I laugh and it causes my head to ache. “You knocked Nate out?” My eyes have now adjusted to the darkness and I can see his face, his eyes locked on mine.
“Yeah, I would’ve liked to have done more though. He tricked you, Brennan. He was just trying to get you drunk and alone. He had already told your father about us.”
“What? He knows?”
He nods.
“How do you know? Did he tell you that?”
“He didn’t have to. I would’ve gotten to you sooner, but I had a little visit from your father. He confronted me about it. I lied, but he knew the truth. He searched my fucking house for you. Of course you weren’t here so he didn’t find you, but he found your bra under my bed.”
“Did you tell him it belonged to someone else?”
“I did. He didn’t believe it. He knows, and he told me to stay away from you before punching me in the face and busting my lip.”
I suck in a breath of air as tears burn my eyes. “I can’t believe this. He hit you? Are you hurt?” My hands move up to his face, tracing every line and angle, making sure he’s okay.
“Shhh,” he says, rubbing his hand over my hip and thigh. “We’ll be okay. Just need to give him time to cool down. I mean, you’re an adult. He can’t stop you from being with me.” His lips press gently to my forehead.
I know his words are true, but they’re also wrong. So wrong. I’ve always been taught that family is the most important thing. How can I dishonor my own father’s wishes? The man that sacrificed everything for me. The man that raised me and taught me right from wrong. The man that would bend over backward to help me out at the drop of a hat?
I can’t.
Tears fill my eyes and fall freely, but I cry as quietly as possible. Shortly after, I hear Colton’s deep, even breathing. He’s fallen back asleep. But sleep won’t find me, not easily. All I can do is play out these scenarios in my head of seeing my dad. I see the anger etched into his face. I can imagine the disappointment in his eyes. I can hear my mother crying and asking why I’d do something like this. I can feel the sadness in my chest when I agree to never step foot in this house again.
I want to fight for him, for Milly. For us. But who exactly am I fighting? My parents? How can I fight against them? How could I walk away from them if they present me with the choice of them or Colton? Why is being with Colton so bad? I know there is a big age gap, but why does age matter? We’re both adults. Colton is a good man. He works hard and takes care of his daughter. He treats me well. He’s not like Nate. He doesn’t verbally or physically abuse me. I can look into Colton’s eyes and see the way he feels about me. Even though he hasn’t said it yet, I know he loves me.
My heart feels as though it’s being squeezed. Do I love him? I love the way he looks at me—like I’m the only woman in the world he wants. I love the way he touches me—with soft but firm hands that only ever bring pleasure. I love the way he talks to me—he doesn’t treat me like a child that makes all the wrong decisions like my parents do. When we’re together, it’s just us. The rest of the world fades away. We talk, laugh, play, and make love. That’s what real love is, isn’t it? I never thought when I took this job that I’d fall in love with my boss. I only wanted to be close to him for Milly’s sake. I knew he was older, sexy, and cocky, and my imagination may have run away a little bit, thinking about losing my virginity to him, but I never thought it would happen. I never thought about what would happen if it did. It was always just a fun daydream. Now it’s happened and I’m a goner. I’m in love with Colton and now, I’m going to have to walk away.
How can I walk away from the only man I’ve ever loved? How can I walk out of his little girl’s life? I mean, what is that teaching her? She needs more love and family in her life, not less. She needs to know that she is important and worth sticking around for. Leaving Colton will break my heart, but walking out on Milly, that will end me. I don’t know how I’ll manage to live life without either of them.
I roll to my side and watch as Colton sleeps. When he’s asleep, all his stress and worry fall away. Every wrinkle and frown line ease. This man is not the man I met on that first day. This man is a man who’s healed, who’s happy and in love. I did that. I only hope that when things end, he doesn’t go back to who he was before. I hope that he takes this as a lesson. He didn’t think that he could ever love again, but he has. He’s moved on from his late wife. He can do it again. He can find the real person he’s supposed to be with, find Milly the woman and mother she deserves. I only hope that he can see that through the darkness we’re about to journey into.
Nineteen
Colton
I wake up in the morning and feel out of place. I roll onto my back and see that Brennan is still beside me, lying awake. Her eyes are locked on the ceiling.
“Hey,” I mumble, rolling over and wrapping my arm around her stomach. I pull her closer.
“Morning,” she says softly. She has a serious tone to her voice that I can’t ignore.
“What’s up? You seem…upset.”
She reaches over and picks up her phone that’s on the bedside table. She clicks the button and the screen lights up. She shows me the messages on the front.
Mom: I don’t know where you are, Brennan, but get home now. Your daddy is losing his mind.
Mom: Brennan, how could you start something with that man? This isn’t the daughter I raised. I’m so disappointed in you.
Dad: If you ever want to step foot in this house again, you better get home and deal with this mess you caused, little girl.
I take a deep breath and my eyes flutter closed. I pull her closer and press a kiss to her forehead. I know the choice she’s going to have to make: me or her family. God, I love this woman more than anything. I don’t want to see the pain that choice is going to cause her. It’s killing me to see her struggle right now. I know deep down what I have to do, but it’s going to fucking kill me.
“Go, Brennan,” I tell her, unable to open my eyes and see the hurt look on her face.
“What?” she asks.
“Go.” I finally open my eyes and find her face. Her green eyes are full of tears. The sadness on her face breaks my heart. Pain and heartbreak consume me. “This, it isn’t worth it. Your parents are freaking out. Go and get things settled. I’ll be here when things settle down.”
She shakes her head. “You don’t understand. They won’t allow it. If I leave right now, I won’t be back.” She crawls on top of me, straddling me. “I don’t want to leave you.” Her hands are flat on my chest. She’s only wearing one of my T-shirts, with nothing beneath it. I can feel her hot center pressing against my groin. Even though I know I shouldn’t, I just need to feel her one last time.
My hands move to her hips where I start pulling the shirt up her body. She raises her arms and allows it. Her breasts bounce with the motion, and I can’t think of anything but feeling them, tasting them, making this moment last as long as possible.
I suck her nipple into my mouth and her back arches. Her hands move up to thread her fingers through my hair. She tugs it, keeping me close and refusing to let go. With her still in my mouth, I pick her up and guide her down onto my dick. I’m usually a stickler for condoms, especially now that I have one child and don’t need another, but if this is our last time, I want to feel her with nothing between us.
She can immediately tell the difference. “Oh, Colton,” she breathes out against my lips.
“You like it with nothing between us?” I whisper, lifting her up and guiding her back down.
“Uh-huh,” she moans out as I push her down my length until she’s taken all of me.
Skin against skin is too much. It feels too good. I want to thrust into her as hard and as fast as I possibly can, but I know in doing so, it’ll be over that much sooner. Taking her this way, painfully slow, it’s teasing, the tension building slowly. With her on top of me, I can look up at her and watch as her facial expressions change. I let my hand fall between us, ru
bbing against her clit. Her back arches and her lips part.
“I want to show you what I can really do, sweetheart,” I tell her, watching as her release rises. “I’m not pulling out of you until you fucking beg me to.”
She responds by tightening her muscles around my dick and calling out my name as I rock against her. God, I want to come already, but I don’t allow it. I want her in every position I can think of. I want her sore tomorrow. I want her to think of me with every step and remember how I made her feel. When she thinks of me, I want a tingle to form in her stomach. I want her dripping wet just from my name alone.
I want to see every inch of her body. I want to memorize every dip and curve. I want to touch, tease, taste. She rides out the last wave of her orgasm and kisses me blindly with so much passion, I’m ready to come undone, but no way am I letting that happen already.
“Turn around,” I demand.
Her brows pull together, but she does as I ask. I can’t take my eyes off her perfect ass as she rides me backward, giving me the perfect view of where we’re connecting. When her right hand comes down and cups my balls between her legs, I thrust into her harder, drawing a well-deserved moan from her lips. I reach around her, massaging her breasts, letting my hands glide down her sides and stomach. I hold her by her waist, lifting her up and pulling her back down on me. Her moans rise higher and higher. When she looks over her shoulder at me, her lips parted, her eyes full of lust, I feel like I could come at any minute.
I lift her off of me completely and place her on her knees, entering her from behind. The moment I slide back into her hot center, she leaps forward.
“God, Colton. I didn’t think it was possible for you to feel any bigger,” she says as I’m pushing back inside and making her call out.
“It’s all for you, baby.” I kiss her shoulder blade. “I was made for you.” I take her from behind as my hands feel their way around her body until she comes again. When I remove myself from her a third time, she collapses onto her stomach. I kiss her back, shoulders, and neck until she rolls onto her back. Once there, I take my rightful place between her legs.
“What’s the matter, Brennan? Not ready to quit just yet, I hope.” I take myself in hand and guide my tip into her. She gasps at the sensation.
She whimpers. “No, I want to feel you for a week after this. Don’t stop.”
I push my way into her as my mouth takes hers. Her hands tangle into my hair and mine in hers. I want to give her everything I have. I want to take everything she’s willing to give. And right now, I want nothing more than to explode inside of her and make her mine forever.
As much as I don’t want this to end, it has to. I hold out until I can’t take no more. Finally, unable to hold it back any longer, I pull out and empty myself onto her flat stomach, using my hand to ride out every last wave of pleasure she causes me to feel.
Tired and weak, I fall to her side, breathless.
As soon as I catch my breath and my heart rate is back to normal, I stand and go to the bathroom to get a cloth to clean her off. I wipe my seed from her skin and toss the washcloth into the dirty hamper across the room. As I lay back beside her, she rolls onto her side.
“I’m still not ready.” Her hand cups my jaw, her thumb running back and forth across my bottom lip. “I don’t want this to end.”
I kiss her thumb. “Everything must come to an end, no matter how good it may be,” I tell her, hating myself for saying those words. I don’t want to lose her. I want to keep her forever, but I refuse to make her choose. I’m trying to make this easier on her, even though it’s harder on me.
“This isn’t just good, Colton. It’s meant to be.” There’s honesty brewing in her sparkling green eyes.
“What’s meant to be will always find a way.” I lean forward and capture her mouth with mine, wanting her to know that this is killing me just as much as it is her. Losing her will feel like a painful death. How many times can my heart die in one lifetime? I thought it was completely dead long ago, but she touched it and made it beat again.
She breaks the kiss, and I think she’s getting up to put an end to this, but instead, she moves down my body. She wraps her hand around my dick and moves her mouth to the tip. I feel like I’m spent, like I have nothing left to give, but the way she’s touching me feels too good to stop.
“What are you doing?” I ask quietly.
“I want to taste you. If this is our last time, I want to remember it forever. I want to know your body inside and out.” She slides my tip to the back of her throat, and I groan loving every minute of it. If this is what she wants, this is what she’ll get. I won’t ever deny her.
It’s not long before I’m spilling myself into her mouth, and she swallows every last drop like a seasoned pro. When she pulls away, the look on her face sears itself into my memory: her watery, lust-filled eyes, her red, swollen, glistening lips, her ivory skin, and wild red hair. I tangle my hands into it and pull her mouth up to mine. I can taste myself on her, and that only makes me want her time and time again. If I could spend the rest of my life buried deep inside her, I would without complaint.
She lays her head on my chest, and we spend a few quiet moments just dealing with what’s to come: the moment she leaves and never looks back. With my hand still tangled into her wild hair, I inhale the scent deeply, enjoying the feeling of the silky stands between my fingers, the feeling of her warm skin pressed to mine.
Her phone dings and we both know that means our time is up.
She reaches over me and picks up the phone, holding it so we can both see it.
Dad: I’m out front. Let’s go.
“Come on,” I tell her, sitting up and forcing her up with me. We both stand and pull our clothes on. I tug on my jeans and watch as she slides her feet into her shoes. I open the bedroom door and take her hand, leading her though the house and to the front door. Before opening it, I turn and pull her against me for one last kiss, my hands cupping her face. Our tongues dance together one last time, with the taste of her tears mixing in. I pull away when I feel a sob break in my chest.
“I’ll always be here, Brennan. I’ll always be yours,” I tell her, looking deeply into her eyes.
“And I’ll always be yours,” she replies, pulling away from me completely and opening the door. I lean against the door frame, watching.
Her mother gets out of the passenger side of the truck and says something to her that I can’t hear, but Brennan pulls her keys out of her purse and hands them over. Her mother gets behind the wheel of her car, and Brennan gets into the passenger side of her dad’s truck. Even from here his face looks red. I watch as she pulls her seatbelt on. He backs the truck up and shifts into drive. The whole way, her eyes stay locked on mine.
Watching her walk out of my life, my heart breaks a little more. I can only hope she walks in here tomorrow, ready to watch Milly while I go to work, but something tells me that I’ll be lucky to ever see her again.
I slam the door closed and go fall back into my bed where I can live in the memory of her.
Twenty
Brennan
THAT kiss almost killed me. Knowing that I wouldn’t ever feel his lips against mine again, that his hands would never cup my face again, that I’d never feel his heart beat against my palm again broke something deep inside of me. But having to watch as the sadness grows on his face as I drive away is what does me in. Tears fill my eyes and overflow quickly. They stream down my cheeks like a dam has broken inside of me. In fact, I’m pretty sure it has. I was perfectly happy living in my own little world with Colton. Why did it have to end?
“I can’t believe that my daughter is acting this irresponsibly,” my dad says, anger drenching every word. “Your mother has worried herself sick! You couldn’t pick up the phone and let us know that you were okay?”
“You knew I was okay. You knew exactly where I was,” I remind him, wiping the tears from my eyes. Embarrassment washes over me. My mother and father just picked me up f
rom Colton’s house like my grade school sleepover was over. I’m a grown woman! Why do they treat me this way?
“Don’t be smart,” he spits out. “You, this,” he motions toward me. “Is not the daughter I raised.”
“Why? Because I’m not a child anymore? Because I can make my own choices? Or because all the decisions I make are not the ones you’d make for me? I’m not you. This is my life. I should get to pick where I go and who I’m with. Not you.”
“That man is almost forty years old, Brennan! You’re twenty-four! He was a damn adult the day you were born,” he reminds me like I can’t do simple math on my own. “How does that seem right to you? You think it’s okay for a grown adult, with a dead wife and a child, to manipulate a young girl into his bed?”
I scoff. “He did not manipulate me. And I’m not a young girl. Again, I’m an adult.”
“The point is, you’re young. Too young to be that man’s plaything. You think he loves you? Or have you ever considered that he might be using you for his own selfish needs? You raise his daughter. You clean his house. You cook his food. And if that’s not enough, you sleep with him. A real man, an honorable man, does not sleep with his damn babysitter. If he really loved you, he would’ve done this the right way.”
I roll my eyes. “And what’s the right way?”
“He would’ve come to me. Before he ever laid a hand on you.”
I laugh and snort. “Like you would’ve given him the time of day? All you see when you look at him is his last name. ‘Oh, he’s a Slade. He can’t be any good,’” I mock him.
I’ve never in my life talked to my dad this way. I wish I could say that I didn’t know where it was coming from, but all of this, it’s changed me. He says I’m not the daughter he raised. He’s right. I’m not a child anymore. I’m a grown woman who should have a say in who she’s with. What happened to acceptance? What happened to supporting the ones you love?
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