“It went well, Father…but why aren’t you at the Weavers’?” I inquired of him, while my eyes searched Mother’s face for hostility. Not seeing any, I breathed a little easier, continuing to stand before them, shifting between my feet.
“There is a matter that Mother and I want to discuss with you before we leave for the party. Please have a seat,” Father said, pushing the chair closest to him out for me with the toe of his boot.
I stared at the chair, a dozen thoughts flashing through my mind. If Father had any inkling at all about Rose, he wouldn’t be so calm. But then again, emptying the house for a secret meeting definitely meant something was up. Trying to slow my heart, I crossed the room and sat beside him, waiting with resolve for whatever was to come.
“Noah, have you taken notice of the way Ella Weaver looks at you?” Father asked quietly with a tilt to his head, smoothing his beard beneath his fingers as he talked.
That was not what I was expecting. I thought for sure someone had spied my reaction when Rose was hit by the ball the night before, and told my parents. Now I was torn between relief that they didn’t suspect my relationship with Rose and sudden dread at the direction the conversation was moving.
Mother informed me with hardly controlled enthusiasm, “Bessie Weaver approached me last night, Noah, and she informed me that Ella would be interested in a courtship with you.”
When I didn’t immediately answer, she arched her brows and piped, “Aren’t you happy? She’s one of the loveliest girls in the community.”
So this was it—the beginning of the end. I was in trouble no matter what I said. If I told my parents I wasn’t interested in Ella, they’d wonder why, and if I couldn’t give them a good reason, they’d continue to harass me about her until I gave in or picked another girl. If I dared to tell them I’d fallen for an English girl, they’d each have a heart attack and send me away. But at that moment they were staring at me with intense eyes. I had to say something. “Wow…I didn’t know Ella liked me. I mean, I guess I’ve been too busy lately to notice.”
Impatiently, Mother asked, “But what do you think about the news, Noah? Will you ask to court Ella Weaver?”
Both Mother and Father waited, not breathing, for my answer. I needed to stall for time—time to think and plan. “I don’t believe Ella and I would be a good match, Mother. We don’t have anything in common.” Seeing her face drop in disappointment, I quickly added, “Seriously, I’ve been observing a few of the girls lately and I haven’t made up my mind yet—so if you can just let me take my time, I’m sure I’ll be able to make a decision soon,” I said as convincingly as I could manage.
“You seem restless of late, son, and I know that once you’ve settled on a girl, you’ll feel peace in your life. It’s a very important decision for you to make, and your mother and I want you to be happy. We believe that married life will suit you well.” Then winking, he said with a grin, “There are many advantages to having your own wife to welcome you home after a long workday.”
Yes, Father, I’ve already been envisioning what it would be like, but with Rose Cameron, not Ella Weaver, or any other girl. I wanted to shout it out, but I didn’t. Instead, I drew in a long breath and said, “It will happen in time. Just give me a little space to make a decision.”
“Noah, it’s not that we’re trying to rush you, but you’re eighteen now and there are many boys your age this year. We’re concerned that you’ll miss an opportunity with one of the better girls in the community if you wait too long.” As Mother said it, she reached across the table and placed her hand on mine, smiling worriedly.
At that moment, I wished I could tell her the truth about my feelings for Rose, and I almost blurted it out, being drawn into her kind expression. But luckily I caught myself before I made that mistake.
“Mother, I’ll pick a girl eventually. I promise.”
“You need to pray to God about it, Noah. Ask his guidance on your choice. He is always with you,” Mother said softly.
“Uffgevva, my son. You must give yourself up to God’s will in this matter,” Father directed. And then, his voice growing harder, he said thoughtfully, “You must not let the devil mislead your heart. Conflict and indecision are brought from his evilness. Listen to God’s word in Romans 12:2—‘Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.’”
I lowered my eyes to the table, focusing on the grains, swirls and imperfections of the well-used wood. I sat at this table several times every day and I never bothered to see them before. Yet they were there, plain to any eyes that took the time to look at the wood and see. Could Mother and Father not see Rose—really see what a perfect match she was for me? How could the feelings I had for her be evil? I wouldn’t accept that God felt that way. He wouldn’t have opened my heart up to her if I weren’t meant to be with her. Somehow I had to convince Mother and Father that it was God’s will that I spend my life with Rose—an English girl.
Finally, raising my head, I met my parents’ eyes bravely and told them in a firm voice, “I do believe in God’s providence and I am willing to open myself up to it.”
That seemed to please Mother and Father, and they visibly relaxed, breathing easier.
With an encouraging smile, Father said, “We have a party to attend. Shall we go?”
I took that as my cue to exit the kitchen and head upstairs, where I quickly and unceremoniously took a shower, brushed my unruly hair and dressed in finer clothes for the occasion. My head was still swirling with the conversation when I harnessed Rumor and hitched up the buggy. I wondered how much time they’d actually give me—and then there was the whole uncomfortable business with Ella. She would have been aware of our mothers’ discussion, and she would inevitably expect a courtship invitation from me any day now. She had always thought quite highly of herself, and ever since we were kids she’d made it clear that she was interested. Oh, she was subtle about it, all right; always nearby, lurking like a tunnel-web spider, ready to strike with the shy fluttering of her lashes and the flirty half smiles.
I couldn’t help the snort of laughter that erupted from my lips at the thought of prissy Ella with eight dangling legs. But quickly, my mood blackened. The thought of spending my life with Ella created a cold tightening in my stomach. She was pretty enough, but she didn’t have the warm and inviting nature that Rose had. I feared that even if Rose wouldn’t have me, I’d never feel the same attraction for another girl the way I had for her.
When I finally pulled into the driveway, it was late enough that most of the guests were already in the gathering building, with just a few of the smaller children playing in the expansive yard. The Weavers’ place was pristine. The flower beds along the driveway overflowed with the bright purples, pinks and whites of perfectly tended flowers.
Glancing around, I realized, as if for the first time, that the Weaver farm was one of the more impressive homesteads in the community. The ten children worked diligently to keep it in pristine condition, and with Mark Weaver being one of the three ministers in the church, he had to set an example to the other members, which he did in an exemplary way.
It was the same in our household, since Father was also a minister. My parents fretted as much as the Weavers about appearances. That was what made the situation with Ella Weaver even more delicate. The Weavers would be offended if I wouldn’t have their daughter, and if I chose an English girl over Ella, it would cause serious problems between the families, becoming a church matter.
Rubbing my face from the stress of it all, I entered the dining hall and made my way to the buffet table, only lightly filling my plate. I didn’t have much of an appetite, and the food I did place on my plate was more for show than anything else. I was oblivious if any eyes followed me as I walked to the table, sliding in between Matthew and Timmy.
“Hey, buddy, why are you so late?” Matthew asked with his mouth full of chicken casserole.
Taking a fork in hand, I pushed the food around on my plate, not really wanting to be social but answering anyway, “Oh, Mother and Father harassed me for a while, that’s all.”
“I bet I know what they were bugging you about,” Matthew stated simply, continuing to shovel food into his mouth.
I’m sure he did know, too, I thought distractedly. Ella was, after all, his sister, and although he wasn’t close to her, he would have heard things being discussed in the house about a possible match.
Matthew went on somberly, “If I were you, I’d run screaming, Noah.”
The mental picture brought an unwanted smile to my lips.
The light feeling only lasted a second, when I was snapped back into the real world by Timmy’s question. “Was the English girl really all right, Noah? I mean, that ball hit her hard. She didn’t seem to be mad at me, but I still feel bad about it and all.”
Before I even had a chance to respond, Levi Zook said quietly, definitely not wanting to be overheard by any adults, “Damn, she was gorgeous. I’d like to get a piece of that.”
The fury swelled so sudden and unexpected in me that I had to grip the bench with my free hand to keep from smashing Levi’s head into the table right then and there. I became even angrier when several of the other boys, including Matthew, murmured agreement with Levi. Only Timmy sat silent, staring at me with wide eyes. He had the inkling about my interest in Rose. His face now showed worry about how I’d react to Levi’s lewd comment.
Struggling to compose myself, I narrowed my eyes and leveled a piercing look at Levi. A little louder than a whisper, I threatened, “You shouldn’t talk that way about her.”
At first, Levi was obviously taken aback. His face showed the surprise of someone not expecting my reaction. The surprise slowly turned to understanding. Then a wicked smile spread across his mouth. He knew.
“Maybe Noah here has a thing for the sexy English girl and he wants to keep her all to himself.” He smirked nastily and his friend Nathaniel Yoder huffed agreement with him. The other boys were as silent as Timmy now, glancing between Levi and myself, feeling the tension that had sprung into the air.
I had never liked Levi, from the time we were kids up until today. He’d always been difficult, stirring up trouble and running to narc on anyone who upset him or made him look like a fool, which wasn’t hard to do. He was gangly and uncoordinated, with bright red hair and strange dark eyes, almost black. Those eyes were out of place on his pallid face.
The quiet sounds of eating and conversation around the room faded away, leaving me alone with Levi and my rage. With an outer calmness that I wasn’t feeling internally, I spoke to him from across the table. “Maybe we should go outside to discuss this in private,” I invited him.
“Bring it on, Noah. I’m not afraid of you,” he said with pure hatred.
As we both rose from the benches, Jacob appeared like a wraith at my side. A quick glance to his face proved that he was aware there was a problem, and I exhaled in irritation, knowing that I wasn’t going to have the opportunity to beat the crap out of Levi after all.
“Can I have a word with you, Noah?” Jacob asked calmly enough. It was his birthday, so I couldn’t refuse. Nodding, I followed him out of the building. Glancing back once, I shot a look at Levi that promised I wouldn’t forget what he’d said.
The fresh air smacking into my face felt good. I breathed easier, seeing that we were relatively alone, besides the old white dog lying in the grass under the shade of the maple tree. I didn’t think he was going to judge me.
“What was going on in there, Noah?” Jacob asked in a harsh whisper. When I only shrugged, he went on with his quiet tirade. “Is this about a girl?”
My eyes met his and whatever he saw in them confirmed his suspicions. “Listen, Noah, Ella wants to be with you—Katie’s told me that. You don’t have to worry about any of the other guys. But you should make it official as soon as possible, to get the other hounds off her scent,” he said with a calmer voice, now only mildly annoyed with what he thought was my stupidity.
So, Jacob, and probably everyone else, thought I was interested in Ella. Astonishment spread through me like a rainstorm dousing the anger I’d felt a minute before. That Jacob didn’t realize all my turmoil was because of Rose was unbelievable to me. And he thought I was the stupid one. The only thing I could do was play along. I certainly couldn’t think of a better alternative at the moment.
“Yeah, maybe you’re right, Jacob, but I feel like I need more time to think about it, and I never have a chance to be alone with my thoughts. Would you mind if I went home and missed your party?” I asked quietly, hoping he’d fall for it.
“No, that’s all right with me. I understand, Noah. It’s scary to make a decision about the woman that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.” He paused and with a knowing smile said, “But trust me, when you begin courting, you’ll forget about all the worry you have now. Time alone with a woman can make you forget all manner of things.” Jacob was grinning suggestively and I looked away, embarrassed. God, I didn’t need Jacob’s advice about women just then. Silently I thought, you don’t need to tell me about it, Jacob. I already know.
“I’ll inform Mother and Father discreetly that you’ve gone home for some quiet reflection time,” he said as he patted me on the back, with a warning look clouding his face. “And, Noah, make good use of the time.”
“Sure thing,” I retorted. A few minutes later I was in my buggy, and with a snap of the reins had Rumor moving out, trotting down the long, winding driveway. Fifteen minutes later when I reached the barn, I hurriedly unhitched the horse. After rubbing him down and putting him into the pasture at lightning speed, I ran full blast to the shed.
It was about seven-thirty, I guessed by the low light in the sky, and an involuntary shudder went through me while I stared at the telephone. I could do this. I pulled the piece of napkin with Rose’s number on it out of my pocket and picked up the phone.
I hesitated. What if she was busy and didn’t want to talk to me? It would be better to know that now rather than later, I reckoned. I dialed the number and then waited, listening to the rings, leaning impatiently against the stack of hay bales and willing Rose to answer the phone. I couldn’t control the thumping of my heart, and I realized how desperately I wanted to hear her voice.
“Hello?” My heart stopped when her timid voice reached my ear. For a second I was speechless.
But for just a second, hearing the background noise raised all the questions I’d had earlier on the roof and I found my voice. “Hey, Rose, it’s Noah.”
“Oh. Hi.” There was a muffled sound while she spoke to someone with her, and then she said, “Hold on a minute, I have to get to a quieter place.”
I waited for what seemed like eternity, but it was probably less than a minute when she was back. “Noah, can you hear me okay?”
Her voice sounded loud, clear and…sweet, very sweet. “Yeah, I can hear you just fine. Where are you anyway?” I hoped I didn’t sound as jealous as I felt.
“I’m at the movies with some friends.”
“Am I bothering you?”
“No, no. The movie hasn’t even started yet, just the previews. And it’s probably going to be dumb anyway.”
“How does your chest feel today?”
She laughed a little and said, “Oh, it’s fine, except I have a pretty big bruise right above my…” She stammered and said, “Well, on my chest. But it’s no big deal.”
“Are you having fun there?” I asked, trying to erase the picture of Rose’s body from my mind.
In a quiet voice she answered, “It’s okay, but I missed seeing you today.”
Hearing her say that caused my heart to skip a beat. Then I relaxed, sitting down on the nearest bale of hay, feeling more at ease and confident than I had when I dialed her number.
“I miss you, too—today’s been a tough day for me.”
“Really, why?” she question
ed with a twinge of worry in her voice.
I wondered how much I should tell her. I wanted to tell her everything. She was the only person in the world I felt I could talk to. But would she understand at all what I was dealing with? Her world was so different from mine. The whole thing might be beyond her comprehension.
But I chanced it anyway. “My parents are trying to arrange a courtship for me.”
There was silence for a second and then she said, “With whom?”
The way she said it made me smile. She was the one who sounded jealous now. “Ella Weaver.” But I quickly went on to tell her, “I don’t have any interest in Ella at all, Rose. You have to believe me.”
“Oh, I believe you. She’s a rotten egg in my book.” I chuckled at that and when I had finished, she asked, “You don’t have to do it—do you?”
Her velvet voice sounded strange, upset, and that was all I needed to make me brave enough to say what I said next. “I thought I was already taken. Am I right about that?” My heart seemed to stop beating altogether as I waited for her answer.
Temptation Page 14
