He drew in a long breath, preparing for further attack. I closed my eyes, waiting for the final onslaught.
“Son, you should take the time you have alone this week to think long and hard about your future. Ella Weaver may still be willing to take you, even after this embarrassment. She’d make a fine wife for you—and my own experience that I shared with you should open your eyes to that truth.”
He waited for me to say something. Maybe he wanted me to throw myself onto the floor and beg for forgiveness or admit that I was wrong about Rose—and that he knew her better than I did. But those things weren’t going to happen. I avoided his penetrating glare, summoning up a picture of Rose in my head, and straightening my back, I asked, “May I be excused?”
Flicking his hand with annoyance, he said, “You may go to your room.”
Once I was lying on my bed, I realized how exhausted I was from all the emotions of the day. I closed my tired eyes. Even in the state I was in, my mind was still working overtime. I had to think about how I could get away with Rose before I was forced to go to Pennsylvania. How would I do it? I had to find a way, but I only came up with more questions and no answers. When the oblivion began to push at me, I welcomed it, gladly slipping into unconsciousness.
15
Rose
Decisions
THE REST OF the week I woke up as late as possible, hoping to eat up as much of the day in an unconscious state as I could. The conscious moments were the hardest to bear, and the waiting was driving me crazy. I had no idea what was going on at Noah’s house. I couldn’t call him on the phone, and he obviously wasn’t getting any opportunities to call me either. Was he even still there? Maybe he’d already been boxed up and sent to some far-off community, hidden so well that even if I hired a private investigator I wouldn’t be able to track him down.
My mind was going to explode with all the fretting, worrying and questioning I was subjecting myself to. I was about as active as a slug, almost never leaving my room. The only times I ventured out were to give Lady a couple of scoops of grain once a day and take little Hope out to pee every few hours. I kept myself to only muted and minimal conversation with the other inhabitants of the house, which seemed to distress them all immensely.
Sam would pound on my door each day, reciting a few more reasons why my life was so much better off without Noah in it. When I did dare to leave the self-inflicted confinement of my room, Justin would follow me around like a baby chick on its mother until I scared him off with a screaming tirade.
Even Dad, who up until then had been trying to avoid me like the plague, probably feeling the same weirdness that I did about his newly found sexual freedom, came into my room on Friday evening. After an uncomfortable amount of small talk, he had the nerve to offer his girlfriend as a possible psychologist for my boyfriend problems. He probably thought I was verging on insanity when I could only respond with hilarious laughter, pushing him out the door and slamming it behind him.
It was now late Saturday afternoon, and I’d just gotten back from a forced excursion into town that Sam and Justin had quite literally dragged me to. With Sam grabbing me under the arms and Justin holding my feet, they actually carried me down the stairs to the truck and threw me in as if I was a dead body that they were going to bury out in a field somewhere.
I had to give them an A for effort, though. Getting out of the house had made me feel a little bit better. That was until I ran into Maretta at Walmart. I’d been in the shampoo aisle when I looked up and almost bumped smack into her. She mumbled something unintelligible, smiled weakly and hurried away with her sister.
Well, one thing to come out of that painful experience was that I knew the entire Amish community was aware of my relationship with Noah. When I chewed Sam out in the truck for it later, he sheepishly apologized, admitting that we might just have to move to another town to get away from the constant reminders.
Of course, Sam’s other solution was that I should start hanging out with his new friends, telling me that they were all pretty cool and I’d like them. I certainly wasn’t interested in any social interactions, and ignored him completely whenever he brought the subject up.
Sam also did me the favor of calling Amanda and Britney to notify them of my broken heart. So on top of everything, I had been dealing with their phone calls every hour on the hour. I really didn’t want to talk about the situation to anyone. Not until I knew for sure what the heck was going on.
I hated it, the waiting, mixed with fear and tedium that I had to deal with every second of the day. And as I walked to the old barn that nature was trying desperately to reclaim with vines, weeds and bushes, I decided that I truly couldn’t take much more. Distractedly shoving the scoop into the feed barrel two times, I filled Lady’s bucket. Turning, I started to take it out to her, when a flash of something white caught my attention.
My heart skipped as I moved in slow motion toward the object. It was neatly sitting on the blanket that covered my saddle. My breathing sped up to one hundred miles an hour when I was close enough to see that it was a piece of paper, folded in half, with my name written in bold black letters along the top side. I recognized the handwriting, and I had to stop, close my eyes and take a deep breath. When I opened them, the letter was still there. I breathed out a sigh of relief that I hadn’t been dreaming.
Still, I was afraid to see what was written inside. I stood there staring at the note for a very long time until Lady’s whinny brought me back to the reality of the barn. Quickly, I ran the bucket out to her and then returned to the letter.
My dearest Rose,
I’ve missed you so much. We need to talk. Please meet me in your barn loft at 2 a.m. tomorrow morning. I’ll be waiting.
Noah
I read the note over three times before I finally stuffed it into my jeans pocket. My heart thumped excitedly as if awakened from a deep sleep. Suddenly the whole world seemed clearer, sharper to my eyes. My other senses were heightened, too. The lawn that Justin had mowed earlier came to my nostrils fresh and leafy smelling. Even my skin was hypersensitive, feeling the fibers of every piece of clothing I wore, from my bra to my ankle socks.
I had definitely just woken from a bad dream, and with renewed energy I sprinted to the house and up to my room. The hardest part would be acting casual the rest of the night. The last thing I needed was to arouse Sam’s suspicions. Justin would be in his usual video-game haze, so I didn’t need to worry about him. Dad had the night shift at the hospital—no worries there. And stupid Sam was going on a date tonight with his new girlfriend, which could be a good thing if he arrived home after I met with Noah, or go bad if he came home early.
It was chilly enough for pj’s, and I changed into my Eeyore ones early. I fixed sandwiches for Justin and me, and we hung out in the TV room, skipping through a hundred channels for several hours without finding anything worth watching, until midnight. I kept peeking out the window, looking for Sam’s big green truck to pull in, but he didn’t show up. Going over it in my head more times than was worth mentioning, I decided that even if he came home around two o’clock, he would just go straight to his room and collapse on his bed. He would have no reason to check on me, but just to be on the safe side, I’d fix the bed up like a body was in it—just like in the movies.
Shaking Justin, who had fallen asleep on the couch beside me, I ushered his sleepwalking body up the stairs into his bedroom, tucking him in and shutting the door quietly. One bozo brother down, only one to go, I thought as I skipped softly to my room and changed into jeans and a black stretch shirt. I figured I should blend in with the darkness. I even stepped into my black tennis shoes instead of my white ones, taking the camouflage thing to the next level.
Time passed slowly, but there was no fear of me falling asleep. I was so revved up most people would have bet that I was on some kind of drug. Nope, they would have been mistaken. The only chemicals coursing through my body were my own insane hormones. I was both jumping with excitement
to see Noah again and nervous to my bones. What if he had bad news for me? Maybe he’d decided to break up with me to court Ella after all? That was hard for even my suffering, insecure brain to believe. Noah really did love me; I was sure of that. And I loved him. But maybe all that love still wasn’t enough.
More minutes passed with me struggling on my bed imagining every possible scenario that could happen until it was almost two o’clock. Silently, I crept from my room and down the squeaky stairs as stealthily as I could. Sam still wasn’t home, and unfortunately, I could definitely guess what he was doing to keep him out so late. He was such a cad. No wonder he figured I’d be doing the wild thing with Noah, because that’s all he ever thought about. I had to admit, him not being asleep in his bed worried the crap out of me. And as I ran lightly across the dew-covered grass toward the barn, I looked over my shoulder several times to see if he’d pulled up in the driveway. At this point, the only thing I could do was pray that he would be physically exhausted from whatever exercise he had gotten with his girlfriend and go right to his room, leaving me the heck alone.
The barn was pitch-black inside. Even if I’d wanted to turn on a light, the electricity had been disconnected for decades. Luckily, the moon was almost full. Its pale light sprinkled through the gaps in the wood siding enough to light the way up the narrow steps to the loft.
Taking a deep breath and swallowing a gulp of air, I climbed the last step into the loft. My eyes took a few blinks to adjust to the darkness. For a fraction of a second I felt disappointment thinking Noah wasn’t there, until I heard rustling near the hay bales. Then I only had another instant to prepare for the force of Noah’s body slamming into me, pulling me into a tight embrace.
The squeeze of his arms around my back and shoulders, and his face bent down to the side of mine, was the most excruciatingly exquisite feeling I had ever experienced. Nothing in the world mattered as long as he held me like that. I could handle any calamity that was thrown my way with his arms protecting me.
It didn’t take long for his mouth to smash into mine. His aggressiveness was a little bit intimidating, but I wanted him just as much as he wanted me. I managed to keep up with his tongue, kissing him back as passionately as I could. His mouth left mine briefly to trail soft kisses over my cheeks, nose and eyes, until he was on my mouth again. Other than the kissing noises, the first sound I made was a little yip when he picked me up, startling me for a second. He carried me into the blackness where the hay was stacked and easily hoisted me up onto the hay. He sat down, still holding me with his back resting against a bale on the top row.
At that point, he simply hugged me while I nestled on his lap against his chest, his mouth breathing warm air into my hair. It seemed as if he was trying to bring himself under control. I could feel his heart hammering wildly under his shirt, and I pressed my head against his muscled chest, listening to the thumps in wonder. The surge of pleasure I was experiencing was so complete that every portion of my body was being bombarded with sensations, making it almost impossible to think, let alone talk.
I didn’t really want to talk about our problems. I just wanted to be happily cuddled up in the hay with him, all alone, while he explored my arms and legs with his hands with such deliberation, almost as if he was imprinting on his memory what I felt like. But then his deep voice broke into the night air, reminding me how much I loved the sound of it, and I was abruptly happy he’d spoken.
“Rose, how’ve you been, sweetheart?” His voice shook slightly, and I realized how much he’d missed me. He pulled back a little. I could imagine his worried look, but it was too dark to see his face clearly.
“I’m okay…but what about you, what happened with your parents?” I whispered.
I could feel him shake his head slightly and exhale very close to my face. His hot breath sent a tingle through my lips, causing me to sit up straighter and brush my own lips over his softly. I could feel his mouth smiling. I leaned back against his shoulder, waiting for whatever news he had to tell me. Good or bad, I could handle it now.
“Ah…they were pretty upset at first,” he said apprehensively.
“What did they say?”
“Well, the thing they were most worried about was whether we were already…making love.” He said it seriously, with no hint of humor.
I couldn’t help stiffening when he said it. After a second, I said a bit cheerfully, “At least you were able to tell them the truth about that one, right?”
“Yeah, they were pretty relieved. Although they probably would have had fits if they knew all the other stuff we’ve been doing.”
“Really, Noah, I think we’ve behaved ourselves very admirably. Especially you. I mean, I’ve practically attacked you, and you managed to keep your pants on.”
He laughed hard, hugging me closer still.
“Let’s not be talking about that right now. We have more important things to discuss.” His voice sounded anxious.
“Like what?” I asked, dreading his answer.
After a long, unhappy sigh, he said, “I’ve basically been locked in my room like a prisoner since I last saw you. They only let me out to use the bathroom. Yesterday, I had the pleasure of getting reamed out by the bishop and the other ministers for several hours. In the morning, I get to look forward to confessing my sins to the entire congregation.”
“Oh, Noah, I’m so sorry. But how’d you get away to leave the note for me—and come tonight?”
“I’ve been climbing out my window. It’s a pretty good drop from the second floor, too, but I’ve been managing to land without breaking anything so far.”
“How do you get back in?” I asked, worried.
“My folks don’t lock the basement door and the lock to my room is on the outside, so I just sneaked in last night. They never even knew that I was gone.”
“Who puts a lock on the outside of a kid’s door?” I questioned, silently fuming.
“My parents.”
“Wow, and I thought I had it bad.”
“What do you mean?” His potent curiosity came through in his voice.
“When I lock myself in my room to be alone, Sam tries to tear the door down like a raving lunatic.”
“Really?” He sounded bothered now.
“Yeah, but luckily my door has been around for a couple hundred years and it’s up to the challenge.” I giggled.
Quiet had descended in the loft again. He brought his hand to my chest, placing it over my heart, feeling the wild beating. He was so still, I wondered if he was falling asleep.
“I missed you so much. The only thing that’s kept me going this week was imagining what it would be like to hold you in my arms again.”
“I know. Me, too. I was so afraid that I’d never see you again—that you’d be sent away,” I whispered.
With an agonizingly strained voice, he said softly, “But I am going to be sent away. This Friday our driver is hauling me to my grandparents’ house in Pennsylvania. I’m to stay there until I settle down and find a wife.”
He sounded miserable. I didn’t know what to say. I was too young to have any ideas, other than running off to a Southern state to get hitched in some roadside wedding chapel.
Taking his big, callused hands between my own, I said in a fervent whisper, “Noah, we could run away together. I can do some research online about it, but I think that some of the Southern states allow kids to get married when they’re sixteen.”
“You would do that—run away with me and leave your family…and your life?”
“My life isn’t much without you in it. I couldn’t deal with you being gone, Noah. I’d have a nervous breakdown or something.”
He wrapped his arms securely around me and began kissing my neck. The electric current running through my veins consumed me as his mouth moved on the same small place for a long time. Fleetingly, part of my brain registered that he might be leaving a mark on the spot. Then another part of my brain warned me what I’d have to listen to from Sam if I
did wake up with a hickey in the morning. Bringing my hand up, I carefully disengaged his lips from my skin and brought his mouth to my mouth—a perfectly safe place.
He was distracted now and broke the kiss off. Breathing hard, he said, “We can’t run off like a couple of stupid English kids. We have to be smart about this. There is an option, though.”
The “stupid English kids” statement did not go over well with me. I was experiencing slight irritation, along with all the crazy, out-of-control emotional excitement my body was dealing with.
Curiosity won over irritation, so I inquired, “What option?”
With sudden eagerness, he said, “Father told me he would accept a marriage union between us if…” He stumbled and paused for a second before rushing the words out. “If you become Amish.”
Temptation Page 24
