by Ivy Smoak
"What does it matter?"
"I just don't see how you could not be speaking to them."
"You don't really speak to your Dad," he said.
I swallowed hard and dropped his gaze. "That's not really my choice. It's his."
"I know. I'm sorry." He ran his fingers through my hair again, but his chest remained tense.
"Whatever disagreement you had couldn't be enough to make you lose a relationship with them."
"I told you. We had different ideas of what my future looked like. Which is important to me. And I thought it might be important to you too."
A future with Mason? That's what I wanted. But his broken relationship with his parents was the last thing nagging at me. I wanted a relationship with my dad. But he walked out on me and my mom. He didn't want to be a part of my life. Mason's parents cared so much about him that they wanted him to have a secure, happy life. My dad didn't give a shit about what happened to me. Mason didn't even realize what he was giving up.
I shifted off his chest and sat up. "I want a future with you."
He stared back at me. "But?"
"What was the fight about exactly?"
"My dad wants me to take over the family business. MAC International isn't for me, though. I hate finance. And I told him that. But he doesn't care. He doesn't care about my happiness. I want to be in advertising. He thought I couldn't do it without his money but..." Mason's voice trailed off. He sat up and put his hand on the side of my face. "Advertising makes me happy. You make me happy. I don't need them."
"They're your parents, Mason. It's not about needing them. It's about the love that you share. They're your family."
He frowned. "My dad doesn't care about my happiness."
"I'm sure that isn't true. He's probably worried about the company he started. He doesn't want it to fall apart when he retires. And he probably wants to know that you and the company will be secure when he's not there. He's trying to take care of you. And maybe, just maybe, he's as stubborn as you."
Mason sighed. "You don't even know him."
"But I want to."
"You want to meet my parents?"
"We're living together. Isn't that kind of part of the package?"
"Trust me, you don't want to meet them."
I bit my lip. I did want to meet them. "I was thinking about Penny and..."
"Oh." Mason ran his hand through his hair. "This isn't like that, Bee. I'm sure my parents would want to meet you. They'll be thrilled that I have a girlfriend. I mean they want me to end up with some rich snob probably, but they definitely disapproved of the way I have been living. Before I met you, I mean. Like the clubs and stuff. They'll be relieved that you're sweet and beautiful and smart and that I'm not paying you." He pressed his lips together, clearly hoping that I had somehow missed the fact that he had called me his girlfriend.
"Girlfriend?"
"Yeah." He put his hand on the small of my back and pulled me on top of him. "I did tell Carter that you were my girlfriend the other day. It just slipped out. I know we haven't really talked about that, but..."
"I like the sound of that."
"You do?"
"I do." I placed a kiss against his lips.
He grabbed the back of my head, deepening the kiss. It didn't matter what was going on with his parents. He had asked me to move in with him. He had asked me to be his girlfriend. I was on the top of the world. And maybe I'd be able to help him work out his problems with his parents. I wanted him to be happy. Something had been bothering him the past few days. The way he reacted to me bringing his parents up made it seem like that was the problem. He'd given up his nightlife for me. He'd given up his bachelor pad. I wasn't going to nag him about this. They'd work it out. And I'd be there for him if he needed me. I wanted to be his rock. Because somewhere along the past month he had become mine.
His hand drifted to my ass.
I laughed as he rolled on top of me, pinning my hands to the mattress.
"Your way or my way?" he asked.
"Your way." I had given him my heart. Tonight I would surrender my body to him. Not that I didn't want to. I wanted to give him every piece of me. And I loved everything he did to me because I loved him. I love you, Mason Caldwell. Hopefully I'd find the courage to tell him soon.
***
When I woke up the bed was empty beside me. There were small red marks around my wrists where the handcuffs had been. Just thinking about last night made me blush. I quickly climbed out of bed. I didn't have anywhere to go today, but Mason did. And I wanted to make him breakfast. I didn't want him to think I was mooching off of him. I'd start looking for a job this morning too. If I had to find a menial job while looking for the perfect fit I would. I had worked as a waitress during college. I could do that again. But this time I was going to hold out on an advertising job as the next full time position I accepted. No more bullshit stepping stones. And no more bosses like Mr. Ellington.
I opened up the top drawer of Mason's bureau. I hadn't unpacked anything yet, but he had cleared this spot for me awhile ago when I stared spending the night so much. I pulled on a clean pair of jeans and a tank top. One of the best things about Mason's apartment, aside from him being in it, was that it wasn't freezing cold. I would have had to wear two hoodies in my apartment to be this warm in the morning.
Today I was going to tell Mason that I loved him. I wasn't going to wuss out like I had last night. I didn't know very much about Mason's dating history. Kendra had said he hadn't had a girlfriend since high school. But that was information she found on Facebook. It wasn't necessarily true. I had only ever told Patrick that I had loved him. And I was nervous that Mason wouldn't say it back. Maybe he had never said it to anyone before. Maybe I'd be his first. I laughed at the phrase. I definitely wasn't Mason's first anything. It would be better if I hoped to be his last.
I walked out into the hallway. I froze when I heard Mason's voice.
"I'll get in touch with my contact on the cheerleading squad today," he said. His office door was open. I knew I shouldn't eavesdrop, but he had gotten my attention. Was he talking about the woman from that club he took me to? The ex cheerleader who had tried to give him a blowjob right in front of me? The memory made my stomach churn. He told me he had given all that up. I thought about how she had touched the belt on his waist. I had never been a jealous person. I guess it had started after Patrick had cheated on me. It was hard for me to trust anyone. But I trusted Mason. For some reason, my feet didn't agree with my mind, because I had inched closer to Mason's office door.
"We won't need a permit for Central Park," Mason said. "The Knicks already have it. Besides, we'll be using cell phone cameras and keeping it really simple. The best part is that no one will ever really know whether it was staged or not."
Silence. My heart was beating fast. The Knicks cheerleaders? This wasn't about him hooking up with that girl from that club. He was talking about an ad idea. My ad idea. Had I told him about that? I knew I told him I was upset that Jenkins pitch had gotten chosen. But I never told him about my pitch. I definitely hadn't.
"I already have the actor. I'll call you later with an update, John. We should be good for next week, though."
John Landry? From Sword Body Wash? My whole body felt cold. Mr. Ellington had said we lost the account. Had Mason stolen it? With my idea? How the hell did he know my idea? I leaned against the wall. My coworkers had heard it. Mason was friends with Jenkins. Maybe...oh my god. I tiptoed away from his office and into the kitchen. I grabbed my purse off the counter and pulled my notebook out of it. I flipped through it until I came to the torn out page.
Mason had left me a note the morning after he had slept at my place. I ran my finger along the jagged edge of the page. Mason had read through my notebook. He had read through all my marketing ideas. Is that why he had been so persistent after I drove away on our first date? Had he just wanted information about what Kruger was doing? So he could steal clients? For what, Blue Media or mayb
e even himself?
I felt cheap. And stupid. Of course Mason didn't actually like me. He was just using me. I put my notebook back into my purse. He was Mason Caldwell. And I was just me. He used women for a living. All he knew was paying women for sex.
When Mason turned the corner and walked into the kitchen I just stared at him. He came over to me and leaned down for a kiss.
My knees felt weak. I wanted to grab the back of his neck and pull him down to me. I wanted to kiss him. Because this asshole had tricked me into falling in love with him. So instead of punching his beautiful face, which he deserved, I wanted to rip all his clothes off. This felt worse that Patrick. Worse because I hadn't even guessed what was going on. Mason was right. I was naive.
I put my hand on his chest so that his lips didn't meet mine.
He smiled down at me. "In the mood for more than kissing? I think I have time for that."
"You're disgusting." My voice sounded small. Why did I always sound so pathetic whenever I needed to be strong?
"You didn't think what we did was disgusting last night." He gave me his panty dropping smile.
"I need to go." I nodded, as if encouraging myself that I was making the right decision.
"Wait, what?"
"I made a mistake. This was a mistake. I'm sorry." And why did I always apologize? What on earth was I apologizing for? I turned away from him. I needed to find my coat and my shoes. I needed to get out of his apartment. I slipped on my boots that were next to the door.
"Bee?" He put his hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay?"
I pushed his hand off of me. "Am I okay? Of course I'm not okay." I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks. I was such an idiot. I kept falling for the wrong guys. The worst possible guys.
"What's wrong? Baby..."
I put my hand up so he wouldn't touch me. "You know what's wrong."
"No, I don't. I asked you to move in with me. I asked you to be my girlfriend. I would have guessed we were in a good place."
"Exactly, Mason. You made me fall in love with you."
A smile spread across his face. "You're in love with me?"
"No. I mean yes. I don't know! You tricked me."
"I didn't trick you." He took another step toward me.
"If all you wanted was sex and information, fine. But I asked you not to break my heart. You didn't have to do this. You didn't have to take it this far. You made me fall in love with you."
His eyebrows lowered slightly. "Bee..."
"Don't you dare throw some lame excuse at me. I heard you on the phone."
I watched his Adam's apple rise and fall. "You don't understand."
"Were you or were you not talking to John Landry?"
"I was, but..."
"That was my idea, Mason. You stole my idea. You read my notebook."
"I didn't mean to steal your idea. It just slipped out when I was on the phone with him. It was the first thing that came to my head because it's a really, really good idea. I accidentally saw it in your notebook the other morning. I wasn't snooping, I was just trying to get..."
"Do you think I'm a complete idiot?"
"Of course I don't. You know how I feel about you."
That you really like me? He was so full of shit. "And how did you get John Landry's phone number? Is that why you came to the office that night when I was working late? To steal my contacts?"
"No. It wasn't like that. You know none of this was ever like that."
"Oh, is that where you drew the line? Not stealing phone numbers of clients off my computer?"
"Bee, if you would just give me a second to explain..."
"Is that why you agreed to the blind date in the first place? Because you knew I worked for Kruger? You set me up."
"I didn't know you worked for Kruger. All I knew was that you were a secretary."
"So what, you just randomly decided to try the whole dating thing? You were sick of living your life of sin? What?"
"Bee..."
"What, Mason? Why the hell did you even go on that date in the first place? You can have any girl you want in this stupid city. Why did you go on a date with someone like me?"
"For two Knicks tickets! Jesus." He turned away from me and ran his hand through his hair.
"What?" I didn't know what he was going to say. But I hadn't expected that.
He turned back toward me and ran his hands down his face. "Carter and Marie gave me two Knicks tickets for promising to take you out and show you a good time."
"You're lying. They wouldn't do that. I'm not some charity case."
"I don't think you are. But what do I know, right? I'm just your rebound aren't I? Isn't that why Carter and Marie set you up with me? To get over Patrick?"
"Yeah, but..."
"Well, great. I'm glad I could help." He was pissed now. He had let me yell and scream and berate him. He had remained calm the whole time. But when he mentioned Patrick, something changed in his face. Suddenly it felt like I was in the wrong.
"Mason."
"You were still in love with him when we met. You're probably still in love with him. So what the hell are you doing getting mad at me and saying that you love me? You don't love me. You love him."
Is that why he was so upset? He didn't believe that I loved him?
"And I didn't trick you. I accidentally saw what you wrote in your notebook. I accidentally pitched your idea to John Landry. But you don't want my excuses. So I don't know why I'm bothering. Why don't you just run back to Patrick. Clearly that's where you belong."
"I don't love Patrick. I don't want to be with Patrick."
"Then maybe you should find someone who you deem fit for your time. Because clearly it's not me. I have better things to do than stand here and argue with you."
"What, like cater to your new account? The one you got with my idea?"
"Don't act so innocent, Bee. Like you didn't get everything you wanted from me? Like you weren't using me?" He laughed.
"What are you talking about?"
"You only wanted to be with me because of my money. Well guess what? My dad cut me off. I'm not getting his inheritance. Without the Sword account I'd be as broke as you. I'm not a catch, I'm a fucking mess. You're better off without me."
"I don't care about your money. I didn't even know you had any money when I started falling for you. I just liked you for you. Money doesn't matter to me."
"So you just spread your legs that fast for anyone? You're easy, Bee. You're just like every other girl in this fucking city."
"And your just like every other arrogant, pretentious bastard."
"Guilty."
"I never should have trusted you," I said.
"Don't give me that shit. I told you I wasn't a nice guy. You had me pegged from the very start. It just made you want me even more. And it was damn fun stringing you along, waiting for you to beg me."
"So this whole thing was a game to you?"
"A game I always win."
"You're such an asshole."
"Speaking of assholes, I need to go tell my boss that I quit. Thanks, sugar, I really owe you one." He walked over to the door.
"I know you weren't pretending, Mason. I know you feel something more than that for me. It wasn't a game. I know you feel it too. Can we please just talk about this for a second?" He has to feel it too.
"Fucking is my hobby. You were right from the start. You shouldn't have gotten attached."
"So that's it? You've gotten what you wanted and now you're done with me?"
"Like I said, you were easy."
I should have seen it coming. I had gotten so many warnings. I had seen warning signs myself. But I didn't pay attention to them. He completely blindsided me. It was easy for that to happen when you let yourself be vulnerable. I had fallen in love with another asshole.
"I hope you enjoyed your game, Mason." I grabbed my jacket and ran out the door. This time he didn't call after me. He had gotten what he wanted. He used me and cast me aside like a h
ooker. Because that's all he knew. He was a sad, pathetic excuse for a man. And I was an idiot for thinking he'd change for me.
Chapter 62
Mason
I was on my fourth drink, but nothing could seem to numb the pain. It had felt amazing to tell Darren that I quit, but it would have been more rewarding if I hadn't just had the worst morning of my life. I still couldn't believe I said all those things to Bee. But how could she say all that to me? I hadn't tricked her into falling in love with me. She didn't love me at all. She was still in love with Patrick. I downed the rest of my drink and waived the bartender over for a refill.
I stared down into my glass when the scotch was filled up to the top again. I couldn't go home. I knew Bee wouldn't be there anymore. And that thought killed me. All her stuff would be gone, but there would be that lingering smell of her. I didn't want to fall asleep in an empty bed. I didn't want to do anything without her. Asking her to move in had been a shot in the dark. I had hoped I could get her to stay. I was a fucking idiot. I tilted my head back and downed half of my next drink.
"Matt told me I could find you here," James said and slid into the bar stool next to mine. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"There's nothing to talk about." I slammed my glass back down on the bar.
"Well, I heard you landed the Sword Body Wash account. And three others. You'll probably get a few more before the week is over."
"Yeah." I stared down into my glass again.
"So shouldn't we be celebrating? This is everything you've ever wanted."
"I thought it was."
"You're getting soft like me, huh?"
"No." I felt like I wanted to cry. Fuck, I am getting soft.
"Being in love doesn't make you soft, despite what my brother says."
"I'm not in love." I moved my glass around so that the ice cubes clinked against the glass.
"So she's just some girl? There's plenty more right out that door. I guess you'll forget about her in a few days then."
"I don't want to forget about her." And I couldn't. How could I possibly forget about Bee? She was smart, funny, and that perfect combination of beautiful and sexy.
