When my release ends, I beg him to slide inside me, but he refuses to pull away. “I’m not done with you yet.”
After my recent release, everything down there feels much more tender and sensitive. The slightest flick of his tongue has tremors wracking my body. His mouth feels amazing, but it’s also torturous.
“Hudson, please. I want you inside me.”
“I told you, Deven, I want you fucking begging me.” He flicks his tongue against me again, circles my bundle of nerves, then sucks it into his mouth. I can’t do anything but shiver and shake and wither away in uncontrollable pleasure. I always thought being denied was torture, but being given too much is just as bad.
“Hudson, please. I need more. I need you inside me,” I beg.
He pulls away, getting back up onto his knees as he looks down at me. His lips are glistening with my arousal as he smirks. “That’s all you can take?” He reaches for the hem of his shirt, pulling it off quickly and revealing those rock-hard abs that I’ve longed to run my tongue over.
I nod my head, watching as he starts to unfasten his jeans, my knees shaking on either side of him. He lets out a chuckle as he pushes them down over his hips.
“I want this dress off of you. I want you completely naked beneath me,” he orders, reaching over me and snagging a condom out of the top drawer of the nightstand.
He watches me as I pull my dress and bra off, and I watch him as he slides the condom on and kicks off his jeans. This way, I get to see more of his hard body than I did the first time. His thighs are just as toned as the rest of him, and that makes my stomach muscles tighten. He really is sexy as fuck.
I sit up and capture his mouth with mine as he works the condom over his length. When he has it on, his hand moves up to cup my jaw as he lays me back. With him on top of me, between my spread legs, his hardness presses at my entrance like it knows where it belongs. But he doesn’t push into me. Not yet. For the time being, he just kisses me hard and fast. His hips move back and forth, so his cock slides between my folds, making me want more.
I dig my nails into his back, and he lets out a painful gasp that turns into a hardened growl. He breaks our kiss and arches his back, the head of his dick slipping inside of me. Without warning, he thrusts deep into me, making me let out a relieved moan of acceptance. When he pulls back, he only slams into me harder the next time. The bed is creaking and squeaking with our movements, his skin slapping off mine as we both let out a moan of pleasure.
As he lowers his mouth back to mine, his hips work harder, faster. My inner muscles tighten around him, preparing for the release that’s about to flood over my body. It only takes seconds before I’m drowning, lost to the feeling of passion. It’s all consuming. It’s intoxicating. It’s him. He’s always had this effect on me, long before I even know what it was. Maybe that was the universe’s way of telling me he’s my other half. He may have been made first, but he was made with me in mind.
After my release ends, he rolls us over. “I want to watch you ride me. Show me what you got, Deven.” His voice is deep and husky, filled with lust and passion. His hands rest on my hips as I sit up straight, giving him the view of my bouncing tits as I move myself up and down his length, then back and forth, grinding my clit against his pubic bone.
My head falls back as my lips part and a gasp escapes. When I look down at his face, my breath stops. His eyes are closed, brows drawn together, his lips slightly parted. His eyes suddenly open and lock on mine. I can see the flames of desire burning in them. They’re no longer that sweet, friendly blue I’m so used to. Now they’re darker, the color of the sky on a stormy day, a hint of blue buried under the cloudy gray. They hold promise, promise to love and destroy, of danger and adventure. He pulls his bottom lip into his mouth and bites down on it. His jaw ticks, and I watch as his eyes roll back into his head as he lift his hips, meeting my thrusts.
It doesn’t take long in this position before I’m shivering and shaking with my release, but he doesn’t give me time to come down this time. Without warning, he pulls out of me and flips us over, pushing into me from behind. His hands grab my hips, pulling me back into his thrusts as he hammers into me forcefully, unabashedly. One hand comes up to my neck where he gathers my hair in his fist. He twists it and pulls my head back as his hips continue their thrusting. I never liked being held down before. I always felt trapped, like I didn’t have a say. But it’s different with Hudson. I don’t mind being held down by his hands. I don’t feel trapped or stuck. I feel loved, needed. It’s like his hands can’t release me, like they always need to be on my body. I love the pleasure and the tinge of pain he causes me to feel. I’ve felt pleasure during sex before, and I’ve felt pain, but it takes someone truly talented to mix them both together.
I let out a loud moan and call out his name as another release leaves my body, leaving me feeling weak and tired, like I’m floating away. He lets out a growl as his hips work faster, suddenly losing their pace. They’re erratic now, pumping fast and forceful.
“Fuck, Deven,” he calls out. As his hips slow, he empties himself into the condom.
He pulls out of me and I fall to the mattress, rolling onto my side in exhaustion. He slings off the condom and falls beside me. He slides one arm up under my pillow and the other he wraps around my waist. He pulls me against his chest, so my skin is flush with his. He’s damp with sweat and burning up. Still, I find it relaxing. His heart is pounding in his chest, beating so hard I can feel it against my back.
“I don’t know about you, but it never feels this way with anyone else,” I say, enjoying the way he holds me against him.
He squeezes me lightly. “That’s because it’s wrong,” he says, sounding annoyed.
I roll over to face him. His jaw is cocked, so I place my hand on it, trying to get him to relax. “Do you really believe that?”
He doesn’t answer.
“And who is my brother to say what we’re allowed to do anyway? We’re both adults. We know what we’re doing. Just enjoy being here with me.” I rest my head against his chest and close my eyes.
He lets out a long breath. “I do enjoy it. I love the way your soft skin brushes against mine. I love the way you taste. I love the way you moan my name. But it’s all overshadowed by this promise I made to your brother that is now a lie. How can you feel good about something when you’re lying to the one person who’s there for you?”
“Some things are so good, it’s worth lying sometimes,” I respond.
I feel him shake his head. “I don’t know if I can see it that way.”
“You mean if we ended up together, like got married, had kids, and all of that, that you still couldn’t be happy because you and my brother would no longer be friends?”
He shrugs. “I wouldn’t say that. But even in my happiest moments, I’m afraid that I would still think of him and the betrayal and feel guilty. Like it would always be there, just below the surface, ready to strike during my happiest moments. And because of that, we need to keep our distance.” He tries to sit up, but I don’t let him.
“No, I don’t care how guilty you’re feeling right now. You’re not going to fuck me and then kick me out of your room. You’re better than that, Hudson. You’re better than the rest of them. That’s why I chose you.” I place my hand back on his jaw and move my lips to his. I know he’s only trying to run because he’s scared. I’ve been there many times before. But this, this is too good, too perfect to run from.
I pull away from his lips and he lets out a long breath, knowing that I’m right. I rest my head on his chest. He absentmindedly plays with my hair. He runs his finger through it all the way to the ends. When the hair falls back down, he picks up another stand and repeats the process again and again.
“Why were you kicked out of your mom’s house?” he asks, and the question is like being doused in ice water.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I reply, suddenly feeling too exposed. I was just bent every which way, butt-ass
naked in front of him, but I feel too vulnerable with a question. Something is seriously wrong with me.
“Come on. How are we supposed to do this if you never let me in?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t realize we were doing much of anything,” I joke. I mean, I know we screw around, but does that mean that we’re together now? Am I in a secret relationship?
He squeezes me. “You know, you’re a lot different than I thought you’d be.”
“How so?”
I shrug. “You’re such a nice, polite guy. I didn’t realize you’d be so demanding in bed.”
He chuckles. “I guess it’s a balance. I don’t speak out normally, so in the bedroom, it’s my only chance.” He laughs. “And I’ve found that the women really like it.”
“Yeah, because we’re expected to be strong all day, every day. In the bed is the only place we can get away from all that and get away from all of that and hand over the reins for a little while.” I smile, wondering if that’s true of most women or just a random few. I shrug. It doesn’t matter. I know it’s the case for me. Many would say that I have daddy issues from losing my father at such a young age. I’ve heard my brother and my mom talk about it on more than one occasion. They say that I seek out assholes, wanting to get their approval. I don’t see it that way. I just like to be tamed by a strong man. If a man is strong enough to tame me, he’s strong enough to love me. He’s strong enough for me to love.
“When are you going to tell me what happened with your mom?”
I shrug. “I don’t know if I can talk about it.”
“Why?” He sounds surprised.
I laugh. “There are some things that I try to avoid, you know.” I can’t hold back my smile. It’s like he thinks I’m the strongest woman out there.
“One of these days?”
I nod, just wanting the conversation to end.
“Promise?”
I giggle. “Promise. When I’m ready.”
He lifts his head slightly and presses a kiss to the top of mine. The kiss is innocent, but it makes me smile and warms my entire body. I’ve never been held like this or kissed like that. Most men will fuck me and then leave, so I guess that’s what I’m used to. This, holding one another and cuddling, is completely foreign to me, but already, I know it’s something I can get used to.
I must drift off to sleep because the next thing I know, Hudson is shaking me awake. My eyes flutter open to see the pitch-black bedroom instead of the one that was just lit up with the setting sun.
“Wake up, Deven. Brad is home.”
I fly up out of bed with those words. “What? Where is he?”
“I think he’s taking a shower. I haven’t seen him yet,” he replies. “But I heard him walk in. You need to get dressed and get the fuck out of here now, or this will be over before it starts.”
I pull my dress on and slide my feet into my shoes. I’m sure my hair and makeup is trashed, but I can always tell him I had a date and am just getting home. I’m sure I’ll get a talking-to about dating these worthless guys he never even bothers meeting. He just assumes they’re all worthless assholes, like I can’t pick them any better.
Once I’m dressed, Hudson opens the door and peeks out. “He’s in the bathroom. Hurry.”
I go to step past him, but he catches me. Our eyes lock and then slowly, he moves in for a kiss. That kiss goes straight to my belly, where a fire lights and makes my toes curl.
“Go,” he says, pulling away.
I rush out of his room and into the living room. I notice the door is locked but not chained. I quickly unlock it, open it, and close it. Brad is walking into the living room as I’m re-locking it, so it looks like I just got in.
“Where you been?”
“Out. Had a date.” I sit on the couch and remove my shoes.
“Where’s Hudson?” he asks, walking into the kitchen.
“How am I supposed to know? It wasn’t my turn to watch him,” I say with a smirk.
Brad shakes his head but doesn’t ask anything else. He grabs a drink from the kitchen, then takes it back to his bedroom. I hear the soft click of his door. I let out a relieved breath. We weren’t caught. But we need to be more careful. No more sleeping together, not in this apartment anyway.
I shake my head as I stand and gather my clothes. It’s been a long time since my body has been claimed like that. It feels sore and tired. I need some hot water to relieve the stiffness and soreness.
I get into the shower and wash off quickly. I wash my hair and shave my legs, then take a seat on the bottom of it. I lean my back against the tub and rest my head against the wall, enjoying the quiet time to reflect back on my night. The hot water does just as I’d hoped. It relaxes me and eases away the sore tired muscles. I smile to myself when I think back on the hours I spent with Hudson. I don’t know how he manages to be so sweet and so damn hot at the same time, but I know with each encounter, I’m only getting more and more addicted to him. I couldn’t walk away before. I sure as fuck can’t now. I’m a goner.
I mean, if Brad sees that he and I really love one another, can he really demand we stay apart? Shouldn’t he want me to be happy? I understand him chasing off the guys I’ve been with the last few years. They were all worthless, but Hudson, he’s good. He’s been in the military and now, he works for the fire department. If we decide to stay together, he will take care of me, protect me, and love me because that’s who he is. I know him being friends with my brother complicates things, but deep down, Brad knows Hudson better than anyone else. He should know he’s not my usual fling.
I shake my head clear, knowing that all these thoughts are pointless at the moment. I have no idea where things with me and Hudson are going to end up. We may stay together, get married, and have kids, or we may never move past what we’re doing right now. The only way to know is to wait and see. And until I have something concrete, I won’t be trying to change Brad’s mind.
I stand up and shut off the shower, grabbing my towel and drying off. I dress in a pair of leggings with a tank top and brush the knots from my hair. Since it’s already so late, I don’t bother drying it. I’m too tired, and Brad and Hudson are both probably asleep. There’s no need for me to be any louder than I have to be.
I exit the bathroom and move back to my bed, the couch. I pull the folded-up blanket off the back and cover myself as I flip through the channels. I always need something to watch, some kind of noise to put me to sleep. I stop on some reality show and curl myself into a ball. The junction between my legs is still sore and throbbing, and as uncomfortable as that is, I like it. I like having the soreness as a way to remember who I was just with. With every throb, I think of Hudson.
Sunday rolls around, and the three of us just hang out at home for the day. We sit and watch TV. We talk and joke. We eat and relax. Around three in the afternoon, Brad excuses himself to go take a nap to prepare for his midnight shift at the brewery. It’s always hard on him going from his midnight schedule to a normal schedule and then back to midnights, which is what happens every weekend. With him no longer in the room, Hudson comes to sit on the opposite end of the couch. He picks up my foot that’s between us. He pulls it into his lap and starts massaging it.
“Mmmmm, that feels good,” I say softly, my eyes fluttering closed.
He wags his eyebrows at me. “Just wait until later.”
My stomach tightens with the unsaid promises. “I can’t wait.”
I hear Brad’s bedroom door open and I quickly jerk my foot away, just in time. He comes walking into the living room, grabs his bottle of water off the coffee table, and heads back to his room.
Hudson and I look at one another with wide eyes. That was a close one.
Seven
Hudson
Fuck. I’m in deep. I wanted to keep my distance. I did. But it was impossible. She’s too perfect. I couldn’t resist. Even now, I’m glad I didn’t. But I also wish I had. This whole thing is just confusing. I don’t like hiding thing
s. I don’t like lying. I’ve always been an open book and I found that’s the best way to live. If I’m honest, there can’t ever be anything held against me, but now, I’m anything but honest. I’m a liar, I’m a backstabber. I’m a thief, taking something that isn’t mine. And on top of it all, I’m a shitty friend.
I try to put myself in Brad’s position, but it’s hard for me to do. I grew up the youngest of five boys. There wasn’t ever a sister to protect. Us boys, we had one another’s backs when needed. We all knew how to take care of ourselves. I try thinking back to see if there was ever a girl I felt obligated to protect. Other than a random girlfriend here and there growing up, I come back empty-handed. I didn’t even have any cousins growing up because my dad was an only child, as was my mother. It’s always just been me and my brothers.
I know how pissed Brad will be when he finds out the truth. And I know what I’m doing will only hurt him in the future, but for the first time in my life, I don’t care. I’m finally doing exactly what I want. I’m living my life the way I want. I’m not taking orders from my father, brothers, or command. The whole point of this was to live my life the way I wanted as an adult, something I’ve never done. And more than anything, I want her. I want her under me, on top of me, screaming my name, and withering away in the pleasure I cause. I want my name to be the only name that falls from her lips. I want to be the only person she thinks about. I just want her, all of her. And I’m not letting anyone take her away, not anymore. I won’t even try fighting it. All I will do is try hiding it because I’m afraid that if Brad finds out, he’ll kick me out, and she and I will be done.
I try to push all these thoughts away as I make my way to the apartment Monday afternoon. This morning, I had to be at the fire department bright and early. I did my second interview and spent the rest of the day watching training videos and taking tests before I’m allowed to start any kind of physical training. My day was spent sitting in a hard wooden chair, so my back and neck ache. I have all this pent-up energy from not being able to do anything physical.
The Slade Brothers: A Complete Small Town Contemporary Romance Collection Page 85
