers because the machines that are here must be close to twenty years old.
Standing in the front of the laundromat, I think about how I tried to hug Lucas last night and how he barely returned the favor. It was just a friendly hug, and it killed me that he didn’t just grab me and pull me right into him like he used to, but I understand why.
There’s a lot of past between the two of us and he’s with that new girl now. For a minute, I wonder if she knows that he was here helping me all night, but I can’t let my thoughts get the best of me. Right now I need to sweep up some of the debris on the floor so that today can be productive. There’s only one wall left that needs to be torn out and then we can start on rebuilding the place.
Reaching into my pocket, I grab an elastic and pull my hair back into a makeshift bun before I sweep the floors. Thank God Lucas emptied the trash before he left last night because those cans were filled to the brim and heavy as hell. There is no way I could’ve lifted them myself today, and I’ve already got one half-way filled up with the piles I’ve gathered from the floor.
It’s almost 1:30 before I hear the bell chime on the door and am pleasantly surprised when I see Lucas with two of his friends.
“Hello,” I say, wiping the sweat beading up on my brow.
“Hey,” he says, setting down a drink carrier with coffees. “I brought these to help warm us up since the place doesn’t have any heat.” He points to his friends, “And I bought these guys because this one’s going to help me with the electrical while this one works on the gas.”
“Oh, thank you!” I say, gulping some of the coffee.
If he’s trying to earn brownie points, he had me with just helping me, but to bring his friends? That took a lot of thought and effort on his part to get him down here. He’s always been so thoughtful, which was one of the things I’ve missed most about him.
“This is Chad,” he points to his friend who’s going to help him with the wiring as he’s introducing us.
“Nice to meet you, Chad,” I shake his hand.
“This is Nate. He used to work for the gas company.”
“Nate, so nice to meet you,” we shake hands. I look to Lucas, “So what do you want me to do? Anything I can help with?”
“Nope, you just go ahead and work on whatever you were working on and we’ll get started on the rest. Hopefully, we’ll have the leak finished by this evening and you can call the gas company on Monday to have it turned back on.”
“You guys are so awesome. I really appreciate this so much. Let me know if you guys need or want anything.”
The guys nod and follow Lucas into the closet area where the gas and electrical wiring come in from the street. Meanwhile, I empty the half-full trash can so I can start knocking out the last wall.
It’s around dinner time before I finally tear out the last of the wall and I’m starved. I’m sure the guys are too, so I ask everyone what they want to eat.
“Is anyone else hungry? I was going to hit the burger joint down the street. Can I get anyone anything?”
“Yeah, if you don’t mind,” Chad says. “I’ll take a cheeseburger with fries and a Coke.”
“Sure, not a problem. Nate? Do you want anything?” I ask him.
He looks at Lucas and Chad before answering. “Um, can I get a cheeseburger with onion rings and a Coke?”
“You got it,” I smile at him. “Lucas? How about you?”
“I’ll take a double cheeseburger with—,”
“Lettuce, pickles, and mayo?” I cut him off.
Smiling he cocks his eyebrow and says, “Yes, exactly.” The two of us stare at each other like grinning goons before I grab my keys to make a run for some food.
“Wait up,” Lucas calls after me. “I’ll come with you and help you carry it.”
“Yeah? Okay, let’s go,” I say.
On the way to get food, the car is filled with an awkward silence for about half of the ride before I can’t take it anymore. “You never did tell me what you wanted for your side,” I say to him.
“I’m still getting over the fact that you remembered what I order. Which side do you think I’d pick?”
“Well, since we’re going to the greasy spoon diner, I’d say probably cheese fries. Am I right?”
“You would be if my hands weren’t so gross. I think I’ll take an order of onion rings because they sounded good when Nate mentioned them and they’re not as messy.”
“Ah, good choice,” I say, pulling into the parking lot.
The two of us get out of the car and go inside to order the food. While we’re waiting, we sit at the stools in front of the stainless steel counter.
“I remember when we used to come here for dates. You still look as cute as you did back then,” he winks at me.
“Whatever,” I laugh. He’s not very subtle with his flirting, that’s for sure. But that’s Lucas, he’s always just said what was on his mind for the most part. “And yep, we’d always get a chocolate shake with our food. They have the best chocolate shakes.”
“Yeah, they do,” he nods in agreement. “I know we don’t have time for one right now, but how about we come back when we’re finished working and get one later?”
I’m shocked. Like, want to fall off the stool shocked. I want to ask him if he’s asking me on a date, but that would be dumb. He has a girlfriend, but he’s still so damn hot. How can I turn down 200 pounds of solid muscle with a sexy tan?
“Sure, if your girlfriend won’t mind,” I give him a sideways glance. “And you’re still pretty hot, too, you know?”
A loud sigh escapes his lips. “How many times do I have to tell everyone that Alicia is not my girlfriend?” He gives me a stern look and leans in close to me. “She’s not my girlfriend, and I know. That’s why I’ve dated all the chicks.”
He laughs with that last part, but I know he’s not joking. Lucas always had girls flocking to him, practically dropping to worship the ground he walked on. That’s nothing new.
“Oh, so her name is Alicia? And really? Because she kind of looks like your girlfriend,” I say. “She came to the AA meeting with you and seemed to be kind of playing the girlfriend role.”
“She hangs around a lot and tries to help me keep my shit straight, but we aren’t a thing; never have been. I wish people would stop saying that.”
“So this non-girlfriend,” I specify the non part and say it real slow. “Does she know that you’re helping me today? And would she be okay with
you asking me to hang out after we’re done working?”
Leaning back on the stool, I cross my arms and bat my eyelashes at him, urging him to go on because I’d really like to know the answers to these questions. I’ve been wondering about her so much since the day I saw her at his first meeting. I get this weird vibe like maybe they are together, but they really aren’t. It’s hard to tell, but one thing I know is that Lucas would never lie to me.
“You know I can’t lie to you, Toni. Yes, she’d probably get jealous, but that’s because she wants a relationship with me and I won’t give her one. She’d be pretty pissed if she knew that I was helping out my sexy ex.”
I wonder why he won’t give in and make things official with her, but that’s none of my business so I don’t ask even though I’m dying to because I’m scared to let him know that I still have feelings for him and that I fucked up the best thing I ever had.
Wait….did he call me his sexy ex?
“And does she know that you’ve been with me yesterday and today?” I ask quietly.
“No,” he shakes his head. “I told her that I was helping a friend, but I didn’t say which friend so I could spare myself the grief of her wrath.”
“The grief of her wrath?” I bust out laughing. “That’s the funniest shit I’ve heard you say in a long time. The Lucas Hunt I know takes no shit and doesn’t give a shit what other people think.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “You’re right about that, but it’s true! Look, she might not be the person I want to be with,” he looks deep into my eyes, “but she keeps me from doing a lot of dumb shit and making bad mistakes.”
Was he talking about me when he said he’s not with the person he wants to be with? I’m dying over here. I’ve kicked myself in the ass a million times over as I’ve thought about what we had and what I wanted back, but I thought we were beyond repair. The abortion took such a toll on our relationship and then I started drinking—he started drinking—and I didn’t think he’d want to be with me ever again. It was too hard to talk about, the wounds were too deep and too fresh.
“Like what?” I ask him, genuinely interested in how she keeps him out of trouble. It’s better than asking all of the thoughts that are swimming through my mind because I’m scared to know the answers to those questions.
I’d like to ask him if he’s thought about us getting back together as much as I have or if he misses me as much as I miss him. I still have one of his old shirts that he left behind that I kept around. It’s tucked safely away in my pajama drawer so nobody will see it and think I’m a complete loser.
“For starters, she helped me get sober enough to make it to my meetings. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have been at the first one.”
“How are the meetings going for you? I meant to ask you before but I’ve been so pre-occupied with the laundromat.”
Chapter Thirteen
Lucas
Sitting here talking to Toni is like talking to an old friend, probably because she is one. She makes it so damn easy to talk to and it feels good. I’ve missed her so much.
“I didn’t want to go to them, honestly, but Alicia made me so I wouldn’t completely lose my business and ruin my life.”
“And now? What do you think since you’ve been to a couple and have hung out with some of the members?”
The fucked up thing is that since I’ve been hanging around Toni, I haven’t wanted to drink. It’s been a few days since I’ve even thought about a drop of alcohol and it feels pretty damn good. It’s like she’s my cure-all.
I only drank to numb the pain and emptiness that I felt in my life but when I’m around her, those things don’t exist. There has never been a doubt in my mind that she’s the one. Toni is the girl for me, not Alicia.
In fact, Alicia had a very detailed agenda of things for us to do this weekend because she thinks I need something to keep me busy; a distraction. She was disappointed when I told her I had a project that I was working on a with a friend, but she understood.
I asked Toni to have a milkshake with me tonight for a few different reasons. One: I don’t want to deal with Alicia tonight, two: I don’t want to sit around thinking about drinking, and three: I want to win Toni back over.
“Since I’ve been hanging around you, I haven’t wanted to drink,” I confess. “You’ve shown me that I can turn my life around, and being around the others has also given me some inspiration.”
“Good, but you still need a sponsor because life isn’t always popcakes and rainbows,” a smile creeps across her face. “Are you going to let Mon be your sponsor? She’s really good. She’s kept me from fucking up quite a few times.”
“I’m not sure,” I answer. “I don’t know how I feel about telling a stranger all of my pitfalls, specifically a stranger who is your friend. Mark gave me the twelve steps. I’m going to start working on them first.”
“Order up,” the waitress comes from behind the counter with three plastic bags filled with styrofoam containers. “Do you guys need napkins, ketchup, or salt?”
“All of it, please,” I say. “Especially the napkins, we’ll need lots of those.”
The waitress dumps copious amounts into the bags and wishes us a good day. During the ride back to the laundromat, we make more small talk about AA but I’m not interested in it. I’m more interested in knowing if she’ll meet me tonight for milkshakes. I know it sounds dumb inviting a woman out for milkshakes but considering the fact that we’re both recovering alcoholics, it’s better than asking her out for a drink.
After we wolf down lunch, we all get back to work. While Nate continues working on the gas line, Chad and I strip out most of the old wiring and replace it with updated wiring that’ll ensure the place doesn’t burn down. I’m still amazed that nobody’s done any work to this place since I was a kid. You’d think at some point in the last 30 or 40 years, someone would’ve replaced a thing or two here and there.
By the time the night sky turns into a foggy indigo ocean filled with silver glittering stars, we’ve finished up with the wiring and Chad’s working on the last of the gas leak.
“You’ll be good as new come Monday,” I say to her as I put away my tools. “Tell the gas company to go ahead and turn you back on.”
Dragging the trash can across the floor, she makes a weak attempt to take it to the alley. “Thank you so much! That’s awesome. I can’t wait to have heat and hot water again.”
“It’s not a problem,” I say, closing my toolbox. “Now, let go of that thing and let me take it out for you. It probably weighs double your weight.”
“I’ve got it,” she insists. “You’ve already done so much for me. Seriously, I can never repay you.”
Squinting my eyes, I tilt my head to the side. “Ehhhh, yeah, you could but I don’t think you will.”
Her face drops and she deadpans. “How much do you want? I can pay you guys some.”
“Get out of here, crazy. First, let me take out the trash. Even if you dragged that thing outside, you wouldn’t be able to lift it. Second, I don’t want your money. I told you, they owed me a favor. I was more talking about you taking me up on that offer for the milkshake that I made at lunch time.”
She laughs. Long, hard, and loud. “You were serious? Do you see me?” She waves her hand down the length of her body. “I look hideous.”
Smiling, I say, “I know.”
“That is so messed up!” she laughs again. “My hair is messy, my clothes are trashed, and I’m covered in dirt.”
“So am I. Who’s going to see us? Or do you have a boyfriend lurking somewhere?”
I’ve been wondering if she’s seeing anyone or is in a relationship, but I haven’t had the opportunity to ask until now.
“No,” her face scrunches. “I’m not worried about anyone seeing me, but I look like shit.”
“I happen to like shit,” I smile at her. “You look fine. So, will that be a yes or a no? Because I can’t keep working on things for you without some sort
of payment.” No sooner than those words leave my mouth, I realize I probably sound like the biggest pervert. “I mean the milkshake, nothing more. Just a milkshake.”
“Okay,” she laughs, trying to smooth back her fly-aways from the haphazard bun that’s dangling off the back of her head. “We can go out for a milkshake, but you have to promise not to hold my looks against me for the night.”
“Deal. Now I’ll take out the trash and by the time I come back, he should be finished up with the gas line.”
After we get the laundromat closed up, the two of us jump in my truck and head back over to the greasy spoon diner that we visited for lunch. We used to come here quite a bit for dinner when we were an item, and all of those memories begin flooding my mind as we sit in one of the empty booths.
“What can I get you tonight?” The waitress asks, armed with her pen and order pad.
“One chocolate and one Oreo milkshake, please,” I order. Toni smiles at me.
“I can’t believe you remembered I always got the Oreo shakes from this place.”
Smiling back at her, I lean in and nod, “I can’t believe you remember the way I still like my cheeseburgers.” Her cheeks flush as she glances away.
“I guess there are some things that you just don’t forget,” she looks into my eyes.
Stretching out across the table, my leg brushes hers but she doesn’t pull back and I don’t move either. “I’m really proud of you. That took a lot of guts to buy that place in the condition it’s in and flip it. It’s sort of what Mason does with old houses, but you took on this project solo with no experience.”
“Yeah, it was pretty stupid of me, huh?” she asks as she checks out the new flair on the walls. They’ve changed the place around quite a bit since we were here over six years ago.
“Some could say stupid, but I say admirable. You’ve always been a tough girl.”
“I thought that’s exactly what you hated,” she says. “I remember when we first broke up. I heard you were seeing that girl that used to wait tables at that bar on the Southside. Um, Brittany or something like that? She was a complete mess and was always looking for guys to tell her what to do.”
