by Alexa Riley
I’ll take even the smallest scrap of her attention. I’m just that desperate.
Chapter 22
Tessa
“Oh, God.” This has to be the best dream ever. I’m back in Sean’s bed, his head between my legs, his tongue stretching my tight opening, his beard scratching the inside of my thighs. His mouth makes love to me as his fingers force me to climax.
Everything else seems to just wash way. It’s just him and me, still in our perfect weekend.
“Cum for me, little fox. I need you,” he murmurs against my body before licking into my pussy with deep wet strokes. He goes back to my clit, dragging it into his mouth and sucking. Slipping two fingers inside me, he searches for my G-spot and sends me over the edge. My body coils and then succumbs as I call out his name, and the orgasm takes me.
I try to clamp my legs closed, but Sean buries his face deeper into the folds of my sex, making sure to get every drop of my orgasm. In my dream he’s soaking it all up and loving me with every inch of his mouth.
Too quickly the heat is gone and it makes my eyes open lazily. That’s when I remember.
Betrayal.
Death.
He used me to get into the bank, then he killed a man right in front of me.
It all comes crashing down on me. I stare at him as he sits in a chair in the corner of the room. He gazes back at me, licking his lips from the orgasm he just gave me. That was no dream. It was him. I roll over to face the other way. I don’t want to have my eyes on him.
I hate the way I feel about it. I feel like it’s ripping me in two. Part of me loves him, and part of me is so angry at him I can’t speak. I hate the part of me that loves him, but it’s still there.
Love isn’t just a switch you can flip on and off. I’ve learned that over the past few days. I loved him before I understood what was really happening, and that love doesn’t seem to be fading with this new knowledge. I’m not sure who I’m madder at, myself or him.
“You have to eat, baby.” I ignore him. It’s what I’ve been doing since I got here. I don’t want to talk to him because my ability to resist him isn’t so great. The only wall I can seem to keep up is silence. It wouldn’t take much to crack, even knowing the things I know. Does that make me pathetic? Knowing he used me for all of this, yet I still want him? He has blood on the very hands that have held me close at night. The hands that captured my face as he rained kisses all over me.
“You can’t go on not eating,” he tries again. He’s been on this eating thing since yesterday. To be honest I hadn’t even realized I hadn’t eaten. I think with all the crying, I just didn’t feel up to it. Nor was I hungry.
Now I am, but seeing how much it bothers him that I’m not eating, I’m doing it on purpose. It’s spiteful and immature, but I can’t find the energy to care. It might be childish, but I like seeing the misery on his face. I want him to be as miserable as I am. He did this to us. He ripped us apart and shattered everything. I should’ve known he was too good to be true.
He has taken everything from me: my life, my job, what few friends I had, and the man I thought I loved. He made me fall in love with him so he could use me. Then took me from the only home I’ve ever known.
I hear him move, coming to the other side of the bed so I’m once again looking at him. He drops to his knees next to the bed.
“If you don’t eat, you're going to get sick.” He pauses for a second, running his hands through his messy hair. I have the urge to reach out and fix it, but I clench my hand into a fist so that I don’t. “This is killing me, baby. I love you. Just…”
I don’t want to hear what he has to say. The walls I have up are already shaking just looking at him. The miserable look on his face is killing me. I hate it, but I can't seem to bring myself to swipe it away for him.
“If you stop talking, I’ll eat.” His jaw clenches, but he nods his head as he stands and leaves the room.
He comes back moments later with a tray in hand. It must have been sitting right outside the door. The sight of the pancakes and bacon makes my stomach growl loudly. Sean scowls at the sound, like my being hungry is making him angry.
“It’s your fault I haven’t eaten. If I was home, I bet I would have eaten by now,” I say defensively. That’s probably not true. I’d most likely be in bed, curled up and crying about Sean not being who I thought he was.
What’s just as scary is when I think about what would have happened if he’d left me behind. I’d never see him again. That thought seems more painful than this.
I sit up and let him place the tray over my lap. He goes back to his chair in the corner to sit in silence like I asked. I want to snap at him to leave, but then he probably would. I like when he’s close, even if I want to smack him.
When the first bite of fluffy pancake and sweet syrup hits my lips, I moan. I look up in time to see Sean adjusting himself in his chair. His erection is clear as day, even from across the room. He licks his lips, and I wonder if he’s thinking about my food, or still tasting me on his lips from earlier.
I get halfway through my food when the silence becomes too much.
“Why am I here?” I finally ask. Maybe if I ask the questions, I can control the conversation.
“Because I can’t live without you.” His tone is so matter-of-fact that I just stare at him. My heartbeat picks up at his words. I can’t live without you. God, I want to run and jump into his lap. Those words seem so much deeper than an ‘I love you.’
I can’t live without you
“You’re a liar. I can’t trust anything you say,” I tell him, wanting the words to be true. I want him to make me believe him.
“I’ve never once lied to you.”
“You said you were looking at my bank to set up an account,” I throw back at him. He never intended to open an account with us; he just used that lie to talk to me.
“No, I said I was looking at your bank for work. You took it as I wanted to set up an account. I never said that.”
I drop my fork down onto the plate. “It was a lie. Spin it how you like.” My appetite is gone once again, but I ate more than half of what he gave me.
He takes a deep breath and leans back in his chair.
The silence starts again.
“Why did you do this?” My words come out in a whisper. Wasn’t there another way to have gone about this if he wanted me? Was the bank robbery more important than me?
“The wheels were in motion before I ever even saw you. I couldn’t stop it by then. It was all too late. I could only do what I did.”
“I don’t know what that means, Sean. If that’s even your real name!” I scream out the last part. I don’t even know if the man I’ve fallen in love with is real.
Leaning forward, he places his elbows on his knees. I can see the dark circles under his eyes. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days. I know he crawls into bed with me each night and leaves before I wake up, leaving only his smell behind.
“I’m still the man you fell in love with, Tessa,” he shoots back, understanding what I was trying to get out. “The person I’ve been when I’m with you is who I am. The things I whispered in your ear when we made love. When I held you tight and told you I wanted a family. When I stroked your belly, dreaming of our baby growing in there. It was all true. Every. Single. Thing.”
“You used me,” I retort. I think I’m trying to remind myself of this more than remind him.
“I had no choice. The people I got mixed up with were already planning to use you, and I couldn’t let that happen. I tried, baby. I swear I did. I went back to call it all off and to wipe my hands clean. I wanted to be able to try to get you myself. Normal boy-meets-girl shit. But like I said, they already had you in their sights, and I wasn’t letting them touch you. No one touches what’s mine, and you are mine. It was too late, and the only thing I could do was make sure you were protected in all of it. Make sure that no matter what, you and I made it.” The look he gives me dares me to challenge that,
but I say nothing “You might be fighting it, but you know it’s true. Just like I’m yours. I always have been. You’ve been mine before you ever knew I existed.”
A lump forms in my throat. I don’t want to cry anymore. I’ve already cried so much. He must see it in my eyes, the tears trying to break free.
“Tessa.”
The way he says my name is pained as need coats the word. I pull my eyes to his, feeling his stare all the way to my toes.
“You took me from the only home I’ve ever known.”
“No, I brought you to your home. Your place is with me, and this is our home. It’s made just for us. You belong here, not there. I’ve never really had a real home, Tessa, but when I saw you that first time I knew you were it. From that very first moment. You are my only home, and I want to be yours.”
“I don’t—”
“Don’t you dare say you don’t belong here with me. I don’t think I can bear it. I’ll show you. Please just let me prove it to you. If I didn’t love you and want to be with you, would I have brought you here? No, I would’ve left you behind and been long gone. But there was no leaving without you. Because without you I might as well be dead.”
Chapter 23
Sean
Tessa looks at me with big eyes. There’s hope in them, and she’s close to the edge, I just need to help her get there.
“I never wanted my world to touch you. I never wanted anything dark around me to dim your light. My biggest fear is that something would take away your innocence and the purity of your trust in me. I never meant to deceive you, baby. Never.”
She hasn’t told me to stop talking yet, so I keep going, needing to make her understand.
“When Nick pulled you off the ground and I saw him put that gun to your head, my whole world fell apart in a split second. I knew the bullets were blanks, and I knew no harm would come to you, but knowing that in that split second you knew everything, I was crushed. I’m so sorry that it happened the way it did. That wasn’t the plan, and when everything went to shit, I had to improvise. That included getting you out of there and onto the island a lot sooner than I had anticipated.”
“I don’t understand what you mean.” Her fingers twist in the blankets as she struggles to believe me.
“The job was supposed to be simple, Tessa. In and out and no one the wiser. I had to go through with it to make sure you were safe and that no one touched you. I had to finish this one last job to give us the life I’ve been telling you about. The life where it’s just you and me and our babies.”
I take a chance, getting up from the chair again and making my way over to the bed. She doesn’t stop me as I slowly walk over, letting her know my intentions.
“There is no me without you. And if I have to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, then I’ll do it. I will never stop trying to prove to you that what I did was never meant to hurt you and was only meant to save you. To save me.”
I walk over to the closet and pull out a small bag. I had Sal specifically pick up a few things that I knew Tessa would need if things went south. I didn’t go about doing this the right way, but I’ll die knowing the end justified the means.
“The plan was to complete the robbery and then come back to you. I was going to get you after work and tell you to pack your things and run with me. I would have told you all of it and brought you here of your own free will. But that’s not what happened, and I have to deal with the aftermath. This may not make up for taking you from that bank, but I hope it helps.”
I remove the tray and place the small bag in her lap, watching her fingers untangle from the sheet and slowly reach for it.
I kneel beside the bed, and she looks at me skeptically as she unzips the bag.
She pulls out the small brooch shaped like a fox. It was her grandmother’s. As recognition hits her, she looks up at me with watery eyes.
“The first time I ever saw you, you were wearing that. I knew it meant a lot to you, and when you showed me the picture of your grandmother wearing it, I knew it had to come with us. You’ve been my little fox since the second I laid eyes on you, Tessa. I may have not done this the right way, but if you let me, I’ll love you enough to make up for this until the end of time.”
She rubs her finger over the fox, tears running down her face. “I’m scared,” she whispers.
I cup her hands in mine as she cradles the fox. “I’m scared, too, baby. I’m scared I fucked up everything and that you won’t forgive me. I’m scared that you won’t ever look at me and feel what you once felt. But mostly I’m scared because I don’t deserve you, and one day you’ll realize it.”
“Sean.” She looks up to me with her big golden eyes, so hopeful and so soft.
No sooner is the word out of her lips than I’m on them. She’s hesitant at first, but it only takes a half a second before she melts against me, opening her lips and letting me in.
Her warm mouth tastes of syrup and sweetness, and she moans as I sweep my tongue in, claiming her. I get off the floor and sit on the bed, never breaking our kiss. I pull her to me, onto my lap, as I wrap my arms around her and hold her against my body.
She moans as I suck her tongue and then nibble her lips, the last of her resistance slipping away. It feels as if she’s letting go of all the anger, and she’s as light as a feather. She’s delicate and fragile in my arms, and I’ll never break that gentle trust again. I’ll never do anything again to make her question me or my motives. Ever.
I move my lips down her chin to her neck, needing to inhale her scent and taste every inch of her.
“I love you, Sean. Don’t ever do that to me again.”
I pull back and cup her face, looking into her liquid-gold eyes. “Never, baby. That life is in the past. It’s just us now. I love you so fucking much.”
My lips are back on hers again, needing to know that this is real. That the worst is over and it’s all going to be okay.
“Please,” Tessa begs, clinging to me. She pulls my body tighter to hers as she adjusts her position in my lap. She slings one leg around my waist so our cores are aligned, and her heat is against my solid cock.
“Please what, little fox? Say the words and make them dirty.” I kiss down her neck, grazing the delicate skin there with my teeth.
“I want you inside me. I need you cumming in me, Sean.”
Her words send a shiver down my spine, and a little cum leaks inside my jeans. Breaking away from her neck, I look into her golden eyes and see need there.
We both want to make up and bind ourselves to one another. “It’s been too long since I’ve been inside you, baby.” I hold her face with both hands before running my fingers down her chest to cup her breasts. “I won’t last long. I’m too desperate.”
She nods a little at me, biting her lip. I see a blush creep across her cheeks, the little freckles there making her look so innocent and pure. Her gorgeous auburn hair flows around her as she grinds down on my erection, torturing me.
“I think my little fox likes the idea of me cumming quick.”
She’s got on pale pink panties and one of my oversized white T-shirts. I push the shirt up, exposing her underwear and watching as she moves her hips against me.
“Is that what you want, Tessa? Do you want me to cum fast so we can do it over and over?” I look up, and she bites her lip again, nodding at me. “Say the words, little fox.”
“Yes. I want you, and I want us. Make me remember why this is so perfect between us.”
Grabbing her by the waist, I flip us over so she’s flat on her back. Her legs fall open as I move between them.
“Take the shirt off. I wanna suck on your tits.”
I reach down and unbuckle my jeans, pushing them down to my thighs. I’m too wound up to take them all the way off. I will after this first time, but right now I just need our important parts to connect. Just the essentials, and then we can take it slow.
As soon as my cock is out, she falls back on the bed, the T-shirt gone
. Immediately, I pull her panties to the side and press my cock to her opening.
I look up into her eyes, and as her nails slightly scratch down my chest, I thrust inside her.
“Fuck,” I groan, nearly collapsing on top of her as I bury my face in her neck. I start to pump into her hard, needing her and needing to bind us together. It’s as if I can somehow fuse her to me with every thrust.
My breathing is labored as I try to hold on long enough so that Tessa cums, too, but I fear it’s hopeless. Her legs come up around my hips, one hand on my back, clinging to me, and one in my hair, pulling it.
“Oh, God, baby. I can’t—”
“I’m yours,” she whispers, as she licks my ear, and I’m done for.
Her words send me over the edge, cumming inside her with a loud moan. I grip her body tightly to me as I hold myself inside her, releasing my orgasm, emptying my thick load into her. I try to catch my breath. Holding her to me, I start to move again, needing to get her off as well.
I sit up a little and reach between us. I feel her clit slick with her need and my cum. “Now you owe me two orgasms, little fox. And I’m going to get them.”
I lean down and take a nipple in my mouth, and again her hand goes to my hair, holding me in place. I lightly bite it and then move to the other, making sure to give equal treatment. I feel her tight channel clench me, and her wet nectar slips down between us.
I thumb her clit harder, and with just the slight pressure on her tits, she tenses under me and shouts out her orgasm. Her body ripples, and she moans my name as she pulls me tighter to her. It makes me feel needed and forgiven, and I want it all over again.
“Another,” I mumble against her nipple, moving down and biting the thick flesh around it. “Another orgasm, and this time I cum with you.”
