Amazingly, he let me shut the door.
I waited patiently for Dad and Tina to come to my room and tell me the news. Yes, she had a name now, and I was beginning to feel as if she was my best friend in the world after what she’d done for me.
It was a bit awkward, because I had to act surprised. I figured I did a pretty good job, but I’ll probably never know if they realized I’d been eavesdropping. I hugged them both—Tina harder—and an hour later when they finally felt they’d covered every possible point of the discussion, they left me alone.
The door hardly had time to click shut before I was on the phone.
“Hello?”
It was Noah. I wondered briefly if he’d been out there in the shed with his still-damaged body, lying on some hay bale, waiting for me to call him.
“Noah, it’s me.”
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” he asked tensely.
“I’m good, Noah—real good, actually,” I teased him.
“Why, what’s going on?” His voice was clipped.
“Tina managed to talk Dad into letting me become Amish,” I squeaked happily into the phone.
“Are you sure, Rose? Your father was so against it earlier.”
“Well, there is a little catch,” I said quietly.
“What catch?” Now he sounded tired.
“Dad and Tina think that I won’t like being Amish and that I’ll want to come home after a little while. That’s why Dad’s letting me do it—kind of reverse psychology or something.”
Silence followed for an unbearably long time, and I was about to ask what he was thinking, when he said, “Do you think that will happen, Rose?”
Sighing into the phone for effect, I said with surety, “Of course not, Noah. By the time Dad realizes that I’m really going to convert, I’ll be eighteen and then he won’t be able to say a thing.”
“I don’t know if your father will give up that easily, but it’s definitely a start for us.” He still sounded doubtful.
“I love you, Noah.” I tempted him into loosening up.
“I love you, too…. So when is this all going to take place?”
I worked hard to control my excitement when I said softly, “Tomorrow.”
“What! Are you kidding me?” His voice was suddenly so animated, it was like talking to a different person.
“Dad thinks the sooner I start, the quicker I’ll be running back, I guess,” I said gently, hoping not to bug him again with the concept.
“All right, then, I’ll go tell Father and Mother right now. They’ll have to make the arrangements with the Hershbergers. And Mother has to finish your dress—but she’s close to done with it, so it shouldn’t be a problem,” he said, excitement rising in his voice.
I was feeling a little more apprehensive when I asked, “What are the Hershbergers like?”
Noah rattled off, “Oh, you’ll like them a lot, Rose. They’re an older couple, and all their children are grown. Mother told me that Ruth was especially happy at the thought of having a new daughter around the house. They only live a mile away on Maple Ridge Road.”
“Okay.”
With trepidation he asked quietly, “You aren’t having second thoughts, are you?”
“Absolutely not,” I confirmed, still feeling the nausea in my belly.
“Good. I’ll come by tomorrow at noon with Mother. Remember, for the most part, we won’t be able to be alone together without an adult chaperone—except on Sunday nights.”
A little worried, I asked, “Are you driving a buggy?”
I could imagine him rolling his eyes when he answered, “Of course, that’s how we Amish usually get around.” He must have sensed my confusion, because he went on to say, “I’ll borrow Jacob’s horse and buggy for now, but when we get closer to getting married, Father and Mother will buy us a new harness horse and a proper family buggy.”
He said it so proudly that I had to smile. I was finally going to get to ride in a buggy after all this time, and that buggy would be rolling me into my new life and away from everything I’d ever known. I wished I could feel as confident about it on the inside as I displayed for everyone on the outside.
“Good night, Noah.” I sighed into the phone.
“Good night, sweetheart—I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said in that sexy voice that made my knees weak.
Pulling the covers over my head, I tried not to let my brain dwell on Sam’s words about me ruining my life, but still they prowled around in there, making sleep almost impossible.
How could I be ruining my life, when Noah was my whole life?
* * *
After a fitful night of tossing and turning, I figured I’d probably sleep until noon and not even be awake when Noah and his mom arrived. But my body shocked me, waking at seven in the morning to my utter distress.
I felt too tired to get up, but my nerves kept me from going back to sleep either, so pulling myself from bed, I took a long, hot shower before slipping into some comfortable sweatpants. I would really miss pants—especially jeans. I lamented about my favorite clothes while I moved around my room in a daze. I was unsure of what to pack, so I stuck to the basics: pajamas, a lot of panties, socks and a few bras.
After a while, I grew bored in my room and decided to venture out, risking contact with the other humans in the house.
Dad was already in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal when I sneaked in, trying to keep a low profile.
It didn’t work, though, when he said with a very awake and alert voice, “How’d you sleep, honey?”
“Okay.”
“You know, Rose, no one is holding a gun to your head to do this. You can back out anytime,” he said innocently, and I wondered about his doctor’s sense of perception about people. He certainly seemed to be aware of my apprehension.
His choice of words weren’t convincing, though. I wasn’t the type of person to back out of something once I made a decision. I believed that when I got used to the whole being-Amish thing, and I was with Noah, I’d be perfectly fine—and my stomach would finally settle down.
“I’m going through with it, Dad. So don’t go trying to change my mind,” I said stubbornly.
“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it, honey. You’re old enough to decide on your own.”
He continued to flip through the newspaper, only partially paying any attention to me at all. His blasé attitude was starting to bug me, when he went on to say, “I went online last night and ordered your course books for this year. I’ll have to come by your new house several times a week to collect your papers to grade.” Offhandedly he added, “It sure would be easier if you could do the work on your laptop—any chance of that happening?”
I hadn’t really thought about my computer but doubted it would be allowed. “I don’t think that’s feasible, Dad,” I said, disappointed myself.
He rose up quickly, and after setting his bowl in the sink he caught me off guard by giving me a rib-crushing hug.
“If you need anything at all, Rosie, you call me or your brothers.” He lifted my chin and his blue eyes bore into mine. “You understand that you’re welcome back anytime of the day or night?”
I sniffed back the tears that were threatening to escape and nodded. “Mmm-hmm.”
“I love you,” he said, hugging me again even harder.
“I love you, too, Dad—and it’s not like I’m going to be far away, just right up the road.” I tried to convince him and myself.
“I know…. This is all just difficult for your old dad.” Releasing me suddenly, he straightened. He said, “I have an early day at the hospital, so I need to get going. Call me tonight when you’re settled, okay?”
“Sure thing.” I still felt the tears rippling behind my eyes, but they didn’t actually start falling until after he drove away, thank goodness.
If I was lucky, Sam and Justin would sleep until one o’clock, and I’d be long gone. I didn’t want to endure another scene like that. Of course, I certainly wouldn’t shed
any tears for Sam, but I’d miss Justin a little bit.
The minutes crept along through the morning as I attempted to busy myself folding the laundry, emptying the dishwasher and even sweeping the floor. I felt bad that I was abandoning Dad and the barbarians, and I wondered if they’d be able to survive without a woman around the house, even one as domestically inept as me. But then I remembered that Tina and Dad would probably get hitched before Noah and I did, and then she could take over the “womanly duties.” Even though I was eternally grateful to her for what she had done for me, I still felt a twang of jealousy toward her that curdled my belly even more than I was already experiencing.
Finally, at about eleven-thirty, I heard the clopping of hooves on the driveway and I pulled the curtain aside to watch Noah park the buggy by the walkway. His mother was the only one to get out, while the faint impression of his body remained in the driver’s seat.
I ran down the stairs full blast and swung the door open at about the same time she made it to the porch.
Her smile was genuine, and she said cheerfully, “Rose, the color in your face is much brighter today.”
“Really?” I didn’t know what the heck she was talking about.
“Oh, yes, the last few times I’ve seen you, you were very pale looking.” She stated it as if I was silly for not noticing.
It was then that I saw the sharp royal-blue cloth in her hands. Seeing me gazing at it curiously, she opened it up and held it out in front of her. “I hope you like it, Rose. I thought this shade of blue would match your eyes perfectly.”
Cautiously taking the dress from her, I inspected it closely, and suddenly, overwhelmed by her kindness, my eyes flooded again. “Thank you so much, Mrs. Miller. It’s beautiful,” I croaked.
“Oh, dear child, I didn’t mean to bring your tears again,” she said, stepping forward and embracing me firmly. I sniffed, peering past her shoulder, out the door, hoping Noah didn’t see me crying again. I had promised, after all, that I would dry it up.
Thankfully, Mrs. Miller shuffled me up the stairs and away from the doorway. Once in my room, she helped me change into the dress, and I felt extremely self-conscious in my panties and bra in front of her, but she took it in stride. She did have a couple of teenage daughters already, so nothing about me was sure to shock her.
Well, except maybe my underwear. I noticed her going through the things I had thrown into the duffel bag. Her eyebrows lifted several times at the Victoria’s Secret clearance buys. Oh, well, I was sure that someday Noah would appreciate them. I had to turn away to hide the heat spreading on my face.
The dress fit as perfectly as a frumpy, polyester material–style garment could. Poly pebble is what she called it. Geez, I never knew there were different kinds of polyester. I sure had a lot to learn. But at least she was right. The color did look good on me. Then came the annoying part—getting all my hair up in the little cap. I sat down at the vanity and she began her work. Amazingly, it only took her a matter of a minute to pull it up, twist it and pin it to my head.
“My word, you have wonderful hair,” she commented, adding more of the pokey pins.
“Ouch…thanks,” I muttered, getting thoroughly irked by the poking.
I had to admit, she did finish quickly, though. A few seconds later the pristine white cap was stuck to my head like Velcro with an actual pin stuck through the top of the cap and into my bun to keep it from blowing off my head. Mrs. Miller directed my fingers to it to feel where it was located, warning me to remember that it was there and to be careful not to try to jerk the cap from my head without removing the pin.
Gazing at myself in the mirror, I thought, Holy crap—I look like one of them. It was amazing what a cap and a dress could do for a girl’s appearance. Immediately, fear gripped me that Noah wouldn’t find me attractive anymore. After all, now I looked like all the other girls he found so boring.
I continued to worry about it while Mrs. Miller led me down the stairs. That was until we ran into Sam and Justin coming out of the TV room, and all thoughts vanished from my mind when I saw the look of shock on Justin’s face. The poor kid wasn’t expecting to see his big sister looking as if she had stepped out of one of the John Wayne movies he loved so much. Sam, on the other hand, reacted just as I expected, by laughing so hard he had to brace himself against the wall for support.
Mrs. Miller looked at him disapprovingly. I felt like telling her not to bother, my brother was completely shameless, but instead I focused my attention on poor Justin and went over, pulling him into my arms and giving him a big hug.
“Are you really doing this, Rose?” he asked with wide eyes.
Trying to ignore Sam’s snorting noises, I told him gently, “Yeah. I made my mind up—I’ll do whatever it takes to be with Noah. Dad will explain it all to you tonight, Justin. Don’t worry, I’ll come back and visit you every week. I promise.”
Knowing that I’d be sobbing in no time if I had to keep looking at my little brother’s stricken face, I swept through the door, but not before I stuck my tongue out at Sam, hoping that Mrs. Miller hadn’t seen.
For some reason the sound of the door closing behind me was significant, and my stomach tightened at the thud. I was brave, though, and I didn’t look back. I couldn’t look back or I’d probably lose my nerve and run to the house.
So, straightening my back, I walked to the buggy, again wondering what Noah would think seeing me dressed like this. I didn’t have to wait long, because he leaned out the buggy door to get a better look as I approached.
His raccoon eyes raked up and down quickly several times, causing that pleasant fluttering to replace the icky feeling I’d been harboring for two days. Then a broad grin erupted on his lips.
“I don’t know how it’s possible to make an Amish dress look beautiful, but you can sure do it.” He said it right in front of his mom, to my horror.
“Mind your tongue, Noah, or you’ll be having a talk with your father,” Mrs. Miller reprimanded him.
I was heading to the backseat of the buggy, but Noah quickly motioned me to sit next to him with his hand patting the seat beside him.
Nervously, I glanced at his mother, relieved that she smiled with controlled amusement. She said, “That’s fine, Rose. You may sit beside each other. I’ll ride in the back.”
This was all too weird. I grasped the hand Noah offered and climbed carefully in beside him, trying not to jostle his metal brace. For all the strangeness of sitting in the buggy with the funny dress and cap on, when I gazed up at Noah, all those feelings disappeared.
With him beside me, everything felt right—perfect, to be exact.
Not letting go of my hand, he bent forward and whispered in my ear, “I love you so much, Rose. Everything’s going to be fine now.” His smile filled me with confidence and hope. The squeeze of his hand gave me strength.
Nodding my head softly, I murmured, “I know. I believe you, Noah.”
“Wait, Rose. Wait!” It was Justin. He was running from the house with little Hope bouncing in his arms. I held back another urge to cry, thinking how I’d miss the furry little booger. When my brother reached the buggy, he did something totally unexpected and wonderful, by holding the ball of fluff up to me.
“She’s your puppy. You should take her with you to keep you company.” His voice sounded more self-assured than I’d ever heard from him, and his face was set with conviction.
“Are you sure, Justin?” My heart hammered in my chest, hopeful.
“Yeah, you can bring her when you visit. And, Rose?”
Taking Hope from his grasp and settling her into the extra folds of my dress, I looked down at him with fondness. “Yes?”
“Can I come see you?” he asked worriedly, glancing down at the gravel.
“Of course you can, Justin. Anytime at all.”
He looked up then with a relieved smile. “Okay, I’ll see you later.”
And with a last big grin for me he whipped around, jogging back to the house.
Sam was waiting for him at the door with a sour face, and I promptly looked straight ahead, breathing in deep. Noah’s hand squeezed mine, reminding me he was there with me, and I wasn’t alone. But I couldn’t help swallowing hard, struggling to keep the tears in.
As if he was afraid I was about to change my mind, he let go of my hand and taking up the long reins, suddenly flicked them. The buggy lurched forward, sending me back against the cushioned seat with a jolt. Making a wide turn, we passed Lady, who had stopped her grazing to prance along the fence as we went by. Jacob was coming back for my mare later that day. Noah had promised me the Hershbergers had a nice field and barn for her. With my horse and puppy with me, I wouldn’t be alone at the Amish house after all, and that made me feel more confident still.
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