“You are wounded?” I ask, catching her. She grimaces at the mixture of human and Revari blood that transfers to her own clothing, then cradles her ankle in her hand as soon as she sits on the ground.
“Dislocated it trying to hop over a fallen tree. I’m too old for this shit, man. You’re obviously on your game. I mean damn, what you just did out there was something out of nightmares. It made me cringe, and I’ve done some really messed up stuff.”
“I hold no mercy for those that threaten me and mine.”
“Right. Where is she, by the way? Surely, you didn’t bring her out here.”
“I locked her inside the shelter.”
Anya does the most unexpected thing. She bursts in to laughter amidst her pain. “Oh, lawd, have mercy. She’s going to kick your ass, you know that?”
“I am aware.” Judging by the pure rage she felt when I left, I am going to be paying for this for a while.
As if it is commonplace, she grabs a discarded tree branch and clenches it between her teeth, then holds up her swollen ankle. “Help me out, eh? I can’t walk on the son of a bitch, and I’m not too keen on being carried. We need to get back. What I found at the beach wasn’t good.”
Leigh
Motherfucker. I’m going to kill him. No, I’m going to punch him in the balls. I can’t believe he did this to me. Locking me in here while he goes out there to get himself killed?
What the hell? There are exactly four people in this world I care about, and one of them isn’t even a damn person. My sister hates me, Anya’s missing, and now Saxon rushes into danger and leaves me locked in here?
Fuck. What if they never come back?
A sudden bout of nausea twists my gut, and I lean over to retch. The few pieces of dried fruit I ate come right up, and the walls start to close in. I’ve never been claustrophobic but the idea of being trapped all alone? And knowing Binky is stuck in here too, wondering why I abandoned her while she runs around scared and hungry?
I need to get out. Right fucking now.
The pressure in my head nearly sends me to my knees, and my heart’s racing. Hysteria is taking over, and no matter how many times I tell myself to calm down, it does nothing.
I can’t breathe. I can’t think about anything other than getting out.
With trembling fingers, I key in Anya’s code to open the door. But it doesn’t work. So, of course I try again. And again. And again. Saxon must have overridden it, and I know it’s useless, but I can’t keep myself from pounding on the buttons.
Then on the door. Screaming for him to let me out, over and over until my voice is hoarse.
I lost my chance at having a relationship with my sister and my niece. I’ve come to terms with that. It’s an ugly truth but it’s one I can swallow. But Anya? She’s risked her life for me time and time again, and I can’t do anything to help her. I’ve spent my entire adulthood ignoring the needs of others in favor of my own selfish desires, and now that I’m faced with the chance to change and make a difference, I can’t.
I always thought I’d be better off alone and people will only disappoint and betray me, and now the two people I care most about in the world are out there and quite possibly dying and I can’t do shit to help them.
If I lose either one of them, I won’t be able to forgive him. Or myself.
Like overinflated balloons, my lungs feel like they’re about to explode. My vision tilts, and I sag to the floor with my head between my knees trying to block everything else out and just breathe.
I can’t lose them. I don’t care about my career or my reputation or even myself. Just please…let them both come back alive.
My heart leaps into my throat at the sound of the locks disengaging, and I blink hard trying to clear my vision. The sight of Saxon’s claws wrapping around the edge of the door inspires pure joy as well as a healthy dose of pre-pubescent teenage girl rage.
Not caring about how ridiculous I look, I launch myself at him and wrap my arms around his waist. As soon as he reciprocates the embrace, I shove him back, hard.
“You asshole! I can’t believe you did that to me!” I yell, pounding my fists against him again.
He holds up his hands. “Mu Xitall—”
“No! Don’t Mu Xitall me, you big scary bastard! That was not okay!” The burst of outrage that inspired my courage dies like a flame in the wind, and I’m left with nothing but raging emotion. Tears sting my eyes, and when I push him this time, it’s half-hearted. “You left me in there. I was so worried about you. What if you didn’t come back for me, huh? I would have been stuck in there mourning you until I died alone!”
Chest heaving, I sag into his arms when he holds me once again, not even caring that he’s covered in absolute filth. He’s alive.
“Oh, calm your tits, Leigh. There’s no way he wasn’t coming back for you. Guy’s a fucking killing machine. There were guts flying everywhere.”
Anya!
Nearly falling over from the quick transition, I fling myself at her, and she yelps, then we both fall to the floor. “Easy. My ankle is jacked up. Your boy here had to reset it right after he slaughtered all those poor bastards searching for you. Whatever he did worked because damn, I can actually move it now.”
“What took you so long? You scared the shit out of me. Five hours, Anya! Really? You have so many gadgets here and you didn’t think to take a fucking walkie talkie or something so we’d know if you were still alive? I was worried sick!”
After wrapping her in another embrace, I scoot back on the floor and glare at them both. I’m so very happy they’re alive but damn, if I’m not angry at them both. I know it’s ridiculous. I knew Anya was leaving and that we didn’t have another choice, but I can’t control my reaction. My people are alive. That’s all that matters. Plus, he locked me in a room. I have a full license to be a bitch.
“Yeah, well between Elgin’s minions and the government guys setting up tents on the beach, I had a hard time staying hidden. Hey, where the fuck is my number? The number pinned right up there?”
She jumps up and starts frantically searching for it.
When I grab it off the desk where I set it, she clutches it in her hands and exhales. “Don’t ever fucking touch this. It’s the key to everything.”
Saxon tenses, and I nearly cough on my spit. “Okay, sorry. I won’t. Geeze. Now if you’re done being a spaz queen, tell me about these tents.”
“They found something and are keeping it locked up tight.”
“My travel pod.”
A sense of dread washes over the room. Saxon’s stoic, and I can only imagine all the things running through his mind. He hates it here. Loves me, but after hearing how passionate he is about taking me to his home, I can imagine how devastating it might be to learn it will be impossible.
We can’t let Elgin have Saxon’s travel pod. It represents so much more than just a ship. It’s the death of his dreams and if the general public or the government gets ahold of something that proves aliens do exist, the entire planet will be searching for him. That’s no way to live.
Fuck this. No one’s going to take this from him. Or me.
I guess I wanted to go more than I even realized.
“We’re going to get it,” I say, pulling myself up by the edge of her desk.
Anya shakes her head and points to her ankle. “You see this? They forced me into a tree for four hours. You really think you and a big ass gray alien can go in there unseen and sneak it out? You’re insane. Not happening.”
“We don’t have another choice.” I’m not budging. I have no freaking clue what we’re going to do, but all Saxon’s wanted since the second he woke up and saved my life was to love me and take me home to meet his people. He doesn’t deserve to be threatened or hunted for the personal glory of some rich prick with short man syndrome.
He’s a good man—a strong man—and he’s mine. It’s about time I started acting like it.
“So, think of another one. What you’re talking
about is suicide, Leigh. There must be fifty people crawling all over that tiny part of the beach, and they’ve got people on security. You won’t make it ten feet before someone sees you.”
She jerks her thumb toward Saxon, who’s still pacing and fiddling with whatever is embedded in his wrist. “If you blow through there like hell on wheels, the collateral damage will be insane. There are a ton of people out there who don’t deserve to die just for being on Elgin’s dime. They aren’t soldiers. Not all of them anyway.”
“I have never killed an innocent and do not intend to start now.”
My throat tightens at the hard set of Saxon’s jaw and the emotion swirling in his eyes. He’s still a mess and his hair is wild but nothing stands out more than the pained expression on his face. Whatever conclusion he’s come to distresses him, and I know what he’s going to say before the words even come out of his mouth. It’s the thing he’s avoided thus far, and now he doesn’t have a choice.
“No.”
“You were right, Mu Xitall. We have no other choice.”
“I’m not doing this shit again. You’re not leaving me here to wonder what’s happening to you. Or if you’re safe. I can’t—” my voice wavers, and no matter how hard I try to steady my lip, it trembles anyway.
“I can no longer rely on Pavil. I need to wake the others. Together we can safely take back what belongs to us.”
Anya waves her hands in the air. “Hello? Anyone paying attention? I just told you the beach is crawling with people searching for you. What the fuck are you planning to do, space man? Swim all the way out to the trench and dive down yourself?”
Saxon stops pacing and meets my gaze. That’s exactly what he’s planning.
I don’t exactly like the idea, but it’s not the worst I’ve ever heard. I know Saxon can handle the pressure because he survived once before. And that far down, no one else could touch him, especially if Henrietta is out of commission.
“It could work,” I muse with a shrug. “And I could hide somewhere in the shallow part of the water off-shore to make sure they don’t decide to drag the ocean floor for Henrietta while he’s out there.”
“You will not come.” Saxon crosses his arms and straightens as if that’s enough to shut me up. Please. There’s no way in hell I’m letting him order me to stay. And fuck following him into that stupid room again.
“Are you two serious right now? Neither of you are going. It’s the dumbest fucking plan I’ve ever heard. You might as well walk right up to Elgin, bend over, and let him shove that silver spoon of his right up your ass.”
Narrowing my eyes at Anya, I jut out my jaw trying to exude the confidence I don’t feel. “It’ll work, I’m going, and I don’t want to hear another single thing about it.”
Chapter Sixteen
Leigh
“You’re going to need a lot more than hope to make this happen,” Anya says, tossing me a 9mm gun. It’s heavy and cold, and I have no idea how to use it. It feels so wrong to leave Binky and Anya behind to go with Saxon. But it feels even worse to leave him, so I don’t know what to do. “Real life isn’t like the movies. Don’t get it wet; it won’t fire for shit. And if you point it at someone, be ready for them to die, because otherwise you’ll miss and end up on the wrong end of it.”
She pulls at the harness she’s strapped on me like a backpack, making sure it’s tight, then takes another gun off her table and slides it into the holster.
“Thank you for this.”
“It’s suicide, and I refuse to be a part of it. It also pisses me off that I’ve exposed myself to save your life and you’re just going to piss it away by doing something fucking stupid. But I get it. I know I can’t change your mind. At least, this way I know you have the tools you need.”
“Saxon’s the one doing all the work. I’m just going to sit by and be ready to create a distraction if they approach him. If no one comes, I’ll stay hidden the entire time.”
Anya laughs in a sad sort of way and straightens the wrinkled part of my shirt. “You’re impossible not to notice, friend. Even for a crazy bitch like me.”
There’s a finality to the way she’s looking at me. Almost as if she thinks it’s going to be the last time. “Why do I feel like you’re saying goodbye?”
“Because even though I love you, Leigh. I can’t get behind this insanity. At some point, I’ve got to protect myself and prepare for the worst. If you don’t come back, I’ll still be stuck. When you leave with him, I’ll still be forced into the shadows and eating cold food for the rest of my life, and nothing’s ever going to change that. If we’ve got to say goodbye, now’s as good a time as any.”
The room starts to feel too hot as tears burn my eyes. “That was…fucking harsh.”
“I know. And I don’t mean for it to be. But it is what it is.”
I nod, trying to swallow the lump in my throat and find something to say but I can’t. I guess I didn’t really realize up until this moment how much she really means to me. I’ve been so wrapped up in what it would be like to jump into the unknown with Saxon, I didn’t really think about how it would feel to leave her behind.
Or Binky.
Heavy tears slide down my face and I do my best to collect myself. Can I really do this? Leave the two friends who have stood by me for most of my adult life?
Anya smiles and leans back on her desk. “It’s Sue, by the way. Not Anya. I only used that name because she was my favorite character on Buffy.”
Her honesty warms me, taking away a bit of the misery settling in my chest and I laugh. “Bitch got such a bad rap. I can’t see myself calling you anything else.”
“Ha! She did, and it’s all good. I’ve been someone else for so long I don’t remember what it’s like to be Sue anyway,” Anya mutters.
Almost as if she can sense the tension, Binky jumps up on the table near us and paws at me to pick her up. “You don’t have to do this, you know? No offense, but you’re basically going out there for nothing. You can’t do shit. With as far away as Saxon’s planning to be, anyone on the beach won’t hear you anyway.”
“I have to try.”
As always, Binky begins to purr when I hold her close, and the vibration settles me. She might be a diva—a slightly promiscuous one, apparently—but she’s been my counselor, my friend, and my nighttime snuggle companion during the worst and best of my life here on the island. This is the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.
It might sound dumb because she’s only a cat, but it’s going to kill me to leave her.
“I hate that you have to live like this. I didn’t realize it was this bad,” I say, giving my furry friend one more hug. Anya swipes her hand through the air in a dismissive way and grabs Binky out of my arms.
“Enough, girl. This shit isn’t going to get any easier and you’re wasting time. You need to stop worrying about me and focus on keeping yourself alive.”
I nod, then pull Anya and Binky into one last hug.
Her voice trembles when she says, “If you leave, you can’t come back here.”
“I know.” As I pull away, I can’t resist the urge to nuzzle Binky’s head once more. Fuck, I love this stupid cat. This is so hard. I feel like my heart is ripping in two.
Saxon wraps an arm around my shoulders and presses a kiss to the side of my face. “Stay, Mu Xitall.” His eyes search mine. “You mourn your separation from the furry overlord and your friend. There is no need to choose between us. I will travel faster and be less distracted without you.” He clenches his teeth and looks to Anya. “It is safer if you remain here.”
His words bounce off the surface of my mind but they don’t sink in. It’s almost like I can’t comprehend them. “You’re asking me to let you go without knowing if I’ll ever see you again? That’s not some shit you get to decide by yourself.”
Saxon shakes his head. “ Stop being so stubborn and listen to me. I am asking you to trust me. Stay with Anya. She will keep you safe. It is the best way.” He slides hi
s claw across his wrist in the shape of a crescent moon identical to the mark we both wear and grabs my hand. Rather than cover him completely, the tiny black scales of his suit climb up my arm and wrap around my shoulders and chest.
The remaining part of his suit spreads across his skin, but the thickness over his own upper body is noticeably thinner.
“No, take it back. You need it. This isn’t what I meant.”
“Well, it is what you get. I need to know you are safe. This is the only way to ensure that.” He drags a claw across the suit on his belly roughly, and the scales that cover my chest vibrate. “We can feel each other—know if the other is in pain. If you fear for your life at any time, mark your suit and I will come for you.”
“Swear? Because if you die, I’m going to be so pissed.”
Saxon kisses me hard then yanks open Anya’s shelter door. “By the ancient sky spirits, Mu Xitall. I will give you the world I promised you and no one will stand in my way.”
Saxon
Every single part of my being screams for me to return to her. To lash out at any living thing with breath that comes near and chew and claw my way back home.
Leaving her in the care of another goes against all that I am but I cannot take her with me. It is a selfish thing, to want her always by my side, and foolish to assume I can enter the wet ooze and keep her safe.
If the ancient sky spirits meant for her to go with me, they would have made her body able to withstand the harsh conditions of the liquid prison.
I wish that I were a creature of pure violence. That like many other breeds, could tolerate the useless bloodshed conquering a planet calls for. I would simply give in to my instincts and hunt until there was no one left to challenge me. I have the skill and fortitude to do it.
Saxon (Shared Survival Book 1) Page 12
