by Amber Kizer
“A cat?” I asked.
Tony nodded. I wondered if that was why Minerva was in this form. Juliet had a foundation of comfort from a feline. I could tell from Tens’s speculative expression he was thinking the same thing.
Tony shrugged. “We made it work. I know my other parishioners sometimes suffered, but I felt my first obligation was to you. There were times when I felt like you were handed to me directly by God for my devotion, my trials. And then I was called to New York for the weekend. I left you with the same nun I had trusted in the past. Before I departed, the Bishop told me they were shutting down the school and dispersing us all. There was scandal with another priest. It was ugly, and I decided to leave and take you with me, after I returned from New York. I was actually planning to go find Tyee.” Tony shrugged.
“But you didn’t,” Tens said.
“No.” Tony stood and paced. “When I returned, chaos abounded. My nun friend was dead, a heart attack. You were gone. The other nuns said a woman had shown up claiming to be your grandmother. When they were skeptical, she produced a signed statement from me saying it was okay to release the baby, that’d I’d been delayed in New York. She left an address and contact information. Of course, I hadn’t given her any of it.”
“Was she the same woman?” I asked.
“As the one who rode off with Roshana? Based on what the nuns said, yes.”
“Did you check the contact info?” Tens asked.
“Bogus?” Rumi added.
Tony nodded. “The building was empty and cleared out. I searched for you, Juliet. I’ve never stopped praying for you. And I prayed every day that God would send an angel, an army of angels, to guide you, protect you, help you survive until I found you again.” Tears rolled down his face. He knelt at her feet. “Please forgive me for not doing more. If I’d taken you to New York with me, it wouldn’t have happened. If I’d made your mother tell me, I could have helped her, too.”
I shook my head. “Nocti are more powerful than you realize. If they were involved, you’re lucky not to be dead.”
Juliet fingered her braid. “You really kept looking for me?”
“I did. I pay a private investigator to look for you—he monitors online transactions and records. Anything that your name might appear on. I can’t believe it’s been a decade. To be in the same state, hours from you, and now to be so close and never see you. I am so sorry for what you’ve endured. Maybe if I had been here or stayed with the church? I don’t know.” He reached a hand out toward Juliet and let it hang there. “I hope that someday you’ll forgive me.”
Juliet lightly touched his fingers. “I remember you. I remember my mother. You’ve given me that. And you tried to find me.” She nodded. “If you’d known I was at DG, would you have come to get me?”
Minerva rubbed against Tony’s hands and shins.
“By all that I consider holy, I swear to you, I never would have left you there. Or anywhere. I truly thought of you and your mother as my family. I’m not going anywhere. As long as you want me in your life, I’m here and I’m sticking. We’ll fight the bad guys and rescue your friends.”
“There’s nothing to forgive, T.” She gave him a small twist of her lips.
“You remember!” Tony laughed. “She used to call me T all the time!” he told the rest of us.
I felt as if I was watching Juliet heal, a fraction perhaps, but knitting her heart back together just the same.
Rumi slammed down the rest of his coffee. “I hate to bring us into the now, but there are two bantlings we have to find. How do we rescue them?”
The seriousness of our current situation turned all of us into frowning, furrowed worriers.
Tony stood, looking at Tens. “Your grandfather would tell us to turn and fight.”
Tens nodded. “Agreed.”
Rumi rubbed his hands together. “I packed quite a punch in my youth.”
“I don’t think it’s going to be a fistfight.” I couldn’t resist a smile. Custos jumped with her paws against Rumi’s chest and pushed him back into his chair. She licked his face with such verve it made all of us laugh.
The phone rang, reminding us all of what we were waiting for. It was closest to me. Rumi shrugged around Custos sitting in his lap. “The note said to pick it up.”
I did, while Tens placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed reassurances. “Rumi’s Glass Studio. How may I help you?” This cracked up Rumi and made me smile too.
Until I heard “This is Kirian. Can I talk to Juliet?”
I leave these words in the margins of a book most people will never think to open. It is my hope you’ll never need them because I will be able to tell you all of this in person. But Ms. Asura wants me back and I can’t risk her knowing of you. Not when your gifts are like mine.
—R.
CHAPTER 43
Juliet
Meridian held out the phone, but Rumi quickly pressed the speakerphone button so we could all listen.
“Juliet?” Kirian’s voice sounded scared and determined.
My head pounded. My stomach rolled. I wanted to curl up and try to assimilate all the information. My mother loved me. As much as I’d prayed to know that, it was hard to believe it was real. She loved me.
Kirian repeated, “Jewel, talk to me.”
“How did you know I was here?” I asked. Meridian was holding the question up on a piece of paper. I was grateful she was able to think. I didn’t have the strength to do this alone.
“I don’t know where you are. Ms. Asura dialed the phone. You need to come to me. I can explain everything.”
“So explain. I want to talk to Nicole. Put Bodie on the phone. Or Sema.”
“Not on the phone. I can’t. Please, Jewel? I love you. I’ve always loved you. We can be together. Live the rest of our lives. Travel the world. Just like we talked about. Don’t you remember?” His words rushed together in excitement or desperation, as if he too was being told what to say.
I remembered a lot of things, and if I’d trusted myself more I would have realized the little boy who had loved me was gone. I didn’t know this Kirian at all. “Where are Bodie and Sema? Nicole?”
“Who’s Nicole?” he asked.
He sounded genuinely puzzled. “Where are they?” My voice cracked at the top.
“Calm down. Bodie and Sema are fine. You can see for yourself.”
Meridian touched my arm. The paper said, Where?
“Where?” I asked.
“Follow the Wildcat from DG to where it merges with the Wabash,” he said.
“Can’t we meet at DG? Or the coffee shop Ms. Asura took me to?” I asked, hoping for something more public.
“Hold on.” It sounded like Kirian put his hand over the receiver and talked to someone. We all exchanged looks. Tens and Meridian whispered over the paper. I waited.
Finally, Kirian said, “No, you have to meet me along the creek where the waters meet.”
“Let me talk to Bodie,” I demanded.
“Juliet, trust me. I’ve never done anything bad to you. Meet me at midnight.” Kirian clicked off.
“Why midnight?” Tens queried.
I shook my head. I didn’t even know what day it was.
Meridian ran to the calendar hanging on Rumi’s fridge. “They think tomorrow’s your birthday.”
“But it’s not,” Rumi said.
“They don’t know that, though.”
“At least we know something they don’t,” Tony said.
Rumi’s phone rang again. This time it was Joi, saying Enid had been released from the hospital and was coming home with her.
“Where’s the bathroom?” I asked. I needed to throw cold water on my face and gather my composure or cry. Whichever came first, the other was sure to follow.
Meridian said, “I’ll show you.”
I followed her down the hallway. I heard the men start talking about plans and strategies. I felt as if I were hovering above the whole scene as a spectator.
“Wait.” I turned to her. “Stay? Please?”
She nodded and sat down on the lip of the bathtub.
I had never been alone, not really. There was always someone needing something. Since Mini and Nicole had arrived, the brief moments of alone under the stairs or by the creek were golden gifts, but only because I knew they were there. “I don’t know how to—what to do.” I leaned against the sink, turned the water to cold, and splashed my face, hoping the chill might ease the ache in my head.
She stayed silent.
I stared at my face in the mirror. The bruises turned my eyes into hollow sockets. My hair was lank and dull. My skin looked as if I’d never seen the sun. Vanity was never something I clung to—I’d have been eaten alive by the need—but I certainly looked as bad on the outside as I felt on the inside. “What am I again?”
She blinked. “A Fenestra. You help the dying get to heaven, the afterlife.”
“How?”
“We look human until someone is dying and then we are the light they see and move toward, through us, to transition.”
“I’m not human?”
“Not all of you. It’s like a recessive gene that only works if you’re born on the solstice or equinox—I used to think only the winter solstice, but now I guess all the seasonal midpoints are possible.”
Pieces of my life started to fit together. All those times I’d held the hand of a dying person and saw things, knew things I shouldn’t have. “Then it wasn’t my imagination, was it?”
“What?” She leaned against the wall like she was afraid I’d spook again. Couldn’t really blame her for the caution.
“I’ve started to fall asleep and daydream when they’re dying. I taste things, know recipes and foods that I shouldn’t. Do you?”
“You’re probably fainting from the strain of the energy trying to use you. But you’re not a full window until you’re sixteen. So souls probably push. Have you been standing at windows?”
“No, nothing like that. I dream of my mom, or cities. Mostly I can taste their favorite foods and know how to make them.”
“Has it always been like that?”
“No. I mean, I’ve always cooked, but only in the past year, since Mini showed up. It got worse when Nicole came, but I thought that was because I could relax more—”
“Minerva is more than just a cat. I think she transitioned the souls with you to keep you safe.”
I sat down on the toilet, my legs turning to jelly. “Is Nicole dead? Could she have died in the tornado?”
Meridian handed me a fluffy towel. “I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t think she’s with Ms. Asura and Kirian, though.”
“She believed in angels,” I said, thinking about Nicole’s necklace.
“You don’t?”
“It’s hard to believe in anything that let that place exist.”
“You’re part angel. And you’re real. I know it’s a lot to take in, but do you think maybe Nicole was your—”
I waved her off. “So Ms. Asura wants to trade me for the little kids. Or Kirian wants me to leave with him? Why are they doing this?”
“There are Aternocti—Nocti for short—that take the dying to hell. They want to turn us into them, or kill us. They think that tomorrow is your birthday and it will open the window. They may try to convince you to join them nicely, but if that doesn’t work, then they’ll probably try to take you someplace and force you to transition.”
“And you’re saying that Ms. Asura is one of those Nocti?”
“Yes. And I think Kirian—”
I put my head between my knees, trying to breathe.
Meridian scooted over onto the floor, at my feet. “I know this is a lot to take in. I’m sorry, I wish I could make it easier for you. I really do. The good news is that your window won’t open until March, so we have time. If we, you, can make it through this, then there’s time.”
“If we get through this?”
“Right,” Meridian whispered.
“What if I go with Kirian?” I asked. “Will they let Bodie and Sema go?”
“You have that choice. We can’t stop you.”
“I have to protect Bodie and Sema.” Thoughts and images swirled in my head, whirling me around until the dizziness was too much to bear.
“I know.”
Does Kirian really love me? Or is it a trick? There was a time before he left that we lay wrapped in blankets by the creek in the wee hours of the morning and talked about our futures, the family we’d make together. Places we’d travel to and see. He’d been the one person that made my world feel less scary. “He loves me.” Until Nicole and Mini, he was the only person I could count on.
“Sure.”
“No, he has to love me.”
Meridian seemed to hesitate. “I heard a woman talking to a young man one day by the creek.”
“When?”
“I was on my way to see you. Minerva tripped me. The woman—I think it was Ms. Asura—told the man he had to do whatever it took to be ‘Romeo.’ ”
I gasped. I had called Kirian “Romeo” quietly, when no one else was around.
“I think Kirian was that man. I think maybe he’s changed.” She offered each word cautiously.
“Is Tens your boyfriend?” I asked.
“He’s more than that, he’s a Protector.”
I nodded, as if that made sense. “Have you and Tens—?”
“What?”
I blushed, but I needed to know. “Um, you know, yeah?”
“No, not yet.” She shook her head and bit her lip.
“Why not?”
“I think—” She shrugged. “I don’t know. We haven’t known each other long enough. I don’t think we’re in a rush. He goes above and beyond to not pressure me.”
“Why not? It’s what you do when you love someone.”
“Maybe, but it needs to be right.” She shredded a piece of toilet paper. “So you’ve—”
I swallowed. “Yeah, once.”
“With Kirian?”
“Mmm.” He was leaving the next day, his sixteenth birthday. His meager belongings were packed. That night, we crept into the vacant Train Room. In the dark, we groped and undressed. It wasn’t the first time we’d made out. I wanted him to stay. I wanted to go with him. I wanted to give him a reason to stay with me. “It’s pretty common for kids to hook up at DG. Sometimes it was the only thing that felt good. I loved him.”
“I get it. How old were you?”
“Thirteen.” Saying it aloud it made it sound young, too young. Kirian wasn’t inexperienced, not like me. I gave him my virginity. “It felt right at the time.”
“Now?”
“He still left without me.”
“That hurts?”
I nodded.
Tens knocked on the door. “Ladies? We have a plan to go over, when you’re ready.”
I stood, knees shaky.
“Can you do this?” Meridian asked. “We can go without you.”
“Kirian told me to come alone.”
“Well, you’re not alone and you’re not going alone. We’re a team and we’ll get the kids and then maybe you can talk to Kirian. Maybe he does love you and he’s not working with the Nocti.”
I nodded. Or maybe he used me, too.
Let the creatures of all that is good and light be with us tonight.
Cassie Ailey
CHAPTER 44
The worry about Juliet’s physical and mental health was overwhelming. I kept silently praying that Nicole really was her guardian angel and she’d appear to help. I didn’t think Juliet could take one more blow. She was stronger than anyone I’d ever come across. To live in that horror and be able to nurture kids and love, without turning bitter and cold, blew my mind.
Tens hugged me
tightly to him. We didn’t speak. There were no words. Besides, I knew Tens didn’t need them.
Rumi was fumbling with his stereo. “What’s he doing?” I whispered to Tens.
“He says he has Juliet’s anthem for her to hear.”
Juliet sank onto the couch, clutching Minerva to her chest.
Tony brought over a plate of take-out food and urged her to eat. I watched her take a few bites to appease him. He hovered around her, like the father I thought he identified as.
Rumi pressed Play and said to Juliet, “Your mother named you well. Take a listen.”
The B-52s called her name and Juliet lowered her head to her hands. The beat and lyrics flowed over us.
Juliet, I can feel your glow …
Juliet, you’re not afraid anymore.…
I can’t explain it completely, but the song warmed our souls. It was as if the sun came out and filled us with hope. I could almost see Auntie and Roshana clapping their hands in the corner of the room, smiling and laughing.
As the last note of the song faded, Juliet lifted her head. “Play it again?”
Rumi hit Repeat, turned the volume up high enough to rattle the windows and shake the glassware in the next room. He swung me into his arms for a twirl around the room. Tens’s toes tapped and he bopped his head to the rhythm. Tony played an invisible drum set with the gusto of a rock star.
Custos wagged her tail and I swear Minerva batted a paw to the beat. Juliet picked the cat up and swayed with her. It was the first time I’d seen Juliet relax and even smile.
The third time through, Tens cut in, embracing me. Who knew Tens was such a good dancer? His feet moved and mine followed his steps. Tony escorted Juliet to the dance floor of the kitchen, while Rumi pranced back and forth with Custos on her hind legs and front paws on his shoulders.
