by Abby Klein
by ABBY KLEIN
illustrated by
JOHN MCKINLEY
To Mouse, Toes, and my Sweet Pea—
thank you for believing in me!
I love you guys.
—A.K.
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Epigraph
Dear Reader
Chapter 1: The Only One
Chapter 2: Five Ways to Lose a Tooth
Chapter 3: The Door Disaster
Chapter 4: Plan B
Chapter 5: Get Ready … Get Set …
Chapter 6: The Fight
Chapter 7: Hard, Crunchy Things
Chapter 8: I Give Up
Chapter 9: Is That a Nut?
Chapter 10: Dear Tooth Fairy …
Chapter 11: The Big Tooth
Freddy’s Fun Pages
A Very Silly Story
Jessie’s Tooth Pillow
Freddy’s Other Adventures!
Copyright
I have a problem.
A really, really, big problem.
I’m the only one in my class
who hasn’t lost a tooth.
Let me tell you about it.
DEAR READER,
I have been teaching children for fifteen years, and on the wall of my classroom I have a big tooth just like the one in Freddy’s classroom. My students are so excited when they lose a tooth because they get to write their names on that big, white tooth.
A lot of kids actually lose their teeth at school. I remember one time a little boy swallowed his tooth while he was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! He had to write a letter to the Tooth Fairy and tell her that his tooth was in his stomach. Another time, I had to dig through the sand because a little girl lost her tooth while she was making sand castles at recess.
I hope you have as much fun reading Tooth Trouble as I had writing it.
HAPPY READING!
CHAPTER 1
The Only One
Today when the bell rang at the end of recess, my best friend, Robbie, came running into the classroom and almost knocked me over.
“Hey, watch it!” I said.
Robbie was jumping up and down and waving his hands in the air, shouting, “I lost my tooth! I lost my tooth!” He was holding the tooth between his fingers, and he stuck his arm high in the air so everybody could see.
“Let me see,” said Jessie.
Robbie smiled really wide and, sure enough, there was a big, bloody hole where his baby tooth used to be.
“Eewww,” said Chloe, backing up. “That is disgusting! Get away from me! You’re going to get blood on my brand-new velvet dress.”
“Is there a lot of blood?” Robbie asked, smiling.
Just then Mrs. Wushy, our teacher, came over and said, “Oh, it’s just a little bit of blood. Why don’t you go over to the sink and rinse your mouth out with water? Just swish and spit, but don’t swallow.”
“Yeah, blood is cool,” said Jessie, “but you don’t want to drink it. You’ll get a stomachache.”
“Actually, blood is mostly water,” said Robbie, “so it really won’t hurt you.” Robbie is a science genius. He’s read about a million books, and he knows everything about everything.
“But only Dracula actually drinks blood,” I said.
“And so does Mr. Pendergast,” Max said, laughing. Mr. Pendergast, in case you don’t know, is our principal. We call him The Skunk. His hair is black, except for a thin gray stripe that runs right down the middle, but that’s not why we call him The Skunk. We call him The Skunk because his breath stinks. Whenever he talks to you, you think you’re going to pass out from the smell.
“Here’s a bag to put your tooth in, Robbie, so you don’t lose it,” said Mrs. Wushy, holding up a plastic sandwich bag.
“You have to keep it safe so you can put it under your pillow tonight for the Tooth Fairy. Once you’re finished, then come to the rug, and you can sign the Big Tooth.”
The Big Tooth. I hate that Big Tooth. Mrs. Wushy puts up a new tooth every month, and you get to write your name on this big paper tooth every time your tooth falls out.
Jessie “Nothin’ Scares Me” Sanchez got to sign her name on there twice.
Max “The Meanie” Sellars went up to sign his name for the third time last week. And Chloe “I’m So Wonderful” Winters has written her name on there four times already this year.
I haven’t gotten to sign my name even one lousy time.
“Great, just great,” I mumbled. “My dumb old teeth don’t want to come out.”
Before today, Robbie and I were the only ones who hadn’t lost a tooth yet.
Now I’m the only one.
The only one who hasn’t lost a tooth!
“Everyone, please come to the rug,” said Mrs. Wushy. “It’s time for Robbie to sign the tooth.”
“Whoop-de-doo for him,” I muttered. “Let’s have a party.”
Robbie strutted proudly up to the front of the room.
“Here you go, Robbie,” said Mrs. Wushy, handing him the special pen with the smiling tooth on top.
Robbie took the pen and signed his name. REALLY BIG. R-O-B-B-I-E.
“Congratulations,” said Mrs. Wushy, and everyone clapped loudly for Robbie. Well, everyone except me.
“Now let’s see,” said Mrs. Wushy, as she pointed at our tooth graph. “It looks like Freddy Thresher is the only one who hasn’t lost a tooth yet.”
Great! Did she have to announce it to the whole class?
Now everyone was staring at me, and I think a couple of kids were laughing.
I was soooo embarrassed. My face got as red as a tomato. I wished I could make myself invisible.
“Uh, can I go to the bathroom?” I asked Mrs. Wushy.
“Sure,” she said.
I didn’t walk. I bolted to the bathroom. I just wanted to get out of there.
When I was safe inside the bathroom, I first checked to make sure no one else was in there, and then I looked in the mirror and smiled, really big.
“HEY, WOULD JUST ONE OF YOU STUPID TEETH COME OUT ALREADY?!!” I yelled.
I decided right then and there that no matter what, I was going to lose a tooth. And soon.
I just had to come up with a plan.
CHAPTER 2
Five Ways to Lose a Tooth
That night I didn’t feel like eating any dinner.
“What’s wrong with you?” my mom asked. “You haven’t touched your food.”
“I’m not hungry,” I mumbled.
“Not hungry?” said my mom. “But it’s your favorite—tuna noodle casserole. You must be getting sick. I’ll go and get the thermometer.”
“I’M NOT SICK!” I shouted.
“Oooh, somebody’s in a yucky mood,” said my big sister, Suzie.
“Be quiet!” I yelled. I lunged toward Suzie to pull her hair, but I slipped, and my elbow fell right into her plate—sending a pile of tuna noodle sailing to the floor.
“Hey, hey, stop it, you two!” said my dad. My dad can be a pretty serious guy, and if he says stop, you’d better stop if you know what’s good for you.
“Look at the mess you made!” said my mom as she ran to get a sponge. She’s such a Neat Freak. Our floors are so clean you could eat off them.
“I’m not sick. I just had a bad day at school today,” I whispered.
“Oh, did the little first grader pee in his pants?” teased my sister. “Or did somebody spill milk on one of your dumb old shark shirts?”
“LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU DING-DONG STINKY HEAD!” I shouted back. “For your information, I am a shark expert, and they are not dumb. Sharks are cool. You’re just jealous of all my cool shark stuff.”
“I am no
t, Brat!” Suzie yelled back.
“Please, Suzie,” said my mom, wiping the floor. “Just leave him alone. He’s upset about something, and you’re not helping.” She gave Suzie one of her all-time famous Shut-Your-Mouth-Now Death Stares. “Now, Freddy, tell us what’s bothering you.”
“I’m the only one,” I said, sniffling.
“What do you mean, ‘the only one’?” asked my dad.
“Robbie lost his tooth today, so now I’m the only one in my class who hasn’t lost a tooth.”
“You want to lose a tooth?” said my sister. “Why didn’t you just say so? I can help you with that.”
“Really?” I said, my face brightening.
“Sure. In fact, I’ll show you five ways to lose a tooth.” Then she held up her right hand and bent her fingers down one at a time as she counted, “One, two, three, four, five,” until her hand was making a fist.
“Come on over here, and I’ll punch you in the mouth. That should knock a few of those teeth loose,” she said, laughing hysterically.
“Oh, Suzie, that’s so funny I forgot to laugh,” I said.
“Suzie Marie Thresher, that is ENOUGH!” said my dad. “I think you need to go to your room right now.”
“I don’t want to!”
“I didn’t ask you. I’m telling you. Now let’s go.”
After the two of them left the kitchen, my mom came over and put her arm around me. “Don’t worry, baby,” she said, kissing the top of my head. “One of those little teeth will get loose sooner or later. Just be patient.”
“I don’t want to be patient!” I cried, pulling away. I ran to my room and slammed the door.
Then I stopped, dead in my tracks. Because I just got a great idea.
CHAPTER 3
The Door Disaster
Slamming the door reminded me of this Commander Upchuck episode I saw one time on TV.
Commander Upchuck had this really bad toothache.
His tooth hurt so bad he wanted to get it out, so he asked his friend, Cookie, what he should do.
Cookie got a string and tied one end of the string to Commander Upchuck’s tooth and the other end to a door. Then he slammed the door a bunch of times, and BOOM! the tooth came out.
“Hey, why didn’t I think of that before?” I said to myself.
I was so excited! I ran to my treasure box, dumped it on the floor, and started digging through my stuff. I found my Commander Upchuck fan club membership card, the two-dollar bill my grandpa gave me for my birthday, my hammerhead magnet from the aquarium, the plastic sword and mini umbrella from my fancy drink at the grown-up restaurant, my shark’s tooth necklace, and my dad’s cool business card. (He’s a producer on the kids’ TV show Fun Factory.)
Then I saw it. The string I found on the playground last week. Great! I knew it would come in handy. Now I needed some tape. I’m not very good at tying. In fact, I can hardly even tie my own shoes, so tape would make the job a lot easier.
I scanned my room for the roll of tape I borrowed from my mom and spotted it in my fishbowl. What on earth was it doing in there? Oh yeah, now I remember.
I was pretending it was a hoop, and I was trying to train my goldfish, Mako, to swim through it, just like the dolphins at Wet ‘n Wild. I really want a dog because you can teach them to do lots of cool tricks, but my mom says a dog is too dirty, and it would destroy the house. What does she think a dog is—Godzilla?
I pulled the tape out of the fishbowl and dried it on my pillowcase. As I started taping the string to my doorknob, my sister came running down the hall and pounded on my door.
I jumped back.
“Hey, Shark Bait!” she yelled. “I’m doing my homework, and I can’t find my pencil sharpener. Did you take it?” she asked, trying to push my door open.
Oh no! I couldn’t let her in. If she saw me using my mom’s tape on the doorknob, she’d tell on me, and then I’d really be in big trouble.
I leaned on the door as hard as I could and yelled, “Go away, Dog Breath! I don’t have your dumb pencil sharpener.”
“Hey, let me in, Chubby Cheeks,” she demanded. “What are you doing in there, anyway?”
“Nothing, you big pain. Now go away.”
“You must be up to something if you won’t let me in. I’m telling. Mom, Dad! Freddy’s up to something!” she called as her footsteps disappeared down the hall.
Now I really had to hurry. I didn’t want my parents to see what I was doing, or I’d get in BIG trouble for two reasons. One, I was only supposed to use her tape for special art projects. Two, my mom, The Clean Machine, would go nuts if I actually did yank my tooth out and got blood all over the carpet.
I didn’t care. I had to get my name on that Big Tooth. I picked up the string, wrapped it around my tooth a couple of times, and tried to tape the end to the front of my tooth.
“Oh, come on, come on, you stupid string,” I muttered under my breath.
The string and tape were both getting all wet and slimy from my spit, and they kept slipping out of my fingers.
I pulled some of the string out of my mouth and looked at it.
It had a gooey chunk of tuna noodle casserole from dinner stuck to the end. I licked it off and tried to tape the string on to my tooth again.
Just then there was another knock on my door. “Honey, what are you doing?”
I gulped. It was my mother. I grabbed the string and tape and tried to yank it out, but it was stuck! The string had gotten caught between my teeth!
“Freddy, are you all right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I can’t hear you. What did you say?” She started to turn the knob.
“See?” said my sister. “I told you he was up to something.”
Oh no! I couldn’t let them see me tied to the doorknob like this. My mother would go crazy and I’d never hear the end of it from Suzie. I ripped the end of the string off the doorknob and shoved the whole thing, tape and all, into my mouth just as my mom pushed the door open.
“What’s going on in here?”
“Nummin,” I mumbled, trying not to open my overstuffed mouth.
She looked around my room. “Why is the stuff from your treasure box all over the floor? Did you make this mess?”
“Ugmmm, ugmmmm,” I answered, shaking my head.
“Well then, who did? The boogeyman? Freddy, how many times have I told you not to make a big mess right before bedtime? You have two minutes to put everything away, mister, or no TV tomorrow. Do I make myself clear?”
“Mmmmm, mmmmm.” I nodded.
“I mean it. Two minutes.”
“Ommm-kayyy,” I said, trying not to open my mouth.
“Not very talkative tonight, are you? Are you still upset about not losing a tooth?”
I wished she would leave already. I was going to swallow the string and choke to death if she stayed a minute longer.
“Don’t worry. I didn’t lose my first tooth until I was in first grade.” She smiled.
“Now hop to it. You’ve got two minutes to clean up this mess, and then I’ll be back to give you a kiss good night.”
She left, and I finally spit the slimy, sticky, soaked wad of tape and string out of my mouth.
Whew, that was a close one.
Since the doorknob plan required tying, and I probably couldn’t even learn to tie my own shoes in less than a week, I was going to have to come up with another plan. I squeezed my lucky shark tooth. If I squeeze it hard enough, a good idea pops into my head, but nothing was popping in there tonight.
I lay down on my bed and hit my forehead with the palm of my hand. “Think, think, think,” I said.
CHAPTER 4
Plan B
The next day at school was even worse! Everywhere I went, all that the kids talked about was teeth, teeth, TEETH!
During math time, Jessie asked Robbie, “Did the Tooth Fairy come to your house last night?”
“Yeah,” said Robbie, his eyes lighting up.
“Wh
at did she leave you?”
“I put my tooth under my pillow when I went to sleep, and in the morning, the tooth was gone, and the Tooth Fairy left me a dollar bill!”
“One dollar? Is that all?” said Chloe, wrinkling up her nose. “The Tooth Fairy gives me five dollars.”
“Five dollars!” said Jessie. “You’re rich!”
“I know,” said Chloe, playing with her shiny, gold necklace and flashing her million-dollar smile. “Since I already lost four teeth, I have twenty whole dollars.”
“My abuela, you know, my grandma, well, she’s really good at sewing, so she made me a little tooth pillow,” said Jessie. “It looks like a smile, and there’s a little pocket where the missing tooth goes. The Tooth Fairy leaves a shiny silver dollar in the little pocket. I’m saving up for a new skateboard like the one you got for your birthday, Freddy.”
“How ‘bout you, Freddy?” said Chloe. “What does the Tooth Fairy bring you?”
Before I could answer, Max butted in and said, “A big, fat, nothin’! The Tooth Fairy has never been to Freddy’s house, remember? Freddy’s just a baby. He hasn’t lost a tooth yet.”
“Well, she’ll be coming soon,” I said, “‘cause I have a really loose tooth.”
“Oh yeah?” said Max. “Which one? Show me, Shark Boy!”
“I don’t have to show you.”
“Liar!” said Max. “You don’t have a loose tooth.”
“Do too!”
“Do not!”
“Do too!”
“Do not!”
“Boys, what is the problem here?” Mrs. Wushy interrupted. “What is all this yelling about?”
“Nothin’,” I mumbled, looking down at the ground.
“Oh, nothin’, Mrs. Wushy. We were just talkin’,” said Max.
