I whimper against his lips when his thumb grazes over my clit. “Hudson, please,” I beg as his lips fall from mine, kissing down my jaw and neck.
At my words, he pulls away, putting as much space between us as he can. He presses his back to the counter on the far side of the kitchen. He covers his mouth with his hand, wiping away the wetness from our kiss. His chest is rising and falling quickly as his eyes stare down at the floor between us.
I immediately feel cold without him pressed against me. A shiver races up my spine as I lower myself back to the floor. I raise my hand to cover my lips, enjoying the way they tingle from his kiss. Air is rushing in and out of my lungs, and my heart feels like it will soon explode from my chest. I chance a look up at him.
“We need to keep our distance. You hear me? I’ll stay in my room, you stay in the living room. If we’re never together, we can’t be tempted. Got it?” His voice is steady and sure.
My mouth falls open with surprise, but I nod in agreement. Without another word, he turns and leaves the kitchen. I hear the soft click of his bedroom door closing between us. I shake my head clear and focus on finding dinner, the task I had planned on doing before I was interrupted by his amazing lips.
I search through the fridge and cabinets until I come up with enough ingredients to make a fresh salad. I keep my mind trained on chopping the lettuce and tomatoes, shredding the carrots and cheese, and dicing the leftover chicken from yesterday. I mix everything together and then add a little bit of ranch dressing before taking it to the couch to eat. I pick up the remote and flip through the channels until I find some romance movie. I drop the remote and hold my bowl between my chest and knees as I sit, watching. As I eat, I laugh, cry, and curse myself for not living in a romantic comedy. I can’t help but picture Hudson as the actor in the movie and me as the actress. I don’t envision my brother in the story at all though. He’s the reason we can’t be together now.
I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the past when it comes to men, but doesn’t he see how much I’ve grown up, how mature I’ve become? I guess fighting for the right to screw his best friend wouldn’t help my case. It’s not like I’m in love with him. I’m just…in lust with him. The night we were together wasn’t even romantic. It wasn’t slow and passionate. It was raw, real, and dirty, the way real life normally is. He made me feel good, so good. Just thinking about him causes goosebumps to prickle my skin. He causes my blood to boil, my heart to race. I mean, that should mean something, shouldn’t it?
I’ve been with a lot of guys, but none of them ever made me feel the way Hudson does. What if the only reason you feel this way is because you know that you’ll never work out? Another way to self-sabotage? I think to myself. God knows I’ve done that enough in my life already. But that couldn’t be true because I wanted him before I knew he was off-limits. I wanted him because I thought I’d never be good enough for him, not pretty enough, or old enough. I wanted him because he was one of the things I missed most about this place after we moved to Denver. Even though he never would’ve given me the time of day or entertained the thought of being with me because I was a child, he was still always nice and sweet. He’d listen when I had things to say, instead of just blowing me off and saying he didn’t have time for me like my brother and parents always did. Hudson Slade was exactly what I needed back then, and he’s exactly what I need right now.
I know it. I think deep down, he knows it too. And I won’t give up until he admits it, admits it and fights against this line we’re not supposed to cross. I smile to myself when I think about how we pushed that line a little to the side tonight. Maybe tomorrow, we’ll push it a little more, and the next day and the next. Before you know it, there will be nothing between us, that line barely a blur in our past.
When I wake in the morning, Brad and Hudson are both sitting at the kitchen table with cups of coffee in their hands.
“Morning,” I say, walking in and heading straight to the coffee pot. I quickly glance at Hudson as I pass, and his blue eyes follow me. “How was work?”
“It was work,” Brad replies. “No offense, but that brewery kind of sucks for guys like me.”
Hudson laughs. “Yeah, I feel ya. Hell, it’s part mine and even I won’t work there. I’ve been looking to join the fire department.”
“Damn,” Brad says. “You won’t be able to keep the chicks off you, man.” Brad laughs.
In my mind, all I can picture is Hudson’s rock-hard body dressed up as one of those firefighters that pose in women’s calendars, the ones who only ever wear the pants and suspenders and no shirt. My dazing off gets the best of me, and I drop the spoon I was using to stir my coffee with.
Brad jumps from the sudden loud noise. “What’s your problem back there?”
“Sorry,” I say, looking at Hudson, but he must know what I’m thinking because he gives me a small smirk that he quickly wipes away.
I take my coffee with me and head back to the living room to dig out some clothes to wear to work for the day. I grab a pair of skinny jeans, a white lacy tank top, and a pair of wedged sandals, taking everything to the bathroom so I’m not caught without pants again. Thirty minutes later, I’m fully dressed with my hair and makeup done. I walk out into the living room with the intention of putting my cup in the sink and taking off, but I run into Hudson, who’s exiting the kitchen. I bump into his hard chest. I bounce back, but he catches me by both arms.
“Sorry,” he says, eyes glancing down my body.
“Sorry, yeah. Me too,” I finally get out, shaking my head at myself.
He chuckles quietly under his breath. “You look nice today. Have a good day at work.” Without another word, he sidesteps around me and heads for his room, leaving me staring after him.
What the hell was that? You look nice today? Was that a compliment? Was he hitting on me? If so, wasn’t he afraid that my brother would overhear? After last night, is he starting to come around, or is he just trying to be polite? Anxiety bubbles up my throat and irritation pushes it back down. Why can’t he just tell me what he wants, instead of telling me no, then kissing me? Giving me a compliment, but saying we can’t cross that imaginary line?
I set my cup in the sink a little harder than necessary, then grab my things and head out for the day.
“So, how are things going with this forbidden hottie?” Destiny asks as we sit behind the counter, having lunch.
I take a bite of my burger and shrug. “We kissed last night.”
Her eyes stretch wide with surprise.
“Like, really kissed. His hands were all over my body, and his lips were soft but hard and fast at the same time. God, I was so turned on that I thought I was going to explode.” I can’t hold back the smile that talking about Hudson brings on.
Destiny laughs. “So, why stop there? Why not drive the ball home?”
“I think he snapped out of it. He’s afraid of my brother finding out because I guess he was specifically told not to touch me. It seems like every day, we’re getting a little bit closer though. We’ll push past that imaginary line we’re not supposed to cross.”
She smiles. “I’m sure you will. Just give it time.”
Destiny ends up leaving me alone in the store for the rest of the day. It’s mostly dead. I fold and put away clothes, sort through jewelry, and restock the shelves of shoes and handbags we’ve sold. I make little notes to let her know what I’m not seeing in the storage room in case we need to put in an order, and I clean up the store some by sweeping the floors, wiping down surfaces, and facing the shelves. Before I know it, it’s going on five. I lock the door while I count down my drawer and drop the money in the safe.
I get home around five-thirty and find Brad and Hudson sitting on the couch, drinking beer and watching an MMA fight on TV. I had forgotten that it was Friday and that Brad didn’t have to work tonight. It really dampens my mood. I was hoping for a little alone time with Hudson again tonight, but there’s nothing I can do but grab a beer and sit be
tween them on the couch.
When a commercial comes on, I get up and change into a pair of cotton shorts and pull on a hoodie before refilling everyone up on snacks. I take my place back between them and prop my feet up on the table. I can’t help but to feel like I’m being watched. I glance at Brad, whose eyes are on the TV, and then at Hudson, who’s dazing off as he stares at my legs. I wiggle my toes, getting his attention. His eyes jump up to mine, and his face flushes before he forces them back to the TV.
As we watch, Hudson makes sure to keep his eyes locked on the TV, not even looking at the bowl of popcorn on the table as he grabs a handful. Brad and Hudson talk like old friends, taking bets on the fights and rubbing it in the other’s face when they win. They’re like a bunch of children, but it makes me happy seeing them like this. It takes me back to those days so long ago where we were all just a bunch of kids with our whole lives ahead of us. It makes a warmth break out in my chest that takes over my whole body, making me feel safe and protected.
Five
Hudson
Those long legs. Those pink painted toes. It’s all I can stare at. Her short-ass shorts are teasing me. Hell, I bet she doesn’t even have any panties on under them. If she did, I’d had noticed the line on her ass beneath them, but it’s as smooth as can be. I’m not even watching the fight anymore. All I can think about is how those long, tanned legs felt wrapped around my hips. Her legs look so damn soft, I just want to reach out and run my hand up one. But Brad sitting right next to us makes that idea stop before I act on them. I wish there was some way around his rule. I wish he would see the type of guy I am and know that she’s safe and protected when it comes to me. There’s no need to protect her from me. On second thought, all I want is to fuck her over and over and over again. Maybe she does need to be protected.
I shake my head at myself and take another drink of my beer. I watch her out of the corner of my eye. She rolls her head to the side and cracks her neck. Every so often, she stretches or readjusts the way she’s sitting. It’s easy to see how wound up she is. She’s been working from sunup to sundown in hopes of saving up the money she needs to get her own place. She needs to take it easy, enjoy being young.
“I have to use the bathroom,” Deven says, placing her beer on the coffee table and heading toward the bathroom.
Brad’s phone rings from his pocket and he answers it. “Hello?” There’s a long pause before he says, “Damn it, Kevin. Can’t you ever do anything right?”
I look over at him, wondering who in the hell he’s talking to.
“I’ll swing by and pick it up, but I better not miss any of this fight because your dumbass employees can’t remember to fill their car with gas.” He hangs up and looks at me. “Can you believe this? I have to go pick up the pizza because Kevin can’t hire anyone but teenagers to deliver pizzas. And guess who’s the most irresponsible people on the planet? That’s right, teenagers. Dumbass forgot that the car runs on gas. No gas, no go,” he says, shaking his head as he sits on the edge of the couch and pulls on his shoes.
“Just pause it, man. I can wait,” I offer.
“Really? You sure?”
“Yeah, it’s fine.”
“Okay, thanks bro. I’ll only be about ten minutes.” He picks up the remote, hits the pause button, then sets it back down as he stands and leaves the apartment.
Sitting alone with no distractions, I feel a familiar pull in my chest. I stand up and walk to the bathroom door. She opens it and comes to a dead stop when she sees me standing right in front of her.
“What are you—” she starts, but I silence her when I press my mouth to hers. Immediately, she kisses me back, blindly, full of passion. Her arms wrap around my neck as my hands find her ass, picking her up against me. I walk us into the bathroom and sit her on the edge of the sink. I kick the door closed behind us and lock it quickly.
“What are you doing? Where’s Brad?” she asks against my lips.
“I can’t get you off my fucking mind,” I say, kissing her hard while my hand works its way up her shorts. When my finger brushes against her bare core, she lets out a moan. Just as I thought, no panties. I circle her clit with my fingers a couple of times, and it’s like the floodgates have been opened. She’s instantly wet for me. I slide two fingers deep inside her sheath. “You’ve been a bad girl, marching around in these little outfits, not wearing a bra or panties. Bad girls get punished,” I grind out between my teeth as I watch her. Her eyes flutter closed, and her mouth falls open with her heavy gasps.
Using my other hand, I push up her sweatshirt, finding her bare breast. I pinch her nipple as my fingers work her over the edge. She lets out a moan and begs for more like the dirty girl she is. While my fingers move inside her, I lower my mouth to her nipple and softly bite down. Her fingers lace into my hair, pulling me closer.
“Hudson, fuck, don’t stop. Please, don’t stop,” she breathes out, tugging my hair.
“This isn’t for you, Deven,” I say, pulling my mouth away from her breast and watching the expressions on her face change as I push her closer and closer. “This is for me. I can’t fuck you, but I’m sure as fuck going to have this image in my head later.” I kiss her hard, biting her bottom lip as I pull away. “Come for me, Deven, before we get caught.” As my fingers slide in and out of her, my thumb applies pressure to her bundle of nerves. Her breathing picks up and her moans grow louder. “Now, Deven,” I demand. “Fucking come on my hand. Show me how badly you want me inside you.” I nip her lip again.
“Please, fuck me,” she begs.
“Oh, I’m going to fuck you alright…but not until I’m good and fucking ready. You want me, you gotta work for it. Now come for me.” One final demand, and her inner muscles squeeze around my fingers and her moans are so loud, I have to use my free hand to cover her mouth. She bites my palm, making my dick ache to be inside her again. I don’t stop or slow down until I feel her loosen around me and her moans have quieted.
I withdraw my hand from her, and her eyes find mine. They’re glassy, her skin flushed. I suck her juices off one of my fingers and want to fucking come from her sweetness on my tongue. Without a word, I exit the bathroom and take my place back on the couch. I lean forward and grab my beer, finishing it off. I stand and walk to the kitchen for another. Just as I’m walking back into the living room, Brad comes in with a pizza in his hand.
“Alright, let’s get this fight going again.” He sets the box on the coffee table and takes his seat, hitting play on the remote. “Dev, pizza’s here,” he shouts. He looks at me. “She still in the bathroom?”
I shrug. “I guess.”
He shakes his head. “Women…who knows what she’s doing in there.”
Deven comes out and takes her place between us. Her skin is still slightly flushed, and her eyes are still glassy.
Brad glances over at her. “You been crying in there?” he asks, scrunching up his nose and drawing his brows together.
“No, why?”
“Your face is a little red, and your eyes, they look funny.”
She snorts. “Probably just the beer.”
“You’ve only had one. You’re cut off. Now shut up and eat your pizza.” He ruffles her hair, and she smacks his shoulder but leans forward and steals a slice. She glances at me quickly, the corner of her mouth turning up into a small grin. I want to return her smile, but I can’t. I grind my teeth together and wonder how long I’ll be able to hold myself back. I’m slipping more and more each day. Yesterday, a kiss, and today, I slide my hand up her shorts. What the fuck am I going to do tomorrow?
Nothing, because as soon as this fight is over, you’re going to take a shower and jerk off, getting rid of every drop that’s been backed up for her. Once I get everything cleared out of my head, there won’t be a problem. I just can’t allow myself to get horny around her. Everything will be fine.
When the fight ends, Deven decides she’s ready for bed, and Brad is already drunk and starting to pass out. He heads for his
room and I go for a shower. I turn the water on and step beneath the flow. I wash my hair and body quickly. Then, as planned, I take myself in hand, pumping up and down while thinking about how I had her on that sink, legs spread and begging me to fuck her. It only takes minutes before I’m spilling every last drop onto the shower floor. As I dry off, I think about how getting off alone is nothing like getting off with her. It’ll never be the same. It’ll never hold me over. All I did was delay the inevitable. Sooner or later, I will fuck up and throw caution to the wind. Sooner or later, I will own her again. I just need to figure out how to hold it off and how to get away with it without risking Brad’s and my friendship. I don’t know any other way to go about it. He’s made the rules clear. I agreed. I can’t go back, but I can’t stop either.
I shake my head as I wrap my towel around my waist. Opening the door, I step out into the dark hallway. The apartment is deathly quiet as I enter my room and close the door behind me. I pull on a pair of basketball shorts and slide into bed. My eyes close, and the only thing I see is her, her parted lips, and her dark eyes. I can hear her begging me, making me hard all over again. I’m fighting an endless battle here, one I know I’m destined to lose. It’s a horrible thing to only want the one thing that you know you can’t have. I could have any other woman, so why do I want her?
I force my eyes to stay closed and push her from my mind, instead focusing on my interview at the fire department tomorrow. I need rest if I’m going to pull this off. I’ll need hours and hours of training. I need to bring my A-game, not my sorry I didn’t get enough sleep because I’m mentally torturing myself by imagining my best friend’s sister beneath me game. My body finally gives in, and sleep takes me. Yet, even in sleep, I can’t escape her. I dream of her. I smell her on my fucking pillow and on my sheets. I feel her warmth. I can still taste her.
The Slade Brothers: A Complete Small Town Contemporary Romance Collection Page 83
