I’m just about to give up on him, having waited forty-five minutes past the time we agreed, when he finally sneaks up behind me.
‘Hey, short stuff,’ he says, all smiles like he hasn’t just had me waiting for all of this time.
‘Hey yourself, arsehole,’ I snap, teeth gritted. ‘Would it have fucking killed you to send a text and say you were running late?’
He rolls his eyes. ‘Chill out, Ice Queen. I was held up at work. My boss wanted to tell me what a good job I was doing.’
‘Oooh, well, I’m very sorry that you were too busy getting praised at work to worry about little old me.’
‘You really are little, aren’t you?’ he smirks, patting me on the head. I’m five foot two. Hardly a midget.
‘You did not just pat me on the head, motherfucker!’ I push him away from me with both of my hands. I could so easily wrap them around his neck and throttle him.
‘Jesus, calm down, woman!’ he says, his hands over his face in a defensive way. Like I’m actually gonna beat the crap out of him. Well... there’s still time.
‘You are the most insensitive, pompous prick I’ve ever met in my life.’ I wail, hitting him on the chest. He barely flinches, damn muscly bastard.
He smirks and does a little bow. ‘Why, thank you.’
‘Aargh.’ I scream in frustration, turning to pick up my camera bag, ready to bolt. ‘This has been a complete waste of time.’
He stops me walking past him by grabbing my arm. Not painfully, but firmly enough to stop me. I look up into his piercing green eyes, my jaw set.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says quietly. I look into his eyes and see he is being genuine. Something extraordinarily rare from him.
My anger starts to dissipate slightly. I sigh, attempting to chill myself out a bit more. I hate how he brings out my inner nutcase.
‘Fine. Do you still want to do this?’
‘Yeah, course.’ He throws his suit jacket on the floor, pulls his tie out and over his head and then starts unbuttoning his shirt. I hate how it’s hot.
‘You’re just gonna get changed here?’ I roll my eyes. ‘No shame,’ I say under my breath, but loud enough for him to hear.
He takes his shirt off, showing off his muscular frame. How is he always so bronzed? I bet he goes on a sunbed, the tart. His nipples turn into erect little buds from the chill.
‘Fuck, it’s cold,’ he complains.
He undoes his trousers, pulls them down and changes into the jeans we’d agreed on. He gets a few stares from passers-by, which he doesn’t even seem to notice.
‘Right, I’m thinking if we go down close to the shore and have you lying on your side.’
He grins. ‘You’ve been wanting to get me in this position for a while haven’t you, Alice?’
A stupid thrill goes through me at him saying my name like that. I’m so used to him calling me Ice Queen. What the hell is wrong with me? It must be his near nakedness. It’s doing weird things to my brain.
He lays down on the pebble beach and immediately starts posing like Zoolander, pouting his lips ridiculously.
‘Jesus, man, stop doing that.’
‘What? You don’t like my blue steel?’ he asks, as if genuinely offended.
I roll my eyes. Jesus, I feel like I’ve been rolling them constantly since he’s moved in. It’s a wonder I haven’t gone cross-eyed.
‘I want you to look more natural.’
‘These many muscles aren’t natural,’ he sniggers. ‘I work bloody hard to look like this.’
He’s so full of himself. ‘What do you want me to do? Bow down to you?’
‘Yep, and while you’re down there.’ He winks.
‘Ugh! You’re such a pig.’
‘You love it,’ he laughs. ‘Okay, do you just want me to smile or what?’
I think about it for a second. ‘No, try looking away from the camera and frowning. Maybe think about something that stresses you out.’
‘Like what?’ he asks.
‘Jesus, for you it’s probably two plus two! Just think about something.’
He pulls an excellent face, looking away as if in anguish.
‘Perfect.’ He moves subtly every few shots so I’m able to get an array of decent pictures. ‘You’re doing great.’ I check back over the photos. They’re looking good already. ‘Okay, now I want you to look directly at the camera. Try to look intense.’
‘It’s fucking freezing,’ he whinges, his teeth chattering.
‘Just do it, Tom! The quicker we get this done, the quicker we can go.’
‘You better make me the biggest cup of tea ever when we get home.’
It still feels weird him referring to my flat as home.
He closes his eyes for a second, opening them to stare down my camera lens, his green eyes so alive I feel a shiver down my spine. He looks like he wants to crawl over and take me, throw me down and ravish the fuck out of me. Shit, this guy’s a good model.
I force myself to act non-affected and instead snap away. He’s doing this for the photos, Alice. Not for you.
I look back at them. Shit, they’re amazing. Brooke will definitely be able to sell these.
‘Okay, great job. You can get dressed now.’
He walks over and slings on a t-shirt and hoodie he brought with him. We start walking back towards the flat together.
‘Those last few shots were great. They should show off our work well. What were you thinking of?’ I can’t help but ask.
He smiles at me from the side of his eyes. ‘You naked.’
I’m so shocked, I stop dead in my tracks. ‘What?’ I blurt out, staring at him open mouthed.
He chuckles. ‘Jesus, don’t look so shocked. You’ve got a rocking little body.’
I don’t know what I’m more shocked at. That he was thinking of me naked or that he just complimented me. But ‘little body’. How condescending.
‘God, make up your mind,’ I snap, choosing to channel my anger. ‘First, you’re calling me ugly, and then you’re complimenting my body.’
He turns towards me, tilting his head to one side. ‘Called you ugly? What the hell are you talking about?’ He seems genuinely puzzled.
I feel myself turning bright red. I shouldn’t have mentioned it. Now it looks like I give a shit what he thinks. When I don’t. I bloody don’t.
‘The other day,’ I admit on a sigh. I know he won’t drop it until I tell him. ‘You said I didn’t have a pretty face.’
He frowns for a second before rolling his eyes. ‘That was just a joke. Did you really think I was calling you ugly?’
I look down at the floor, embarrassed that I’ve shown him my insecure side.
‘Hey.’ He grabs my chin and forces it up, so I have to look at him. Into those amazing piercing greens. ‘You are miles away from being ugly.’
I can’t believe he’s being serious for more than two seconds. For a minute, I wonder if he’s going to kiss me. He keeps looking down at my lips. Would I kiss him back? Should I kiss him back? Why the hell am I even imagining it?
‘I’d totally bang you.’
And there he goes. Being the typical Tom ‘Manwhore’ Maddens I’ve come to expect.
‘You’re full of compliments today,’ I scoff, removing his warm hand from my face.
He smirks. ‘Oh, come on. You have to admit we’re gonna do it soon.’
‘Do what soon?’ I shriek in horror. The boy’s delusional.
‘Have sex.’ I stare back at him in disbelief. Is he this deluded? ‘You know,’ he continues, ‘when a man and a woman go to bed together,’ he explains like I’m a toddler. He starts doing hand motions. The idiot.
‘I’m fully aware what sex is, thank you very much. But, I won’t be having any with you. Not now, not soon, not ever. So, get that idea out of your head.’
‘Okay,’ he says, palms up in defeat. ‘But I’ll remind you of that when you’re climbing me like a tree.’
Jesus, this guy’s a dick.
&n
bsp; Tom
I love how she acts like she doesn’t want this. I saw her checking me out. She wants me and she knows it, but it’s just her prissy little attitude that’s holding her back. Don’t get me wrong, I know deep down that I shouldn’t be getting involved with someone I’m living with, but I eventually plan on getting a place of my own anyway. I can’t be eating her veggie shit forever. So maybe we could fuck occasionally. And anyway, I want to prove Jack and Nic wrong.
But right now, I have bigger problems than trying to persuade Alice to fuck me. My new boss called me in today after work to thank me, just like I told Alice, but it wasn’t the normal thank you. The bitch grabbed my dick through my trousers and asked if I’d liked to be really thanked.
I nearly shit my pants there and then. The woman’s like twenty years older than me and married, not to mention ugly. I can’t believe it. I finally get my dream life in Brighton, get to start afresh, and I have this pervert as my boss.
It was awkward as hell as my body reacted and started going hard. I had to push her away as politely as I could and explain that I think it better we just have a working relationship, but I could see it in her eyes; this isn’t over. She wants me. Curse these good looks! Constantly getting me into trouble.
I’m just about to go to sleep when Charlie’s name flashes up on my phone. Poor bastard probably misses me terribly. Especially with Jack now living here and Nicholas constantly back and forth.
‘Hey, Charlie,’ I say sleepily down the phone.
‘Hey, man. I think I need your help.’
‘Straight to the point,’ I chuckle. ‘Still hungover after birthday drinks, are you?’
He laughs. ‘Nah, it was a quiet one. I’m saving it for the party Friday.’
‘So, what’s up?’
‘Ugh, I need to lose some weight. I’m sick of being the fat mate.’
I roll my eyes even though he can’t see me. ‘Dude, you’re not fat. But yeah, you do need to eat less shit. Just eat better food.’
He does this every year just around his birthday. Vows that he wants to lose weight and buff up. He normally lasts until November and then he starts eating mince pies.
‘You know me, man. I need support. I need someone to tell me exactly what to eat and how to train.’
Just cut down on the McDonalds I want to say.
‘So, what? You want me to make you a plan? I’m no personal trainer, dude.’
‘Exactly. I can’t afford one of those. You can do it for free.’ He chuckles.
‘Ah, I see. But...’
‘But what?’ he asks over eagerly.
I have to ask.
‘You’re not doing this for Molly, right? You’re not still thinking you can bag her.’
The guy needs to get that she’s into pussy.
He sighs. ‘Will you guys shut up with that stuff? I know she’s gay. I just want to lose weight and get healthier.’
‘Okay,’ I say, unconvinced. He’s so got a crush on her. ‘I’ll do something and send it over in the next few days. Your email still charliewillywonkachocolatefactory?’
‘Yep, that’s me. Thanks, Tom! I owe you. See you at the party.’
Friday 19th October
Alice
Today we’ve all got the day off work to drive up to Peterborough. It was Charlie’s birthday on Wednesday and his family have insisted on throwing him a birthday party, even though it’s his thirty-second birthday. Apparently, they do it every year.
The lads told us it’s because he’s an only child and they absolutely dote on him. I think it’s adorable. I’d love parents to be excited to celebrate the day I was born, but mine normally just invite me round for dinner so they can judge my life choices. That’s something to look forward to in a month or so. I shudder just at the thought of it.
Tom’s insisted on driving, claiming that I’m a shit woman driver. I only asked him to park my car on the road for me once. I’m not the best parallel parker at the best of times, and our road is filled up by six pm. Jack and Erica are in the car with us, while Brooke’s taking Molly and Evelyn. I’m in the back with Erica, while the boys talk shit in the front.
‘So, have you been missing home, Tom?’ Erica asks him.
‘I’ve barely been gone,’ he chuckles. ‘But, yeah, it’ll be nice to see all of the lads together. But I’ve got to put up with the pussy harem.’
‘Sorry?’ I snort. ‘Did you honestly just say the pussy harem? Who the hell do you think you are? Tom Hardy?’
I see him grin in the mirror. ‘I have been compared to him.’
The annoying thing is that I can see that. He reminds me of him when he was younger and cleaner looking, before he got roughed up and utterly fuckable.
‘But seriously, you think you have a little fan club here, do you?’
‘Hey,’ he snorts. ‘I can’t help that I’m in demand. Unfortunately, there’s just not enough dick to go around.’
‘I’ve heard there’s just not enough dick,’ Jack snorts. Tom reaches across and punches him playfully on the arm.
‘You’ve been talking to some jealous exes, mate. They’re all gagging for a bit of me.’
I roll my eyes. ‘God, you are so self-assured. I can’t wait to meet your parents. Find out what kind of idiots raised you.’
He grins. ‘I think it’s a bit too soon for you to be meeting the parents, sweetheart. I haven’t even fucked you yet.’
Erica bursts out laughing. So not the supportive friend I’m looking for right now.
‘Forget the ‘yet’ part of that sentence. You will never fuck me.’ God, he’s even got me talking like him.
He snorts. ‘Prepare to eat your words, babe. That and my dick.’
‘Oh my god, you are such a fucking pig!’ I shout. ‘I can’t believe I’m being forced to live with you.’
‘That’s not what you said when you rang me up begging me to move in with you. I remember some pleading going on. You sounded pretty desperate for me. Get ready to be that desperate again, baby.’
Ugh, I despise when men call women ‘baby’. Like we’re some infant that’s unable to look after themselves without a protective man. How pathetic. Everyone knows men wouldn’t even exist if us women didn’t experience the most excruciating pain imaginable to bring them into the world.
‘You’re right, I was desperate. As in, had no other choice as to how to make the rent.’
‘God,’ Jack laughs. ‘You guys are like an old married couple.’
‘Maybe you do need to sleep together,’ Erica laughs. ‘Just to get rid of this sexual tension.’
I glare at her. ‘Just when I thought you’d be on my side, you go and say something stupid. There is no sexual tension between us. Just tension.’
Tom laughs. ‘Well, maybe you should let me massage that tension right out of you.’
‘Fuck off, Tom. Never gonna happen.’ I rest my head against the window and close my eyes, purposely showing that I intend to go to sleep.
They all laugh like it’s fucking hysterical. Dickheads. I’ll be having words with Erica later. Just because she wants to go on loads of double dates, she wants us all to get with each other. Well, that’s not how real-life works. And that’s definitely not how Alice Watts works.
What the guys failed to tell us is that not only does Charlie’s family celebrate with a party every year, but also that they enjoy embarrassing him by surprising him with a different childhood theme. This year it’s a Batman party.
We’re handed Batman masks as we enter the large village hall filled to the brim with black balloons, hanging bats and a huge sign on the wall that says ‘Welcome to Gotham City. Happy birthday, Charlie.’ There’s a huge buffet table along one wall with buckets of beer in ice and a green punch called ‘Joker Juice’.
‘Help yourself to drinks,’ a lady dressed as Joker says to us. Not a sexy Joker woman version like you’re thinking. I’m talking the proper scary looking Heath Ledger version, and this is a woman in her early fifties.
>
The guys say hello and give her a kiss on the cheek.
‘This is Charlie’s Mum, Karen,’ Jack shouts over the loud disco.
I stare back at the woman. Wow, she’s really gone to town on her outfit. She’s sprayed her hair bright green and drawn her red lipstick all the way to her ears. She has on a purple pin-stripe suit which looks at least a size too small. I’m expecting it to burst and to be blinded by a button any minute. Underneath, she has on a green shirt showing far too much cleavage, and a yellow waistcoat.
We wave our polite hellos. Molly spots us and comes running over. ‘Oh my god, you’ve met Charlie’s mum. Aren’t his family hilarious and so sweet?’
‘Yeah, they’re something, for sure,’ Erica says in my ear.
I decide to just throw myself into it and pour myself some of the Joker juice. Looks like I’m in for a weird night. Might as well embrace it.
I actually can’t believe how loved Charlie is. At first, I found it weird for them to be throwing a children’s themed party and obviously dressing up. I was really shocked when his Dad was dressed as Robin in very tight exposing lycra. Let’s just say I could see everything. Everything.
But now that I’ve had time to chat to his family, I see how lovely and down to earth they are. Despite being an only child, he has over fifteen first cousins, some with kids of their own dancing around in little Batman outfits. Watching him interact with them all really warms my heart. They all seem super close. It makes me wish my family were like this.
I’m just at the bar getting a round in when I hear a gaggle of girls talking about Tom.
‘You can’t still want him, can you, Rachel?’ one friend asks.
‘Of course I do! I know it’s crazy, but once you’ve had Tom ‘Manwhore’ Maddens, you can’t go back to normal guys.’
‘I totally agree,’ another joins in. ‘He’s ruined me for other men.’
‘Right!’ another one cackles. ‘It’s like he injected some crazy juice into my veins or something. I mean, I have never, and I mean never come like that before in my life.’
Bagging Alice (Standalone) (Babes of Brighton Book 3) Page 5
