by Ashley York
“Not enough?”
“Niall, my brother, his protection was different. Sean’s protection felt like his life depended on it. Like he would die for me.”
Tisa’s heart tightened.
“I liked the passion that flared in his eyes when he argued with me. And when he kissed me...I felt the heat singe me all the way down to my toes. I dinna want him to let me go. Ever.”
“He must have felt the same.”
“He told me he’d lusted after me.”
Tisa longed to know Tadhg in this same way. To have him take her in his arms. To have him tell her he lusted after her. Listening to the details, her eyes drifted shut and she imagined Thomasina’s story was her own.
“He took me in his arms and held me to his solid length. His arms like home. Safe.”
So safe in his strong arms.
“His mouth on mine was as sweet as the summer sun after a storm.”
His warm breath on her face. His lips on hers.
“He made me want him even closer.”
Held so close, tight against his hard length.
“I fell in love with him.”
Tisa sighed aloud. Thomasina looked back at her. “Are ye finished?”
She opened her eyes and dropped the damp hair. “Aye.”
Thomasina ducked beneath the water then stood in the tub, sloshing the excess water down her body. Tisa held the wool for her to wrap herself in. She settled beside the fire.
“Will ye like to use the water as well? ‘Tis still warm.”
No one cared if she was clean. Darragh’s baths had become the norm but she seldom had an opportunity for one herself.
Tisa smiled, a conspiratorial smile. “I would like that.”
“Do ye need help with yer gown?”
Tisa snorted. She had become quite adept at removing her own gown and did so with no trouble, tossing it onto the rushes.
“Well done.”
“Can ye assist me with my hair?”
“Certainly.” Thomasina watched as she dropped into the water. “Ye have lovely skin. Methinks yer husband must enjoy its softness.”
He had never said as much. Tisa dipped below the surface. “So ye were dressed as a lad?”
Thomasina sat by the tub, gathering Tisa’s hair in one hand, rubbing the soap with the other.
“Aye. So no one would ken I was a woman.”
“Did it work?”
“Sean said others dinna ken I was a woman.”
“It must have been scary to pretend to be a man.”
“It made me feel sort of free.”
“Truly?”
“Except for the damn tying and yanking up and all that. Men look at ye not at all when they believe ye’re another man.”
Not all men. “Methinks it would be nice to go about unnoticed.”
Thomasina became quiet. She rubbed Tisa’s neck, scrubbing into her scalp. The water was getting chilled but Tisa was in no hurry to end the attention.
“Tisa. Can I ask ye something?” Thomasina’s voice was quiet.
Tisa dunked under the water to rinse her hair. Thomasina was certainly persistent.
When Tisa came back up, she pulled her hair over her shoulder and said, “I will try to answer if I can.”
“When Sean takes me...I want it to never end. I feel so vulnerable. Like he kens my soul. Is that bad?”
Tisa took a quiet breath, suddenly overwhelmed with the depth of her sadness. There was no one that cared for her. No one knew her soul. No one would ever know her soul. She would always be alone. And she longed for those feelings like she had never longed for anything in her life. She had no idea what Thomasina spoke of but she knew in her heart those feelings could never be bad.
“Methinks Sean treasures ye, Thomasina. He loves ye deeply and when he takes ye, he can show ye what words canna convey. He shows ye the depth of his love, how he feels about ye. Ye’re a blessed woman to have a husband who feels that way about ye.”
Thomasina teared up, her lip quivered, but she nodded.
Tisa forced herself to swallow down her own feelings and smiled. “I think ye are a wise woman. Return his love. Dunna hold back.”
Tisa knew she would have done the same if she’d had the chance. She stood abruptly and stepped out of the tub. Darragh opened the door at the same time. Thomasina tightened the wool around herself. His eyes narrowed as if to figure out who she was before his gaze landed on Tisa’s face. No wayward glance. No look of appreciation.
“What do ye here?” he asked.
“Does it not look like we’re bathing?” Tisa responded.
“Then ye heard there’s to be a feast tonight?” Darragh went past to the table without another glance her way. “I hoped to wear that leine ye stitched for me.”
He poked around inside the chest.
“Are ye done with it yet?”
Thomasina’s narrowed gaze sent off warning bells. Surely it couldn’t matter if this woman noticed that Tisa’s husband did not look on her with love or any other emotion. Totally bared, he hadn’t looked on her at all.
“Here it is.” His tone triumphant, he shook it out in front of him, admiring the row of leaves and elder blossoms she had embroidered around the hem. “‘Tis lovely, Tisa.”
He slipped behind the curtain and reappeared with the darker leine. “Father has ordered my presence immediately and ye are to come as soon as ye are able.”
He flashed a smile toward Thomasina and went out the same way he’d come.
Tisa still stood beside the tub, the water droplets chilling her skin. “That was my husband. Darragh.”
Thomasina nodded, a guilty expression on her face.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
~
SEAN LEANED BACK AGAINST the wall behind the head table. The night had fallen quickly and he was anxious to see Thomasina again. Mayhap he needed to go out and find her.
“And then the man fell.”
Aodh’s storytelling had been going on for nigh two hours and Sean was tired of hearing this arrogant man’s voice.
Sean emptied his wooden mug and stood. He was about to ask where he might find Tisa and Thomasina but the door opened. A tall man entered wearing a dark leine, etched with delicate flowers along the bottom. He recognized Tisa’s handiwork. This must be her husband.
“Darragh! Come, come.” Aodh approached his son with an outstretched arm. “I have someone for ye to meet.” He urged him closer to Sean. “This is my son, Darragh.”
Sean’s unease deepened as the man’s eyes traveled the length of him, taking in his imposing height and the breadth of his chest with a great deal of appreciation. Darragh’s nostrils flared and he filled his chest. A small smile of pleasure on his lips when his eyes finally found Sean’s face.
Sean clamped his jaw tight.
“And who is this?” Darragh’s voice sounded breathy and his father turned a scowl on him.
“This is Sean. He comes from yer wife’s father.”
Darragh shook his head as if clearing his mind. He finally looked at his father whose fury was barely contained.
“Tisa’s father? Is he not well?” Darragh asked.
Sean crossed his arms and did not cover his angry tone. “Methinks he will be much worse when I return to him.”
Aodh turned his attention to Sean, reaching up to wrap an arm around his shoulders. “Come. Come. No need to concern Roland with events here. Let us relax and feast. Malcolm!”
Aodh struggled for some sort of control. Darragh had the decency to look away from Sean’s intimidating glare. How could Roland marry his daughter off to a sodomite? He did not believe there was any chance Roland was not aware of it. The man did little to hide his interest. Breandan crossed into the room, saw Sean, and turned about to exit, setting off even more warning bells.
“Breandan,” Sean called to the boy. Darragh immediately averted his gaze and followed his father to the head trestle.
The boy stopped as if deciding whether he would an
swer Sean. Sean made the choice simple by coming up behind him.
“Look at me.”
Breandan’s guilty expression shifted to irritation. “I have duties, Sean. Why do ye delay me?”
“I see ye have come to live here as well as Tisa. Who else is here from the O’Brien Clan?”
The young man sighed, his shoulders rounding. “Caireann has come as well.”
“And do ye keep yer company with Caireann? Or only with Darragh as ye did in the guard tower?”
Sean was gratified to see the unmistakable reddening of Breandan’s face.
“Think ye we dinna ken what ye were about?”
Breandan heaved his shoulders up. “Methinks it matters little here.”
“And why would that be?”
“I have been well received.”
“Have ye? And would this be to yer own mistress’ detriment?”
“Sean! Come,” Aodh called from his seat.
“We will discuss this later.” Sean turned to the table. Aodh sat beside a man Sean had not met yet. Aodh directed Sean to take the seat between him and his son.
“I will await my wife.”
“She’ll be here anon. I met her with my own wife but a short time ago.” Darragh spoke up, his eyes fixed on Sean’s face now. His eyes wide and innocent.
“Methinks I will see what keeps her.” Sean turned away, ignoring the assurances offered as he made his way outside.
Twilight was quickly taking over. The moon clouded over by heavy, snow clouds. No doubt, the return home would be delayed. Soldiers passed by. Sean recognized the leathered man from earlier this morning. He swaggered toward the longhouse, surrounded by lesser men who all but bowed down to him. Definitely imposing.
Sean took a deep, cleansing breath. Snow would there by morning. He hoped there was a warm place for Thomasina and him to bed down. A light behind the longhouse drew his attention. A door opening. He went toward it. Thomasina and Tisa walked side by side in close conversation. His heart went out to Tisa that she had been wed to a man who found satisfaction in other men’s arms. She deserved so much better.
“Mo chroí go deo thú.”
Thomasina’s face lit up when she saw Sean and he opened his arms to her. He had missed the feel of her beside him. She held him close then stepped away unexpectedly. A discreet distance.
“What are ye about?” Sean asked.
“We’ve been visiting,” Tisa said.
“And I had a nice long soak with rose-scented soap.” Thomasina winked at him. A rush of anticipation washed over him when he thought of finding all the places where the scent might have lingered.
“Lilith offered me the same,” Sean said. He moved to stand between them, offering an arm to each lady. “Let us partake of the evening meal. They may start the feast without us if we dunna hurry.”
They sped up along the path just as a light snow drifted down. The mavis evening song sounded in the distance. Tisa stopped. She searched at her side.
“Oh no! Please, go on without me. I have forgotten something. I will be but a moment.”
Thomasina grabbed her hand. “We will go back with ye.”
“Nae! No need. Please. Make my excuses. I will be but a moment.”
Thomasina and Sean exchanged glances.
“If that is what ye would have us do,” Sean said.
“It is. Go. I will be there anon.”
Tisa headed back the way they’d gone but listened for the bang of the longhouse door. There it was.
She turned toward the forest and ducked low into the darkness.
“Hello?”
No answer. The bird call was the signal of danger. Soldiers were about. Mayhap there was something she could do to help. Whatever they needed, Malcolm would be at the meal with Aodh and unable to offer any assistance. The children would need her.
“Will?” Tisa whispered and moved deeper into the darkness. The moon was well covered by clouds. There was little she could make out. She closed her eyes and willed her ears to listen harder. A child sobbing in the distance. Her eyes flew open. It was Aednat.
She followed the direction of the sound, the cold air snapping the twigs beneath her feet. The sobbing stopped just as Tisa came upon her.
“Tisa?” Aednat whispered, her breath misting in front of her. She lay on the ground, the well-worn blanket Tisa had managed to sneak out to her wrapped tight around her. Her small arm held out in an awkward way.
“What has happened, sweetling?”
“There was a man on a horse. I could not get out of the way fast enough. I was knocked down.”
Tisa picked up the little hand, feeling for the soundness of the bones within. “Did the rider not see ye?”
“I dunna ken for certain. ‘Twas very dark. He did not stop.”
Aednat cried out in pain.
“Oh, I’m sorry little one.” The bone in her wrist was twisted at an awkward angle. Tisa lifted her into her arms. “Let me get ye to the others. Which way?”
“But, mistress, Malcolm told us never to show ye where we stay. He fears for ye.”
“And I fear for ye!” Tisa’s firm tone had to dissuade the little girl. “I will bring ye to safety. Here or my own home. But I will see ye safe.”
Aednat pointed and Tisa followed the directions as she walked. A strong wind swept down the ravine at them, making it hard to keep her eyes open with the debris blowing into her face.
“There.” Aednat pointed to the side of a hill.
Tisa continued forward not seeing the opening to the cave until the last instant.
“Will!” Tisa called and the boy quickly came out from the shadows of the cave.
“What do ye here? Malcolm will be angry with us.” There was fear in his voice.
“Aednat has been hurt. Trampled by a horse. I had to get her to ye.” She followed Will who disappeared through a gap so narrow she had to turn sideways to get through. It opened into a wider part of the cave. A small fire glowed in the center, warming the room. The eyes from those sitting in the darkness locked on to her, following her movements. There were maybe ten others but none of them spoke. Their faces obscured. Will directed her to a small blanket and she settled the small girl on top.
Tisa straightened the girl’s arm in hopes of alleviating her pain. Aednat winced.
“Do ye have anything cold I can put on her wrist? I think it may be broken.”
A tall woman came from the shadows, bringing a wooden bucket for Will. “Fill this with water from the spring.” She turned to Tisa. “That water is very cold.”
“Grandmother!” Aednat cried anew and the woman hunkered beside her, stroking her hair.
“Shh, my dear. The pain ‘twill pass.”
She had long, black hair sprinkled with silver and bright eyes that reflected the firelight.
“My thanks. The cold water will ease her pain,” Tisa said.
She glanced around for the basket of herbs she’d given them a few days earlier. Many had bone healing powers.
“So ye are Darragh’s wife?”
Tisa stilled. “I am.”
Their eyes met. “Aednat spoke of meeting ye.”
Tisa grabbed the basket tucked under a low spot against the wall.
“I wish ye well with him,” the older woman said.
“My thanks.” Tisa rummaged through the basket, glad to not have to face the woman at this moment.
“He is my son.”
Tisa jerked her head up, her eyes widening from shock.
The woman smiled. A quiet smile. “I am Aodh’s wife.”
Aodh’s wife? The glow from the firelight revealed wide set eyes and high cheekbones. She was beautiful.
“His wife? But ye live here?”
Sean and Thomasina met her but she lived among the outcasts?
She dipped her head and swallowed as if choosing her words carefully, “I am Aodh’s true wife. I stood beside him while he made his plans to take over as chieftain. Then I was set aside so that he could clai
m the chieftain’s daughter as his wife.” She sneered. “His attempt to placate the elders who would have chosen another to lead.”
“I am...sorry for ye.” Tisa pressed the small sack of leaves and twigs into the other woman’s frail hand. “This can be boiled in water. It will help the bones to heal.”
“I will see to it. Ye need to go back.”
“I canna go back. I need to see to her wrist.”
“Go before they come looking for ye.” The woman moved toward the fire.
Will dropped the heavy bucket alongside Tisa. She ripped off a piece of her under dress and soaked it in the cold water. Her mind whirled. This was Darragh’s mother? She had so many questions for her. Giving the cloth a final squeeze, Tisa carefully laid it across Aednat’s wrist.
“Mistress,” Will said. He placed a gentle hand on Tisa’s arm. “If they find ye missing, they will search for ye even here.”
Darragh’s mother returned with a wooden mug, the pungent aroma of the steeping herbs filling the small space. “Ye brought her to us. We will care for her now.”
Tisa looked between the two of them then glanced back at Aednat, her face contorted with pain. She settled beside the little girl. “Oh, sweet thing. Can ye remember what the horse looked like?”
“It was the black one with the silver chain around its neck. The one the leathered man rides.”
Gerrit.
“Thank ye. Rest,” Tisa addressed the old woman, “what is yer name?”
“I am called Aoife.”
“My thanks, Aoife. Aednat, I will come back to check on ye.”
Will went with Tisa to the entrance of the cave. Even without Aednat in her arms the passage was nearly too narrow for passing.
She leveled her gaze on him. “Ye must let me ken if she gets worse.”
“I will.”
Tisa tried to feel some relief in that. “Will Aoife follow my instructions?”
“She will. Dunna fash yerself.”
Every bit of her said to stay but she forced herself to walk away. If Aednat worsened, she would never forgive herself. She headed back the way they’d come. Slipping on the ice-slicked path, she fell hard to her knees. The snow came down faster now and she wrapped the wool tight around her, pulling it over her head to keep out the stinging cold. The wind whistled by, snapping the limbs overhead as they were tossed about. She stopped to get her bearings but found she couldn’t be certain which direction she’d come from or which direction to take to even return to the cave.
