I didn’t bother to point it out now. He knew what he was saying. And just like with Kent, I realized this was all one big chess game of politics and word manipulation. I wasn’t surprised by it. Peter had warned me of it many times. But I was disappointed Xander was playing it with me now.
“And afterward?” I demanded. “Last night, you could have come by and explained it all. What stopped you?”
“I…” He trailed off then ran a hand through his hair impatiently. “It’s complicated. There are things you don’t understand about the Zorovian people. Our way of life, our customs. It’s not as simple as Earth was for you.”
I bristled at that. “Look, I might not know very much about how things work here, but one thing I can tell you for sure: Earth was not simple. Don’t talk down to me just because I don’t understand royal protocol. The fact is you lied and kept secrets from me. And from the way it sounds, you don’t really feel bad about doing it. So I’m not really sure what you want me to say here.”
“You’re right,” he said which surprised me into silence. “I should have told you the moment we met. But you’re also right about the secrets and I won’t apologize for them, not when I keep them for the good of our people.”
“You don’t decide what’s best for them anymore,” I said. “Not by yourself.”
“And who does?” he shot back, arching a brow. “You? You think a few years of training exercises and you’re ready for something like that?”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked through clenched teeth.
“Nothing. I shouldn’t have said that.” Except that he didn’t look very sorry. “Look, you should find Peter and tell him about Kent. Do all the training you can. There are people here that want to challenge your capabilities, and before you ask, no, I’m not one of them.”
“Are you sure? Because it sounded to me like—”
“People like Kent,” he said, cutting me off. “And others. They’ll use whatever they can to discredit you to the council. Don’t give them a reason to, all right?”
“The throne belongs to me,” I said with just enough uncertainty to keep my anger in check. Was Xander going to try to keep it from me?
“I know.” He reached out and cupped my shoulders. “We’re on the same side,” he added.
“Are we?” I muttered.
“Alina…” His shoulders sagged like he was holding back.
I hesitated and then asked the question that mattered more than any of them. “Do you agree with Kent?”
“About what?” he asked but he dropped his hands and I knew he understood.
“Do you think I’m unfit to lead?”
“I don’t know you anymore,” he said quietly. “So, I can’t answer that. The girl I knew before… She was a leader—unquestionably.”
“Do you really think I’ve changed that much?” I asked.
He shrugged. “No, but I think you want time to decide if this is what you really want.” He paused and I couldn’t bring myself to ask if he meant the throne—or him. Then he added, “Besides, it doesn’t matter what I think. It only matters what you think of yourself.”
I nodded, pretending to turn and take in the scenery. It wasn’t fair to be disappointed by his answer, not when he was right. He didn’t know me. None of them did. Hell, in this new world, I wasn’t sure I knew myself.
“You did the right thing, though.”
I turned back and cocked my head at him. “What’s that?”
“Don’t tell Kent about your real power. The way it can burn and boil. Don’t tell anyone.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“Just because we’re all Zorovian doesn’t mean everyone here wants to be your friend,” he said carefully.
“Do you?” I blurted the question before I could even think to stop myself.
But Xander didn’t look surprised; only uncomfortable which was somehow worse. “I’m not your enemy, Alina, but I don’t think I could ever really be your friend.”
My chest ached, but I forced myself to nod. “Well, at least you’re finally being honest,” I heard myself say. The words poured out all on their own, like my brain and my lips weren’t connected at all anymore. “I mean, it explains why you were so cold to me before and then when we got here you totally ignored me. So I guess it helps that you’d clarify it now. We can both just go our separate ways and—”
I was silenced as his mouth crashed against mine.
My entire body went still as Xander filled my senses. His lips were hard, demanding—and delicious. His hands came up to cup my shoulders then my cheeks as if he thought I might bolt. And his smell. I breathed in the scent of leather and rain that was distinct to him and then sighed against his mouth, already leaning in for more.
It didn’t matter that he was holding secrets. And it didn’t matter that I’d wanted to bang his head against a tree earlier. Just like our almost-kiss a day ago, the moment his lips touched mine, the only thing I knew was how he made me feel. In his arms, lip-to-lip, I felt weightless.
Heat spread from our joined mouths and down my body until it curled between my legs. Desire held me against him just as easily as his hands did. I never wanted it to end.
But it was over just as suddenly as it had begun.
“I can’t,” he said, tearing himself away so abruptly I almost fell.
“Why not?” I asked, too dazed by the whole thing to even be hurt.
“You don’t understand the politics here yet,” he said in a rough voice. His eyes flashed, angry at something—me?
I blinked, struggling to understand what he wasn’t saying.
“What do politics have to do with kissing?” I asked.
He huffed, taking a deep breath and then shoving it out again as he stared back at me. “Everything,” he said, and before I could figure out what that meant, he turned and walked away.
Chapter Fourteen
I didn’t go after Xander. If I did, there was a good chance I’d either kiss him or kill him—and I didn’t want to be responsible for the consequences of either one. I let him go and concentrated on deep breathing until I could think past the fact that I’d been insulted so thoroughly and then distracted from it by being turned on so completely.
Also, how was I so melty over one stupid kiss?
It wasn’t fair.
It also wasn’t a question I could answer by continuing to stand awkwardly in the middle of the woods. So, in the end, I reminded myself why I’d come out here in the first place and traipsed onward.
As I walked, I opened the mental connection with Nightingale and was glad to find her happily grazing in a grove of trees not far from me. I was equally glad she was too distracted by the delicious fruit to pay much attention to my mental chaos.
When I got close enough to see her through the thick layer of leaves, I called a silent hello. Archer was nowhere in sight which made me wonder—but also meant I could keep the second apple for myself. I held out the first one as I approached.
You look well-fed, I told her with a laugh as she gobbled up my gift with zero hesitation.
She smacked her lips in response but I could hear her worrying that she’d done something wrong by being here.
You can roam free around here, I assured her. No more fences for you, girl.
Nightingale let out a whinny of excitement, and I laughed as I stepped closer. I think our newfound freedom should be celebrated by conducting a formal exploration of this place. You in?
Nightingale swung around and then stopped, clearly waiting for me to climb on.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” I said aloud.
Swinging up onto Nightingales back, I urged her to the right—the opposite direction of town. And Xander. Nightingale reluctantly left the fruit grove behind. The trees were too thick to go very fast here, but soon, we emerged into a large, open field.
I need speed, I told Nightingale. How about you?
Her response was to break into a gallop, and I held on tight as
we flew over the dark, mossy ground. In the distance, rolling hills rose into hazy mountains. Not quite the cliffs of Arizona, especially with the ringed planets that hung heavy in the sky just above their peaks, but gorgeous in a totally different sort of way.
Nightingale must have agreed the way she aimed straight for them.
The wind, the openness and the way the air slid over my skin, was exactly what I needed. I threw my head back, giving in to the weightless sensation as Nightingale went faster and faster.
With the next inhale of air into my lungs, I did my best to savor the moment. The solitude. The speed.
The independence.
I committed every single second to memory for later.
Despite Peter’s note about freedom, I had a feeling the moment I went back to town, people were going to start expecting things from me. And if Xander was right, not all of them had trustworthy intentions either.
I’d never doubted for a second my life as a royal wouldn’t be nearly as luxurious as fairy tales suggested. But I also hadn’t banked on the fact that if I wanted the life I’d been born for, I was going to have to fight for it, starting with navigating the treachery Xander had warned me about.
Hopefully he was just being dramatic.
He certainly had a flair for dramatic kisses.
I also considered the idea that he was playing me in order to keep his own position of power, but that didn’t feel right. I couldn’t explain how I knew it or why I trusted him, but I did. Implicitly. It wasn’t just the fact that his eyes called out to me, like whatever secrets he’d buried beneath the surface were only meant for my heart. He’d saved my life from that Shadow, too, but more than that, he’d meant what he said about continuing to protect me here.
I just wish I knew from what.
Nightingale and I spent the rest of the afternoon exploring the woods. Between the landscape and the animals that filled it, there was so much color to see. A bright red bird with a neon green mohawk sat perched high above me singing a flute-like medley as we passed underneath. Climbing the trunk of what might have been a lemon tree, I spotted bright yellow worms, reminding me of the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland. When I looked closer, I saw the fruit hanging from the branches weren’t lemons at all but cocoons filled with more of the brightly colored worms. Insects, like flies but ten times bigger, buzzed in my ear, just as annoying as the irritating bug they reminded me of on Earth.
But this wasn’t Earth.
This was Bardawulf. Light years away from the planet—and the life—I’d left behind. Nothing here was the same. I had freedom, but I also had the weight of an entire people counting on me to save them. I could imagine what Peter would say to that. Something about it being a fair trade for leaving the humans behind and to stop whining already. The thought made me smile.
When the sun dipped behind the mountain peaks in the distance, I turned Nightingale for home, relaxed, and prepared to face whatever was next.
The return trek went quickly.
Nightingale found her way right back to the fruit grove where I’d first found her. The moment I dismounted, she wandered the few steps to a shallow stream and drank her fill. Then she went right back to munching mouthfuls of leaves and fruit right off the trees. It made me happy to see her able to wander so freely.
With one last pat on her rump, I left her to it.
I didn’t get far before the sound of voices sent me veering off the path to investigate. The sun had dipped beyond the horizon now, and the sky had darkened to a deep blue as the last of the light died around me. I followed the sounds, quieting my footsteps and sticking to the cover of the branches.
It wasn’t hard to remain hidden here, not in the growing darkness. Even with a thousand stars twinkling overhead and an impossibly close moon hanging above, nighttime was a lot darker here than it had been even in the deserts of Arizona. I moved slowly, picking my way around the brush that was no more than a silhouette now. When I came to the edge of the woods, I stopped and peered out into an open field just beyond. From here, making out the figures through the trees was easy thanks to a bright, glowing light emanating from their direction.
I paused, observing the scene from the cover of the trees. Beyond where I stood, the forest ended, and a field sprawled narrow and long. A few paces into the open space, a dozen or so kids stood talking in a loose circle. In the center stood a glowing girl who lit the whole scene as if it were midday. She was around my age. They all were, I realized after a cursory study of their faces. But there was something much more serious about them than the kids I’d grown up with on Earth. The way they argued and even the way they moved—they’d had training. Like me.
I thought of Peter’s letter. His encouragement to get out and meet the people. “No time like the present,” I muttered to myself. And then, before I could chicken out, I stepped out of the trees and stood before them.
Immediately, they all stopped talking to stare at me. “Um. Hi.” I attempted a smile but none of them returned it. A few eyebrows shot up. A couple of whispers sounded.
Maybe my pronunciation had been wrong; I’d tried using the Zorovian language. Or maybe it was just me. Did empresses jump out of the woods at night and try to make friends with absolute strangers?
Maybe this had been a mistake.
The glowing girl in the center spoke and stopped me from bolting back into the woods. “Hey, you must be Alina.” She spoke accented English, and I sighed, grateful to switch back especially considering I didn’t know much beyond the hello I’d given them.
Her dark brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail that bounced as she approached me. Her brown eyes seemed friendlier than some of the others that watched our exchange.
“That’s me,” I said, my gaze bouncing from face to face. None of them were quite as friendly as hers.
She held out her hand, and we shook. “I’m Jalene. It’s nice to meet you. Well, I mean, we’ve met before, but the word on the street is that you don’t remember.”
I winced. “Yeah, sorry about that.”
“Don’t be.” She shrugged. “You’re alive. That’s what matters.”
“Actually, she’s our twelfth, and that’s what matters,” another voice called out.
A few people snickered.
Jalene grinned and glanced back at the others before turning to me again. “We were just getting together a game of night wars. Want to play?”
I hesitated. What the hell was night wars?
Before I could answer, Jalene leaned in and lowered her voice. “It’s not nearly as violent as it sounds. Basically, it’s tag with lots of shit-talking.”
“Got it,” I said, trying to hide my relief. “Sure,” I added, louder now.
“Awesome. Alina’s playing,” called out a boy near the front of the group. He looked the same age as me, but he was tall as hell and built like a linebacker.
“Um, is there tackling in this game?” I asked.
“Not usually,” he shot back with a wink. “But for you, I can arrange it.”
Jalene rolled her eyes. “Shut it, Mallone. She’s on your team, anyway.”
Mallone pouted, but he didn’t argue. “At least she’s got long legs,” he said with a shrug.
“Come on.” Jalene rolled her eyes then motioned for me to follow her as she rejoined the circle.
One by one, she pointed out the others as she quickly told me their names. I only caught a couple of them. Mallone, the brick wall, was first. He winked at me again, and when I rolled my eyes, he laughed. The slender blond boy beside him was Ben. He was clearly the youngest in the group. Twelve, maybe? Thirteen? He smiled at me as Jalene introduced him, but it was a much different smile than Mallone’s. Straight-forward. Open. Platonic. I smiled back.
The muscular, raven-haired boy with charcoal skin was Tyson and the petite redhead beside him was Taryn. There were several other names rattled off, but that was all I committed to memory by the time Jalene was done.
After that, I tr
ied my best to keep up as Jalene launched into an explanation of the game. She was right though. It was basically tag.
“The hunter has to keep their light on at all times while hunting. If you’re tagged, you turn your glow on and become the hunter. The game is over when everyone’s lost their team. Any questions?”
“You said there were teams?” I asked.
Jalene nodded. “The hunted are split into three teams. You’re on team two with Mallone and Ben.”
“Thank the Goddess,” Taryn muttered. I caught her looking at me with a mix of relief and disgust.
I frowned. Had I done something to offend her already?
Our eyes met and held. Something rippled through me, and I realized it was the same thing reflected in Taryn. Recognition. But then she blinked and turned away and whatever memories we’d been holding between us were gone.
I tuned back into Jalene’s continued explanation, utterly confused. “As a team, you can use whatever gifts you have to mislead or elude the hunters. But if one of you gets tagged, you alone become the hunter and you lose your team—unless you take them as hostages.”
“Hostages?” I repeated, not quite sure what that meant.
“You can capture your team and force them to use their gifts for your own gain,” Jalene explained. “It’s meant to simulate an actual battle.”
“That’s why it’s called night wars,” Taryn, the redhead, said sarcastically. Clearly, I’d disappointed her with such a stupid question.
“It’s all about strategy,” Ben explained.
“It’s about stealth,” Mallone corrected.
“And you two have neither one,” said Taryn.
“Your mom has neither one,” Mallone shot back.
Taryn rolled her eyes and marched past the boys before turning to look at Jalene expectantly. They all did.
“I think that’s it. Oh, and don’t leave the boundaries of the field,” Jalene added. “Got it?”
The group murmured their agreement, all of them poised and ready to run.
I did a quick scan of the field but any trace of sunlight was gone now, making it impossible to come up with a strategy or even a direction at this point. Everywhere I looked, silhouettes of brush rose up. I hadn’t noticed them before, but farther out, all around us, bushes and various plants dotted the ground, offering a small amount of cover—or at least the chance of confusing whoever the hunter ended up being. None of the plants were higher than my waist, but if I laid flat, they’d provide some semblance of cover.
The Girl Who Called The Stars (The Starlight Duology Book 1) Page 13
