by Howard Marks
My health improved, and I became so full of life and energy and good spirits, that everyone noticed the change in me. No one suspected that I had been using morphia, they had put the change in me, from the health and spirits which I had when I first arrived to the listless and dreamy stage I had been in for some time, to malaria.
The increased brilliance of my eyes, due to the cocaine, appeared only to be an excessive state of good health and vitality.
I now experienced even greater pleasure from the indulgence in cocaine, than I had experienced when commencing to use morphia; and the fact that I had been able to give up the latter so easily filled me with pride, because in the last week or two I had read a good deal about the drug habit. I was studying a book by an Indian writer, which the babu had lent me.
It is true that I was now using cocaine, instead of morphia, but then cocaine is much easier to give up than morphia. The deprivation does not cause such distressing and terrible symptoms. I had not yet discovered the perfect cure for all drug habits, this was to come later, but just out of curiosity I tried a beginner’s dose of morphia again, and I found that it had regained all the potency and effect that it had when I was first introduced to it.
Cocaine, I found, banished all desire for sleep, and as loss of proper sleep is one of the reasons why the drug quickly ruins the health, I saw the doctor about it.
I had become very friendly with him, and perhaps because I treated him differently from the way most Europeans treated the educated Indian in those days – by affecting to consider them as inferiors – he imparted to me knowledge about many strange drugs and their effects. He had devoted many years to the study of this subject, and it was due to him that I first got my great idea, with which I will deal in succeeding chapters.
He next Initiated me into the art of smoking opium in the Chinese fashion and I found that a few pipes of this, smoked just before retiring, procured me a refreshing and sound sleep, which is essential to the cocaine addict, but is so seldom obtained.
The opium is smoked in a manner which has been so often described in books that I will not say much about it here. Opium has the appearance of thick black treacle before it is cooked on a skewer, over a small spirit lamp, until it becomes the consistency of cobblers’ wax. This is then rolled into a pellet the size of a large pea, and stuck on the pipe bowl with the skewer. When the latter is withdrawn there remains a small hole through the centre of the pellet.
The pipe, which is a hollow bamboo, is then held over the flame and the smoke sucked into the lungs. The effect is extremely soothing and sleep-producing, more so than any other drug, and it is a mistake to think that it produces dreams. When once the smoker is asleep, it is a sound and dreamless sleep. It is preceded by a very pleasant, dreamy state, in which the imagination is very active, and everything appears beautiful, so that even an ugly woman would appear charming.
I found that I could vary my dose of cocaine very considerably, and occasionally I would have a regular binge and then bring myself back to normal with the aid of a little morphia injected. I was again in fine health and spirits, and I was becoming more interested in my surroundings. No one suspected that I was using drugs, for there was nothing about my manner to indicate my habit, especially as during the day I used only small doses.
The Dr Babu was a jolly old soul and fond of female society, and frequently when I went over to his bungalow for an evening, I would find him entertaining some of the prettiest girls in the settlement, and sometimes he had ‘Nautch Wallahs’, i.e. professional dancing girls, giving an exhibition. Sometimes, also, there were other entertainers which I will not describe.
In those days I was very young and shy, and many things easily shocked me.
I found cocaine became more and more fascinating as the doses were increasing and time went on. The small doses, such as are taken by a beginner, will produce only a remarkable increase of mental and bodily vigour, with a feeling of great strength, but without any intoxication, but if the dose is considerably increased, a kind of intoxication, which is quite different from that produced by drink, will ensue, a kind of intoxication which I will endeavour to describe later on.
Underworld of the East, 2001
Thomas Szasz
Ceremonial Chemistry
CHEMISTS, PHYSICIANS, PSYCHOLOGISTS, psychiatrists, politicians and pharmaceutical manufacturers have all searched in vain for non-addictive drugs to relieve pain, to induce sleep and to stimulate wakefulness. This search is based on the false premise that addiction is a condition caused by drugs. When a drug deadens pain, induces sleep or stimulates wakefulness, people develop an interest in using such drugs. We call drugs ‘addictive’ simply because people like to use them.
Our contemporary confusion regarding drug abuse and drug addiction is an integral part of our confusion regarding religion. Any idea or act that gives existence meaning and purpose is religious. Since the use and avoidance of certain substances has to do with prescriptions and prohibitions, drug addiction has two aspects: religious (legal) and scientific (medical). As some persons seek or avoid alcohol and tobacco, heroin and marijuana, so others seek or avoid kosher wine and holy water. The differences between kosher wine and non-kosher wine, holy water and ordinary water, are ceremonial, not chemical. Although it would be idiotic to look for the property of kosherness in wine, or for the property of holiness in water, this does not mean that there is no such thing as kosher wine or holy water. Kosher wine is wine that is ritually clean according to Jewish law. Holy water is blessed by a Catholic priest. This creates a certain demand for such wine and water by people who want this sort of thing. At the same time, and for precisely the same reason, such wine and water are rejected by those who do not believe in their use. Similarly, the important differences between heroin and alcohol, or marijuana and tobacco are not chemical but ceremonial. Heroin and marijuana are approached and avoided not because they are more addictive or more dangerous than alcohol and tobacco, but because they are more holy or unholy, as the case may be.
Eighteenth-century medics formed the first factories for manufacturing madmen and developed the earliest advertising campaigns for selling ‘insanity’ by renaming badness as madness, and then offered to dispose of it. They progressively metaphorised disagreeable conduct and forbidden desire as disease – thus creating more and more mental diseases; second, they literalised this medical metaphor, insisting that disapproved behaviour was not merely like a disease, but that it was a disease. By the twentieth century, madness was bursting through the walls of the insane asylums and was being discovered in clinics and doctors’ offices, in literature and art, and in the psychopathology of everyday life. Religion and common sense lost their nerve, no longer able even to try to resist the opportunistic theories and oppressive technologies of modern behavioural science. Those who use drugs are now viewed as unable to help themselves, victims of their irresistible impulses from which they need the protection of others. This made it logical and reasonable for politicians and psychiatrists to advocate drug controls.
Presumably some persons have always ‘abused’ certain drugs – alcohol for millennia, opiates for centuries. However, only in the twentieth century have certain patterns of drug use been labelled as ‘addictions’. Traditionally, the term ‘addiction’ has meant simply a strong inclination towards certain kinds of conduct, with little or no pejorative meaning attached to it. Thus, the Oxford English Dictionary offers such pre-twentieth-century examples of the use of this term as being addicted to ‘civil affairs’, to ‘useful reading’ – and also ‘to bad habits’. Being addicted to drugs is not among the definitions listed. The term ‘addiction’ was understood to refer to a habit, good or bad as the case might be, actually more often the former. Although the term ‘addiction’ is still often used to describe habits, usually of an undesirable sort, its meaning has become so expanded and transformed that it is now used to refer to almost any kind of illegal, immoral or undesirable association with certain kinds of
drugs. For example, a person who has smoked but a single marijuana cigarette, or even one who has not used any habit-forming or illegal drug at all, may be considered to be a drug addict. The noun ‘addict’ has lost its denotative meaning and reference to persons engaged in certain habits, and has become transformed into a stigmatising label, possessing only pejorative meaning referring to certain persons. The term ‘addict’ has thus been added to our lexicon of stigmatising labels – such as ‘Jew’, which could mean either a person professing a certain religion or a ‘Christ killer’ who himself should be killed; or ‘Negro’, which could mean either a black-skinned person or a savage who ought to be kept in actual or social slavery. More specifically still, the word ‘addict’ has been added to our psychiatric vocabulary of stigmatising diagnoses, taking its place alongside such terms as ‘insane’, ‘psychotic’ and ‘schizophrenic’.
Ceremonial Chemistry, 1974
This extract has been paraphrased by Howard Marks.
Aleister Crowley
The True Will
King Lamus descended on me one morning, just after I had taken a dose, and was raking my brain for a reason for my action. I was alternately chewing the end of my pencil and making meaningless marks on the paper. I told him my difficulty. ‘Always glad to help,’ he said airily; went to a filing cabinet and produced a docket of typed manuscripts. He put it in my hand. It was headed: ‘Reasons for taking it’.
My cough is very bad this morning. (Note: (a) Is cough really bad? (b) If so, is the body coughing because it is sick or because it wants to persuade you to give it some heroin?)
To buck me up.
I can’t sleep without it.
I can’t keep awake without it.
I must be at my best to do what I have to do. If I can only bring that off, I need never take it again.
I must show I am master of it – free to say either ‘yes’ or ‘no’. And I must be perfectly sure by saying ‘yes’ at the moment. My refusal to take it at the moment shows weakness. Therefore I take it.
In spite of the knowledge of the disadvantages of the heroin life, I am really not sure whether it isn’t better than the other life. After all, I get extraordinary things out of heroin which I should never have got otherwise.
It is dangerous to stop too suddenly.
I’d better take a small dose now rather than put it off till later; because if I do so, it will disturb my sleep.
It is really very bad for the mind to be constantly preoccupied with the question of the drug. It is better to take a small dose to rid myself of the obsession.
I am worried about the drug because of my not having any. If I were to take some, my mind would clear up immediately, and I should be able to think out good plans for stopping it.
The gods may be leading me to some new experience through taking it.
It is quite certainly a mistake putting down all little discomforts as results of taking it. Very likely, nearly all of them are illusions; the rest, due to the unwise use of it. I am simply scaring myself into saying ‘no’.
It is bad for me morally to say ‘no’. I must not be a coward about it.
There is no evidence at all that the reasonable use of heroin does not lengthen life. Chinese claim, and English physicians agree, that opium-smoking, within limits, is a practice conducive to longevity. Why should it not be the same with heroin? It has been observed actually that addicts seem to be immune to most diseases which afflict ordinary people.
I take it because of its being prohibited. I decline being treated like a silly schoolboy when I’m a responsible man. (Note: Then don’t behave like a silly schoolboy. Why let the stupidity of governments drive you into taking the drug against your will? – K.L.)
My friend likes me to take it with her.
My ability to take it shows my superiority over other people.
Most of us dig our graves with our teeth. Heroin has destroyed my appetite, therefore it is good for me.
I have got into all sorts of messes with women in the past. Heroin has destroyed my interest in them.
Heroin has removed my desire for liquor. If I must choose, I really think heroin is the better.
Man has a right to spiritual ambition. He has evolved to what he is, through making dangerous experiments. Heroin certainly helps me to obtain a new spiritual outlook on the world. I have no right to assume that the ruin of bodily health is injurious; and ‘whosoever will save his life shall lose it, but whoever loseth his life for My sake shall find it’.
So-and-so has taken it for years, and is all right.
So-and-so has taken it for years, and is still taking it, and he is the most remarkable man of his century.
I’m feeling so very, very rotten, and a very, very little would make me feel so very, very good.
We can’t stop while we have it – the temptation is too strong. The best way is to finish it. We probably won’t be able to get any more, so we take it in order to stop taking it.
Claude Farrere’s story of Rodolphe Hafner. Suppose I take all this pain to stop drugs and then get cancer or something right away, what a fool I shall feel!
‘Help you at all?’ asked Lamus.
Well, honestly, it did not. I had thought out most of those things for myself at one time or another; and I seemed to have got past them. It’s a curious thing that once you’ve written down a reason you diminish its value. You can’t go on using the same reason indefinitely. That fact tends to prove that the alleged reason is artificial and false, that it has simply been invented on the spur of the movement by oneself to excuse one’s indulgences.
Diary of a Drug Fiend, 1970
There are no differences but differences of degree between different degrees of difference and no difference
William James
Robert Svoboda
Intoxicants
IN AN ORDINARY person the consumption of alcohol will lead to an enkindling of the Jathara Agni. Ayurveda recognises this and prescribes medicinal wines when there is a need to increase the appetite and promote digestion.
An Aghori, though, is not an ordinary person. Aghoris do not live to eat. An Aghori who drinks must drink not to lose his consciousness and become more enmeshed in the world’s Maya, but rather to dilate certain brain cells to increase, not decrease, the awareness. Alcohol should sharpen your mind so much that a problem which might take hours to think out in the normal state can be done instantaneously. It’s the same with every other type of intoxication also: if you can’t control it, don’t do it; you’re sure to scuttle yourself.
When an Aghori takes a lot of intoxicants he feels like going to the smashan and being alone with his thoughts. He becomes more introverted; he feels like telling everyone he meets ‘Leave me alone!’ And if he covers himself with ashes and remains naked and shouts obscenities, no one is likely to come near, and he can be in his mood all day long. This is one of the reasons why Aghoris act the way they do. I used to do it myself.
Aghoris are thrill seekers; that’s it in a nutshell. When I went to the USA in 1981, what was the thing I most enjoyed? The roller coasters! Especially ‘Space Mountain’ at Disney World and the old wooden roller coaster at Circusworld. I could stay on a roller coaster all day! That rush of speed, that excitement! Most people just scream and forget it, just as most people who drink get drunk and pass out, and most people who indulge in sex have an orgasm and go to sleep. But what is the use in that? That is mere bodily indulgence. To be an Aghori you must go beyond all limitations, and the biggest limitation is the limitation of the body. When we Aghoris use thrills, intoxicants and sex we use them to go beyond the body. It is the same way with music. Maybe if I use music as an example you’ll understand what I mean about intoxicants and sex. Music is vibration, just like mantra. You can use it to benefit your sadhana. Any music will work, if it has a nice melody and a good rhythm. I love Jim Reeves because he has both melody and a good rhythm, and also pathos. I enjoy Spanish and Caribbean tunes, and I will even listen to som
e rock music, though much of it is too violent for my purposes. Some of our bigoted Indians say, ‘Only Indian music can make your mind more meditative,’ but that is all bull. It is true that our Indian rhythms are far more advanced in complexity than are the Western ones, and our tunes are much more intricate, but there is something about Western music which makes it particularly useful for getting into certain frames of mind.
Meat is also an intoxicant, by the way. It is just as intoxicating as music, alcohol, marijuana or sex. But it involves killing a sentient being, which I don’t like; I am fond of animals. Besides, when you eat meat you must be in a position to ensure that the animal gets a higher rebirth, if you don’t want to be stained by karma. So it is better to avoid it.
There are three important reasons why Aghoris love to take intoxicants. First, it is a question of challenge and response. It is a contest between the Aghori and the drug: Who is stronger? Will the drug be able to overcome the Aghori’s will and drown his consciousness or will the Aghori be able to control the drug’s effect and bend it to his will. The exhilaration of such a duel is a sublime intoxication in itself.
Second, if the Aghori is able to master the intoxication, the force of the intoxicant magnifies the force of his concentration, since the mind is a chemical phenomenon. As the concentration is strengthened, the image of the deity which is being continually formed in the subtle body is made firmer and clearer, and this brings success at worship all the closer.
Third, Aghoris always worship Shiva, who loves intoxicants. This has a dual-purpose effect. Not only does the Aghori please Shiva by offering Him the intoxicant, but the very act of taking the intoxicant helps the Aghori self-identify with Shiva, since permanent intoxication is one facet of Shiva’s personality. Shiva is intoxicated with samadhi consciousness: We have to work up to His level gradually.
