‘Well, if he’d stop being such a stubborn bastard and look at his matches he might just stand a chance.’
I roll my eyes and complete the form ticking the STI check. I wait as the other numbers are called. Brooke tells me that two of Jack’s photos have sold for £600 each. That means I’ve earnt £480 just for two photos. Who knew this would actually work?
My number is finally called.
‘Want me to go in there with you?’ she asks with raised eyebrows. ‘Hold your hand?’
‘I’ll be fine,’ I say rolling my eyes. We both know I’m lying, but I square my shoulders and follow the lady into the room. She takes my form and scans over it.
‘Okay, Miss Watts. Do you mind me calling you Alice?’
The woman is about to look at my vagina. I’m pretty sure we can be on first name terms.
‘Fine,’ I nod.
‘Okay, so you’re here for an STI check. I just need to run through some routine questions first.’
I nod again, bracing myself.
‘So, in your own words why are you here today?’ She smiles kindly.
‘Err... for an STI check...?’
She nods, the corners of her mouth upturning ever so slightly. She quickly recovers so as to look professional. ‘So, you’ve had unprotected sex recently?’
‘Um...’ I clear my throat. ‘Yes.’
‘Okay, and are you aware if this person already has an STI?’
‘No. He said he’s been tested, but I’m not sure if he’s telling the truth.’
God, I feel like a slut saying that. Admitting that I’m sleeping with someone I don’t trust one hundred percent.
‘How many people have you had sexual contact with in the last six months?’
Jesus, how is this relevant?
‘Just the two.’ I’m sure she’s used to people saying hundreds.
‘Can you describe your last sexual experience?’
I nearly choke on my own tongue. ‘Excuse me?’ This bitch wants gory details? Wants to know what position we used? Is this even relevant?
‘The type of sex,’ she clarifies, ‘whether it was oral, vaginal or anal.’
‘Oh, um, vagina-based.’ God, I sound like an idiot. ‘But I mean, he has gone down on me too.’ God, this is mortifying.
‘Do you have one or more sexual partners?’
‘No! God, one at a time. Jesus.’ The back of my neck is starting to sweat now.
‘Please remember that these questions aren’t used to judge you. We just need to ask them.’
‘Okay,’ I nod, squirming in my seat.
‘Is your partner of the same gender or opposite?’
‘It was a man.’
‘Has your sexual partner ever paid for sex?’
My eyes widen. She’s asking if Tom’s ever had sex with a prostitute? ‘Oh my god, no! I mean, shit, I hope not.’ Way to sound confident about your sexual partner.
‘Is your sexual partner bi-sexual? Has he ever had anal sex with a man?’
‘No! Jesus.’ My cheeks are burning. I want to get out of here. My heart is beating so fast I can hear it. If it carries on like this, I’m going to be headed for a panic attack.
‘Has he ever had sex with an animal?’
‘Jesus, of course not! What kind of freaks do you think we are?’
It’s my tattoos, isn’t it? It’s caused her to judge me. People are always the same.
‘Just standard questions.’ She writes something on her notes. ‘Right, here it is.’ She hands over a container holding what looks like a long cotton bud.
Hang on a minute. Does she expect me to do it myself?
‘Oh... do I do it myself then?’ I ask, feeling stupid.
‘Yes, in the bathroom.’ I stare back at her in disbelief. ‘You do know where your vagina is, don’t you?’ she smiles. Oh, she’s taking the piss out of me. Nice.
‘Okay.’
I go to the bathroom and insert the cotton bud thing. Wiggle it around inside myself and then put it safely back into the container. I go back in and hand it over to the lady.
‘Great, thanks. Now I’ll just take a blood test to rule out HIV. If everything comes back fine, we’ll send you a text message. If there are any issues, we’ll give you a call.’
How can she be so bloody calm about it? In a few days I’m going to know if I’m fine or if the man I’m sleeping with is a liar.
Saturday 17th November
Alice
I look at myself in the mirror, smoothing down my floral Nancy dress in an array of blues, blacks, and greys, on white cotton. Its sweetheart neckline is flattering to my modest chest, but you want to know the best thing about it? There are hidden pockets in the flared swing skirt. I love pockets on dresses! Somewhere to put your hands when you’re feeling awkward. Or to store your lipstick.
Tom sidles up behind me, smoothing his hands over the fabric at my waist and moving them down to my bottom which he gives a slight squeeze.
‘You look gorgeous.’
I turn to him in his dark navy suit and white shirt. ‘You don’t look so bad yourself.’
In fact, he looks fucking delicious. He’s so muscular you can make out the curves of his biceps in that jacket. And I hit that. Yeah, I do!
We get a taxi to the zoo and follow the signs to the fundraiser, all the while avoiding having the awkward conversation I feel is lingering over us. We enter their conference hall to find it decorated with the huge printed out pictures that I took for their website. Wow, they look good in large, if I do say so myself. Molly is so sneaky. She never said she was doing this.
There are green and yellow balloons dotted around the place with a huge sign that says ‘Raise Money for our Animals!’
‘Hey, guys!’ Molly says, bounding over to us in a pink-sequinned dress better suited to Barbie. Only she could pull it off.
‘Hey,’ we both smile.
‘The guys are all over by the bar. I’ve got to go schmooze.’ She totters off in her heels.
Tom laughs. ‘Of course they are.’
We walk over to them. ‘Well,’ Tom says slapping Jack and Nicholas on the back, ‘don’t we all look dapper in our suits?’ He takes two glasses of Prosecco and hands one to me.
‘Where’s Pickles?’ Evelyn asks.
Did she seriously think we’d bring her?
‘Our day care lady has her,’ I explain with a nod. ‘Keeping her overnight.’
‘Hey, guys, I have a question,’ Brooke says playfully. On closer inspection her hair is messy and her eyes a bit glassy. God, she’s drunk. When did she start drinking? Nicholas straightens himself behind her as if ready to reel her in. ‘Are you guys officially together now, or what?’
I freeze, my cheeks heating so much I’m scared they’ll actually set on fire. Why the hell is she bringing this up? She knows I want to see how it goes.
‘Because it is exhausting watching you dance around each other,’ she continues before throwing her head back on a laugh.
I notice Tom tensing beside me. Why the hell did she decide getting so smashed this early would be a good idea?
‘Alright, Brooke,’ Nicholas says. ‘I told you to slow down tonight, remember?’
‘Jeez, what is the big deal?’ she snaps, before turning to glare at Jack. Why is she glaring at Jack? What did he do?
‘Brooke, can I have a word?’ I ask with a polite smile. I take her arm and start dragging her away from everyone. When I’m pleased we’re in a quiet enough corner I start my interrogation. ‘What’s going on? You never normally get this trashed. This can’t just be about Nicholas pressurising you to move, can it? And why are you glaring at Jack?’
She scoffs. ‘Because everyone thinks he’s fucking perfect and I know better.’
I frown. ‘Who, Jack? You know better? Why?’
‘He’s cheating on Erica,’ she blurts out with a hiccup.
My mouth drops open.
‘He’s WHAT?’ I shriek, causing half the hall to turn and stare at
me. I wait until the chatter goes back to an acceptable level. ‘Why the hell do you think that?’
‘I’ve caught him twice whispering on the phone. The minute he sees me he panics and starts rambling some excuse.’
That’s really not strong evidence.
‘So, what makes you think he’s cheating? He could be talking to anyone.’
‘Really?’ she raises her eyebrows. ‘Even you can’t be that stupid.’
‘Even me?’ I snap. ‘What the fuck does that mean?’ I hate mean drunks. My own mother is one.
‘That you’re naive when it comes to men.’
She might as well have slapped me. It stings just the same. Especially with everything up in the air between me and Tom.
‘Admit it, Alice. You have bad taste in men. Tom is no better. I mean, do you even know if you’re just fucking friends, or whether he even likes you for real?’
Brooke is never this mean. I hate how she’s this drunk.
‘Fuck you, Brooke. I’ll ask him right now if it stops you chatting shit.’
I spin on my heel and go straight for Tom. I pat him on the shoulder. He turns around with a smile.
‘I need to talk to you.’ I take his hand and lead him out through the patio doors. We walk through an animal enclosure, the lights dimmed. I’m assuming the animals are asleep.
‘Listen, Tom. I have to tell you something.’
Here goes. I look into his green eyes lit up by the moonlight, aware I’m potentially about to break my own heart. Hearing he’s not interested in me like that is going to hurt.
‘I...’ I’m interrupted by a loud barking noise. Shit, they have dogs in this zoo?
‘What the hell is that?’ he asks, standing in front of me to guard me against the barking dogs I’ve no doubt are about to be released to kill me. That small gesture tells me he truly cares, regardless of what he’s about to say.
The barking goes again, this time followed by a loud, deep ‘Eugh!’
‘I don’t think it’s a dog,’ I say, standing out in front of him and attempting to follow the sound. I walk down around a corner and find two sea lions yapping away.
‘Sea lions,’ Tom laughs. ‘I had no idea they were such noisy fuckers.’
‘Yeah, who knew,’ I giggle.
‘Anyway, what were you trying to say?’
‘Oh, I -’
‘EUGHHHHHHH!’ they shout again.
He smiles, and it’s so beautiful I have to remind myself why I’m trying to ruin this. So, what if he doesn’t feel the same way about me? The main thing is that right now we’re together. In some capacity at least. Right now, I have him and the thought of letting him go has me gasping for breath.
He takes my hand and pulls me further away from them.
‘I just wanted to ask...’ I swallow, in an attempt to calm myself, ‘if this is real?’ I look down at the floor. ‘You know, if we’re sort of... together, or if we’re just like... doing this as friends?’ God, I sound like an idiot. I hate myself.
He takes me around the waist, sending tingles up and down my spine. I brace myself to be let down gently.
‘Alice, I’m in. Full in.’
He what now? Did I hear him right? He’s in?
‘Really? And you reckon you’re able to have a proper relationship with me?’ I ask with a nod, unable to believe him.
‘When you put it like that....’ he grimaces, before bursting out laughing. ‘Yes, Alice. For you, it’ll be easy.’
He moves his lips to kiss the corner of my mouth before placing them fully on mine as if they’ve always belonged there. His hand travels up my spine until they’re in my hair, sliding out to frame my jaw.
I kiss him back with everything I’ve got, as if pouring my feelings into him. Telling him how happy I am that he’s willing to try. He’s made it sound easy, but I know with him it will be anything but. How can one person change their core personality completely overnight? I dismiss the thought as he breaks the kiss.
We walk back into the hall hand-in-hand just as Molly’s finishing her speech.
‘And now I’ll hand you over to my friend Jack Lawson.’
Jack? What the hell is Jack doing up there? I didn’t think he was helping with the charity. He walks up and takes the mike. Erica looks just as baffled as us. Why wouldn’t he have told her if he was involved?
‘What’s he doing?’ I whisper to Tom.
‘Fuck knows,’ he whispers back, looking as anxious as me.
‘Right. Hi, everybody. My name is Jack Lawson and I hope you don’t mind me sabotaging the evening.’
‘Boo!’ Brooke heckles, laughing at herself. Nicholas frowns next to her.
Erica’s looking panicked now. Charlie’s chewing his lip. If anyone knows something its him.
Jack clears his throat. ‘Did you know that a family of Meerkats is often called a mob, gang, or clan? Well, I wanted to wait until we had our gang together again before I said this.’ He looks around at us and smiles. Oh my god, wait. Is he... proposing to Erica? No!
He locks eyes with a very jittery Erica.
‘Elephants never forget, and I’ll never forget the moment I first met you at that little caravan park in Burnham-on-Sea.’
Erica’s cheeks turn bright red.
‘Erica, you might not have been as tall as a giraffe, as graceful as a gazelle, or as fabulous as a flamingo, but you were as cute and furry as a panda.’
Panda? Jesus, someone should have helped him with this speech.
Molly starts giggling. I can basically see Erica wondering if that means she’s got too much facial hair.
‘I love our sloth like lazy Sundays where we pig out on takeaways and sweets.’
Erica smiles back at him, slowly calming down the more he talks.
‘I know that sometimes you can be as fierce as a tiger and sometimes a right moody cow. A drama llama with the snap of a crocodile when you have a big camel style hump.
‘Well, sea otters hold hands when they sleep, so they don’t drift away from each other at night. I want to hold your hand every night and wake up with you there every morning.’
Oh my god, this is so sweet. I feel myself tearing up. I want this kind of love. Will Tom ever be capable of this?
‘I want you to waddle like a penguin when we have our first baby. I don’t care if you put on so much weight you turn into a hippopotamus or if you turn clingy like a koala.
‘I’ll never be a cheetah and I’ll try my best not to be a baboon. I promise to always stay foxy and never be a snake.
‘So, Erica Bennett, will you hold my otter pocket for eternity? Make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?’
Oh my god, I was right. He wants to marry Erica!
Everyone turns to look at Erica. She’s smiling, no… beaming at Jack. It’s obvious what her answer is even before she speaks.
‘Of course, I’ll marry you!’ she squeals.
Monday 19th November
Tom
I can’t believe Jack and Erica are getting married. It’s insane! I mean, I guess I always knew he was in it long term with her, but marriage is a whole other step and one I thought was a few years away. Just the thought of spending my entire life with someone fills me with dread. To think Jack is ready to take that step scares me.
I look at Alice who’s busy washing up after breakfast. Shit, does she want all this eventually too? Am I even able to give her this? I’ve only ever been good at seducing women. Not having to please them long term. Fuck, I need a shot. Not another day of being pressured by this boss of mine. I’ve decided that today I’m going to tell her once and for all to back off.
The problem is I’ve been too polite. Too scared of losing my job to tell her to stop. I think once I stand up for myself and let her know I’m having none of it she’ll get embarrassed and back off. Well, that’s what I’m hoping for. I need to get it sorted now I’ve lied to Alice and said I’ve already done it.
I’ve been at work fifteen minutes when I fe
el her behind me. It’s like every hair on the back of my neck stands up to attention when she’s around. Alert and alarmed at her presence.
‘Tom, I’ve just sent you a spreadsheet. Open it up please.’
I cringe inwardly, begrudgingly opening the attachment. She leans over me, one arm on the back of my chair, the other caging me in. Her slutty perfume completely overpowers me. I have to stifle a cough.
‘As you can see,’ she says pointing at the screen with her long red nails, but at the same time managing to flash her cleavage. I turn and deliberately keep my eyes on the screen.
She starts waffling on, dragging out her explanation so that she can stay close to me.
‘Tom.’ I snap back to reality to find her staring at me. She licks her lips suggestively. Her lipstick has run into the lines around her lips. ‘Can I see you in my office for a moment?’
Oh God. I’ve used every excuse possible up to now, to avoid going into her office with her alone. But for the life of me I can’t think of a single reason why I can’t go with her. Maybe I should just accept my fate. Stop running from it. That’s what I came in here to do today; confront her.
I nod and numbly follow her into her bland blue office.
‘Shut the door behind you,’ she orders as she sits down behind her desk.
I begrudgingly shut it. Keep it together, Tom. She can’t do anything to you that you don’t want to happen.
‘So,’ she begins chewing suggestively on a pen. ‘How do you think you’re getting on working here, Tom?’
I put my hands in my pockets to stop them shaking and rock on my heels. ‘Okay, yeah.’ I shrug, wanting to appear laid back and in control.
She stands up and walks slowly towards me. Her walk is predatory, her gaze challenging.
‘I’d say your performance has been pretty standard. Under normal circumstances I’d be arranging your P45.’
‘But...’I ask, knowing she wants me to bite.
She comes so close I can feel her breath on my ear. ‘But I’m sure there are ways for you to improve on your performance.’ She leans forward and cups my dick.
Bagging Alice (Standalone) (Babes of Brighton Book 3) Page 16
